Dark Night, Hold Tight, chapter 21

I want you to know this
My anger's all but done
Sweet Lord
I swear I've seen the darkness
Sweet Lord
I swear I've seen some pain
Satellites ahead
So hold on

--The Doves, "Satellites"

"So what are we going to do tonight?" Summer asked, later that evening. She and Seth were sitting together on the couch after dinner; he was flipping through the TV Guide; she was painting her fingernails.

Seth shot her a quizzical sideways glance à la Ryan. "Do?" he clarified.

"Surely you have something planned…bellydancing lessons, or an impromtu trip to surgery…ooh! We could totally go and get tattoos…"

"Sure, smart ass," Seth retorted cheerfully. "Right after the white water rafting and bungee jumping."

"Hey!" Summer volleyed. "Blind people don't bungee jump!"

Thoroughly chastised, Seth ducked his head in embarrassment, did not answer.

"Wanna know why?" Summer continued slyly.

"Um, why?"

"Because it scares the hell out of the dog!" she collapsed into a fit of giggles. Seth stared, slack-jawed. Summer sat up after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, and said, "…it's okay to laugh."

"It just seems wildly insensitive, huh?" Seth murmured, affectionately ruffling her hair while she adjusted her position on the couch, moving closer to him.

"It's not insensitive when I tell them," she replied primly, picking imaginary lint off of the leg of her jeans. "Lawyers know the best lawyer jokes…blondes know the best blonde jokes…perverts know the best dirty jokes…and I know the best blind jokes."

Seth wrinkled his nose comically. "Is there a big market out there for blind jokes?"

"Well, duh," Summer waved her fingers daintily. "So…this guy goes into a bar with his dog, and as he gets up to the counter, the bartender says, 'hey, you can't bring a dog in here,' so they guy says, 'well, I guess I understand, but this is my seeing-eye dog.' And so of course the bartender apologizes and gets the guy a beer. He sits down, and a few minutes later, another guy comes in, and he has a dog with him, too. The first guy sees him, and says, 'they don't allow dogs in here, so you'll have to tell them it's your seeing-eye dog.' The second guy agrees and goes up to the bar. When the bartender comes over, he says, 'hey, fella, you can't bring that dog in here.' And, of course, the second guy says, 'but he's my seeing-eye dog.' And the bartender says, 'yeah, right, I don't think so pal. That's a Chihuahua.' And the guy says… 'They gave me a Chihuahua!"

This time, Seth chuckled right along with Summer, tickling her ribs and making her breathless with laughter, just for good measure.

"What would you think about going to visit my Nana?" he asked suddenly once they had stopped giggling.

"Entirely-too-Jewish-, about-yay-high…crazy-for-her-Sethela-Nana?"

"That's the one," Seth replied, holding his breath.

Summer smiled. "I'd love to."

"So I sometimes used to wonder if you were The Nana's only grandchild…or just her favorite," Summer admitted, as she and Seth walked arm-in-arm down the boulevard towards Sophie's new apartment. "Seriously, not even Marissa's grandparents treat her that well, and that's amazing considering everyone else seems to think she invented shoes, or something."

Seth laughed. "I'm not even close to her only grandkid. You know, my dad has a brother, Max, and he has two daughters, Lauren and Esther, and they both have two kids now, and I forget all their names, but they're all under the age of four. Sophie's daughter Sarah has seven children, but Sarah never really got along with the rest of the family, so I don't even know if The Nana gets to see Sarah's kids. So…I think I must just be her favorite," Seth concluded blithely.

"I don't remember my grandparents, really," Summer said matter-of-factly.

"I know," Seth carefully tucked a lock of her hair back away from her face, then pulled her cap down a little more to cover the tips of her glowing ears. She grinned at him, silently expressing her appreciation. Her heart swelled when she thought about how well Seth had taken care of her this week that they'd been together. Sure, Anna was paying him, and yes, they'd fought... but he was so tender with her, still so gentle after all this time.

Seth smiled widely as they reached the door of the Nana's brownstone. He rang the bell, hearing the shrill shriek resound through the empty foyer. Nebulous shapes and colors behind frosted glass sharpened into a round, olive face, an aquiline nose, and wild springy curls that were frosted blond for the tedious winter months.

"Sethela!" The Nana cried jubilantly, embracing her grandson with all the fervor she could muster. Summer held onto the soft corduroy of Seth's coat, bunching the fabric in her fingers, hiding behind him. "And who have you brought with you?..." The Nana pushed Seth aside and drew a sharp breath when he sidled out of the way.

"Summer? Is that you?" Sophie asked, though she knew perfectly that it was. She engulfed Summer into an enthusiastic hug and then pulled back to inspect her carefully. "Have you been eating? You look too thin. Seth, has she been eating?" Sophie herded them both indoors, helping them to remove coats, hats and scarves.

"I've been eating," Summer bit her lip through her smile, powerless to be irritated with the Nana.

"Oh, sweetheart, I can't tell you how happy I am that you took my Sethela back...he loves you so much, you know," Sophie put her arm around Summer's shoulders, guiding her towards the kitchen.

"Uh...Nana, wait..." Seth's protest was lost as the Nana swept Summer farther away from him and from the front door.

"You just sit right here and let me get you some hot cider," Sophie pushed Summer towards a barstool gently and headed to the percolator, which was busy whistling and filling the kitchen with warm, aromatic steam. "Nothing like hot cider on a cold day," she prattled. Seth skid into the kitchen, a little breathlessly, and cleared his throat.

"Nana, may I see you in the hall for a moment?" he asked, his voice breaking.

"It's okay, Seth," Summer turned her face toward the open archway where he stood, and he abruptly closed his mouth. Sophie had all but ignored him as she bustled around the kitchen, and approached him with a warm mug a few seconds later.

"You two sit down and get warm," she admonished, more gentle than she had been in years. Seth slipped onto the barstool next to Summer, and let his grandmother pamper him with hot cider and fresh sugar cookies.

"Tell me everything that's been going on," she encouraged, her eyes shining.

"Well, Seth's been staying with me while my roommate is out of town, and he's been driving me crazy," Summer told the Nana conspiratorially. "All the time, he wants to do this, do that, go shopping, go running. I keep telling him that the holidays are for laying around and getting fat. He doesn't believe me."

Sophie laughed, and reached out to pinch Summer's cheek. "You let her lay around and get fat, do you hear me, Seth?"

Seth's hid a sly smile behind his hand. "Yes, Nana."

"What are you doing for Chanukah? I insist you come over!" she badgered.

"Nana, Nana...Summer and Ryan will be wallowing in their Protestant glory. We must celebrate alone," he shook his head, disappointed. Summer elbowed him in the ribs.

"Nana, Seth knows I converted," she rolled her eyes in Seth's general direction.

"Well, I'm sure glad. We couldn't let you marry into the family if you didn't."

Seth perked up. "What about Mom? You didn't make her convert."

Sophie shook her head, mournful. "Your father threatened to leave the family if we tried to make her convert. We were powerless against him."

"It's the eyebrows," Summer said seriously, taking a sip of cider.

Seth nodded emphatically in agreement. Sophie looked back and forth between them, unsure if she should laugh or scold them. Finally, Seth cracked and smiled hugely, and the Nana shook her head and ruffled his bouncy curls.

"Speaking of your mother and father, they're coming up to visit for the holidays... You must come stay with us," the Nana said again.

"I'd love to," Summer said, just as Seth said:

"We'll think about it."

He turned to stare at Summer, his mouth slack.

Sophie clapped her hands together, delighted. "Good!"

She refilled the percolator with apple juice, and then tugged Summer off of her barstool. "Come, ahava. I want to show you something."

"But, Nana..." Seth protested.

Summer smiled beatifically. "I'll be fine. We'll be right back," she squeezed his hand reassuringly, then allowed the Nana to pull her towards the back bedroom.

"Here," the Nana said, dropping her hand once they were in the chilly space of her guest room. Summer glided gracefully to a stop. Sophie began to dig through the cedar chest at the end of the bed.

"When my daughter got engaged to her husband, my sister and I made her bedecken...eh, a veil?"Sophie elaborated, in English. "I'm sure Sethela has told you...Sarai left before we could give it to her. She was very unhappy with me."

Summer heard Sophie's defeated sigh, from across the room.

"But now, I again will have a daughter, a granddaughter. And for your ayrusin...your engagement, you shall have it." Sophie came back, handed Summer the cold, lacy cloth.

Summer felt the delicate fabric, pressing it between her fingers. Sorrow crowded the back of her throat. Sophie was watching Summer carefully, and noticed the tears glistening in her dark eyes.

"What, calla? What is it?"

"I can't see it," Summer admitted, choked.

"It's too dark in here? Well, let me turn on a light," Sophie began to step around her towards the lamp.

Summer reached out and grabbed Sophie's arm gently. "No, Nana. I can't see it. I'm blind."

"You're..." Sophie searched Summer's open face, small tears spilling over blushing apple cheeks. She enveloped Summer in a hug, cradling Summer against her generous bosom.

"You shall wear it anyway," Sophie whispered, running her fingers across the back of Summer's head tenderly. Sophie stepped back and carefully creased the fabric, pinning it to Summer's hair and brushing locks back until it framed her face perfectly.

From the doorway, Seth stared in wonderment at his grandmother: the delicate manner in which she treated Summer, the way that Summer let Sophie flutter around her, touching and tucking her hair gently beneath the white lace. Summer looked like an angel, haloed by the warm afternoon sunlight; the creamy ivory of the veil in stark contrast with the sable locks of her hair.

He drew his breath, out of the corner of her eye, Sophie saw her grandson spying around the doorframe.

"What do you think, Sethela? Beautiful, no?"

"Yes, Nana," Seth agreed softly. "Very beautiful."

"Mmmmm," the Nana continued to primp; Summer flushed a hot shade of pink.

"Nana, I'm going around the corner to get a bottle of wine for tonight...do you need anything?"

"I have everything I need," Sophie replied, and Seth backed away from the doorway, almost unwilling to tear his eyes away. He was outside on the steps of the brownstone before he was able to breathe again.

He stumbled down the street towards the corner store blindly. He picked up the first bottle of red wine he could find, blanched when the clerk charged him fifty dollars. He shelled out the necessary cash, and clutched the brown paper-wrapped bottle to his chest. He fought past surly customers through the doors, and burst back out onto the sidewalk, taking deep gulps of air. He calmed himself by walking around the block twice before arriving back on his grandmother's doorstep.

He found Summer and Sophie in the kitchen, laughing and talking as if absolutely nothing had happened. He shook his head.

To be continued...

I can't stand by
And see you destroyed
I can't be here
And watch you burn up
So does it matter
If I give in easy?
So why
Is it so hard to get by? ...

Let's leave at sunrise
Let's live by the ocean
I don't mind
If we never come home at all
Steal the morning
So set in motion
In and out of love
And institutions
Cause I know
This can't last for long

--The Doves, "Pounding"