A/N: Well, I never really intended to continue this, but in a time of finals and just general crap, I supposed a bit of stress relief was in order. So, to anyone who still reads this, I have returned! :D read, review, give a crap, I don't mind whatever.

The Dangers of Meeting a Zelda – …Nothing Much, Really, Except For the Stalkerman

"I'm doing this because I haven't beaten you up for stealing Link's backpack," Samus deadpanned in class one day during English group peer review. She fingered her haphazard English binder, taking out the discussion notes she had taken. "Now help me with this. I don't get it."

You took a moment to think of what to say, taking two seconds to connect that she was both antagonizing you and asking for your help at the same time. "That's not a nice thing to say to someone that knows what we're doing. I can just not help you, you know."

Samus looked like she was thinking about what you said before she grinned and pointed a pencil at you. "You're too nice for that. I'm onto you."

You sigh, letting a smile creep onto your face despite yourself. "Fine, fine. But we call a treaty next class, deal?"

She smiled innocently. "Deal."

You blink at her and decide to push the limits. "And you buy me lunch." This time, you flashed an innocent smile.

She whacked you with her binder.

"Don't try to be cute."

Like all promises made by Samus, this one was kept. They made a treaty, decided the rules, and got a little land back, but not much. It was understandable, since they were out of the game no matter what.

Link sighed from next to you.

You sighed with him.

"This sucks," you said, once again passing your territory's turn, when everyone else seemed to have so much fun with attacking and killing each other.

"I know," Link agreed, for the fifth time. With a glance at the board pinned up on the wall, you duly noted that Samus was smartly waiting out the rest of the class's surrender, while also building up her supplies because she had unsmartly overextended earlier in the actual invasion. However, no one had caught the misstep, instead intimidated by the overall power that was her country. And, of course, people wanted to ally with those that were their friends…

…and then utterly annihilate them in a mess of backstabbing.

You and Link sighed together again. It wasn't fair. And you said so. Loudly.

Mr. Vaughan heard apparently, because he lifted his head from the board and walked over, ambling through the milling crowds of people deciding how to gang up and defeat Samus. Other teams asked for your territory to rise up from the inside and defeat her while they enacted a simultaneous invasion, but you could definitely see that you'd be crushed first. Based upon the amount of supplies and firepower (and Samus had already made a limitation on just how much of an army you could raise), she had more than enough to stop you and then stop them.

In any case, Vaughan came over and smiled mischievously. "Of course it is. It's war."

You groaned, putting your head onto your desk.

Link replied instead. "Does this always happen to the weakest territory?" he asked in that very Link-esque way that painted their whole situation as completely and utterly hopeless. You never knew Link could be that dramatic. He always seemed to come off as a block of (stern) ice before…

Mr. Vaughan laughed. "Yes." And after a pause, he grinned. "But there was a solution to all of this…" You perked up, but with that, he left to call the end of the diplomacy meetings and to start the next round.

You glanced towards Link, who was looking pretty contemplative. "What?" you whispered as Vaughan narrated the wins/losses and the order of moves and so on.

Link scooted closer until your arms brushed. He was grinning excitedly. "I'm not sure… but…"

"Yeah?" you asked, curiosity building.

Vaughan was giving Link The Look, you noticed. Hopefully Link would still answer you—

Link returned Vaughan's stare, looked at the clock, and then shook his head. "I'll tell you later."

So thus, once the bell rang fifteen minutes later, you were still really curious. You weren't even rushing to the lunch line to get food! Perhaps the root of your curiosity was more of the fact that Link was much more of an expressive kid (just like you, in some aspects) than you had originally thought—but, if Link had also found a way for them to stop being in the stalemate they were in, you'd be glad. Spending two hours in a classroom with nothing to do but watch other people have fun while killing each other hypothetically was not your idea of fun, after all.

Instead, Link was the one leading the way outside, and to one of the benches that you didn't usually sit at. You didn't mind that much. Samus had class (the reasons she had lunch with you every other day was because it was a block scheduled school), and Lucario would find you sooner or later. He always did—a bit creepy, but also really reliable. You joked that Lucario would be a great detective someday if not taking over the world.

"Vaughan said that there was a solution, right?" Link said, more of a rhetorical question than a legitimate inquiry.

You nodded.

"Well I was thinking—" Link stopped talking suddenly, as if struck by lightning.

What was it now?

"Hey Link!" a feminine voice greeted from behind you. You turned around, and were suddenly met with the sight of a very pretty Zelda Celeste. She noticed you, and you were a bit offended that she looked… confused. "And… Pit… Ilari? Right, I remember you! We're in the same English class," she said, face lighting up at her brilliant recollection skills.

"Hey Zelda," Link greeted, voice notably different.

"Yeah, hi," you echo.

She started putting her stuff down on Link's side of the bench, and you looked back to him. "Come on, tell me! Can we win?" you asked.

"No, not really," Link replied, a little sidetracked.

You frowned, both let down and irritated that he wasn't fully engaged in the conversation. "Then why were you so excited?"

Link shook his head a bit and then finally looked at you in the eyes. You could tell he was still distracted, though, by how he had lost the initial glow from before. "Well, I was thinking that since Vaughan is Vaughan, he'd have something up his sleeve to surprise us, right?"

You nod, noticing that Zelda was listening as well.

"So it's like there's the possibility that everyone could coexist on the island with the right maneuvering," he said, glow returning momentarily. "I'd have to calculate how many people we had in the beginning for pioneers and armies, but it's possible. Remember that simulation where we were left on an island to either kill other people or die?"

You nod and grin, liking where this was going. Of course, their class had killed everyone useless, but if they hadn't…

"I heard that the other class like… refused to kill anybody. And Vaughan was trying all sorts of stuff to try to get them to excommunicate other people, but in the end, they all survived," Link said. "So it must be the same for this one, right? He's still a teacher, and there has to be some underlying meaning to all of this. You know how he was when talking about Gandhi."

"Wow, I'd never have thought it like that," Zelda commented.

You were about to agree when Link flushed very lightly and said, "Thanks."

…And you knew enough that Link would not blush under normal circumstances. Thus, you were hit with a revelation.

Link liked Zelda Celeste. Link Keir! The emotionless dude!

At that moment, Lucario decided to drop in with his nice egg salad sandwich (he was a vegetarian), and a cheeseburger that you knew was for you precisely because of the aforementioned reason. "You, my friend, are freaking awesome," you said to him, snatching the burger and digging out what money you had.

"Thank you," Lucario said seriously, like always, as you dropped a few quarters and dimes into his waiting hand. His eyes flicked to the fellow bench-mates. "Link, Zelda," he greeted, meeting the eyes of each.

"Lucario," Link replied in the same manner, nodding carefully.

"Hi!" Zelda said.

"Dude," you said to Link, rolling over the awkward silence that would have ensued after the greetings, "Vaughan will never know what hit him when we propose it next class!"

"Vaughan? The honors history teacher?" Lucario asked, who was not in honors history.

"Yeah," you answered. "We're having this invasion thing. And Link came up with a solution that no one would have thought of!"

Zelda giggled, and Link blushed deeper than before, probably more from Zelda's reaction than your praise.

Lucario gave you one of The Looks, and you returned it with raised eyebrows and a grin. For all of Link's initial quiet impression, he was sure easy to read…

"That sounds interesting," he commented.

"Yeah, it's wicked cool. Bald teachers are awesome, didn't I say before?" you asserted.

"You think that too?" Zelda asked, appearing in the conversation.

And, for fun, you reply with equal fervor. Link had to grow a backbone to talk to Zelda anyway. "Yeah, I once had this math teacher in seventh grade—"

"Once?" she asked, puzzled.

"Well, the math teachers got switched around like six times so he was only there for two months, but he was still pretty awesome…"

And so the conversation went, Link determinedly quiet throughout, only responding when a question was directed at him while you talked with (primarily) Zelda and (less so) Lucario.

You were very amused.

The next day, you walked over to Link in Algebra I and switched out with Luigi, who sat next to him. Greene was blind and obnoxious, so he wouldn't notice if it was only every now and then he was not in his assigned seat.

You ripped out a piece of binder paper from your notebook and wrote in it, dude I need to get your AIM. you have one? and btw, nice choice of crush.

Blatantly, you put the piece of paper on his desk. Greene would think it was notes-sharing anyway, the way he thought of his students.

You heard writing next to you, and then a paper was shoved into your line of sight. You took it, turning it over to see the text.

-_-

sevenyearsback.

back off if you know.

You raised your eyebrows. Wow, defensive, wasn't he?

thx, you wrote. lol touchy. kk, I don't care anyway.

stalkerman.

You grin at the last word. Though, caught up in your brisk writing, you didn't notice Greene staring at you. "Is there something funny about graphs, Pit?"

Looking up, you sweated out a response. "Uh, yeah, Mr. Greene. They're just so… precise, you know?"

Link coughed in the moment of awkward silence before Luigi and DK laughed.

"…I see." Greene, overtaken by his desire to be popular, let it go.

Pit handed the paper to Link, paid attention for a few seconds, and got the paper back.

wtf? I'm not a stalker. what's your AIM? and that was a really bad pun.

You grin, despite the reprimand a minute ago.

o i saw how you were looking at her… and it's ch1ldof1carus. do you even get wth greene is teaching?