Disclaimer: We do not own, nor claim to own anything that is from the wonderful imagination of Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: (Bold is Allie talking...) Yupp…This is BENches (Ben…). Waves (Allie) (Don't ask why he calls me that... it's a long story. It's cool though; I call him Sushi.) and I decided that, well, this story is very sad. I mean, Edward is gone, and the Cullens are falling apart. So, as a sort of treat for you to read, as it was a treat for us to write, we kind of made this chapter more on the comical side. Because, Esme Forbid, we drown our audience in tears and sorrow…
However this is, unfortunately, one of the last happy chapters. Trust me, starting with Chapter 6, you'll wish we were as happy as we were in Chapter 1 (Yes, it's that sad). I nearly cried while writing Chapter 6. And I never cry when I write. I have a feeling that not many of you will be happy with us when this story ends... It's going to end on a cliffhanger and a total of four characters will have died. (I won't say who, though. ;) ) But I can't stress this enough: There Will Be A Sequel That Explains Everything. Anyway. Read and review for a preview of Chapter 6. And trust me; you'll want one. :)
What He Would Have Wanted
By: cALLIEfornia BENches
I awoke in the morning to a bright sun illuminating the insides of my eyelids, turning them a bright red. I internally debated whether I should open them or just keep pretending I was asleep so I didn't have to talk to anyone today. It's not like they wouldn't know I was awake, but I found that recently if I pretended, they generally got the idea that I didn't feel like talking—or being talked to for that matter.
With my eyes still snapped shut, I began to stretch ever so slightly. I didn't realize I was so sore until this very moment; every muscle welcomed the small amount of attention they were receiving. I yawned out loud. My voice was as raspy as ever.
After a few minutes of debate, I opened my eyes. Immediately, the bright light from my window stung my eyes, and just as quickly, I shut them. After a few brief moments of squinting, I adjusted.
Of course I felt empty today, as I had the past few days, but this time it was slightly different. I sat up in the bed and tried to figure out what felt out of place. Aside from the ache in my chest—which, as much as it hurt, I had started to grow accustomed to—there was something else. Something deep in my stomach. It grumbled, greeting me.
Hunger, I realized. I needed something hot and filling.
It had been so long since hunger was on my mind, I had forgotten what it felt like. I closed my eyes and lay back down on the bed, waiting for myself to fully wake up before I had to go downstairs. The constant grumbling my stomach sounded from within finally drove me off the bed in a groan. I shuffled down stairs in a haze, with a nice omelet being the only goal I had in days.
Do they even have food here?
Probably not. Who needs food in a coven full of vampires?
Bella, that's who.
I knew I would have to mentally prepare myself for the pity fest I was sure I was going to star in as soon as I walked down those stairs. I was so sick of pity. Pity got me nowhere; it wouldn't bring Edward back, and all it did was evoke horrible emotions and make me upset again. I wasn't a charity case for the emotionally unstable.
And to be honest, I don't know how much more of it I could take. I was ready to snap.
No, Bella, you have to calm down. We can't go yelling at anyone that is trying to make you feel better.
Like I did with Carmen last night.
I pinched the bridge of my nose before immediately dropping it again—it reminded me too much of Edward.
I felt so bad for getting mad at Carmen. Although, now that I think about it, she probably deserved it to a certain extent. And, really, she probably wasn't even that mad. She looked more surprised that I had said anything at all, rather than what I said. I didn't stay long enough for her full reaction, but I knew a look of surprise when I saw one.
With a sigh, I heaved myself up from the bed and trudged over to the door, turning its old brass knob and stepping into the hallway. The wood floors were cold beneath my bare feet, and I silently wondered when I had changed into my pajamas last night. The stairs creaked softly under my feet as I padded my way down the stairs and towards the kitchen. It seemed almost eerily quiet, almost as if I was alone in the house. I inwardly rejoiced that I wouldn't have to worry about people trying to talk to me. All I really wanted was more time to be by myself, without people watching over me like a sick puppy.
Or worse, like a lunatic about to crack. I had a feeling they had a straitjacket and a padded room waiting for me, just in case. The thought left my hands clenching into fists. Why couldn't they just return to how things were? It's bad enough I'm screwing everything up. They don't need to keep reminding me with their cautious glances.
Goodness, you've been very testy lately, Bells.
Shut up!
I wished, for once, that someone would get mad at me. I wanted someone to scream and yell and tell me what a horrible person I was; how I was driving everyone away. I was hurting everyone I had any sort of contact with: I got Edward kidnapped by the Volturi, Jasper couldn't handle being around my emotions, which in turn made Alice leave, Carlisle wasn't functioning correctly because Edward was gone, and Esme had yet to look me dead in the eye since the airplane.
Why couldn't someone realize that I needed to be sent away? I deserved to be punished, not coddled. I needed to be punished for the forthcoming death of an invincible. They should send me back home with Charlie, where I belong. I shouldn't be here, around vampires that I'm practically knocking off one by one.
Charlie. I hadn't really had to heart to think of him ever since I gained a decent amount of composure. In the instant that he was in danger, I dropped all things aside, and without regard toward my father, I fled. No doubt there was perhaps a search party looking for me and brittle papers flooding street poles with my face and the words "Have you Seen Me?" etched on top. But oddly, I wasn't in such distress at my escape from all that I knew. There was nothing for me in the tiny town. If I did indeed choose to go back now, I would simply be a nuisance. I was better off here, scourging for food in a house full of vampires.
All the same, I wondered where everyone had gone off to. I hadn't even seen Emmett or Rosalie, yet, though I doubt Rosalie would be able to look me in the face after what I've done. Maybe I should count on Rosalie to get angry with me. At least she would know how to deal with me properly. She would understand the horrible things I've done.
The loud gurgling of my stomach tore me from my thoughts, and I wandered through the foyer, trying to see if anyone was around. Sooner than I would have liked, I got my answer.
Across from me, perched on an old-fashioned polished grand piano, stood a woman idly pacing from side to side. Her red, strawberry hair cascaded over her face, she began to gently running her long fingers over the top of the shiny keys, as if fighting with herself to play. With each step from side to side, her hips sashayed gracefully and accentuated her every move. She was as beautiful as any vampire I saw nowadays. I was very certain, however, that my ordinary appearance would have felt more so if my mood wasn't so permanently foul. Her frail and pale fingers glided their way over the sparkling keys slowly, creating a dance between herself and the instrument.
This had to be Tanya.
He posture seemed off for a vampire. The straight agile figure and observant rigid-ness I had seen with the others weren't even seen in her body. Instead, she was slumped. Only then had I realized a soft murmuring, or sob, emitting through her throat.
If I had been thinking clearly, I would have stopped and admired how stunningly pretty this particular vampire was. She was seconded only to Rosalie herself. I felt like the "before" picture on Extreme Makeover. I'm sure my hair was a knotted mess, and my flannel pajamas were still somewhat askew from the night's sleep. I hadn't looked in a mirror, but judging by the skin I could see, it was deathly pale—paler than any vampire. And the fact that I hadn't eaten much of anything at all in nearly four days probably made me look thinner and more sickly than normal. I knew my eyes were bloodshot and my cheeks had a too-rosy tint from the flare of emotions I had started feeling.
But all the sudden, I was infuriated. And it wasn't because of her looks. Anyone with eyes could see that she was "mourning" Edward's death. I scoffed out loud. Like staring at a piano I'm sure he once played would make a difference. Like staring at something could bring him back. If that were the case, he would have come back days ago.
My scoff caught her attention and she looked over to me, smiling sadly. I had no idea what my face looked like, but I'm sure it wasn't happy. I wouldn't have been surprised if it was contorted into a weird mask of fury.
"You must be Bella," she said quietly. "I'm Tanya."
Obviously, I thought, rolling my eyes. I blinked furiously a few times; my eyes weren't used to so much activity. Fury I didn't know I had in me rose quickly to the surface and bubbled in my throat, resulting in what sounded to me like a barely audible growl. I had to keep myself in check. I had to put my emotionless mask back on before someone hears another growl.
But of course Tanya heard it.
Stupid vampire hearing.
She gave me a shocked look and took a step towards me. I took a step back, not wanting to be breathing the same air she was. All I wanted to do was run at her and pummel her to the ground.
"I won't hurt you, Bella."
Duh, I thought, Like I'm worried about that.
"I just thought you'd want to talk," she said, taking a step back and sitting on the piano bench, running a hand lightly over it and, I'm sure, watching her own reflection in the shiny polish. Her eyes held a glassy stare, like she had been crying earlier and her mouth was slightly ajar, as if anticipating a case of the sniffles. When I didn't respond, she added, "You and I have a lot in common."
No, we don't, I thought adamantly.
"He came here so many times. The first, of course, he was still somewhat of a newborn. He came here with Carlisle. I knew he was going to be special since the first time I laid eyes on him. But they didn't stay long—just passing through, they said. They only stayed a few years, so I didn't get as good of a chance as I'd have liked to get to know him. He was always off training and hunting with Carlisle. He was hardly ever here.
"Aside from the occasional vacation, we didn't really see him again until just about a year ago, when he came up here to get away from you, of all people." She let out a low chuckle. Earlier, when Carmen had brought this up, I had thought it humorous. Now, it only made me want to wring Tanya's neck that much more. She was really getting on my last nerve. "I really fell for him, then. He was so compassionate and loving, I didn't understand why you wouldn't want him around."
I squeezed my eyes shut. Violence is not the answer, I repeated like a mantra in my head. I tried everything I could think of to get this violent feeling to dissipate, but it wouldn't go away. I counted to ten. It only gave me ten more seconds to fantasize of how I could tear her apart and set her on fire without anyone noticing. I took a few deep breaths, but then was disgusted with myself for breathing in her air.
I opened my eyes again and attempted to force a smile on my face, but am pretty sure I only managed to contort it into an ever stranger expression. I relaxed my face slightly.
Tanya looked up at me again, "I really loved him, you know."
That's it.
"Excuse me?! YOU loved him?!" I shouted. After not talking for so long, my voice sounded funny in my ears. "Do you have any idea what love is? ANY idea?" I didn't wait for her to respond. "I don't think you do. You have no idea what it's like to lose someone you actually love. I haven't been able to move or talk for the past four days. And what are you up here doing? Stroking that goddamn piano like looking at something he once touched will bring him back. Well newsflash, Tanya, he's gone. Gone. Gone as in he's not ever coming back.!" Her jaw dropped open at my sudden angst towards her, and she stilled on the spot.
"You know what I don't understand? You're what, three thousand and seven?" I had no idea how old she really was, but I didn't bother asking. "What I don't understand is how someone so old could be so dense. Not only did you just compare my love for Edward to your... your...," I stuttered while trying to figure out the right word for it, "your desperate infatuation with him, but then you had the nerve to tell me, of all people, that you were in love with him?! I think not.
"I wouldn't wish the pain I've felt for the past few days on anyone's life, not even your pathetic excuse for an existence, but for one moment, for just one tiny second, I wish there was a word strong enough to convey the pain I've been barely surviving through these past few days. I wish there was a way I could explain how much pain I've been going through. Then maybe, just maybe, if you could get it through your thick skull and into your empty head, you would understand that comparing what you feel to what I feel? It's beyond ridiculous." I didn't know when, but my voice had risen so loud that my throat had started to hurt.
I folded my arms across my chest and opened my mouth to speak again, but she cut me off. "How dare you talk to me that way! I've been through a lot in my days. I've witnessed much more than your virgin little eyes could even start to imagine."
"That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that you don't know what love is. It's pathetic that you've been overplaying this so much. You don't miss Edward. You miss the thought of what never would-have-been with him. So shut your trap."
Tanya glared at me while a lion of triumph roared in my head.
"How could he have ever fallen for a bitch like her?" she muttered under her breath, but still audible enough for human ears such as my own.
Oh, hell no. She. Did. Not!!
Before I could register what I was doing, my leg muscled were bunching and I was leaping towards her. I hadn't gotten half a foot before two iron hands secured themselves around my upper arms, restraining me. I tried to fight free from—I turned to see who was holding me back—I tried to fight free from Esme's grasp, but, curse her vampire strength, it was a lost cause. I would have growled there in her arms, spasms shooting through my body as a way to escape, had I not realized how stupid I would have looked.
"Bella, calm down," her soothing voice cooed.
"Let me go!" I shouted, "Let me at her!" That strawberry bitch was going down.
Tanya snorted and folded her arms over her chest, a smug look covering that twisted face of hers.
"Aren't you hungry, Bella? You haven't eaten much of anything in days," Esme said, trying to distract me.
Yes, I'm hungry, but there are more important things to take care of. Such as the overdramatic vampire standing in front of me, pretending to be in love with my love. Mine, I thought with a glare in her direction.
I struggled again to release myself from Esme's grasp, thinking that I might be able to catch her by surprise, but I failed miserably.
"Please, Bella. How about we just go to the kitchen and I make you an omelet or something?"
Omelet, a voice in my head sang, happily. The hungry part.
It was immediately pushed away. The only food I wanted right now was some strawberry. Strawberry-haired vampire.
I was still fuming, but I calmed down nonetheless so Esme would let me go. When she did, I pounced for Tanya again. This time, though, Esme didn't hold me back.
I felt like a bystander, watching the next moments play out as if I was a football referee looking to make a next call, watching the slow motion replay. I started towards Tanya and braced myself for the impact, but instead of hitting her, I collided with Esme's short frame. What happened next, I'm still not exactly sure. Esme either stumbled, lost her footing, or something of the sort, and fell backwards into Tanya.
Tanya fell in an even slower motion. So slow that, as her body weight crushed the piano, I could see the wood shatter piece by piece. The jarring noise that rang throughout the house brought everything back to real time. I had to cover my ears to keep my eardrums from shattering into a million pieces.
The next thing I knew, Esme was standing next to me, her hands clasped over her mouth in shock. Tanya sat in the remnants of the piano for a few seconds, her face clearly pissed, before standing and staring at the shattered wood that was beneath her. The house seemed eerily quiet now that the clanging of the piano strings breaking had stopped.
I couldn't help it. For the first time in what felt like years, I started laughing. And I couldn't stop. I was laughing so hard I had to clench my hands around my stomach—for a completely different reason, now. Not to hold my self together from falling apart without Edward, but to hold my sides together to keep them from splitting at my laughter.
I had finally gotten my way, well sort of. There was no other dead vampire. Just a bewildered woman sitting carelessly on a pile that once was a piano. All the pent up frustration and anger I had was temporarily ceased, and I had placed it somewhere else. The whole situation was silly, I knew. But did I care? Not really.
A look at Esme told me she was trying hard not to laugh as well, her hand conveniently placed over her mouth with her shoulders shaking.
I was on the floor now, nearly rolling around in laughter. I never thought it possible for someone to actually ROFL. I always just thought it was stupid internet lingo. But no, I was actually on the floor, laughing. Laughing so hard, in fact, tears were now piling up in my eyes and spilling over onto my cheeks. I wasn't even sure what I was laughing at. It could have been Tanya's overdramatic act right before, or the look on her face right now, as she stared hopelessly at the crushed piano she idolized moments before.
She must have had a thing with staring. This wasn't the first time I caught her staring at something so hard, it was almost as though she were wishing it to come back to life. When would she learn that she was just wasting her time? Still, it was somewhat entertaining for me to watch. For me to stare at her, staring at something.
The thought made me laugh harder. I think I was just laughing now because it felt too good to laugh after so many months of being depressed. Nevertheless, it felt great. I could practically feel the endorphins releasing into my system.
More vampires had come in to so what all the commotion was about. Now Carmen, Eleazar, and Kate were all in the room with us, looking puzzled. I could imagine how weird this situation looked to them; a piano lay in unfixable pieces just before two vampires, one pissed, and one trying not to laugh, and then there was the crazy human, who, as long as they had known her had been mourning and sulking, was now rolling on the floor in laughter. I could see how this could be somewhat confusing.
I swear, I could hear the soft chuckle of velvet bells ringing in my head. But all I knew was that the laughter was not of my own. It rung in my ears like a beautiful melody, like the piano had regained its last notice of life and played a celebratory song.
Was he back again?
Wherever he was, I loved him. More than anything. Enough to laugh on this floor. Good enough to push Tanya at a piano. And enough to admit I wouldn't live even half a life without him.
I love you, Edward. I hadn't said those words in my moment of contemplation since a long time ago.
I could hear Esme muttering under her breath, no doubt explaining to the others what happened. Realizing that my reaction was probably not exactly appropriate, I attempted to compose myself and stood up, stuttering my words as I carefully let out a chuckled breath.
"I think I'd like that omelet now, Esme."
A/N: So… did you like it? I hope you don't get mad that we trashed a piano. It just had to be done. :) Also, Waves and I are considering another story of some sort. So we posted a poll up concerning the genre of aforementioned story. All we can tell you now is that it's going to be WAY different than this story. But you should vote for your favorite choice. We might need beta readers for it too. (Key word 'might') We already have the first chapter done!
What else? OH! So if you want to make Waves' day (and mine)… start recommending this story to your fan peeps. We really want to get this story out there, get more reviews, more favorites… the works. Just any way to get this wordplay out would be fantastic.
We love you all and we'll try and post chapter 6 on Tuesday. I warn you though, it gets VERY SAD! (Told yah. P.s. he wrote this before I added my comments. Haha.) Until Tuesday,
-mALLIEbu BENefits