Episode 27: Cherski's Choice
Wordcount: app. 5000
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sharon is late and worries what to do, so Angela helps her out; causing some misunderstandings. Rayanne gets interested in several new things, while Brian has a new interest of his own. Camille and Patty discuss Angela and Patty's argument. The restaurant is almost ready to open up.
[Cherski's place]
Sharon VO: "Today it's been a little over two weeks ago since Kyle and I had unsafe sex. According to my normal cycle, I should have gotten my period, like, yesterday. The stress is driving me nuts! My boobs look bigger, my belly is bloated and I feel nauseous like, all day long! Or does it only *look* like my boobs are bigger, and my belly is bloated? And maybe I'm just feeling nauseous because of the stress?
I have the feeling everybody is like, staring at me, knowing what's wrong with me.
I seriously don't know what to do anymore, or who to tell. Is it too soon to buy a pregnancy-test? But then what; what if I *am* pregnant? Do I really want to know…?"
Grunting, Sharon gathers her books, stuffs them in her bag and barges out of her room, down the stairs. "Bye, mom, I'm leaving for school!"
"Honey? You didn't even have breakfast yet!" Camille comes running out of the kitchen.
"I don't have time, mom, sorry. I'll see you this afternoon." As Sharon walks through the door, she catches the sight of Jordan Catalano's car pulling up in front of the Chase's house. Angela and Jordan must be like seriously in love, 'cause there hasn't gone by a single day during the past week she *didn't* see him pick Angela up.
[Mr Katimski's classroom]
"Gee whiz! Check out this latest copy of our very own 'Liberty school-paper'!" Mr Katimski is handing out the school-paper to every student in his class. "Of course, this issue features a special on the um, play we did recently, a little production called… um, 'Our Town'…"
"Woohoo!" Raising her fist in the air, Rayanne hollers.
"Yes, Rayanne Graff, the play was a big hit, thanks to your acting, amongst others, gee whiz…" Mr Katimski takes back his seat in front of the class.
Most of the students start to look through their copies of the paper. Flipping through the pages, Rayanne stumbles upon a picture of herself on the stage, breathtakingly gorgeous. Feeling caught in some way, she looks around edgy all of a sudden; like the way she looks in that picture is private or something. It's like she is meant to be seen this way by *one* person alone. Staring back at her is not just any picture of herself; it clearly displays the feelings of the eye of the beholder. Looking up to see if anyone else has reached that page yet, Rayanne catches Angela's surprised look.
"Rayanne…" Angela is stumped for words.
"Yeah, I know Angela, like, you know, that Krakow can sure take a picture, right?" Rayanne can't find the words to express herself. She feels the need to defend herself even, like it's *her* fault Brian took this picture. Like it's *her* fault he obviously looks at her in this way. She has nothing to do with it, it's not like she encouraged him, or anything. Yeah, like, afterwards she may have, but she wouldn't have if she knew… this.
"Brian captured your *soul*, Rayanne, he truly did. You were amazing that night, and his camera recorded that. You were, like, pure, and deep; and it was like, you lowered your fences and showed your inner self. But you still managed to look so… mysterious and untouchable." Angela can't get over how many emotions are present in this picture, displayed on Rayanne's face. Would Brian even be aware of it? Was it, like, a lucky shot, or is there more to it than meets the eye?
"Wow, and you like, *just* thought that up?" Rayanne raises her eyebrow.
"I guess I did. Don't know where that came from, weird…"
Mr Katimski walks up to Rayanne's table. "Umm, Miss Graff, can we maybe um, talk, after class?"
"Whatever, as long as it's nothing serious…" Rayanne shifts in her seat.
"No, no, no, more like, the opposite!" Nodding at Rayanne, Mr Katimski continues to wander through the classroom, pointing out things in the school-paper, and talking to his students enthusiastically.
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After a while the bell rings, everybody but Rayanne takes off. Climbing on top of her table and folding her legs, Rayanne nervously eyes Mr Katimski. "So, what's up, Mr K?"
"Have you ever considered, like, making a career out of acting? I mean, gee whiz, have you got any idea how talented you are? It's not too soon to think about what you want to be, you know, when you're like supposed to be grown up." Mr Katimski waves his hands around as to shoo away the invisible flies he sees.
"Me? Talented? You're kidding, right?! Jeez, I don't really know like, what I wanna be. I just thought, you know, I'd never be able to like, go and study somewhere. I'm not that bright or anything, I guess."
"Do you know, Rayanne, that there are schools where they teach you how to act? And um, never call yourself dumb." Mr Katimski raises his index-finger at Rayanne. "I'm sure if you would um, attend some classes, you'd amaze yourself."
"So, this, like, acting-school, is it like that school in 'Fame'? And umm, do you need like a high-school-diploma for it?"
"It is indeed like that school um… from 'Fame'. And you sure do need a um… diploma to get in there, Miss Graff, you sure do. If you'd like, I would be happy to collect some brochures."
"Yeah, that sounds like, cool, I guess. So, can I like, go now?" Rayanne can't wait to tell her friends she's found her *goal* in life; becoming an actress!
"Yes, Miss Graff, you are excused!"
Grabbing a lollipop from her bag; Rayanne dashes off.
Outside of the classroom Rickie is hanging around, waiting for her. "Hey, so, like, what did Mr Katimski want from you?"
Rayanne takes the lollipop from her mouth. "Oh, you like, waited for me! Well… it seems Mr K thinks I would like, make a good actress or something. And did you know that there are like, *schools* where they teach you that?"
"Oh, that's great! I mean, you *seriously* rocked the play, so I couldn't agree more! But I already knew that there are schools for it; I kinda assumed maybe you like, knew too."
"Duh! If I *knew*, I would have like, known what to do with my life like, *ages* ago! Can you imagine a school where they like teach you how to act and stuff? Doing nothing but fun stuff all day long, singing, dancing…" Rayanne starts to sing and twirl around.
"Rayanne, it's not just like, fun all the time, you know? I'm sure you like, have to learn something besides singing and acting." Wondering about it; Rickie's face frowns. School is like, school, so it can't be like all fun, all the time. Or can it?
"Hey, maybe you could like, come along with me, you know? You can learn how to paint decors, and I'm sure there are like, many available gay men in a place like that…" Rayanne raises her eyebrows in a meaningful gesture.
Rickie flushes instantly. "Picking a school should have like, nothing to do with how many potential lovers I could have over there." A smile spreads across his face. "But you're right, Rayanne. A place like that has gotta be like, *swarming* with sensitive, alternative gay guys." He can just picture it and his eyes are glowing hopefully.
"Duh! So, you and me, drama school it is!" Rayanne holds up her lollipop like a superhero holds out his sword.
[Cherski's place]
"Camille! Where are you?" Patty just walked in the backdoor of the Cherski's.
"Patty? I'm coming down, wait…" Coming down the stairs, Camille greets Patty. "Hello neighbour. So, is Angela still mad at you?"
"Yes, she is. Although *mad* isn't the correct term, I suppose. She's still *ignoring* me. Whenever she wants something, she asks Graham instead. It's like I don't even exist anymore!"
"Have you tried talking to her?" Camille rubs Patty's shoulder.
"Yes, I have, but she just doesn't respond. It's hopeless, you know?"
"She'll turn around, you know teens, right? Can I get you a cup of coffee?" Camille guides the way into the kitchen.
"Yes, please. And tell me, was I *really* that wrong?" Patty follows her.
Pouring them two cups of coffee and putting them on the table, Camille takes a seat next to Patty.
"I wouldn't call it wrong, but part of me understands why Angela is still upset. Don't get me wrong, I would probably have done the exact same thing, but that doesn't make it *right* in her eyes, I guess."
"Well, I had a right to know what happened, didn't I?" The outline of the coffee-cup is being traced absent-mindedly by Patty's fingers.
"Yes, you did, and you still do. She's *your* daughter, for God's sake! You have a right to know where she hangs out, and who she hangs out with. Especially when it involves someone like Rayanne Graff, with that bad reputation of hers…"
"Exactly! Thank you for understanding! Any sane person would worry about their kid hanging out with Rayanne Graff!"
"But… in Angela's defence: she's a smart kid, you know? She has never let you down, or betrayed your trust, has she? She has always made smart calls when it comes to bad things. She doesn't follow her friends on their road to destruction. She doesn't drink, do drugs, or sleep around. She calls you when her friends are in trouble, without thinking twice of the consequences. I do think she deserves your trust, Patty. She has proven to you she has earned it."
"I guess you're right, Camille. I just never looked at her that way. Thanks, for making me feel so bad for distrusting my own daughter."
"I'm not attacking you, Patty. Just appreciate how Angela is; let it sink in for a moment. Sure, she has distanced herself from you, but don't all normal kids do that, during puberty? Didn't you do the exact same thing, during your puberty??"
"Oh boy, did I ever! Maybe that's the reason why I want to stay in control over Angela's life, because I'm worried she will treat me the same way I treated my mother."
After taking a few sips from her coffee, Camille continues. "If you try to stay in control over her, you will only push her farther away. Plus, you can't really compare the two of you, Patty. You had your adoption-issues to deal with as well. No wonder you resisted your mother!"
"That's true. And as far as I know, Angela's not adopted. I mean, I was there when she was born…! Although, with all the drugs they gave me you can never be too sure, ofcourse."
"Jeez, tell me about it! They give you enough drugs to sedate an elephant, but you're still in agonizing pain. If only our daughters would just realise what he have been through, bringing them into this world! They just don't appreciate us!"
"I know! It's like we're their personal slaves, forbidden to meddle with their lives, yet forbidden to have a life of our own!"
"Yeah, I know all about it. But Patty, we do have to take a step back from their lives, no matter how hard it is. It's only natural they want to find their own way, and we have to let them, even if that involves making horrible mistakes."
"Camille? Are you and Sharon okay?"
"She still seems so absent-minded; it's like, I can't get through to her. The past few weeks she has closed herself off and won't let me in. She's even hardly around in person. It's so unlike her, you know?!" Camille's face displays her concerns; Sharon has never pushed her away like this before, and it's hard. Like there's something terribly wrong, but she's afraid to tell her.
"She'll come around, Camille, don't worry. She's a teenager too, remember?" Trying to comfort Camille with a smile, Patty lays her hand on Camille's arm.
[Girls restroom]
Sharon VO: "I think my imagination is getting the best of me, or is everybody really staring at me? Staring, because they can all tell I'm late, that I'm carrying a baby inside of my body. Does it show that much already? Or, is like, paranoia one of the side-effects of pregnancy? Or maybe, I'm just going insane, slowly. I don't know which one I prefer though…"
"Sharon?" Angela gives Sharon a worried look as she walks into the girls' restroom. "Are you okay? You seem so pale!"
"Just like, pale? There's nothing else about me that like, seems unusual?" Sharon panics slightly.
"Well, no, nothing besides your unusually large…umm…hair…" Angela tries to evoke her friend a smile.
"Angela! Don't make fun of me! I don't know what to do anymore." Sharon lowers herself to the floor.
"What's wrong, Sharon? Oh, wait, don't tell me… You still didn't get your period?" Angela lowers herself on the floor next to Sharon.
"Yup, I'm officially late. And I don't know what to do." Sharon's eyes start to fill up with tears.
"Oh Shar, it's okay." Angela wraps her arms around Sharon. "Maybe we should get a pregnancy-test, just in case."
"I'm afraid, Angela! I can't raise a baby alone! I can't raise a baby *period*! I'm still in high-school for God's sake!"
"I know, I know. Hey, how about we skip next period, and we buy a test, huh? At least you'll know for sure…"
"You'd do that for me?" Sharon's face is all tear-stained.
Getting up, Angela stretches her hand out to help Sharon up. To swab off the mascara-smudges, Angela wipes her thumbs over Sharon's face. "Ofcourse I'd do that for you! So, let's go." They walk out holding hands.
[At the restaurant place]
Furniture is being delivered; Graham is inside stacking up tables and chairs. Hallie walks in greeting him. "Hello you!"
"Hey Hallie, well, all the furniture is almost inside. Wait till you see how the kitchen looks!" Enthusiastically, Graham guides Hallie towards the kitchen; in a week it has transformed from an empty space to an actual restaurant-kitchen with a cooking island and everything. Glowing with pride, Graham walks around; he can't wait to start some serious cooking here. Even though the furnaces, stoves, pots, pans and cutlery have never been used, he feels right at home.
"Wow! It's so beautiful Graham!" Hallie's hand glides over the shiny metal surfaces, like touching them will add to the feel of awe.
"Yeah, I know. I can't believe we're almost ready to open up, you know?! I can't wait to start cooking in here; to enrich our guest's senses."
"Yeah, I know! Only one week to go!"
"One week…Oh man, there's so much left to do!" For a blissful moment Graham forgot about all the things they still have to take care off before they're ready for business.
"We'll be fine, don't worry! I gave Neill some chores too; isn't it like, great he can help us both now?" Hallie's face lights up at the thought of Neill.
"We need all the help we can get, I know that much." Graham is slightly worried about Hallie assigning his brother tasks; he hopes they're not too important, because Neill has a tendency to let things slip his mind sometimes…
[In a drugstore, near school]
"Should I take this one, or maybe this one's better?" Sharon holds up two boxes with pregnancy-tests.
"Let's see, this one's cheaper, but that one contains *two* tests, so basically it's safer." Angela reads the directions on the boxes. "But, I don't know, it's like, your money, so."
"Why don't they like, just sell *one* kind? How do I know which one is better?"
"Come on, we'll just take this one." Grabbing the box containing two tests, Angela bumps into someone. "Oh, I'm sorry!" The box falls to the floor. Without really looking at it, the other person picks it up from the floor and hands it to her.
"Oh, hey, thanks, umm…"
When she finds out it's Shane's face she's staring into, Angela flushes instantly. Shane's the one with the drumsticks, who plays in the band with Jordan. And he just handed her back a pregnancy-test.
"Oh, it's you, I mean… Hey Shane." She puts a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Hey, Angela, so, how's it going?" Shane hits every possible surface he can with his drumsticks.
"Fine, fine, nothing special going on. So, how are you?" Pressing the pregnancy-test tightly against her chest and crossing her arms in front of it, Angela hopes Shane won't notice what it is.
"You know, just scoring some crisps!" Shane holds up a bag of crisps. "But umm, gotta split, so… see ya!" He takes off in the direction of the cash-register, pays for the crisps and leaves.
"Yeah, see you around." Angela turns around abruptly. "Now that was awkward. I am so hoping he didn't see what he just picked up from the floor for me! What do I tell Jordan?"
"Just tell him, you know, that it wasn't for you."
After paying for the test, they walk out the store, both flustered and quiet, all the way back to school.
[Yearbook room]
Brian is working on some picture layouts, when Delia walks up to him. "Hey Brian."
"Hey," Not interested, Brian continues what he's doing. There was a time he would have been interested in her, but now he can't seem to get Rayanne Graff of his mind.
"So, the pictures you took, you know, from the play, they were like, amazing!" Delia clings to the school-paper in her hands.
"Thanks. Some people are just, you know, like, photogenic." For a brief moment, Brian looks up at her, averting his eyes again swiftly.
"Oh, you mean, like Rayanne Graff! Yeah, well, if you like the slutty type, then I guess she would be like, *photogenic*."
"There's more to her than just being slutty. It's such a shame people only look at the surface."
"Yeah, Brian, that really *is* a shame, because it's what I did too, at first. Until someone told me off. So, I thought to myself: why not give him another chance, right? But as it turns out, you're only interested in dream-girls. The ones you will never have draw your attention. Reach for the stars, right? First Angela, now Rayanne. Boy, you must really *hate* yourself to keep falling for girls who don't even know you exist."
As the emotions wash over her, Delia bites her tongue. She has shown Brian too much of herself already, and wishes she hadn't. Trying to hold on to the last shred of dignity she has left, she walks away. Just outside the door she starts to sob and runs off.
Brian looks up surprised, like he doesn't even realise there was someone in here just now. Previously, Delia's words would have hit him, but now they don't. His mind is focused on someone else; and he doesn't understand why Delia gets all worked up about him. First, she likes him. Then, she ignores him. Now, she tries to talk to him again. Can't she make up her mind, and until that time, let him rest in peace? He doesn't need her charity, or pity. "Girls…"
"What about girls, Krakow?" Silently, Rayanne has walked in the Yearbook room, her fingers resting on the picture layouts Brian is working on.
"Nothing, I mean, this girl… She… Never mind." In his mind the right sentences come out without a problem, but being in the presence of *her*, his mind blocks. His mouth hesitates; the words come out sounding meaningless and infantile.
"Yeah Brian, like, never mind. So, those are some pretty good pictures you like, took. Got any more?" Rayanne's fingers slide over the layouts, coming closer to Brian with every inch.
"Yeah, I've got like *tons*. Wanna see them?" Brian searches his bag for the stack of pictures displaying Rayanne.
"Yeah, I wanna see them, but not like, now. Maybe some other time, you know."
Not knowing whether Brian has her figured out yet, Rayanne tries to come off as cool.
Intrigued he's looking at her, and she doesn't know if this has gone too far again. Messing with his head is fun, it's more fun than she's had in a *long* time. It's like; the reward is higher, or something. It's not just for the kick, or the adrenalin, or even the feeling of being alive. It's something more, something she can't quite grasp. He repulses her, but in a way, he draws her near. She likes his attention a little too much.
"Okay. Just, let me know then. I'll leave them like, in my locker or something." Wanting to get up, Brian realises he'll probably feel even more uncomfortable standing, so staying put seems like the best thing to do.
"Yeah… like, whatever." As mysteriously as she appeared, Rayanne has disappeared again; leaving Brian's head completely messed up.
[After school, in Jordan Catalano's car]
Jordan and Angela are making out, kissing each other deeply and intensely, their hands exploring each others bodies over and under their clothes.
"So, is your dad gonna be out of town any time soon again?" Angela gives Jordan a naughty grin. Making love in his car just isn't all that comfortable.
"Don't know. But like, maybe, you could stay over anyway?" Jordan tucks a strand of hair behind his ear.
"Are you serious? I mean, I just didn't think that would be an option."
"It's not like I ever asked him, or anything. I could like, you know, try." Jordan licks his lips.
"Jordan, I was only kidding. My mom and I still aren't talking to each other, so I can't. I mean, before we are at peace again, I'm afraid to bring up any parties and sleepovers, especially at Rayanne's."
From a distance Jordan's friend Shane is approaching the car. Knocking the door on Jordan's side, he casts Angela a glance, making her panic immediately.
"Hey, man," In an instant Jordan's posture changes. He's still not comfortable being with Angela around his friends.
"Got a minute?" Shane has opened the door and is sticking his head inside.
"Yeah, sure," Jordan gets up and closes the door.
Walking a little further, Shane and Jordan are talking to each other. Shane's head is facing Angela, and Jordan turns around occasionally. His face doesn't display any emotions of surprise or shock.
After a short while, Shane takes off and Jordan walks up to the car. Getting inside, he addresses Angela instantly. "He told me, like, umm, you were buying this like, pregnancy-test…" His eyes are staring at the steering-wheel in his hands.
"Jordan, it's not what you think." Angela flushes. "It's not for *me*, I swear. You have to believe me. I would never lie to you about something like that. It was for my friend, and I just like, went along to support her."
"Okay…"
"Okay? That's all you have to say? So, what are you saying; that you believe me?"
"Yeah, I do," His hand touches her face, his fingers caress her cheek.
"Well, thank you, I guess."
Over and over again, Angela is being astonished by Jordan. It's amazing that someone who has been hurt that deeply; opens up his heart to her so seemingly easy, and *completely*. His eyes show a kind of openness and childishness, directly leading the way to his soul, his heart even. His heart is so pure, despite all the pain he suffered, that Angela's heart swells with love once more. It's as if his faith in her is like the most precious gift he can think of to give to her, without even knowing it. He doesn't even have a clue how eager he is to show her his deepest feelings. Jordan's innocence and expectances move her beyond belief.
"Umm, just like, one question, it's not Graff, is it?" Jordan seems slightly worried.
"No, thank God, it's not Rayanne! I mean, can you imagine the drama if it would be her?! She wouldn't even know who the father is! It could be, like --" Angela wants to say 'anyone', but then reality hits her *so* hard it feels like's she being punched in her stomach.
Slowly, she turns to look at Jordan. "It could be, like, *you*."
Falling silent, the memories she has tucked away deeply rise to the surface again. Imagine, if Rayanne and Jordan had had unprotected sex as well. Rayanne could have been pregnant indeed; with Jordan Catalano's baby.
That thought actually stings like hell, and it's making her want to get away from Jordan; like, this instant. She had forgotten how much he and Rayanne had hurt her. He had enchanted her into seeing only his good sides, but where there's good, there has to be bad, for keeping the balance.
"I'm sorry, Jordan. I think I'm gonna take the bus anyway. I'll see you around." Picking up her backpack, Angela opens up the car-door.
Stopping her, Jordan lays his hand on her arm. Even though she's looking down at it, her brain doesn't seem to register it.
"Angela, I'm sorry. Not just for, like, bringing it up. I mean…" Getting a hold of Angela's chin, Jordan forces her to look at him. "I'm sorry I like, let it happen."
"I know you are Jordan, and it means so much to me you're telling me again. But it happened anyway, and it still hurts to think of it…" Angela's eyes radiate the pain she's feeling. "Bye…" Drawing in her arm from Jordan's grip, Angela climbs out of the car.
"Bye…" Jordan's voice is drenched with pain and regret; his head bangs on the steering wheel several times, displaying his agony.
[After school, Cherski's place]
Having locked herself in the bathroom, Sharon's eyes are fixated on the pregnancy-test in her hands.
Sharon VO: "So, this little test could like, *change* my life forever. Should I like, take the test, or not? It could end my misery, but it could be like, the beginning of a lot of misery as well. I'm not ready for the result yet; but not knowing is like, slowly killing me as well. I've gotta be a big girl about this; I felt big enough to have sex, now I've gotta deal with the consequences of it. I can handle this, I just have to. Maybe the test-result will be negative anyway; and let me get on with my life. I have to do it now, for my sanity."
Taking the test out of its package, Sharon carefully reads the instructions. After a deep breath, she follows the handlings she's supposed to do. When she's done, she paces around the bathroom totally anxious, waiting for the result. Who knew that a few measly minutes could last like, an eternity?! Her eyes keep flicking over to her watch, but it's like the hands of her watch have stopped moving.
Finally the moment has arrived. Sharon's trembling fingers pick the test up from the cup and her eyes take in the result.
She's pregnant. No doubt about it.
Breaking down, Sharon cries her eyes out; her body slumping down to the bathroom-floor. Her life is over before it has begun. The pain and disbelief have taken over her brain, she can't think straight anymore.
A soft knock on the bathroom-door startles her from her misery. "Sharon? It's me, Angela. Are you okay?"
Getting up to let Angela in; Sharon's tear-stained face tells Angela everything she needs to know.
"Oh no, Sharon, I'm so sorry for you…" Wrapping her arms around Sharon's body, they're both sobbing and crying.
After a while Sharon eyes Angela, stuttering through her tears, "I can't – I can't keep this ba-ba-baby, Angela! What should I do?"
"I don't know, Sharon, I really don't." Feeling immensely sorry for Sharon; Angela can't imagine what she would do in a situation like this. She feels bad she can't help her friend out; it's *her* choice after all.
"I think I'm gonna have an abortion; it's like…" Pausing for a moment, Sharon bursts into tears again. After a while the sobbing subsides and she continues, "I have no other choice, do I?"
"Sharon, maybe we like, should ask someone's advice first. Someone who will know what your options are. Like maybe, the guidance councillor, or your doctor or something."
"I already know, Angela. I can have this baby and keep it, letting it ruin my life in the process; hating myself, Kyle *and* this baby for the rest of my pathetic, miserable, unfulfilling and unschooled life. Or, I can have it and give it up for adoption; feeling sorry about my choice for the rest of my life, wondering if it will be okay. Or, I can just have an abortion before it turns into a little human and get on with my life like nothing ever happened."
"Are you sure about this?" Sharon makes it sound so easy; like she has done it a thousand times before. Could *she* ever live with herself, knowing she had bluntly removed the little baby Jordan and she made out of love?!
"I'm positive Angela. I'll call them as soon as possible. But, would you please come with me? When I… you know…?!"
"I'll be there for you, promise."
Totally contradicting the nauseating feelings going through her mind and body, Angela gives her friend a reassuring smile. Even if she can relate a little to Sharon's choice it's still hard to grasp, but this is *her* choice. Realising it's the least she can do, she will support her friend whenever she can.
To be continued…
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