Disclaimer: Don't own, wish I did ;)
Word Count: Almost 5,000 - my longest yet! you guys are lucky that I love you lol.
A/N: I know, I know. Another fast-ish update, is she feeling okay? lol. I got this done as quick as possible because I couldn't wait for the C/B getting together (or not) part. Plus I was kinda depressed by the promo for 2.15 even though I can't wait to see what the writers come up with! Anyways, thanks for all the lovely reviews, they motivate me even more! Hope you enjoy! Oh and for this Dance think exact same dresses and suits on everyone only in Valentine's Day colors.
PS - YALE next chapter!
"I'm telling you, the guy is a living genius." Chuck assured as he and Nate made their way into the elevator leading to the Van der Bass apartment. Chuck nodded to the doorman before pressing the button and continuing on, "He taught me everything I know about drugs, money and alcohol. Not to mention women, he puts even me to shame. No girl is safe."
"How come I've never heard of him before now? I mean you and I have been best friends for years." Nate asked.
Chuck gave a grudging nod. "He and Bart don't get along too well. The last time I saw him I was thirteen and they got into a fight. I don't think they've spoken since,"
"Five years? It must have been some fight."
"That it was." Chuck remembered quietly. "It was the first time I've ever truly seen my father loose his cool. To this day I don't know what it was about."
"Weird."
"Very. But that is beside the point. The point is, that we are going to get out of our minds in fun this weekend. Now are you in?" Chuck slapped him on the back as the elevator came to halt.
"I'm in." Nate laughed, before frowning. "Just don't tell Jenny."
"Man you are so whipped." Chuck smirked. "Do you think Little J will let me borrow the leash? Or should I just activate the tracking device in the collar?"
The smirk was wiped off his face however as they walked into the apartment only to be greeted by the sight of an older man in his mid-thirties kissing Blair's hand as she smiled down on him.
Now it was Nate's turn to clap him on the back, "Actually I don't think that will be necessary after all. But hey, I could ask her if you can borrow the pistol? It looks like you might need it."
~*~*~*~
"Uncle Jack!" Chuck greeted, shaking his hand. "Great to see you again. I see you've met my friend Blair." His eyes bore into the elder Bass' head in warning.
"We've been acquainted." Blair smiled.
"Charles you didn't tell me that all of your friends were this beautiful. I would have paid you a visit sooner." Jack slung his arm around his nephew's shoulders.
"I'm sure you would have." Chuck murmured. "This is Nathaniel."
"Ah, the best friend." Jack nodded. "Charles has told me all about you. Good to finally meet the man himself."
"All good I hope." Nate chuckled, transferring into formal mode. "Pleasure to meet you too sir."
"Oh please, call me Jack. 'Sir' makes me sound old."
"And God forbid he should need reminding." Bart interrupted, walking into the room with Eric at his heels. "What do you think you're doing here?"
"Chuck didn't tell you I was coming?" Jack asked innocently.
Bart rounded on Chuck.
"I thought he had called you first. I only found out yesterday and you left your phone here when you and Lily went away." Chuck explained, handing his father a slim silver cell phone.
Bart sighed. "Eric this is my brother Jack. Jack, this is my step-son Eric."
"Hi." Eric waved.
Jack nodded at him.
Silence.
"Well this has been sufficiently awkward," Blair rolled her eyes. "I'm gonna go. Eric tell your sister that since apparently her new boytoy is more important then her best friend, I'll see her later." She handed him the folder that was in her hand.
"What's this?" He asked, flipping through it. "Garth Jacobs, Danny Vato, Lucas James?"
Nate snatched the list out of his hand. "Senior Charity Valentines Ball Date Options?" He read. "Blair there must be at least fifty names here. Did all of these guys ask you out already?"
"Of course," She snapped. "Do you think Angelina Jolie even considers a project without an offer on the table?"
"Just out of curiosity," Chuck asked, "Who's in the lead to play guy with no future?"
"What makes you think I'm not looking for something more permanent?" Blair asked.
He gave her a look, "Call it a hunch."
She paused, "Keith Nelson."
"Are you kidding me?" He smirked, "Have you ever seen him without gum in his mouth? The neural fixation alone would drive you insane."
Blair opened her mouth before closing it again and shaking her head. She grabbed a pen from the desk and crossed a big X through the name. "Andy Clark."
"Outscored you at verbal on the SAT's," Chuck nodded.
"I like an intelligent man." Blair retorted, "He can whisper mellifluous nothings in my ear."
"You only think you like an intelligent man," Chuck informed her, "The second he'd give you a history of the word 'mellifluous' you'd rip our his sweet lafairing tongue."
Blair glared at him, "So who's next?" He asked innocently.
"You know," Jack cut in thoughtfully, "I'd be happy to escort you to the Ball myself. Anything for a friend of Chuck's."
She looked him up and down before giving him a fake smile, "Thanks for the offer, but the Father/Daughter dance is next month."
Chuck winked at her and Nate snickered.
"With age comes experience," Jack reminded her.
"I don't have time for this," She decided briskly. "Eric-"
"I know, give her the folder." Eric rolled his eyes before noticing her flats. "Hey you aren't going shopping are you? Because I need to get Jenny a birthday present..."
"Come along E," Blair agreed, linking arms with him and leading him away, "At least one Van der Woodson appreciates my company."
"You know I don't give up that easily," Jack called after her.
"Well maybe you should learn to," Blair replied as the elevator closed.
"What?" Jack asked when all three men glared at him. "I like a woman who plays hard to get, and she gives a new meaning to the word gorgeous."
"Miss Waldorf is a very close friend of the family and I would appreciate it if you didn't go after her." Bart said firmly, "She's also Nate and Charles' ex-girlfriend so I'm sure you can understand how it would be inappropriate."
Jack raised his eyebrows, "Both of you dated her, maybe she'll be easier then I thought."
Nate quickly intercepted Chuck before he could do any damage to his uncle. "Maybe we should go upstairs now, before anyone gets hurt..."
"That is a very good idea. I want to speak with you anyway Jack." Bart said, walking in the direction of his office.
"Blair is off-limits." Chuck warned before allowing Nate to lead him away.
Jack saluted him before following Bart. "What's gotten into him?" He asked his brother as he shut the door behind him and relaxed into a chair.
"You were practically salivating over the girl he loves, I'm sure you can guess why that would upset him." Bart said.
"Loves?" Jack spat out in between laughter, "He's eighteen! There is no possible way that he's in love with her, and from the stories I've been hearing about him I don't think he ever will be in love."
"People said the same thing about you," Bart reminded him.
Jack's eyes hardened. "I was older."
"You were nineteen-"
"And it was lust, or at least that's what you assured me, wasn't it? That Misty and I were too young to have such deep feelings for each other, that I should break it off." Jack sneered. "I suppose I should be grateful that you at least waited a few weeks before putting yourself in the picture."
Bart glared at him, "Enough! What Misty and I had ran much deeper then the tawdry love affair that you two had. She even admitted it herself. She. Chose. Me,"
"Maybe," Jack shrugged, "But look where she ended up. Replaced by some blond money-grabber with expensive taste. Misty would turn in her grave."
"Misty's death," Bart stated clearly and dangerously, "Was a tragedy, it was nobody's fault. There's not a day goes by that I don't miss her and wish that she were here with me now, but she's not. I had to move on, I love Lily, and she loves me. Perhaps not as much as we should, but love manifests itself in different ways. I wanted a family for Charles, and she wanted stability and a reason for her to not digress into her old ways."
"The perfect foundation for a marriage," Jack snorted, before sighing. "He looks so much like her, how can you stand it?"
"I couldn't, for a long time. Every time I looked at him a saw her, it hurt too much. I began to neglect him, spending as little time as possible with him, relying on others to recount tales and stories of his childhood to me." Bart looked his brother in the eye. "He thought that I hated him; that I blamed him for his mothers death."
"And do you?"
"Of course I don't! He was just an innocent child, it wasn't his fault. And I suppose that I didn't help..." He sighed. "When we first moved here ten years ago I instructed him to tell everyone that his mother died in a plane crash."
"A plane crash?" Jack raised his eyebrows. "That was the best you could come up with?"
"Yes well, it's not exactly the easiest subject for me to talk about." Bart said pointedly. "Now, I wanted to talk about your stay here. I will not have it like last time. Chuck is finally starting to see straight and mature, I do not want you corrupting him again."
"Please, I was not corrupting him." Jack scoffed.
"I walked into my hotel suite to find my thirteen year old son naked on the bed with three models." Bart said angrily.
"He was a fast learner! And besides, it's not like they were his first..."
~*~*~*~
"Thanks so for letting me stay here last night S," Blair said as she gathered her bathroom stuff together and half-closed the door behind her so she could continue talking to her best friend. "Dorota's staying at her sister's until she and that maid from room service sort out their differences, and Mom and Cyrus looked like they were about to start tearing each others clothes off."
"Sure no problem," Serena made a face, "Just please, spare me the visual!"
"Shoot I forgot my shampoo," Blair muttered, "Serena do you have any shampoo I can borrow?"
"Top shelf, on the right," Serena called back, a few seconds later she knocked on the door, "B I'm going to go down and get some breakfast okay, meet you down there?"
"Yeah, whatever." Blair said distractedly, trying to peer through the steam and find the bottle. Her hand finally grasped on something and she pulled back a bright gold bottle. Shrugging her shoulders she quickly lathered, rinsed, and repeated and shut off the water. She pulled a towel tightly over her body and turned on the fan to get rid of the remaining steam as she brushed out her hair. She looked up at the mirror and let out a scream.
"SERENA!"
~*~*~*~
"Was that Blair?" Nate asked as every member of the Van der Bass household plus Jack jumped to their feet and raced upstairs.
"Blair what is it? What's wrong?" Serena asked breathlessly as Chuck pushed open the bathroom door.
Blair turned and glowered at all of them, still dressed only in a towel. "What's wrong? What's wrong!" She hissed, motioning her hands to her now platinum blond hair, "I'm BLOND! That's what is wrong! I've probably lost about a hundred braincells already!"
Chuck, Bart and Jack started snickering as Lily crossed her arms across her chest and Serena looked affronted.
"What?" Blair snapped as she received stony looks from over half of the occupants of the room.
Jack stopped laughing long enough to sling his arm around her shoulders and tell her;
"Blond," He pointed to Lily, "Blond," Serena, "Blond," Nate, "Blond." he pointed one last finger at Eric, before turning to her and doing the same, "Dead."
Blair just shrugged his arm off of her shoulder, scowled, and slammed the bathroom door in all of their faces.
There was a few seconds pause before laughter erupted throughout the house.
~*~*~*~
"Really Blair it's not that bad." Serena comforted as Blair sat glaring at her own reflection in the mirror. "Actually you look really sophisticated, like a blond Katherine Hepburn."
"No she doesn't," Chuck scoffed.
Blair spun around and fixed him with the deadliest glare that she could muster up. "How long until this washes out?"
"The bottle said a few days but I remember it didn't last as long when I had it in," Serena said helpfully.
"You're forgetting that you used it for a Halloween party when you were sixteen. It's had two years to ferment since then." Chuck reminded her, stepping behind Blair and studying her profile in the mirror. "I don't know Waldorf. White-blond might actually suit you."
"Thanks, Bass." Blair smiled.
"I don't think that Eleanor will feel the same though." Chuck added with a smirk as he watched her face harden again.
"Crap."
~*~*~*~
"I no like this Miss Blair." Dorota frowned as she handed Blair the list of girls.
"Well I didn't like that fillet mignon you made for dinner but you don't hear me complaining." Blair snapped. "Dorota these girls are all wrong! Chloe Steinbeck? What on earth were you thinking? She looks like a pug!"
"Her profile say she very nice. She enjoy long walks on beach and romantic dinners."
Blair scoffed, "Romantic dinners? Please, Chuck's idea of romantic is waiting for you to take off your jewelery before he-"
"Miss Blair!"
"Come on Dorota we need to focus! We can not let that Basstard win!"
"For once I agree." Dorota muttered. "How about this girl. She smart, very pretty, dark brown hair."
Blair examined the photo under a magnifying glass. "She has a pimple the size of Everest on her chin. I may hate Chuck, but even I am not that cruel."
"If you say so," Dorota sighed.
Seven pictures later Blair was even more frustrated, "What is wrong with these girls! I swear, they're getting uglier as we go along."
"Maybe you getting pickier."
"I told you before – I will not allow Chuck to win! He can not know me better then anybody else!"
"But he does." Dorota said confusedly.
"That is not the point!"
~*~*~*~
"Should I be worried?" Bart asked, picking up one of the photographs that Chuck was pouring over.
"He's picking out Blair's new boyfriend." Eric supplied, grabbing a tub of ice-cream and sitting down at the counter next to his sister.
"What?" Lily laughed, grabbing a spoon. "I hardly think that Blair would allow that."
"Oh she is," Serena confirmed. "Chuck gets to pick her date to the Snowflake Ball and she gets to pick his."
"And the reason for this is... ?"
"To prove who knows each other better." Serena rolled her eyes. "If either of them actually like their dates they lose. And knowing those two there is also a bonus. What are you getting out of it?"
"Who does Blair love most in the world?" Chuck smirked, putting his pen down.
"You-" Eric started but Serena cut him off with a kick.
"You got her to give up Dorota!" Serena asked incredulously.
"For a month. And if by some freak of nature I lose, she gets the limo." Chuck admitted.
"So let me get this straight, you pick out a new guy for Blair, which, knowing you, will most likely be an inferior version of you, and if Blair likes him you give her the limo. Right?" Eric asked.
Chuck nodded, picking up the pen.
"So if you lose Blair leaves in your limo, the limo, with a new guy. Does any of that seem off to you?" Eric asked Serena innocently while smirking at Chuck.
The pen snapped.
"Bro," He ground out, "Do me a favor. The next time you think of something, keep it to yourself." He packed up the photographs and stormed off to his room.
~*~*~*~
"This girl is perfect." Blair sighed happily.
"Miss Blair she looks just like you," Dorota frowned disapprovingly.
"Are you saying she's prettier then me?" Blair demanded.
"No, I mean - I get door to suite now," Dorota excused herself much to Blair's chagrin, and showed Justine, the girl they had chosen, inside.
"Blair? You rang?" Justine asked, tucking a stray brown wisp of curly hair behind her ear.
"I did, how would you like to escort a fine, eligible, bachelor to the prestigious Senior Dance tonight?" Blair gave her a dazzling smile.
"Um... Sure, I guess so." Justine replied.
"Great!" Blair said enthusiastically, already throwing dresses out onto the bed. "Oh and one last thing," Blair faced her and gave her her best 'Queen B' look. "If you so much as think about sleeping with Chuck, I will destroy you. Now I was thinking floral? Maybe a deep shade of burgundy?"
Justine gulped.
~*~*~*~
"Hi Chuck," some girl smiled flirtatiously at him.
"Are you Blair's girl?" Chuck asked. "Not bad, you know the roof has some amazing views..."
"Excuse me, he's taken, shoo," Blair interrupted.
"Well you look lovely," Chuck said with a smile. "I see the hair washed out, finally."
"Not as lovely as I'll look in my limo," Blair smoothed down the lapel of his red sequined jacket, ignoring his last comment. "So where's my Prince Un-Charming?"
"Sandbox rules, I'll show you mine if you show me yours."
"Fine, here she comes. Justine this is Chuck Bass."
"Very nice to meet you." He said charmingly, shaking her hand. He glanced at Blair before waving over his shoulder at someone.
Blair let out a disbelieving laugh upon seeing her date, "You can't be serious," She turned to Chuck, "We need to talk, excuse us." She quickly led a smirking Chuck away.
"Explain," She demanded once they had reached a secluded corner.
"Why don't you start," Chuck replied, "Justine seems to look a lot like a certain someone that I know."
Blair smiled innocently, "We both know that I'm your one and only, and a Canal Street knock-off seemed like the best option."
"My thinking exactly," Chuck agreed.
"Fine," Blair sighed, "You know if Beta-Bass is anything like the original I've no doubt that sooner or later he'll disappoint me."
"And I'm curious to see if the new Blair has all of the features that I so enjoyed on the old model."
"So the bet is still on?" Blair asked sharply.
"Unless you're willing to concede?" Chuck snapped back.
"To you," Blair scoffed, "Never." She stormed off with Chuck trailing after her, still smirking.
~*~*~*~
"Where are they?" Blair snapped.
"Relax, they'll be here somewhere." Chuck said unconcernedly.
"Oh my God." Blair gasped a few second later, "This is the worst out of body experience ever. Hey!" She yelled, clapping her hands and making Justine and her replacement-Chuck break apart. "Explain this!"
"After you and Chuck walked off, Justine and I got to talking."
"He took me up to the roof and we looked over the city..."
Blair shot a glare at Chuck who remarked dryly, "Of course he did."
"We just knew we were meant for each other," Blair's date looked adoringly at Chuck's date.
"But she's me," Blair said finally, "Only less – I gave her that headband you know."
"We're as surprised as you are," Justine shrugged before continuing to kiss her new boyfriend.
Blair gave Chuck a pointed look, "Everyone, including our dopplegangers can work it out... But we can't?"
Chuck looked down and didn't reply.
"Ugh." Blair shook her head and walked away.
Chuck took one last look at the couple who resembled him and Blair so much, before walking away in the opposite direction to Blair. He made his way into the mens bathroom only to find Dan and Serena passionately making out against a cubicle. "He hem." He cleared his throat.
"Crap," Dan swore as Serena quickly fixed her dress.
"Chuck," Serena sighed, "What is it going to take to keep you quiet about this?"
He took one look at their happy, flushed faces before turning his back on them and exiting the room again, "My lips are sealed," He muttered under his breath as he maneuvered his way through the thick throng of students, searching for Blair.
He finally found her on the stairs, staring down their clones, who were still kissing. "Dance with me." He said quietly, coming to stand next to her.
"What's the point Chuck?" She sighed, not tearing her eyes away from the dance floor. "We're never going to be them Chuck, you said so yourself."
"Maybe not," Chuck shrugged, looking her straight in the eye. "But I wouldn't change us. Not if it meant losing what we have."
"And what do we have Chuck? You tell me." She asked quickly.
Chuck looked down and allowed a small, genuine, smile to grace his lips. "Tonight." He said simply, "So shut up, and dance with me."
Blair hesitated before allowing him to take her hand in his and lead her to the dance floor, while attempting to keep a grin off of her face.
"We'd never work you know," Chuck said conversationally, "You're a high-maintenance bitch."
"And you're a low-life Basshole who takes pleasure in making my life hell," Blair countered.
"I'd be forever jealous of any guy who looked even the slightest bit like Prince Charming." Chuck admitted.
"My girls would always be working overtime to take down any slut who so much as talks to you," Blair conceded.
"We'd never be able to take a normal limo ride, alone or in company."
"My reputation is less then pristine from the last time we were together, it'd be shot completely to hell if we got together now."
"Dorota hates me." He reminded her.
"All of your family loves me." Blair smirked.
"I'm best friends with the guy you've been planning on marrying since you were four."
"My best friend is your step-sister."
"If I ever hurt you I'd be forced to flee the country in fear of your wrath."
"If I ever hurt youyou'd flee the country and I'd be stuck facing everyone's wrath."
"I'm already considering changing my ways for you."
"Given the choice I'm beginning to wonder if I'd choose you over everything else at this point."
"I'm in love with you." Chuck said, giving her a look as if to say 'top that'.
"Well that's too bad because I'm in love with you too." Blair retorted.
They both froze.
"Jenny Humphrey!" A shrill voice yelled a few seconds later. They both sprung apart and made their way to the front of the ball room where a lone figure stood beneath the spotlight, her dress see through from the waist down, while everyone stood and laughed at her.
"Oops," Jenny said innocently, "Sorry Penelope, I must've been too busy begging for food on the streets to remember to add lining to that dress."
"You are so going to pay for this!" Penelope swore furiously, running out of the hall. Iz and Hazel eyes found Blair's and silently asked what to do. Blair rolled her eyes and inclined her head towards the door in a motion to follow Penelope and make sure she didn't do anything stupid.
"Alright everyone," Lily attempted to control her snickers. "Show's over."
"For now," Jenny added cheekily, allowing herself to be removed from the hall by one of the overseers.
"Sorry Mrs Bass," Nate smiled sheepishly, "Jenny gets a little carried away at times."
"It's really not a big deal," Lily waved off, "Although I could use a favor, Serena and Dan disappeared hours ago and I haven't seen them since, and quite honestly I don't think I want to. Do you think you could make a few polite inquires?"
"No need," Bart interrupted with Jack at his side. "We just saw them leaving a few minutes ago."
"Yeah," Jack said grumpily as Nate left to find his girlfriend. "Why are all of the good ones always taken?"
"Because they're seventeen and you're not?" Lily tried, "I'm going to get some very spiked punch." She excused herself. "Remind me to thank Charles for that," She muttered to herself, "I have a feeling that I might need it."
"Jack why are you here? And I want the truth this time." Bart demanded after Lily had left.
Jack sighed before replying, "Samantha contacted me a few weeks ago. Alisha wants to meet Chuck."
"No way." Bart refused fervently. "She wasn't interested in meeting him when he was younger, she can forget it now."
"He's eighteen, and she wants to meet her Grandson. It's his choice to make." Jack protested. "Sam and Alisha are the only links that Chuck has to his mom, if it wasn't such a sore subject I'm sure he'd have brought it up before now."
Bart's eyes turned to watch his son who was dancing with Blair Waldorf. The two looked like they were engaged in avid conversation. "He's only just started to get himself together and mature. I wont let Alisha effect that in any way."
"It wont." Jack promised, before quickly retracting, "On second thoughts..."
Bart sighed. "Tell them I'll expect a visit within the month."
~*~*~*~
"What if we mess it all up?" Blair asked quietly as they resumed dancing. "I don't... I can't lose you."
"Waldorf we survived jealous ex-s, brawls, a pregnancy scare, scandal, manipulation, abandonment, British-"
"Okay Chuck!" Blair interrupted. "I get it. We're both idiots."
Chuck looked at the hand that was holding Blair's and carefully threaded his fingers through hers.
"Chuck and Blair holding hands." She whispered.
He nodded before replying. "And in Blair-World everything is a movie anyway so we got that one covered too."
Blair slapped him on the arm as he smirked.
"Three words..." He prompted
"Eight letters," She smiled.
"Say it and I'm yours." The both chorused.
"You really can be quite poetic when you want to be," Chuck mused.
"I choose to take that as a compliment." Blair said haughtily. "And another thing-"
His lips on hers cut her off mid-sentence.
"That's what I missed the most about us," Chuck told her as they finally came up for air.
"What? Kissing me?" Blair teased.
"No - having a fail-safe way to shut you up." He told her seriously before laughing at the murderous look on her face and leading her off the dance floor.
"Where are you taking me now Bass?" She asked.
He smirked at her, "I think it's about time we reclaimed our roof from those rip-offs, don't you think?"