A/N- Don't own.
Spoilers- None
Length- Much longer then it should have been lol.
Names and Meanings- Not mine, taken from a site.
Katy Perry Hot N' Cold- Not mine but made for C/B! Seriously, check it out.
So I finally got this done. The plot is basically the same except 2.11 isn't taken into account. The Van der Bass' are living in Serena's childhood home too, the one Lily redecorated in season 1. The Humphreys and Blair decided to break tradition and go to the VdB party. R&R. Don't hold back from telling me what you think either.
"So...This is nice."
Seven pairs of eyes turned and glared at Serena who wilted.
"Sorry." Jenny repeated again.
"It's not your fault Jenny." Nate put his arm around her, ignoring the evil look that Dan sent him.
Chuck let out an incredulous laugh.
"What?" Nate snapped.
"We're locked in a closet on Thanksgiving, Nathaniel. How is it possibly not her fault?"
"Sorry!" Jenny wailed.
"No you know what, Nate's right." Vanessa nodded, "If anything it's Blair's."
"And how do you work that one out Punky Brewster?" Chuck said mockingly.
"Well if she hadn't purposely spilled her drink all over my dress, I wouldn't be in here right now." Vanessa glared.
"Sweetie I was doing you a favor. Trust me." Blair eyed the multi-colored monstrosity with disdain.
"No, you see to do that I'd have to be brain damaged."
"What's the problem then?" Blair replied innocently.
"Guys!" Serena sighed, "This isn't helping."
"I trust Blair." Jenny piped up.
"You do?" Six voices chorused.
"Uh huh," Jenny nodded. "You can always trust Blair to do the right thing. Well, the right thing for Blair at least."
"Funny Little J." Blair snapped. "Tell me again why I'm helping you?"
"Because even though you pretend otherwise, you actually like me." Jenny replied confidently, smiling at her former mentor.
"I wouldn't count on it." Blair snorted.
"Yeah neither would I." Nate muttered under his breath.
"You know what, this is just great. I'm stuck in a stuffy closet, surrounded by hundreds of dresses, and I can't stand three of the six other people in here." Dan sighed.
"I wouldn't worry," Blair remarked.
"Why? You found a way to get us out?" Dan asked hopefully.
"No, because four of the people in here can't stand you either."
Chuck smirked, "Not bad Waldorf, you really don't get enough credit for your wit."
"And you get too much credit for your--"
"Blair!" Serena cried.
Blair rolled her eyes. "I was going to say schemes."
"Sure you were."
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Three hours earlier-
"Say what you like about Lily but she really can throw a good dinner party." Blair remarked, looking around at the packed apartment.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment or an insult." Serena frowned.
"With Blair it's one and the same." Chuck smirked, coming up behind them.
"Bass." Blair greeted, biting back a smile.
"Waldorf, and to what do we owe the pleasure? You usually spend Thanksgiving with the family."
"Daddy and Roman couldn't make it, Dorota's visiting her sister and if I had stayed in that apartment with Mom and Cyrus I would have thrown up." Blair gagged. "They were rubbing noses."
"Aww, that's so sweet. In a creepy... older parent kind of way." Serena fawned.
"And that's why you get stuck with the loser, dead-end boyfriends." Blair informed her.
"I thought you liked Aaron?"
"No, my Mom and Cyrus think I like Aaron. There's a difference."
"Is there anyone you do actually like?" Serena asked amused.
"Carey Grant, but apparently he has a six month waiting list." Blair deadpanned, "You invited Rufus Humphrey?"
"What is Brooklyn Boy doing here?" Chuck demanded, his eyes going in the same direction as Blair's.
"And that troll Vanessa!"
"Guys be nice. Mom invited the Humphreys. Dan must have brought Vanessa as a guest." Serena shrugged, craning her neck across the room in search of Aaron.
"Because God forbid he should actually manage to get a date." Blair muttered, her glare fixated on the back of Vanessa's head.
Chuck met her eye and smirked, together they moved as one across the room with Blair only pausing to pick up a glass of champagne on their way.
"And besides, you don't even have to- Guys?" Serena spun around, "Oh no."
"Dan, Vanessa." Blair gave them both fake smiles. "So lovely to see you both."
"Nice to umm.... see you too Blair." Dan raised his eyebrows. "Chuck. Happy Thanksgiving."
"Cut the crap Humphrey. What are you doing here?" Chuck snapped.
"We were invited. Check the guest list." Vanessa cut in.
"Well consider yourselves vetoed." Blair said brightly.
"I don't think so." Vanessa said, "Come on Dan. Let's move somewhere where the air is less toxic."
"Attending a party so that you can spy on your ex-boyfriend reeks of desperation you know." Blair called after her.
Vanessa stopped and turned around. "And you would know all about desperation, wouldn't you Blair? You really haven't had much luck with boyfriends, maybe there's a reason."
Blair glared. Moving purposefully she strode forward until she was in Vanessa's face. "You're in my world now V. We play by my rules." With that she tipped her still full glass down Vanessa's front. "Oops."
"Blair seriously," Serena shook her head disapprovingly, having only just witnessed the last event. Turning to Vanessa she said; "I'm sure I have a dress that'll fit you."
"Thanks." Vanessa replied, giving Blair a dark look before following the blond and dragging a Dan along behind her.
"Waldorf what was she talking about?" Chuck asked quietly.
"It doesn't matter." Blair said furiously.
"Bla-"
She glared at him. "Enough. I have to get those two out of here. Are you in or not?"
"You have to ask?" He smirked.
"Hey Blair I saw Vanessa with Serena. Is she okay?" Nate asked, coming up behind them with Jenny on his arm.
"She won't be when I get through with her." Blair followed the direction they had taken with Chuck, Jenny and Nate on her heels.
"Where are we going again?" Nate asked.
"We, that is Blair and I, are going to de-louse the building of Brooklyn nobodies." Chuck said coldly, he looked Jenny over, "Present company included."
"She can stay." Blair interrupted. "I set up a meeting between her and my Mom's investors. They should be here in about an hour."
"Are they really going to want to interview me on Thanksgiving?" Jenny frowned.
Blair gave her a grudging smile. "Watch and learn Little J, most business deals in the UES are done on public holidays."
"That doesn't make any sense."
"Think about it. If you were at a party where all or most of your would be colleagues were drinking, what would you do?"
"Well I would stay sober so that I would have the upper hand."
"Exactly. And if a fifteen year old Brooklyner can figure that out you can be sure that everyone at this party knows the same. Therefore nobody drinks and everyone thinks they have the upper hand, allowing them to think more confidently, therefore decreasing the risk of them turning down your proposal." Blair said briskly, as they approached the door to Serena's room.
"Shouldn't we knock first if Vanessa's getting changed?" Nate asked pointedly.
Blair ignored him and walked straight into the room and pushed open the door to Serena's walk in closet, completely ignoring Dan who was sitting on the bed.
"Blair what now?"
"What are you doing here?" Blair demanded of Vanessa.
"I told you. We were invited." She replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
"No, not at the party. Here, as in this house, this city, this world. Why are you here?"
"Blair what are you talking about?"
"You've said it yourself. You hate this world and everything about it. You came back here because you wanted to be with Dan. He wasn't interested. So why are you still here?" Blair asked.
"You know what Blair, I don't have to explain myself to you." Vanessa tried to walk past her but Chuck, Nate and Dan blocked her way. "Move."
"V." Nate tried.
"Don't. Just, don't." She shook her head.
"Guys come on. It's Thanksgiving." Jenny tried, letting the closet door close shut behind her. Click.
"No Jenny don't! Tell me that wasn't what I think it was." Serena put her head in her hands.
"What?" Jenny asked.
"That door sticks. It automatically locks itself. Someone's coming to fix it next week." Serena slumped down on one of the closet walls.
"You mean we're stuck in here!" Blair cried. "No! I refuse to be locked in a closet with Humpty Dumpty and his little friend."
"Well it's nothing new for Serena. To be locked in a closet with Dan and his little friend I mean." Chuck smirked.
"Eww!" Blair cried. "Must you be so vulgar?"
"Oh drop the innocent act B, those of us who know you don't buy it." Chuck replied.
"Does anyone have a phone?" Nate interrupted.
Everyone searched their pockets.
"Mines in my purse in the hall." Jenny shrugged.
"Jacket pocket." Nate and Dan replied in unison. They looked at each other uneasily.
"Dresser table." Serena sighed.
"At home." Vanessa supplied.
"Serena's room." Blair said.
"Well luckily for us I keep mine on me at all times. Blair can vouch for that." Chuck smirked when she glared
"Except that it's Thanksgiving. Everyone has their phone switched off." Dan sighed.
"Even Gossip Girl doesn't blog." Jenny said.
"Ring one of our phones." Serena suggested. "Someone could hear it and come looking.
Chuck pressed number three on speedial. Katy Perry's Hot N' Cold came blaring out from the next room.
"I'm number three!" Blair shrieked.
"Hot N' Cold?" He countered.
She flushed, "The lines 'PMS like a bitch reminded me of you'." She said nastily.
"...Aren't the next lines, 'I would know?'" Dan asked.
"Shut up Cedric." Blair ordered.
"When we want your opinion we'll whistle." Chuck nodded.
"Number three?" Blair repeated.
"Of course," Chuck looked unapologetic. "My PI is number two, and as for number one..." He smirked.
"I think we'll all be better off not knowing." Nate rolled his eyes.
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Present-
"At least the closet is pretty big." Jenny said, leaning into Nate's chest.
"Yeah you know what, it is. So why don't you move south a little bit?" Dan suggested.
"Why is it so big? My kitchen is almost the same size as this one room." Vanessa changed the subject, trying her level best not to look over at Nate and Jenny.
"Because Mom knows me well." Serena laughed, "I'm a hoarder."
"Or a whore, either one is good." Chuck muttered under his breath causing Blair, who was sitting beside him, to giggle.
"I keep everything," Serena continued, ignoring them. "I think I even have old birthday cards in here somewhere." She looked around.
"Hang on, you say you keep everything..." Chuck said slowly, getting to his feet and looking around some of Serena's shelves.
"PBN Serena?" Blair asked hopefully.
Chuck looked at her and smirked, holding up a bottle of vodka.
"Wait where did you find that? And what does PBN mean?" Serena asked.
"Pre-Brooklyn-Nobody Serena." Blair clarified, expertly unscrewing the top and downing a mouthful. Everyone except Chuck looked at her in shock. "What? If I'm going to be spending the night in a closet with two of my ex-boyfriends, and the Brooklyn Bunch then I am not doing it sober." With that she took another gulp and held out the bottle for someone to take.
"Likewise." Dan sighed, taking the bottle.
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One hour later-
"Ooh,ooh! I found my mom's old baby name book!" Serena giggled excitedly. "It even has meanings."
"Okay, so what does Nathaniel mean?" Nate asked, looking amusedly at the slightly drunk blond.
"Hold on- Ah ha! It means," Serena laughed. "God has given."
"Any chance we can return the gift?" Chuck asked slyly.
"Oh, and what does yours mean oh great one." Nate said sarcastically, grabbing the book out of Serena's hand.
"Umm, Charles means army or warrior." Nate nodded a few seconds later.
"Do me." Blair shrugged.
"Anytime." Chuck replied.
She hit him.
"Ow Waldorf."
"Oh my God you won't believe this." Nate chuckled.
"What?" Blair asked suspiciously.
"Blair, is from a Scottish surname meaning 'Battlefield'."
"Well that figures." Vanessa rolled her eyes.
"See! You two are meant to be together!" Serena clapped happily.
She received two unappreciative glares in response.
"What about Jenny. What does that mean?" Jenny asked.
"You mean Jennifer." Dan corrected, grinning at his little sister who huffed.
"Well it originates from Guinevere. It means 'white, fair'. Apparently Guinevere was King Arthur's beautiful wife." Nate smiled up at her before wincing as he read the rest. "And then she cheated on him with his best friend Sir Lancelot."
"Are you sure that wasn't Blair's?" Dan asked skeptically.
"Or Nate's." Blair countered, standing up and moving towards the door with a card in her hand.
"Well Vanessa is a form of butterfly, Daniel means 'God is my judge' -"
"So therefore he is free to judge everybody else." Chuck said.
"-And Serena means 'tranquil and serene'. Okay, not what I would have used to describe Serena Van der Woodson."
"Would anyone?" Chuck scoffed.
"Okay what is your problem!?" Nate turned on his former best-friend.
"My problem Archibald?"
"Yeah, you've been sitting there making snide comments all night. If you've got something to say then say it."
"I think it's better for everyone if I keep my opinions to myself." Chuck said levelly, though with a hint of malice.
"Ah ha!" Blair cried from the doorway. "I got the door open!"
"Yay!" Jenny said, getting up and hurrying out of the closet.
Vanessa and Dan followed.
"How did you manage to do that?" Serena asked.
Blair shrugged happily. "Turns out Platinum cards do have some use after they expire. I jimmied the lock." With that she pushed Serena out of the room and locked the door behind herself, shutting Chuck and Nate alone in the closet.
"Waldorf what the hell?" Chuck said angrily.
"You two need to sort out your issues." Blair replied, "Try not to kill each other before I get a chance to."
The sounds of banging and swearing at them to let them out faded as they re-entered the party.
"Blair, the investors?" Jenny asked hopefully.
"Follow me." Blair said distractedly while texting on her phone.
Chuck's phone bleeped a few seconds later as he and Nate sat in stony silence. He couldn't help but smile at the text.
THE MAID WILL LET YOU OUT IN AN HOUR. U KNOW U'LL THANK ME LATER.
OH AND FYI, IF I'M NOT AT LEAST NO.2 ON UR SPEEDIAL BY 2MORRO UR DEAD.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Xxx-B
"Well..." Nate said awkwardly, "It seems the only way they're letting us out of here is if we talk so... What's up?"
Chuck shook his head and laughed. "Remind me again why we're fighting?"
"We're both idiots who are lucky to have someone like Blair to point out our many faults?" Nate grinned.
"Oh yes, however could I forget."