Author's note: It's been way too long. Thanks to my kick-ass beta who finally had time to nag me into updating this story many months after she sent back the last draft. You're the best--now stop hounding me and enjoy your time off! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and encouraged me with this story. I hope you enjoy the update.
Growing Up Fast
Chapter 5
Transformations (part 1)
Hey Dom,
First of all, fuck you for all the shit you gave me in your last letter. I'm glad you haven't gotten too soft. If you weren't getting out soon, I'd threaten to never write you again. I know that would break your cold, mean little heart. It's a good thing that I like your sister so much because with anybody else, I'd kick their ass for being as nosy as you are. Speaking of you getting out, don't tell anybody that I told you but Mia's planning a big party for when you get back. She wants it to be a surprise but I figure you'd be pissed if you weren't in on it. Don't say that I never did anything for you.
Anyway, back to why I'm pissed at you. You know I don't mind reading your chicken-scratch every few weeks but when you're lecturing me, I have this bad habit of getting mad and then skipping over to the less annoying parts of your letter. I know I'm a little distracted these days but I'm not going to mess up my life by going to a few street races. You should be thankful since it means I can help out more with the garage and the store. And before you get all guilt-ridden and broody like I know you do, remember that I LIKE doing that stuff. I know CJ had higher hopes for me but that's not in the cards so I've got to play the hand I'm dealt, right? Besides, if I thought I was doing you any favors, I'd sure as hell pick something with better hours and nicer eye-candy than a sweaty Vince and Leon.
Sorry I haven't been keeping in touch as much as usual. I'm sure you've heard what's been going on with my dad from Mia. Nothing that I can't handle though. I've got it under control so don't let her get you all concerned or anything. You know how dramatic and over-protective she can get. Still, it's weird dealing with all this you know. With everybody else, it was quick and I didn't have all this thinking to do about it. I look at my dad everyday and I know he's going to die and that shit is deep. Sometimes I want to put everything behind me and just enjoy the last times I'm going to spend with him but then I look at him not even caring that I have to see him like that. He's still drinking and smoking and screwing off all the doctors. But I don't have to tell you. You know how he is. So fuck it. Some things weren't meant to be I guess.
Enough of that depressing shit though. You won't believe the party we've got planned for Mia's graduation. It's going to be the biggest shit since back in the day--but with less bitches swarming around I hope. Mia and I need to get ours too. Hahahaha! I know you're shitting yourself thinking about us like that but you're going to have to get used to us being women. You know Mia's a good girl--no worries there. Leon, Vince and Jesse are making sure no one forgets it too--Vince a little too much sometimes. You'd be proud of them. We finally found THE car for me. Of course it needs a lot of work and it'll take forever to get into racing form but it'll be worth it. When I saw it, I knew it was the one. You know that feeling you get when you're in the presence of a truly sweet ride? Well multiply that by 10 and you've got what I feel when I look at this car. it's perfect. I can't wait to show it to you. I'm sure your smart ass will have something useful to say about getting it up and running. Besides, if you don't help fix it up, you're just going to have to look at it sitting there every day in the shop and I know that'll piss you off.
I hope you liked the package Mia sent last week. I picked out those socks. Cute, huh? Don't let the lock-down bitches steal them from you. I'll be sure to send pictures of Mia's graduation. She's going to go farther than all of us and that's cool.
Catch you later, playa,
Letty
Dom folded the letter back up and put it in the bag with the rest of his important personal items. He had read it so many times, laughing at all the same spots and feeling yet another pang of homesickness.
It had been a rough 2 years, no doubt about it. Prison was messed up. Everyday seemed like a struggle for survival if you didn't know the routine. Dom tried to stay out of the hot spots because he knew with his temper he was bound to get into trouble sooner or later. But luckily, he had only been in one fight and that had gotten cleared up before the C.O.'s had rolled in on them. He also learned quick that looking the part kept people from dogging him so he beefed himself up so that the other inmates could get a clear idea of who they were messing with.
What also kept him going was knowing what he had to go home to. He noticed that a lot of guys on the inside didn't have that motivation and that's why they didn't care what happened to them while they were locked up. It killed him that he couldn't be there for Mia but he knew she was being taken care of. Letty, Leon, Jesse and even Vince were holding it down with the shops. Letty and Mia made sure they were in the loop. Mia sent him letters all the time and he even got to talk to her on the phone when he could stand being out in the yard with all the knuckleheads. Vince and Mia had made the trip to see him a couple of times but he didn't really like them seeing him locked up. Besides, it was no place for Mia to be hanging out, especially now that she was really growing into a beautiful young woman.
He loved hearing from his little sister but it was also a lot to deal with. There was always the constant reminder of how fucked up the situation was. Mia tried not to even mention anything about prison--she didn't ask any questions and Dom didn't offer any details. They played their roles with her being the cute little sister and him being the overprotective older brother. But what good was all that when he was behind bars? It's not like he could intimidate the little punks who were trying to date her or complain about her revealing, grown-up clothes when she went out. He appreciated the contact but sometimes it was just another reminder of everything he was missing out on because of his stupidity. And that made him feel another level of bad about the situation.
Vince, Leon and Jesse didn't write much, none of them being too excited about the written word. When they did write, it was clear that they felt weird and self-conscious about it. He couldn't really talk to them about what was going on anyway with all the "man rules" against getting too personal. They were his boys but none of them felt like they had it like that. They were uncomfortable talking about how life was moving on without him on the outside. But sometimes Jesse and Leon would send these cool designs for cars asking for Dom's opinion and they'd end up sending stuff back and forth with different modifications. Those were the highlights for him but they were few and far between.
Leave it to his Letty to be his lifeline. Every letter he got from Letty was like a special treat all its own. With her, things were what he would describe as just normal. Every letter from her was like hearing from someone or hearing something you weren't expecting and didn't realize you needed until it's laying right there in your lap. They talked about everything--even in a way that they didn't before he was locked up. It was like he didn't even need to ask her the things he really wanted to know. She just knew and filled him in without missing a beat. All the letters were like the one he just read. So painfully honest and open but with her own kind of edge. And there was a trust that she knew he would understand because his letters to her were the same. He wasn't afraid to tell her about the fight he almost got into in the mess or how lonely he could get even surrounded 24 hours by bodies and noise. Like her, he shared aspects of his daily routine that made this whole crazy situation seem like nothing more than few years spent at a far away college. He would always be grateful to her for that and he made a mental note to tell her someday.
He didn't keep any pictures up in his cell not wanting people in his business. But even at that very moment, he could close his eyes and picture her face and how her hair felt when it brushed against his skin. He could hear her soft laugh. He had been with his share of women--beautiful, hot, sexy, freaky women. Funny how it was Letty that he thought of late at night in his cell, not in the way to satisfy his sexual urges but in a way that reminded him of sensual and loving intimacy, of something more than the physical. But it was in prison more than any other place on the planet that you always thought of the things you couldn't have.
And right now it felt so good to be driving back towards her and Mia and the boys. Back to his old life. It was either going to be great or a colossal disaster. He turned from looking out the window of the moving bus speeding towards L.A. He glanced back down again at his small bag of personal items--the only things to mark the last 2 years of his life. He mentally counted down the minutes until he was back with the people who had stuck by him. The only family he had left now. He was coming home from Hell and he wasn't ever going back to that. Ever.
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The party was in full swing and it was one of the best ones yet. Everyone was saying that it was even better than Mia's graduation party which people had been talking about for months. Dom looked around him at all the people--the friends and family that had gathered to welcome him back to his old world. The music was playing and Mia had made sure there was a spread of food that rivaled any party they had before. Dom hadn't known what to expect when Letty filled him in on the surprise party plans. Two years was a long time and he didn't think anyone would care enough to celebrate his return. People were fickle like that, moving on to the next hot thing in the neighborhood. But a ton of people had showed up and the party was off the hook with the liquor flowing, the girls gyrating and that old feeling that he was the king of the streets. It was strange because he considered being in prison as his shame but it turned out that it made him look more mysterious and dangerous to some people, and therefore more attractive. But he didn't kid himself that his time in prison was something that he should be proud of or anything more than a punishment for something terrible that he had done. That was nothing to brag about.
He had one eye on Mia as usual. She had gotten even more beautiful in the two years that had passed and he was going to have to work extra hard keep the boys in line--including some of HIS boys it looked like. Vince was the same jerk he always was. That would never change he thought. And he had brought Leon and Jesse completely into the fold of his crazy world. He wasn't exactly the best influence out there but it was all good as long as they were there for each other. In fact, Vince and Jesse had helped Leon fix up this sweet ride that he was sporting around town these days.
Dom was so lucky to have all of this given what he had done. It was more than he could ask for and also more than he deserved in his mind. And dammit, he was going to enjoy it. Nothing was to be taken for granted.
He felt ungrateful wishing for more but he could not deny that things were not the same without having Letty in the crowd. On nights like this she would either be playing at being Mia's sidekick or posturing to get the boys to take her seriously. She wouldn't stand to be dismissed. He was sure that hadn't changed much in the last two years and his money was always on her. He had been really looking forward to seeing her almost as much as Mia. He understood why she couldn't be there and he wanted to believe that she was as disappointed as he was. But realistically, he just wanted to see her even though he knew that she had other things on her mind at the moment.
Charles Torres--chronic alcoholic, ever-grieving widow, one-time mechanical genius and father of two of the most influential people in his life, only one of them still living--was dead. And it was up to his only living relative, his daughter Charlotte to make sure that despite what a crappy father he had been for the past 15 years, he was laid to rest where he was meant to be--by his beloved wife's side.
Her father had died 2 days before Dom had been released and she had driven back to New Mexico to bury him next to her mother. According to Mia, she didn't think he deserved it but she knew that it was the right thing to do. Dom wasn't pleased to hear that they let her drive all that way by herself but she had insisted on going alone. Leon had even showed up at her doorstep with packed bag in hand but she had sent him away. She had a lot to process and the long drive was just what she needed to get her head straight. So she had said goodbye to the crew, made Mia promise to give Dom a hug for her, warned the guys not to let too many skanks in the house and then drove off to close a very large and sad chapter in her life.
He thought the news was guaranteed to take away his socializing mood. But Dom had done his best to put all of that out of his mind after the party got into full swing. He was sitting in the living room drinking a Corona and bullshitting with his boys like old times. He had a hottie sitting on his lap looking completely satisfied after his having rocked her world a half hour before. Freedom felt good. For a moment, it was almost like nothing had changed.
He looked out the window at a noise in the front yard and saw the blinking of some lights farther down the street. He leaned back and squinted his eyes to see what the activity was, dismissing the Lanson's too bright sensor light. Some things really did never change. But he continued to stare out the window and quickly realized that he had automatically shifted his gaze to Letty's house two doors down, looking as dark and sad as he imagined she felt at the moment.
Damn. Even with all this life happening around him, he couldn't get her off his mind.
A shifting of movement broke Dom free of his revery as he watched a small form move silently in the driveway of the house. Maybe it was his brain trying to catch up with his longing for Letty but finally it registered that it was the object of his thoughts that he was staring at, moving around at 1:00 in the morning.
Her garage door was open and it looked like she was rifling through the contents of her car trunk parked snugly in the dark garage. Dom didn't need more encouragement to go to her. He carelessly slid his hottie of his lap causing her to frown deeply.
"Where you going baby?" she asked flipping her long bleached blonde hair over her shoulder and trying her best to sound sexy and not clingy like all the other skanks at the party. She failed miserably.
"I'll be back. Don't worry about it." He placed his beer bottle on the table and moved to leave. Not willing to let her conquest go so easily the hottie grabbed for his hand not realizing that such a move was likely to land her on thin ice with Dom. Fortunately for her, Dom had other things on his mind.
"So I'll keep your bed warm for you lover," she said in a tone too syrupy sweet to be taken seriously.
Dom threw her a distracted glance while he made his way to the door. "Yeah. Whatever." Then he left without so much as a nod to the girl he had so recently taken repeatedly and passionately in his bedroom.
He walked quickly down the block eager to see his friend but also giving him time to think of what to say. Writing letters is one thing but translating that into everyday, post-incarceration chit-chat sounded like a challenge. Plus, he knew that she was grieving no matter how hard she'd try to shake it off. He needed to be there for her but he was afraid that after so much time and with all that happened he wouldn't know how.
He could see her more clearly now. She was taking bags out of the trunk and lining them up on the driveway, presumably to take them inside. She hadn't noticed him yet walking down the street towards her even though he was making no particular effort to be quiet. She seemed completely lost in her own tumultuous thoughts to worry about hearing an old friend coming to welcome her home in the middle of the night.
As he got closer to her he noticed that she was still clad all in back. She had on a long black dress that hung loosely on her and her head and shoulders were down even though she appeared to be standing as tall as her petite frame could stretch. His heart broke seeing such unveiled sadness radiating from her. This was not how he imagined seeing her again. All he could do was stand there staring at his old friend. This is what it meant to come home and even in her misery, her beautiful strength was still like a punch in the gut.
Her hair was tied back and blowing softly in the wind. It was a little shorter than he remembered, more sophisticated. He was thankful for that because it allowed him to see her face fully. Maybe it was the grown-up things she was being forced to do but she seemed so much older than her nineteen years. He had thought she was pretty even before he landed himself in prison but the woman standing before him was more than he could have ever expected from a few years of growing up. She still had the same smooth skin and hard, seasoned features but always with that soft edge that would never convince him that she was the complete bad-ass that she liked to portray. Her eyes seemed to glow even at the angle he was viewing her from. He thought it could have been from tears but he knew that glint in her bold, brown eyes from the many times that he had had them turned in his direction.
She still hadn't noticed him even though he was already to the edge of the driveway. That worried him because Letty had always had such good instincts. But then again, it was the middle of the night and she had just returned from burying the last of her immediate family. Well, it was the last of her family by blood because he and Mia and the boys weren't going anywhere from this point forward. He looked at her take the last of the bags out of the trunk before slamming it shut and closing the door to the small garage. She stood there, bathed in moonlight for a full minute looking down at the cargo she had just lined up. He wondered what was in those bags that was causing her so much stress.
Finally she heaved a huge sigh of resignation and bent to pick up the half-empty bag closest to her. It was then that she looked up towards the driveway and noticed Dom standing there quite content to simply watch her all night long. He smiled sheepishly at her in that cute way that always made her stomach flip. She was surprised yet somewhat pleased to feel that two years hadn't dulled that effect he had on her. And he looked damn good too. The bald head and extra muscles fit him perfectly and it didn't help that he was still standing there with that with that hot-shit grin on his face. This had been one of the most awful weeks of her life, second only to losing CJ but damn if he didn't make it all better somehow.
"Hey," he uttered quietly not wanting to stir the charged air between them too much.
"Hey yourself," she challenged tilting her head to the side so that it caught the wind again and blew around her shoulders. Her expression had changed completely upon seeing him again in the flesh. Where there had been sadness, there was now delight. It was so profound how one person could elicit that reaction by just standing there existing.
There were so many emotions flowing between them that it was hard for them to think of the next thing to say or do. It had been so long since they had spoken 2 words to each other--but it felt like no time had passed at all. They were still two kids who grew up together, who loved and mourned the same great brother and who had helped each other through some of the darkest days of their lives. Would things be awkward between them now that they were older and presumably wiser? Had things changed too much for them to be close; were they too adult now for such childish allegiances?
Dom was the first to act. He took several long strides towards her and enveloped her in his arms as if they were the only two people in the universe. He held her so tightly, the palm of his large hand on the back of her head and his other arm wrapped around her shoulder. He smiled when he felt her return the embrace just as solidly. There was relief and gratitude and warmth pouring from them. It was welcome back, comforting support and simple friendship all rolled into one. There was even a hint of their mutual desire. Whether it was from times past or a reaction to seeing each other as their new and more mature selves fueling their passion was something they weren't in the space to dissect at the moment.
They stood that way for long moments. Seconds stretched to minutes and the moon seemed to spotlight the two friends as the warm breeze rushed over them. Dom passed his fingers through her hair, pleasantly surprised that all those memories he relied on weren't wrong. He could feel her strong hands holding him, occasionally running her thumbs against the thin material of his shirt and sending chills down his back. Little Letty was in his arms again and it felt absolutely right. Home hadn't felt quite right until this moment when he had her in his embrace. Along with Mia, she was his rock--and he was hers.
He wasn't so lost in the moment that he couldn't feel her tears silently soaking his t-shirt. For a moment he felt like such an idiot for not sensing her shift in mood but he got over it quickly and focused on giving her some peace. You couldn't even tell she was crying from the expression on the young face that was exposed to the night. Her eyes were closed but even without those revealing orbs, you could still feel her sadness. He kissed the top of her head in a comforting gesture and rocked her ever so gently in his arms. She always thought she had to be so strong. But it was always him with whom she let her guard down. It was somehow comforting to see another, more pleasant thing that hadn't changed.
In that moment, Dom grieved with her for everything she had lost. She was closing the door on a huge part of her life and while Letty would always persevere, seeing her childhood end right in front of his eyes was difficult. Even when he was at his worst, Dom knew Letty and CJ had loved their father. And like CJ, there was nothing and no one that could replace that kind of family. In many ways, Mia and Dom were better than anything she had in terms of real family since CJ died. But it was different. There was no reconciliation with Letty and her father. There was no final revelation of love and endearment. There was only the end. Although she would always be Letty Torres, she would never be the same.
He didn't know if she was weeping over seeing him again or whether it was a delayed reaction to the grief that would have overwhelmed any normal person. But not his Letty. She was no ordinary girl. No, "woman." She was a woman right now from the feel of her ripened curves to the the respect that she commanded even as she cried on his shoulder. All he knew was that she was sharing a bit of herself with him and especially after all the time they had lost together, he wasn't going to let that slip through his fingers.
So Dom held her and whispered assurances softly in her hear. He stroked her head and let his hands sooth her tense muscles, trying hard not to think about the soft skin beneath his fingers. The eager woman he had hooked up with only a few moments before was forgotten. His homecoming party, still raging a few yards away was forgotten. His worries about rebuilding his life were forgotten. Lompoc was forgotten. Maybe it was the emotional intensity of being back home or maybe her feelings were spilling over into him but whatever was between them was strong and throbbing and neither was willing to let go. There was only their souls melting into each other and they could have stayed that way forever.
Talk about getting caught up in the moment.
They finally pulled away from each other slowly and reluctantly but having gotten something completely necessary from the intimate embrace that they hadn't even known they needed. Letty reached up to wipe her eyes still spilling over with tears but Dom caught her hand in mid-air and held it in his. With his other hand he cupped her cheek wiping away the tear that had fallen. Now able to get a good look at her face, he was mesmerized by her strong, steady stare, still gleaming with unshed tears. He couldn't seem to let go of her all the way, preferring to caress her face and hold her loosely around the waist.
There was no denying their connection. They had barely said 2 words to each other yet they had fallen so far, so fast. But they didn't need words. So much had already been said before and it all came rushing back in those few moments when they connected on a level far deeper than either was ready to admit. Sure they knew they would be happy to see each other. But neither of them had expected it to be like this so the fear and shock were starting to settle in--not enough for them to let go of each other but enough for them not to take things any further. The timing was terrible.
Letty brought the corner of her lips up in a semi-smile and Dom couldn't help but smile back at her. He let her go, letting his hand slide down her arm in reassurance. The moment had passed and it was time to get on with their lives.
Dom looked at the bags lining the garage door a few feet away. "So you need a hand?"
Her smile broke into a bona fide grin and she nodded. They both grabbed a few bags and dropped them off inside her door. Even before he had gone away, he hadn't been inside that house in a long while. It was as uninviting as ever, shrouded in darkness and silence. He didn't like the idea of Letty staying in there by herself.
But he knew she wouldn't go back to his house where the party was still going strong. She wasn't ready for all of that life and he didn't blame her. Nor did he trust himself to be alone with her. That meant that he would go back to the party alone to reconnect with girls who painted themselves all over him and she would stay there alone and brave so she could start getting on with her life. They'd have other chances and tomorrow was tomorrow.