Thanks so much to j0k3 ( I hope I wrote it right this time :D and I'm really sorry for wrong spelling), Addie, mcsteamyshottt and Emily! you are so nice, thanks so much!

I'm sorry for my mistakes, I corrected them but maybe I didn't save the corrected version, I have no idea!

so kill me I'm blonde!

please review :)

thanks, wish you all a good day.

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Piper crowded into her father's bad, she wanted to hug him tightly as her mother did when she was sick but her father didn't even look at her. He stared into the celling, Addison saw the sadness in her daughter's eyes and told her that maybe she can buy daddy a candy from the shop near the hospital.

Later this day Naomi came for them to take them to their house. She made comfortable the host room, took some cloths from Addison's house and prepared a perfect dinner for them.

Addison is her best friend and when your best friend needs help, you should help. She did it with love to Addison and her kids, she is a godmother of Piper and she is a very frequent visitor in Addison's house.

When they were in car, the awkward silence was in the air.

"Will daddy be ok?"

" I hope he will" Addison asked exhausted.

"When?"

"I don't know"

"When he will be with us?"

"I don't know, honey" stop asking questions Piper, just stop.

"But I want daddy to be with us,"

"I know but daddy has to stay in a hospital for a while" can he stay there longer? Maybe it is better than any more arguments at home

"How long?"

"GOD, I DON'T KNOW"

She yelled, she just yelled on her own daughter and she started crying, the hysterical crying which you can't stop. She cried for hours and Addison wasn't able to calm her down. She hated her own daughter, she really wanted to be alone. Immediately she regretted it but she couldn't help herself.

"The dinner was fabulous, thanks so much, Nae, you shouldn't do it"

"No, I should, you are my best friend. I can't just watch you falling down, I wanna help! I wanna be useful. Should I take kids to bed?"

"Nae, would you mind if I, if I go and sleep at home? I wanna be alone for a while. I'm sorry"

She left Naomi with the kids, Nathan was playing with Sam and the cars, Piper fell asleep after her hysterical scene. The crying took too much energy from you. Even after.

Addison came into the house, when she looked around, she saw the mess which they made before they went away yesterday.

The plates from the dinner were still on the kitchen unit, nobody gave them into the washbox. She did it, she fed their dog Sparkie and went to their bedroom, the bed wasn't make, the sheet was blooded and you could see the steps of blood everywhere, there were also a white cloth which Addison tried to stop bleeding.

Memories were back but the exhaustion won and Addison fell asleep.

For one week she stayed at home, nobody cared, She told Naomi that she won't come and her friend happily agreed.

Naomi thought that it is a good idea that she wants to take a break and let her be.

But the only problem was that the week off wasn't a good idea. The only thing what Addison did for the whole week was that she takes kids to school, from school, visits her husband.

When Addison is with Noah they don't talk, she stares at him like he is some kind of icon, he stares into the selling, the only thing that they share is emptiness. Emptiness in their mind, in their heart, there are no worlds.

Are there even any feelings?

Addison looks like a skeleton by the time. She cooks just for kids, she stopped smiling a year ago, the only thing what you can see in her face which reminds a smile is a funny grimace.

At least it is enough for kids, she doesn't want them to see scary.

Piper isn't angry at her mother anymore, Nathan is training to become the captain of his football team at school.

The day of Nathan's birthday is here and here is also a day of Noah's coming to home.

His doctors warned her that it's not going to be easy and she accepted it. She took it as a burden.

The morning of Nathan's birthday was exciting. Of course for him,

Addison invited everyone who she knew. Mark and Callie with their kids Mike and Charlotte, Alex and Izzie Karev and their twins Parker and Scott and a little girlie Meridith Rose, some Nathan's friends from school and the last one, she had to pick up Noah from the hospital.

She signed all the papers. And prepared for the worst.

"Hey"

"Hi" He said with the absent voice.

"Nathan's birthday ....." she wanted to start an awkward conversation, the silence started to kill her inside more and more.

"Addison, you don't need to talk just because you don't want to stay in an awkward silence."

"ok, let's go to the party"

Where are your presents? Where are your masks? One, two, three ...let's play a game, let's pretend we are happy.

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so I hope the chapter is longer than this one before.

and yes Meridith is a different name than Meredith :D.