Disclaimer: We do not own, nor claim to own anything that is from the wonderful imagination of Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: I know it seems like we're skipping fast through the story, and in reality, we're nearing the end. Ben and I talked it out the other night, and we've only got about 5 more chapters after this, not including the epilogue/preview into the sequel (which are the same thing). Plus, we're covering everything that needs to be covered. We don't like filler chapters, and like to think that you don't either. Not to mention that we're more excited for the sequel than this story, as we've mentioned. :)
By the way, we're starting this new thing; we're going to start posting the songs we listened to whilst writing each chapter. They'll only be up for a few days (until the next chapter comes out), but they'll be on our profile. :) So check it out.
P.S. Sorry the post is so late. In our own defense, it's about 11:55 pm our time... so it's still Tuesday. Hahaha.
What He Would Have Wanted
By cALLIEfornia BENches
Five Months Later
845,671, 845,672, 845,673, 845,674...
I sighed. Here I was, doing the exact same thing I had been doing five months ago. It was pathetic. But that's how life had been since both Edward and Alice had left us.
It seemed that things had only gotten worse. Everyone had been getting better, slowly recovering and accepting Edward's death, but then everything was thrown off track when Alice was killed. Any progress the Cullen family had made was tossed out the window. Only this time, I wasn't the only one in a zombie-like state. The entire Cullen family had vacated their minds. I was no longer the only one who spent vast amounts of time alone in a room, over-thinking everything.
845,675, 845,676, 845,677...
The bumps bulged out of the ceiling, almost as if begging me to count them next. It reminded me of a sea in the middle of the storm, the way some were taller than others, some a little bleached from age and the sun. Each one slightly different, but in essence every one was the same.
I sighed audibly. That day five months ago had changed everything, though everyone's reaction had been more or less stereotypical.
I had walked in the door, my clothes ripped and torn, missing a few extremities. Needless to say, I had been immediately hounded with questions. Emmett was the first to see me.
"Bella!" he had gasped, staring at the fingers I was holding with both hands. "What happened? Where's Alice? Carlisle!" he shouted up the stairs. "Carlisle, Bella's been hurt!"
I had been in too much of a daze to figure out what was going on around me, let alone acknowledge the night's previous events. My mind was elsewhere. Even my new and improved ability to focus on an infinite number of things at once didn't help when I had just all but witnessed my best friend's death. I had shaken my head to myself.
The entire Cullen family had been buzzing around me. I felt like a solitary statue in the middle of a busy airport. I was the only thing that was staying still in the bustling activity around me; I didn't fit right into the whole scenario as the only still one.
Carlisle had been kneeling to my left, attaching my fingers as well as he could, Esme had been gushing over my already-almost-healed broken leg—the first time she had shown a sincere care for me since our plane ride here so long ago—Emmett was gathering the other vampires and telling them all that he knew so they could be informed for whenever I had the chance to tell my story, and Rosalie was pushing a chair at the back of my knees so I could sit down.
As soon as their actions ceased, everyone had started talking at once.
"Can you wiggle your fingers for me, Bella?"
"Are you okay? Does anything else hurt?"
"Where's Alice?"
"Shh. Everyone sit down so Bella can talk."
"Bella, I need you to try and move your fingers."
I had glanced down at him, my brow furrowing. He looked worried. I had chastised myself for being so difficult. This was Carlisle. Carlisle. The only one that had been tolerating me for the past three months, and here I was treating him like he was just another one of the Cullens that spent their time worrying over me and avoiding any discussion that had anything to do with Edward.
I had blinked at him and wiggled my fingers. It felt a little different, but they worked, so I couldn't complain. I had thanked him without words. I knew the message had gotten across when he nodded and went to sit on the couch.
It had been silent for a few moments while everyone looked around at each other, before all eyes had simultaneously settled on me.
"What happened?" Carlisle had asked in a soft voice, so as not to startle me.
I had taken a deep breath and cleared my throat before I said anything. "Victoria," I said. I had shaken my head and stared at the ground. "It was all my fault. If Alice and I had only switched paths..." I looked up at Carlisle and pretended it was just us in the room. I knew I wouldn't be able to get it all out if I knew everyone else was there. "She was looking for me. Alice got the brunt of her anger."
"Where is she?" Rosalie had asked quietly.
"Victoria?"
"No, Alice. Where's Alice?" she had repeated herself.
I squeezed my eyes shut and hung my head. "Gone. Victoria—" I had choked on my words, "Victoria took her the same way she took Ed—Edward." I had taken a deep, shuddering breath. "It was all my fault," I chanted softly, more to myself than anyone else. "It should have been me. Alice never did anything to her; I did. It was my fault."
Next thing I knew, Carlisle had pulled me to him in a comforting hug. "Don't you say that," he had said, "You know that's not true."
"But it is," I said. "It is." Tears were welling up in my eyes and for the second time that day, I had wanted nothing more than to be able to cry. The entire day had more or less killed me—not in the physical sense, of course, but in the mental sense. All I had wanted was to go up to my room, curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep. But I could neither cry nor sleep.
I had resorted to staring at the ugly shag carpet beneath my feet.
"Can I go?" I had asked in an inhuman whisper.
Carlisle had nodded from the corner of my eye and looked up to the others. "I'm going to take her up to her room. We'll talk about this later."
Later had turned out to be sooner than I had thought. Early the next morning, Rosalie, Emmett and Carlisle had come into my room and found me under the covers, eyes closed, trying as hard as I could to sleep again. I had tuned all the noises, all the smells, all the sights out and simply focused on that feeling I remembered when I was human. That drowsy feeling that overtook my entire body, forcing my eyes to close and my body to relax whether I wanted it to or not.
I hadn't even heard them come in until Carlisle shook me back to reality. "Bella, we need to talk about what happened."
Heaving a great sigh, I had stared at them.
"If it weren't completely necessary, you know we wouldn't do it. We know that you hate reliving bad experiences, and we know you've already had to rehash everything with Edward over and over and over again, but it's important. Jasper's coming next week, and he's going to want to hear the story," Carlisle had explained, sitting on the edge of my bed. "We agreed that it'd be best if you just told us and we could tell him. That way it's not so hard for you."
I had blinked slowly. "Okay. Here's what happened..."
I had proceeded in telling them everything, save for hearing Edward's voice in my head. I preferred that to be my own little secret—not even Carlisle knew that Edward often talked to me whenever I was contemplating something.
The second I had gotten to the part where I saw Alice's hand in flames, both Rosalie and Emmett had jumped to their feet, sending a shocked look over Carlisle's face.
"That bitch should be killed," Emmett had snarled, his eyes blackening in anger. Rosalie simply growled as she turned on her heel and stormed toward the door, Emmett close behind.
"Wait," I had said. "Let me finish."
Emmett had shaken his head at vampire speed. "No, she needs to be killed now."
"She can't."
"And why the hell not?" Rosalie had all but shouted, her hand clutching the door so tightly I could see the wood splintering. Her face had been twisted in a way that no vampire's should be. Even with her stunning features, she was scary. Her teeth were barred in a mean grimace, her eyes glaring at anything in her path. And at that moment, it was me.
"Because I already did." The look on her face had immediately softened, and her eyebrows shot up. Emmett simply blinked twice and cocked his head slightly, confused. They had both sat back down and waited for me to continue.
The story of how I killed Victoria had gone by much smoother. I had found it was easier to talk out of anger, rather than sadness. I got a sense of pride from what I felt I had accomplished as I told the tale. The three vampires had listened intently with no further interruptions.
"So... That's pretty much it," I had finished, rubbing my hand nervously over the back of my neck. Surely, now that they have heard the full story, they would understand how it had all been my fault and could have all been avoided. If I hadn't been here, there wasn't a doubt in my mind that Alice would still be alive—well, existing, anyway.
"Wow," Emmett had breathed, lounging back further into his chair and staring down at his feet that were largely extended in front of him.
"You can say that again," Rosalie agreed.
I had then stolen a glance at Carlisle. He had been frighteningly silent throughout the entire story, not even making a peep when Rosalie and Emmett started freaking out. He had been pensive, to say the least. He was staring, brows furrowed, at a spot between me and the window. I glanced behind me to see what was out there that he kept staring at, but I couldn't see anything. Just the typical snow-covered forest.
"Carlisle?" I had asked.
He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, and looked towards me. "It's going to be okay," he had said, as if I had asked for reassurance. "It'll all be okay." His face had turned blank. It scared me—it was too similar to the face I had seen back when we first left Volterra.
I had stolen a nervous glance at Emmett and Rosalie, and they looked as bewildered as I did. Emmett had shrugged his shoulders and cast his gaze toward the ground.
Ever since then, Carlisle had been somewhat absent. Not physically, of course. Physically, he always stayed near the house, except for when he went to hunt. But mentally, he wasn't there. It was like as soon as I had told him, his mind vacated the premises. It was weird to watch.
But nothing had compared to the reaction that was Jasper's, I thought absently.
He had returned a few weeks later, just as Carlisle had expected, looking for his wife. I could tell he had been hesitant in entering the house—though no one would admit it, we had all known it was because of me. I think he had been afraid of the strength and impact my emotions had on him. I couldn't blame him though—I was a sort of infectious disease with the Cullens. They were dropping around me like flies, now.
I had been in my room, fresh out of the first shower I had had in days. I was too busy wallowing to worry about self-hygiene. My hair had been wet and slick against my neck, some warm drops still dripping down my neck and back. I had just thrown on a pair of sweats and lay down when he came in.
His scent had hit me before his voice had, so I had known he was coming. I had pulled the blanket over my head, dreading what was about to come.
"Alice?" I had heard him call throughout the house.
Esme had whimpered from the other side of the house, no doubt ashamed of the fact that I had more or less killed her daughter, and she was going to be the one to have to tell him.
"Esme?" Jasper had called again, hearing exactly what I had. His footsteps continued from one side of the house to the other, where presumably Esme was. "Esme, where's Alice?"
I had cringed, waiting for what was about to come.
"Gone," Esme had whispered. "She's gone."
Jasper had laughed once, short and curt, as if nothing was really funny at all. "Gone? What do you mean gone? Like she's gone to hunt?" he had asked. "And why do I feel guilt coming from upstairs?"
I had listened, as still and silent as I could be, as Esme had blubbered through the story that Emmett and Rosalie had told her. Jasper was silent through the whole thing, then his footsteps quickly ran up the stairs. Toward my room. I had cringed and pulled the blanket farther over my head, as if that would help him not find me. He could smell me and feel my emotions, that much I was sure. I had known he was coming straight for me, even before he burst through the door, what little color he had filling his cheeks with anger.
"What the hell did you do to my wife?" he had roared. As if of its own volition, the blanket had pulled itself further over my head as he continued. "You killed her!" he shouted. "You killed her, whether you want to believe it or not. Thanks to you, my wife is dead. Dead! And she was immortal, for heaven's sake!" He had scoffed. "It takes a great deal of power to kill an immortal being. You have to almost try to kill one of us. Did you want Alice dead? Is that what you wanted all along? She was nothing but an amazing friend to you, who was there when you cried, when you laughed, everything. And how do you pay her back? You kill her.
"I don't get it, Bella," he had continued as I had pulled the blanket off my face so I could see him. His eyes had been as black as Emmett's had been, and his hands had been pulled into tight fists at his side, as if he had been trying not to hurt me. "You know what it's like to lose the one you love. How dare you do the same to me. It's not fair, Bella. It's not fair at all, and you know it."
"I'm sorry," I had whispered, glancing down at my feet, which I had started rubbing together unconsciously. Before I knew it, Carlisle had appeared in the doorway behind Jasper.
"Why didn't anyone call me? It would have been nice to know that my wife died a few weeks ago," Jasper had fumed, this time directed more to Carlisle than me.
"Jasper, we tried. There was no way to reach you. You left your cell phone here when you left in such a rush. Alice had come to grab it and bring it back to you, but...," he had trailed off.
"It's no excuse. Now Alice is dead, thanks to Bella—"
"Jasper, that's enough."
"What?" he asked, throwing his hands up into the air. "Everyone's been thinking it. I'm just the only one that will voice it out loud. If Bella hadn't been so damn busy wallowing in an ocean of her own pity, Alice wouldn't have worried. If Alice hadn't worried, she never would have taken Bella out and Victoria never would have gotten her. You all know it's Bella's fault. Just because she lost her love doesn't mean she should get off scotch free on killing mine," he had snarled, glaring at me.
"Jasper," Carlisle had interjected sharply. "We need to talk. Now."
"I don't want to talk to anyone, I want Alice back," he had whined, his tone changing completely.
Carlisle wouldn't see any of it, though, and shot him a look. Jasper had glared at him but followed him out of the house and into the forest and out of my earshot nonetheless. I had fallen back onto the pillows as the covers jumped around me under my weight, heaving a great sigh.
I hadn't been able to move. I hadn't been ablet to defend myself. He had been right. He had been right in every sense of ever word he had said. I had killed my best friend. I had been waiting for someone to finally realize that it was me that was hurting everyone; so why did I feel so guilty then, when he was hashing it out at me? I should have been happy that someone yelled at me. That's what I had wanted, right?
No, it had just furthered my thinking in that I needed to leave. And soon.
I didn't know how long I had been laying there, pretending that I could sleep, before I had heard the front door open and two different sets of footprints enter the threshold. One had started up the stairs towards my room, while the other had gone into the kitchen.
Jasper.
I had closed my eyes, awaiting the aftershock that I had known was lurking after his earlier earthquake.
He had knocked twice, quietly, which had surprised me. I had figured he would just stomp in and start yelling again.
"Come in," I said timidly.
He had poked his head in—letting me know it was really him—before fully entering. He had then closed the door behind him and stared down at his shuffling feet before he said anything.
"Bella, I wanted to apologize."
I had furrowed my brows and sat up on my elbows. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You're totally right. I already knew that, as did everyone else. It was stupid of me to think that the others could be tricked any longer."
His eyes had turned sympathetic as he sat on the edge of my bed. "We've got a lot in common, whether you'd like to wish it or not. I always thought I was destroying this family, you know? I felt like such a hassle all the time; I always needed a constant babysitter. They were always so afraid I would lose control at some point and just kill dozens of people.
"They started bickering about it all the time. And when I say all the time, I mean it. Do you remember Rosalie and Emmett's last 'honeymoon'?" he had asked, meeting my gaze for the first time in I didn't even know how long. He held it for maybe a second before he dropped it again. "It was no honeymoon," he said. "The family got into a huge fight. About me, nonetheless. Rosalie and Emmett thought they were babying me. Carlisle and Esme thought it was important to keep an eye on me.
"Alice and Edward were right in the middle. They were just doing what they had been told—looking out for me using their great powers. 'Don't shoot the messengers,' like they say. The two of them stayed out of it. But the fight got so intense that Rosalie and Emmett left. We didn't know how long they'd be gone, or if they were even coming back. It was a horrible feeling, knowing I was the one tearing the family apart," he had told me.
I had blinked at him, then looked down to where he was twisting his fingers around each other. "At least you didn't actually kill them," I had muttered.
"I may as well have. Emmett told me they wouldn't have come back, had Alice not followed them and convinced them to come home."
I had taken a deep breath, taking in all this new information. "I never knew that," I said.
He had nodded. "I apologize for earlier. I was just looking to blame someone else. It's my fault, really. If I hadn't been such a child and stubbornly not put up with your emotions, I could have been here with her."
"It's not your fault, Jasper."
"I could say the same to you."
"You could, but you shouldn't," I had added with a curt laugh. It was relatively funny, the way we both blamed ourselves for something that was, though in part my fault, mostly Victoria's.
Jasper had sighed and lay down on the bed next to me. His eyes had closed and stayed that way for a long time before he had spoken. "It still just doesn't seem like she's gone, you know? I think I'm in denial."
"If it helps, it's been almost four months and I'm still in denial. It's okay." I had glanced over at him as he fully relaxed himself into the bed. "Jasper, I know I'm not your favorite person, but I know it helped me when I started talking to Carlisle. If you need anyone to talk to... Well, I've been through it before. I'm sure I can at least try to help. Sometimes, all it takes is a long conversation about it and you'll feel better."
He had swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down once. "I might take you up on that. But for now, I just need to be alone for a while."
"I understand."
He hadn't made a move to get up, so I had decided it was me who should leave. I'd done a lot of good moping on that bed—it was time I let someone else use it for once.
You're doing a good thing, Edward's voice had told me as I had shut the door behind me.
And I knew he had been right. Even still, I was glad I could abide by the intentions of my love.
845,825, 845,826, 845,827, 845,828...
I focused harder now on the bumps above me. I was thankful for the new advantages of my mind; now I could think about whatever I wanted while keeping track of those tiny little peaks. Though it was a curse as well, I thought blandly. Sometimes it seemed to be impossible to only focus on one thing, no matter how much I wanted to.
I never actually found out what Carlisle and Jasper talked about when they disappeared into the woods that one day. All I know is that, when I asked, Carlisle had told me not to ask further. He had said that it would be too reminiscent of Edward's reaction to my supposed 'death' and I would only get upset. I took this to mean Jasper said he had wanted to kill himself and Carlisle, being the too-caring vampire that he is, spent most of his time convincing Jasper not to go through with it.
When I had gone back up later that day to check on Jasper, he had had his arm thrown over his eyes and was muttering to himself, almost giving himself a pep-talk. I'm not even sure he knew I was there.
"Alice wouldn't want that... you can't abandon the family. If she could have had a final wish, you know that would have been it. Leaving now would be a bad idea. Don't do it. No matter how bad you want to, you can't leave the family. Think of Esme, of Carlisle. They wouldn't take it well at all. The family's falling apart...," he continued, but I simply turned and stalked out of the room. I had been tired of feeling guilty. Jasper should stay, but ever since that day I had known that I needed to leave. I couldn't stay here and watch the family collapse underneath me.
I had never in my life—or now, existence—seen anyone as empty as Jasper had been. He hadn't found it in himself to leave the house yet and go back to where he and Alice had been staying. He was too afraid of leaving the place where Alice last was, he had told me one day. We had been talking a lot lately, mostly about Alice and Edward. More often than not, Carlisle joined us. It was like the Cullens had split into two groups; those who spent their time mourning, and those who spent their time talking about mourning.
The two groups had grown apart desperately. Though we still made it certain to try and spend an hour or so together per day, it was clear where we would be going after our "family time" most nights: Jasper and I would head up to my room, and if Carlisle didn't join us, he went to his study. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme all always went to the living room and watched television until they had something they needed to do or somewhere they needed to be.
Consequently, these tended to be the people that went hunting together. Whenever one of us needed to hunt, we grabbed the rest of our group and took a short trip to the forest. With our group, though, we tended to go out farther away. Jasper didn't like the thought of being anywhere near where Alice had been killed. We tended to hunt closer to the city than we would have liked, but there wasn't really a way around it. We all knew what it was like to lose someone close to us—I knew it would be difficult for me to face the exact spot I had witnessed Victoria kill Edward. I think my dead heart would probably expand until it simply exploded in my chest.
Unfortunately, Jasper's emotions had been affecting everyone, in the backwards way he could feel our emotions. Inversely, his emotions were so strong that he couldn't help the hurt and sorrow that was covering and smothering the rest of us like a blanket. No one ever complained, though. He deserved to be able to be horrifically sad. He had every right to feel the way he was feeling.
It's not that the two groups were unfriendly. That wasn't the case at all. But the lack of friendship and family felt unpleasant. We were always nice to each other, but it was in more of the way one would be friendly with a semi-close friend. More than acquaintances, but not quite to the good-friends stage yet. It was heart wrenching, and I knew that if it were ever to end, I had to leave. And soon.
A knock on my door drew me out of my thoughts and temporarily distracted me from my ever-long stare at the ceiling. I immediately lost count and shot a glare to whoever was behind the door.
"Bella?"
It was Jasper. Speak of the devil and the devil shall appear.
"Bella, we're about to head out to the market; Esme needs some more begonia seeds, and there're a few good flower shops in the city. Would you like to come?"
Would I like to? No. Would I? Probably.
Go, Bella. You haven't been out in ages, his voice rang out.
Because last I went out, someone died, I argued back. The voice was silent.
In an attempt to void off any needs to go, I asked, "Do you think I'm ready? I mean I've only been out with people a few times. How do you know I won't just end up hurting someone?"
"You won't," he said confidently. "Trust me, I've been in your position. I know it's hard, but Carlisle and I are here to help you. You know we'll hold you back if we think you're in any danger. Plus, you're doing way better than I did when I was your age."
I sighed. Obviously, I didn't have much of a choice in this matter. I was pretty much going, hands down. "I'll be down in a few," I said. Using my vampire speed, I changed and flew down the stairs. All five of the other Cullens were waiting patiently by the front door, and I was immediately reminded of the days when we used to do everything together as a family—even when I wasn't an official part of the family yet.
"You ready?" Carlisle asked.
I nodded and followed them out to the cars. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme took the Jeep while Carlisle, Jasper, and I hopped in the Mercedes—naturally.
I got in the back and spread myself across the backseat. I won't lie—I loved not having to worry about my safety. It was much more of a carefree life as a vampire. Much more comfortable, too, I thought with a smile.
"What's got you so happy?" Jasper asked, a short smile creeping across his face. As if realizing he shouldn't be happy, he quickly wiped it off.
"Nothing, really. Just enjoying the vampire life, I guess."
It was times like these I tried talking to Edward in my head. Times when I knew I wouldn't be disturbed for a while, and yet still had somewhat of a reason for him to appear. In this case, it was me lying in the back of the car sans-seatbelt. Even though I knew I wouldn't get hurt, if Edward were here, he'd still worry over me and make sure I was securely fastened into the seat—even though I could tear the seatbelt with a flick of my finger. Unfortunately, it never worked. He seemed to only appear sporadically. It never stopped me from trying, though.
I closed my eyes and tried to envision him. His tall, built body. That always-messy-no-matter-what reddish brown hair. The long lashes that perfectly framed his brilliant topaz eyes. His pale skin glinted off the sun in my mind. It was almost as if he was really right there in front of me.
Before trying anything, I admired the sight in my mind for a few moments. He was too perfect to be real. Some days, I felt like maybe this was all a dream. This was a dream and I would wake up to find that there was no Edward, no Alice, no Cullens. It was all a wild act of my imagination.
But I knew, thankfully, that that was not true. As hard as it was for me to survive without him, I thrived off the small seconds when he decided to make an appearance in my head. It made my days worth living.
Edward? I tried.
Nothing.
I sighed loudly, causing both Jasper and Carlisle's chair to squeak. I opened my eyes to find them both staring at me.
"Watch the road," I commanded out of habit. I knew we would be fine, but it was still a force of habit whenever someone was driving to actually keep their eyes on the path in front of them. Indestructible as I may be, I didn't want to find out what it felt like to live through what should be a fatal car crash. I'd prefer to arrive back to the house in one piece—literally.
The speedometer was heading towards the far right side of the dash, but it didn't seem as though we were going that fast. A glance out the window made it seem like we were going maybe twenty-five or so.
I decided to close my eyes again. It would probably be better if I just didn't think about the fact that we were passing 100 miles per hour.
I must admit—although there was a part of me that was still aching something awful for Edward, and I was still being haunted by my own thoughts—I felt considerably better. It was like Carlisle had told me back just before he changed me. The pain was still there, but it had eased. In all honesty, I think it was mostly because I had been so busy focusing on helping Jasper that I hadn't had time to think much about Edward.
No, that was a lie. I thought about him all the time. Every second of every day would be an understatement. Every millisecond of every day would be an understatement. But maybe my concentration wasn't focused solely on how I was getting on—or not getting on—without him. It was more like a slight distraction than a diversion.
Though the pain had eased, I couldn't help but feel uneasy about how I felt like I was bringing everyone down. I really needed to leave, before I hurt someone else.
I pushed the thought out of my head for now and shifted my gaze to the window so I could see where we were. The snow on the ground was thinning, but not because of a lack of snow. It was thinning more because of overuse. I could now smell the potent scent of humans mixed with various foods and, occasionally, an animal that happened to pass nearby the city.
Carlisle pulled the car into an empty parking spot and the Jeep followed suit, pulling up next to us. I smiled at Rosalie through the back window as she climbed out. I waited until I had room, then got out of the car myself. By that time, most everyone had gotten out already and were waiting on the sidewalk for me.
It was humorous how the vampires had bundled up for the snow. Rosalie was wearing a cute pair of earmuffs and a matching black scarf that tucked into her warm jacket. Fashionable snow boots covered her feet; she pulled them off in only the way Rosalie could. Esme was dressed in a similar fashion, though her hair was pulled unto a ponytail and she was wearing more of a ski jacket than a cute one. She looked as though she was going more for warmth than cuteness, which I thought was ironic. Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett were all wearing jeans and a ski jacket, each different colors and patterns. They looked like a handsome trio, all but strutting down the sidewalk to the garden store.
I watched closely at the interaction between the six of us. Though I don't think anyone else noticed it, I saw Jasper glaring at Rosalie and Emmett every time they did something that so much as resembled an action that pertained to their love. He was jealous, I was sure, but it was still hard to see him looking at his brothers that way.
Esme, meanwhile, was doing a great job of avoiding me. She did all she could to not look my direction. It felt like she resented me to the highest degree. It made me sad, of course, but it was understandable. I had killed her son and daughter. She had every right in the world to hate me.
I shook my head and started walking a few steps ahead of the group. I wondered absently if this was how Edward had been before he met me.
In front of me, I saw the flower shop that we had set out for come into view. Carmen had recommended this little boutique to Esme, called Alison's Flower Shop. Carmen said that she had heard the owner was very nice, though she had never had a chance to meet her herself. The store had a reputation for being unbearably sweet and selling the best kinds of seeds and flowers out there. I think we were all looking for a bit of happiness in our lives, and flowers seemed like the perfect solution to take our minds of as much as we could for a while.
Before I could register what was happening, three things happened at once. The first one was the scent that hit my nostrils like someone had shoved potpourri under my nose. It was a familiar scent—one I hadn't expected to ever smell again. The second was that every muscle in Carlisle's body stiffened. And last but not least, Jasper took off at a borderline inhuman pace toward the store.
"It can't be," I muttered.
"I know that smell," Rosalie drawled, slowing to a stop in front of the shop.
The sign hung over the entrance as though welcoming anyone who even walked by it. "Alison's Flower Shop" it read. Jasper had disappeared inside moments ago, and I was the first to follow him in.
A small, pixie-like woman was on top of a step-stool, putting some daisies into a vase on top of a shelf. When she heard the bell ring, signaling someone entering, she glanced over her shoulder and smiled.
"Hi, welcome to Alison's flower shop, how may I help you guys today?" she said happily as she danced over to us.
Her long, dark hair hung down to the middle of her back and contrasted nicely with her tan skin. She was still just as small as before, if not smaller. She looked a bit older, too. Maybe twenty or so. It was weird seeing her like this, but I was sure that everyone was thinking the same thing I was.
Jasper was the first to voice it. "Alice?" he asked, taking a few steps closer to her.
Her brows furrowed and she took a step back. "No... I'm Alison. Do I know you?"
"You seriously don't remember me?" Jasper asked, staring straight into her eyes the same way he had when she had been a vampire. But she was no vampire here. She was very much a human.
"Am I supposed to?" she asked. The entire shop was silent as they studied each other. Her brows furrowed together as if she came to a realization. "You look familiar, but I know I've never met you. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered. What's your name?"
Jasper didn't reply, instead simply sprinting at vampire speed until he was just a few inches in front of her. Then he did what I'd never seen Jasper do before—he dazzled her. I could never mistake that face; the glazed over and slightly parted mouth gave her away.
"Who are you?" she asked, dumbstruck.
"Come on, Alice, you know this," Jasper encouraged.
Upon hearing his voice, she shook her head, snapping herself out of it. "I told you, I'm Alison. How did you get over here so fast? I didn't even see you move, and all the sudden you were just right there and—" she paused, slowly shaking her head and backing away from Jasper. "Get out of my flower shop. I don't know you, whoever you are. If this is some sort of sick joke, it's not funny. Get out."
The look of hurt that flashed across Jasper's face could have made a biker cry. "Are you sure?" he asked.
She looked down at the ground, desperate to avoid his eyes. "I don't know."
"Well make up your mind, then."
"I can't do this right now. I have a shop to run," she said, spinning on her heel and disappearing into the back of the store.
Jasper slouched, but lead the way out of the shop nonetheless. As I left, I glanced back to where she had disappeared to. She was standing in the back, her head in her hands. I wanted to go comfort her, but I knew that would only make things worse.
What have I done?
How was she here? Why is she here? And more importantly, what was I still doing here?
A/N: Hahaha. Okay. So now that you all think you know what's going on (which, in our own defense, we know is not the case. But we choose to let you believe what you'd like.) we'd like to hear your thoughts. We can't tell you if you're right or wrong, but chances are you're wrong. (Haha. I mean that in the most loving way possible.) But Ben and I don't make predictable writing. Only him, me, and one of our close friends knows what's going to happen. (We love you, Simi! Haha.) We've kept this plot under the tightest of wraps. But please, let us know what you think is going to happen. We'd love to hear it.
Until Friday,
-cALLIEfornia BENches