Dark Night, Hold Tight, part 24

A/N: Thank you, darling ducklings, for all of the excessively kind reviews. They are so special, and mean more to me than I could ever say. Some of you review so faithfully, and I smile whenever I see your names in my inbox. Thank you...

Summer woke to the too-chipper tone of her cell phone; it was the theme song to 21 Jump Street, which Seth had programmed her phone to play whenever he called her. She reached out an exploratory hand to the sheets beside her, they were cold, he'd been gone awhile.

"Hello?" she said groggily.

"Hello sunshine," he lowered his voice intimately. "I hated to leave you looking so sexy and bereft this morning, but I had to come in to work for a while."

"Bereft?"

"Very bereft. I'll have to fix that just as soon as I get home."

Summer bit back a smile. "When do you think you'll be back?"

"Three thirty, four at the latest," he swore. "I'm going to swing by Nana's and take her some flowers, but that won't take long."

"Mmm, okay, I'll be here." She hung up and stretched her deliciously sore muscles. Seth had given her quite a workout.

When they had been lovers in high school, they'd only been able to spend a handful of nights together actually sleeping in the same bed. In college, Summer found that Seth was a selfish sleeper, he liked to take up more than his fair share of the mattress, he hogged the covers, and he had a charmingly irritating habit of wrapping himself around whatever—or whomever—happened to be in the bed with him. She'd gotten used to waking up with him practically on top of her, his arms or legs—or sometimes both—curled around her body like he was afraid of drowning and she was the only thing saving him from strangulation by sheeting.

He hadn't changed. She'd woken up three different times during the night to push him back to his side of the bed, only to find him snuggled up to her shortly after. It had been odd to sleep in a bed with someone again, after being alone for so long. Summer wasn't sure she liked it.

Oh, who was she kidding? She loved it. She loved waking up to Seth's shallow breathing against her shoulder, his fingers wrapped around hers. She loved half-asleep kisses, followed by drowsy sex and an aching climax.

Summer dragged herself out of bed and into rose-scented bathwater, letting the bubbles pile up around her in the large garden tub. She had put on her favorite CD, Arcade Fire, and was humming along happily. She wanted to think that seducing Seth was a big mistake and that she needed to mull over it painstakingly, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She felt like shouting from the rooftops. She found she couldn't regret a single second of it.

When the CD finally ended, the water was tepid, and Summer got out and wrapped herself in her warm terrycloth bathrobe. Slipping down the hall towards the kitchen, she fixed breakfast, and then ate in front of the TV while she listened to the morning news. Nothing earth-shattering had occurred the night before in their dark and dirty city; nothing of course but hot sex with Seth. Summer suppressed a giddy giggle and reminded herself about being a grownup.

She went about her routine, doing her pilates, reading and thinking about calling Anna. Summer didn't want to bother her, but she felt like she was keeping something from Anna by not calling her to tell her what had happened. At the same time, she wasn't even sure she should tell Anna.

Seth was home by two forty five; she was out on the patio when she heard him come through the front door and shed his jacket over the back of the sofa. He joined her, leaning over to administer a thorough kiss before collapsing onto the chaise next to hers.

"Did you go by your grandmother's?"Summer inquired politely, turning the page in her book.

"I called this afternoon and Dad was already there. He wants us both to come over later."

"When?"

"Six?" Seth guessed.

"I'm sorry, was that a question?"

"Six," he repeated, certain. He released a long sigh, relaxed against the cushions. "What are you reading?" he quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"Penthouse Letters," Summer replied casually.

Seth choked.

"Relax, Cohen. I'm reading Franny and Zooey."

"You know, I never liked Salinger," he frowned.

"I know."

"They made us read Raise the Roofbeams, Carpenter when I was in college and I loathed the experience from beginning to end."

"Salinger's not for everyone."

"He's just so damned pretentious."

"He has his moments."

"...so are we going to fuck, or what?"

Summer dropped her book, "God, I thought you'd never ask." She reached over and pulled him to her by his shirt collar, devouring his mouth. He cupped her bottom in his palms and then hoisted her up, encouraging her to wrap her legs around his waist. She complied.

An hour later Seth was staring at the ceiling contemplating a sandwich when the phone rang. Summer ignored it. He rolled over onto his side to face her, propping his head up on his hand, elbow bent.

"Summer, I've been thinking," he began, his palm starting to sweat.

"Hmmm?" Summer responded absent-mindedly, a happy smile gracing her full mouth. She stretched her arms above her head languidly.

"You know how we talked last night about Anna?"

Summer rolled over towards him. "Yeah? What about it?" Her voice took on a strange quality, a little choked, a little bit of something else that he couldn't place.

"Well I've been thinking about it."

"Cohen," her voice wavered.

"I want you to move in with me. With us. With me and Ryan."

Summer closed her eyes, struggling with the urge to lash out at him for being the same old impulsive Seth Cohen that he'd always been. Didn't he know that he couldn't keep getting her hopes up? Didn't he know that he couldn't keep breaking her heart? "You don't know what you're saying."

"Yes, I do. I've thought about this."

"You've thought about it a whole 18 hours? Wow!" she snarked.

"Summer, listen," Seth lowered his voice in that intimate way she had always loved, the alternately rough- and smooth-sounding lilt of his voice, it made her think of coziness and warmth. "Ry and I, we've talked about it. We've talked about getting a bigger apartment uptown, something on the bottom floor so that you could come and go as you pleased. And we would have a great time together…again," he argued passionately.

Summer's dark eyes glittered with tears. "What about when you find someone, Seth?" She bit her bottom lip. "What happens when you want to get married?"

Seth drank in the sight of her, so darkly beautiful, so tragic. He wanted so badly to tell her that he already wanted to get married, that he'd been ready for years. "That will never happen, Summer. It's always been you," he said softly, sitting up next to her in bed.

"I can't take that freedom away from you. I won't," Summer sat up also, resolved and defiant, she pulled the sheet up under her breasts modestly.

"Summer, have you been with anyone since we broke up?" Seth asked suddenly.

She turned on him, angry and embarrassed. "You know I haven't!"

"Neither have I," Seth said immediately.

Summer's mouth dropped open in surprise, and her shoulders followed. "I'm sorry, Cohen."

"I'm not. I wanted the chance to fight for you," he admitted, feeling a little stupid as he did so. "It took me so long to 'get over you,'" Seth gestured with air-quotes, more for his own benefit than for hers. "But it never really happened. And then when I saw you again…"

"I don't think you can decide on a whim that you want to take on a blind...roommate," she stumbled, unable to find a better word. "I can't move in with you."

"Awww," Seth pulled her close, pressed his lips against her forehead, whispering against her temple, teasing. "Where's that selfish girl I fell in love with? The one that sabotaged every date I ever had with Anna, because if you couldn't have me, no one was going to?"

"You're a fine one to talk, you wreaked just as much havoc for me and Zach."

"We both knew," Seth said softly.

"Seth, I have to talk to Anna. This...between you and me...it's gotten out of control, and only Anna can ground me. No matter what our problems, or how crazy everything seems...Anna and I can always make sense of things."

"I understand," Seth wrapped his arms around his bent knees.

Summer snorted. "No you don't. You're the most spontaneous person I know. You don't think a damn thing out, do you?"

"No," Seth admitted, laughing. "But I know that I want you. I know that I want you to live with us," he corrected.

"What does Ryan think about that, really?" Summer asked sharply.

"He'll learn to love it."

"Have you even talked to him?" she rolled her eyes.

"Yes," Seth answered so innocently that Summer knew he was lying.

"You're such a jackass, Cohen, I swear," she swung her legs off the side of the bed, taking his bedsheet with her as she stood.

"Where are you going?" he whined.

"To take a bath," she traipsed into the adjoining bathroom and started the water.

"Can I come?" Seth asked coyly.

"No."

She could practically hear him pouting.

"Well, okay, but you have to sit on the mat," she relented.

Seth followed her like a happy puppy, leaning his back against the side of the tub, his bare ass against the plush bathmat as she sank down in the soapy water.

"Will you wash my back for me?"

"No, lazy, I won't."

Summer began to lather a loofah and smacked him on the head with it before stretching her arm over her head and scrubbing her neck and shoulders.

Seth picked at the strands of the carpet beneath him.

"How did you and Anna get so close, anyway? Didn't you hate each other?"

"No...we just thought the other one was slutty."

"Oh, and that's so different," Seth replied dryly.

"It is different. She wanted you, I wanted you, I got you, she left, she got over it. When...when Marissa called her, she came back to Newport without even knowing what had happened to me."

"And you just let her bring you back here," he filled in.

"I didn't have a choice. She didn't let me have a choice," she corrected, quietly.

"Well, it seems like you have her wrapped around your little finger now."

"Yeah."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, what changed?"

"Nothing changed. Okay, that's not exactly true," Summer stopped, pressing her fingers into her eyelids as if she were fighting off a headache.

"What...what I like about you and me, Cohen, is that...I like when you bully me," Summer admitted, haltingly. "I like that you don't take any crap. You treat me...the way Anna used to," she ducked her head, a little bashfully.

"The way Anna used to?" Seth clarified, his eyebrows rising.

"The way Anna used to," Summer sighed, "before she fell in love with me."

"Before she who now?"

"You heard me," Summer retorted, but without the usual accompanying zing.

Seth took a deep breath, tried to approach the admission with logic instead of jealousy. Jealousy or the urge to immediately grab a video camera. "You think Anna approaches you differently now because she's in love with you?"

"Kind of," Summer's nervous fingers played with the loofah in her hand.

"Do you love her back?" Seth asked after a moment.

"I don't know," Summer huffed, dropping the sponge into the bathwater. "I don't know."

Seth brought his hand up to his mouth and 'hmmm'ed behind it.

"So Anna lets up on you because she loves you," and I don't let up on you because I love you. Don't you see the difference?

"Yes," Summer answered.

"Yes, you see the difference?" Seth asked, startled.

Summer frowned. "Huh?"

"Nevermind. You were saying?"

"Yes, I love her...just not that way," Summer elaborated. "It's complicated. Nothing is simple anymore."

"I see," Seth answered slowly. They were treading dangerous, slippery ground now.

"So, you don't want to move in with us because you're afraid you won't have it so good anymore?" Seth asked.

"No, that's not it," Summer denied quickly. "I just don't want to hurt her."

Seth snorted. "God, this is a comedy of errors if I've ever heard one. Anna wants to put off her wedding because she's so afraid of what will happen to you, that you'll be hurt. Meanwhile, you think Anna's in love with you, and you don't want to let her get married because that would mean you would have to move out, and that might hurt her. And poor Kurt doesn't know what in the hell is going on, because neither of you will tell him a damn thing!"

"That about sums it up," Summer agreed dismally.

"Fucking unbelievable," Seth stood up and left the bathroom without another word.

Summer found him in the kitchen a few minutes later making a fresh pot of coffee. It was as if they'd never argued.

"You want me to pour you a cup?" he asked.

"Sure," she sank down into her usual chair at the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry, Cohen...I didn't mean to upset you, earlier...talking about Anna."

"You didn't," he leaned up against the kitchen cabinet, facing her. "I just think you're both fucked up," he said honestly.

"That we are," Summer nodded. Seth stared at her thoughtfully.

Summer noticed the wall clock was no longer ticking. She probably needed to change the batteries. The ice machine dumped cubes into the tray, it's crystalline clatter intensifying her headache.

"Well, hey, Ryan is going to be at The Nana's later tonight—why don't we talk to him about it then?"

"You seriously haven't even asked him yet?"

Seth fidgeted. "Ryan won't care, he's in school so he's gone all the time anyway."

"It can't hurt to talk to him," Summer finally said, grudgingly. Ryan would never go for it. He was Seth's balance the way Anna was Summer's. He would never let Seth leap into something like this.

"That's all I ask," Seth agreed, laying a kiss on the top of her head. "I'm going to go get dressed." He whistled as he left the room.

Summer put her chin in her hand and sighed.

To be continued...