A/N: A long chapter, i know, but i didn't think i'd make friends if i split the ending in two parts. here is the final chapter, enjoy.
Chapter 21:
Chuck and Sarah sat in the chairs of the sparsely furnished waiting room, doing just that. Casey had entered through the locked doors alone and Chuck was sure any moment now he would have to cross the half dozen steps it took from his seat to that place of no return.
Until then, they had the place to themselves.
The silence was so prolonged the tiny room felt endless. Chuck sighed and looked down at the woman sitting beside him. Her posture was so rigid and still he might have mistaken her for a statue.
"You heard everything, didn't you?" he asked. She had greeted him outside the interrogation room with glistening eyes and a mixed look of relief and apprehension. Casey had prevented them from discussing the matter immediately, but he wasn't here to stop them now.
She nodded.
"Then you should know that there's only you," he said, putting his arm around her. She eased a little but her face was still etched with lines of worry. "I'll never trust another brunette again," he swore. He'd learned his lesson.
Sarah didn't take to the joke the way he thought she would. "The way you said it…it was so final," she said. "Like you'll never see her again, never allow her into your heart."
Chuck leaned closer, wondering if he was hard of hearing. "That's good…right?"
Sarah's lips pressed tightly together as she forced on a brave face. "I lied to you, Chuck," she said. "I told you I quit my job and I didn't. I didn't tell you about Bryce when I should have, about Jill, about the people we brought down…" Chuck began to panic when he saw fat tears well in Sarah's brilliant eyes.
"Sarah," he sighed, wondering how a woman so intelligent could sometimes be so silly. "You had your reasons. How could you compare yourself to Jill?" He cradled her face in his hands, making sure she was looking him straight in the eye.
"I don't know what I would do if you said that to me," she whispered. "I can't even imagine—"
Chuck stopped her there. "Don't," he warned, in the same tone she had used on him. "You never have to." He kissed her, capturing her lips ever so gently with his. Since his return, he found he was losing himself deeper and deeper to her with each day that passed. She was like drug he couldn't live without, her presence alone—
"Have some respect, Bartowski!" Chuck jumped back, tearing away from the embrace only to find Casey hovering over them. "Don't you realize where you are?"
Being scolded was bad enough but hearing it from Casey made Chuck feel like he was a child again, and the experience was unsettling.
He looked speechlessly at Sarah who wore an entirely different expression. If only looks could kill, the darkness behind her eyes would have Casey on the ground squirming in agony.
"Okay, is it my turn?" he asked, doing the man a favor by breaking the unspoken tension.
Casey grunted. He looked as if he might have enjoyed pushing Sarah's buttons a little further. "Come on. She wants all of us."
Chuck gulped. She?
_
When Casey informed that his superior was a she, Chuck's first thought was Camille. Long-legged, lethal Camille with her smoldering eyes and terribly sharp nails. On cue his palms began to sweat and he wobbled shakily into the guarded room.
The woman behind the desk was nothing like he'd imagined however. She was tiny, half his height, and her features were nearly grandmotherly though he would never dare admit it. He couldn't imagine how this woman could boss Casey around when the man looked like he could snap her in two, but then again, Chuck didn't read people very well.
"Take a seat, Mr. Bartowski," she said, and offered up the only seat other seat in her office besides her own. Chuck stepped obediently forwards only to realize that the seat was already occupied.
"Hey, Chuck."
Chuck sighed. He was never going to exorcise this man from his life. "Hey, Bryce," he said, unable to keep the defeat from entering his voice.
Chuck watched as the man relinquished the armchair and walked over to the side, to the wall Casey and Sarah were already standing against.
He held his breath in apprehension as he saw Bryce place a hand on Sarah's shoulder. She said something under her breath, and he removed the offending limb as if he'd just placed it on hot coals. Something passed between them, a look that Chuck recognized from the night Bryce first re-entered their lives, but her piercing gaze held nothing more than a warning.
Chuck sighed in relief and took his seat.
The little old woman sat down across from him, the back of her chair rising high over her head. The seat looked like it could swallow her whole.
"Now then, Mr. Bartowski," she began, placing her clasped hands out in front of her. "I would like to start off by thanking you for your work."
Chuck frowned, not sure what she was referring to really. His eyes darted down to the engraved plate sitting at the end of her desk. D. Beckman.
"Mrs. Beckman—" Chuck stopped himself as he heard a grating cough from Casey's end of the room. "Miss Beckman?" he said in a quiet voice.
The older woman sitting across from him narrowed her eyes.
"Director Beckman?" He gritted his teeth, fearing the consequences that would soon befall him.
"Your point, please," she said curtly.
"Right, that. I'm not really sure what work you are referring to you, see, because I haven't done anything as of yet…"
Beckman gave a tight-lipped smile, augmenting the effect of all her wrinkles.
"Agent Larkin has written a very detailed report on everything you've reported. I've had my men look into it and thus far, we are very pleased with the progress."
Chuck gulped. He was sure the woman was speaking in pure euphemisms now.
"Now, what else can you tell me?"
Chuck blinked. "I'm sorry?"
"The documents that Camille had you look through were very sensitive in nature. You've given us a lot to go on," she said, speaking slowly for his sake. "If you remember anything else, anything at all, it would be instrumental in bringing down their organization."
It took a moment for her words to sink in. He swallowed slowly and stared at her small, wizened face.
"Okay."
"Good." Beckman smiled a little wider this time. "So, what can you tell me?"
Chuck turned to Sarah and she offered him an encouraging nod. He gulped again and closed his eyes, making sure he still had it.
"Chuck?" the woman prompted.
Chuck took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how he felt about confessing his biggest secret, but if Sarah thought it was okay…
"Everything. I can tell you everything." He laughed nervously because he wasn't sure if she believed him. "I know it's strange, it's still strange for me too…" He paused and held out his hands, as if there was some way for him to show her what he meant. "But if I focus really hard and try to recall what I saw, I can see them right in front of me." He looked down at his open palms and like pages from a book; he could picture the documents as if he were holding them. "That's weird, right?"
Beckman frowned but she didn't look like she doubted him for a minute.
"There are many things you don't understand, Chuck, and perhaps it's for the best we don't get into it," she said after some consideration. "You are not like the others; let us put it that way."
Chuck was reminded of the way his mother used to speak to him when he was little and the last thing he needed was for a complete stranger to take him for a trip down memory lane.
"I don't understand," he said flatly.
"When you first held sensitive information in your memory, it was impulsive and you had no way of retrieving the data. You had to rely on a trigger." Beckman sighed, and Chuck understood her reluctance. He had those memories removed for a reason; perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to be reminded. "Over time your brain evolved so that you could trigger those memories on your own.
"Based on Agent Larkin's report, it appears you were once again exposed to the type of program that implanted the data into your memory the first time. I can only assume that you've recalled your former skill and capacity unbeknownst to yourself."
Chuck frowned. "So I have a photographic memory?" That would have been useful ten years ago in Stanford.
"Not exactly. You are…" she struggled for the word. "Not like the others."
Chuck looked behind him at the three familiars standing against the wall. Sarah smiled at him, looking no different than before. He couldn't believe she loved him for all his weirdness.
"So Chuck," Beckman said, drawing back his attention. "Will you tell us what you know?"
Chuck gulped. "What happens afterwards? Are you going to wipe my memories again?" At the thought, his spine grew rigid with fear and he felt every muscle in his body tense. Chuck couldn't accept it. Not after all this, this torture of not knowing.
Beckman's eyes clouded with annoyance. "We will discuss that later."
"No." No more. He wanted them, all of them, even the things he'd rather not know; he just couldn't live in the dark again. "Now."
Chuck gripped onto the edge of the table, seconds from standing up and walking out the door. He was certainly not going to let go of his bargaining chip before they gave him an answer.
"These memories are staying here," he said, pointing to his head. "I promise I won't think about the files. I can't see them unless I want to, and I won't look at them again. You can trust me on that."
Chuck saw a glimmer of what Casey might have to fear in the old woman's eyes. She had the gaze of a predator, a look that warned she always got what she wanted—one way or another.
"Might I remind you, Mr. Bartowski, that it was never our intention to remove your memories the first time," she informed. "You made the decision for yourself and insisted."
"Oh." Chuck looked down, feeling a little sheepish. Right, he should have known.
"I would be happy to refer you to our agency's neurologist—" Beckman paused, a hint of a smile on her face. "But that is something we will have to discuss at a later time." The old woman slipped on a pair of thick-rimmed reading glasses, losing all the severity of her composure in that one single act. "If you cooperate, Mr. Bartowski, I might even be able to convince the doctor to give you a staff discount."
Chuck laughed nervously. Had Beckman just made a joke?
"Please," the old woman implored, returning to her former state. "Tell us what you know."
"Don't worry," Casey growled with just a smidgeon of sarcasm. "We have all day."
"You sure?" Chuck asked, glancing his way. "Because I wouldn't want you to miss your afternoon matinee."
Casey's eyes bulged and Chuck swore if he hadn't been sitting so close to the man's superior, he would have been torn to pieces.
_
Chuck told Beckman everything he knew, speaking as if he were reading off the pages themselves. The tiny woman scribbled notes and the tape-recorder took down everything else. Beckman wasn't satisfied with the summary he'd given Bryce, she wanted everything, every minute detail down to the mustard stain on page fifty of folder twenty-one.
The tiny woman seemed to lap up the information, hungrily searching his eyes for more. None of it meant anything to Chuck; they were just coordinates, schematics and lists of names. He had no idea it would be so important, never thought Camille would allow him access to things so vital.
But that was precisely it, wasn't it? No one expected him to know, to understand, what any of it meant. Information was just random data until someone decided to do something with it; and Chuck never had any intention.
Hours passed and by the end of it, his throat felt like two pieces of sandpaper rubbing against each other and he had a splitting headache.
"I'm sorry," he said, collapsing against the back of the chair. "I need a break."
Beckman sighed and put down her pen but she seemed to understand. "That's fine. Step outside and get a drink. We'll reconvene again in fifteen." Her words were crisp and to the point.
Chuck stood up on shaky legs, but no one moved to follow him. He looked to Sarah in question but she shook her head.
"Let's continue," Beckman said behind him. The three individuals against the wall stood to attention. "Is there a problem, Mr. Bartowski?" she asked, peering over her reading glasses.
"No," Chuck said with a shake of his head. He wasn't sure how the others did it, but they looked as if they'd just entered the room and not been standing for the last five odd hours.
Casey narrowed his eyes and a growl escaped his throat.
"No, Ma'am," Chuck corrected and quickly left the room. He could tell Beckman had plans that didn't involve him and he was more than happy to wait outside where he was free of the old woman's razor sharp eyes.
_
After some time, the doors to her office opened again and Bryce stepped out.
"Are you guys done?" Chuck asked, offering the man a bottle of water.
Bryce took it and downed half the container in one go. "Almost," he said inbetween gulps. "We're just wrapping up. She wants you back in."
"Okay." Chuck stood up and straightened his suit. "Hey, Bryce?"
Bryce stopped to regard him.
"That day in the deli. What you said…was it true?" He saw the gears in Bryce's head begin to jog back to that first exchange between them. "Were we friends?"
Despite all his efforts, he couldn't hide the truth from Chuck. He swallowed with difficulty, clearing his throat even though there was nothing wrong with his voice.
"I'd like to be." His face twitched as if someone had just struck him. "You were my best friend, Chuck."
The confession came as a shock. Bryce Larkin was supposed to be all confidence and fearlessness. There were many adjectives to describe the agent, brave, handsome, charming—but certainly not vulnerable.
"Right," Chuck said, letting his voice trail off. It was disarming to see his friend in a whole new light.
"I'd still like us to be friends," the man ventured.
Chuck nodded slowly. It had to be lonely to be Bryce Larkin. All the allure and excitement of living a double-life didn't compare to the lies and alienation. Chuck had only a taste of it these last few weeks and it was a bitter pill to swallow.
He was so glad he had a home to return to, a family to depend on, and a woman he loved and trusted to call his wife.
Don't be a jerk. You've already lost a friend today, don't lose another.
Chuck nodded slowly, showing him an encouraging smile. "Yeah. Friends."
_
It was another six hours before Beckman decided to end the day. Chuck knew if she had her way that they and the others would have continued on for as long as it took to purge Chuck's mind in its entirety but he was only human, and a frail human at that.
Close to midnight Chuck found words escape him and the images that had once come so easily to mind begin to fade.
"I'm sorry," he said, and turned his palms upwards. He had given her as much as he could. Any more and he might become a vegetable.
"That's fine," Beckman said crisply, then with a smile added: "There's still tomorrow."
And the day after. And the day after. As long as it took for him to tell them everything he knew.
"Get some sleep. See you at oh-six-hundred." The little old woman waved at the people standing silently behind Chuck. "Dismissed."
Chuck rolled his eyes. How generous of the general. In another few hours he would get to do this all over again.
As he pried his weary body out of the chair, he caught Sarah smile and offer her hand. She looked completely unaffected by the draining monotony that must have come with standing all day in the office and instead greeted him as if she was just getting ready to start her day.
"You okay?" she asked, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. Her eyes were bright with wakefulness and her smile was as brilliant as the morning sun. Chuck only nodded his head; it was just so unfair.
"Oh and Agent Walker—" Beckman removed her reading glasses and gazed up at the pair.
Chuck and Sarah stopped in mid-stride. Casey and Bryce exited the room without even a second glance and they were soon alone with the woman.
"Yes?" The brevity to Sarah's reply was so slight Chuck didn't think Beckman would have noticed but he saw through all her other tells; the way her eyes darkened to a stormy blue, the sudden tension in her grip, the way she gnawed on a corner of her lip.
"Think about what I said."
Sarah shook her head. "There's nothing to think about, Ma'am," she insisted and turned back to face the door.
"I won't be making the offer again so I suggest you take some time to think your decision through."
Chuck gulped. He didn't know who to be more afraid of. Both women were speaking in the politest of tenses but there was more to their bluff. Any second now one of them was going to reveal their hand and Chuck couldn't see a solution where he wasn't caught in the middle.
"She will, Ma'am. Thank you." Chuck pulled on Sarah's hand and they left the room before the blond could speak her mind.
Sarah shot him a look of annoyance once they were in the hallway. "I won't," she said. "I've already made up my mind."
Chuck just smiled as they walked side by side; the tap of her heels matching in perfect tempo with the beat of his dress shoes. "She's right. You might change your mind." He gave her a playful nudge. "How would you feel if you just said no to the winning lottery ticket?"
Sarah nudged him back twice as hard, digging her elbow into his ribs. "It won't be. And even if it were, that's just too bad."
"Sarah—"
"Chuck." Chuck knew the tone all too well but he couldn't keep from shaking his head. Her stubbornness was something else.
"Fine," he acquiesced with a slow smile. He only hoped she remembered he had a persistence to match. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he drew her close; close enough to whisper into her ear.
"Do you really think she'll be good on her word?"
Sarah tensed and her brows furrowed just so. "Yes," she said slowly, sneaking a peek over her shoulder. They were alone in the spotless hallway.
"Are you sure?" Chuck asked softly. "Because I remember what you told me…about before. About the last time I had secrets stuck in my head."
Sarah's arms drew around his torso, and she rested her head against his shoulder. Tangled in each other's limbs they were an awkward sight but Chuck wouldn't have it any other way.
"I know, but it won't be the same," she whispered.
"No," he agreed. "It's much worse because I don't remember anything this time and I still have secrets stuck in my head."
She shook her head. "But if we catch them and take them down, they wouldn't be secrets anymore, would they?" She kissed him tenderly and had Casey been in the vicinity, it would have surely been enough to deserve a reprimand.
Chuck's fingers dove into Sarah's soft blond tresses, ruining the careful arrangement that had withstood the long day and night. "I'm not leaving you again," he said. He couldn't lose his memories a second time; never—ever—again.
Sarah stared into his eyes, blue pools tinged with ripples of sadness. The corners of her lips wavered on the edge between a smile and a frown, but slowly…surely…they turned upwards; victorious.
"Oh, Chuck," she said, shaking her head for emphasis. "You couldn't if you tried."
_
It was very late or rather early, depending on the perspective, by the time Chuck and Sarah returned to their hotel room. Wordlessly Chuck tugged off his tie, shrugged off his jacket and threw his shoes into a corner of the room. With a groan, he collapsed onto the neatly made bed, causing an avalanche of pillows to fall to the ground.
Behind him, Sarah suppressed a laugh as she removed her heels and earrings, putting everything neatly away.
"I need a shower," she announced, beginning the arduous task of taking apart the tiny buttons on her blouse. She grinned, baring the tips of her canines in a purely predatory manner. "Care to join me?"
Chuck grinned like a fool. "Sarah," he called and held out his hand. Reluctantly she stepped out of the bright bathroom light and into the muted bedroom shade. "Are you sure?" he asked, interlocking his fingers with hers.
"About a shower?" she asked, arching her brows. "Pretty sure."
Chuck shook his head, knowing full well she was dodging. "About the offer."
"That again." Sarah's smile fell and she sat down on the mattress beside him, letting her legs dangle over the edge. "Yeah," she said. "I'm sure."
"Because I don't want to hold you back." He pinned the stray strands of hair behind her ear so he had a full view of her face. "What Beckman offered, that's huge. Casey and Bryce were practically drooling when she said she wanted to put you in charge of the tactical team."
Sarah lowered her eyes, looking like she was a thousand miles from where they were. "They can have it," she said with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders.
Chuck was not so easily convinced. "I know this means a lot to you. You've probably worked your whole life for this."
She drew in a sharp breath and sighed. When she clutched his hand, her fingers were ice cold.
"I don't want you to look back and regret this for the rest of your life. If you need to do this, then do it. I'll wait." Chuck didn't know what was wrong with him, but nothing he said seemed right. Sarah's eyes glistened with tears as she looked ruefully up at him. "Life with me can be boring, I know. That's why you took the analyst job."
She winced at his accusation. "No," she said, swallowing hard. "Yes…maybe at first I missed it," she confessed. "I thought it was what I needed. I didn't think I could do normal. But when you weren't there, I hated it. Every moment of it." She wrapped her arms tightly around his chest. "You are what I need."
The words drenched over Chuck like hot fudge; so warm and undeniably sweet.
"No regrets?"
She shook her head without hesitation. "None. I don't think I can handle any more excitement in my life, Chuck. It nearly killed me." She kissed him, even now trembling with nerves. "I don't think I've ever wanted normalcy so badly my whole life."
Chuck laughed softly into her ear. "You think you can handle being just normal?"
"I want us to live out the rest of our ordinary lives in peace and quiet. Just us." She kissed him again, a little surer of herself. "Just two regular people working their regular jobs."
"You won't be bored?" he asked, looking dubious.
She arched her brow at him. "Normal is not boring," she informed with a slow smile. Without warning, she pushed him down flat on the bed. "I think you need to be taught a lesson, Mr. Bartowski," she said as she slid against him, pinning him underneath her.
"Really?" Chuck gasped, feeling suddenly breathless.
"Really," she confirmed as she captured his mouth with hers. Third time was the charm and her kiss was fierce with desire.
Chuck looked up at her, bewildered. There were still moments when he wondered how he managed to convince a woman as amazing as her to stay with a bumbling fool like him. He'd never know though, Sarah would kill him for asking.
Chuck was so overcome with emotion he was sure he was sporting the goofiest grin on his face.
God. It was a wonder how Sarah could keep such a straight face. It wasn't just her attentive expression either, it was her eyes. Chuck didn't know there could be such depth to blue, but there they were, endless azures, pure enough for him to dive into.
He could read her emotions as if they were his own, and he wondered if she knew that he felt the very same if not more.
Chuck initiated the kiss this time, wary not to drown in her embrace just yet. But when they broke free, he was still breathless, gasping for air. Sarah grinned like the cat that got the cream, smug as ever.
"Now, Chuck," she said, arching her brows. "I'm going to show you what a normal wife does for her husband. And believe me, it will be anything but boring."
.
The End.
I realize this might not be the ending you, my lovely readers, would have wanted but after a lot of consideration, this was the only one that satisfied me. No, not everything is explained in the end but i'm sure you can guess and i decided against an epilogue cause we all know how well that worked out last time. anyway, i really hope the ending didn't ruin the story for you.
I just wanted to say, because i'm sure i don't say it enough, that i'm blown away by the support here on this site. Thank you for providing me with your feedback, it's really the most rewarding part of writing. I haven't been here very long and I still can't believe people actually want to read my work. every time i tell myself that i'm done with writing i get a msg and somehow find myself suckered in all over again.
it's been fun. until next time--
malamoo.