Continuation to the "Living Can Be" Series.

Cannibal Jello---"Living Together Can Be"

"Living Together Can Be" Parts 2 to now---by me.

Please read the others before this one.

Warning: Contains male/male interaction. If this bothers you, please do yourself a favor and not read it. K? You'll only upset yourself further.

Disclaimer: I do not own Resident Evil or the first story…but I do however, own this story.

Living Together Can Be…Gross.

Scene 4: The Bathroom

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"Hey Dave!"

"What?"

"Do we have anymore tee-pee?"

"…tee-pee?"

"Toilet paper."

"Check under the sink."

"…found 'em!"

"You okay in there?"

"No, not really. I think lunch is bothering me."

"You think or you know?"

"I know. My stomach hurts."

"What did you eat? Beans?"

"Ha ha. Very funny."

"I'm serious."

Sigh. "No."

"…then what?"

"I had a sandwich earlier…"

"Did you eat sourdough?"

"No, wheat. Wheat doesn't bother me like sourdough does."

"Was the mayonnaise or lettuce any good?"

"Possibly."

"…you still trading at work?"

"Occasionally."

"Do it today?"

"Maybe."

"Okay…"

"Okay, yeah. I did. With James."

"What did he give you in exchange for whatever you gave him?"

"Banana milk for my chocolate chip cookies."

"…dumbass."

"What?"

"Chances are he gave you one that expired."

"Why you say that?"

"Because the last time this happened, you were puking your guts out from a rotten egg salad sandwich he traded you."

"…."

"So, you're a dumbass for falling for it twice."

"Am not!"

"And the smell that day was…ugh."

"It was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"What else did you have that day?"

"Besides the salad?"

"Duh."

"Ranch dressing."

"What?"

"I had ranch dressing mixed in with it to counter-act the taste of the salad."

"Fuckin' gross, Kev."

"But it tasted great! Smelled okay, too!"

"It made you sick!"

"It tasted great!"

"You're still a dumbass."

Sigh. "I know."

"Was the milk expired or not?"

"Hard to say."

"Did it taste funny?"

"I dunno—hey, Dave!"

"What now, Kev?"

"Come here!"

"Why?"

"Just come here!"

"You couldn't have gone through all four rolls of toilet paper already."

"No, still got plenty."

"Then what?"

"Just come here already!"

"I'm not going to wipe your ass, Kev."

"You will once we grow old together."

"That'll be the day…"

"Damn right. Now come here!"

"No."

"Why?"

"Wipe your own ass."

"I'm not asking you to wipe my ass, I'm asking you to come here!"

"No."

"Please?"

"What do you want? Just tell me."

"It'll be a lot funnier if you just come here…"

"It'll be a lot safer for my health if you just tell me."

"Buzzkill."

"Dumbass."

"You'll laugh your ass off, Dave!"

"…it's a poop joke, isn't it?"

Defeated sigh. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Let me guess…if I were to go over there you're gonna tell me that your turd looks a lot like George during a hangover?"

"Um, no. Off the mark."

"Then what?"

"Although that is kinda funny. I'll remember to do that one next time. Anyway, what I was gonna say was that I tried to clone Jim, but I had to flush him down the toilet because he came out the wrong color."

"…."

"…Dave?"

"That actually is kinda funny."

"Told you!" Flushes toilet.

"Do you want me to make you some soup with crackers?"

"Nope. Made plenty of it in the bowl."

"…sick bastard."

"You want Chinese? I'm in the mood for Chinese."

"How could you after what you just—Christ, Kevin!"

Triumphant smile. "Smells great, don't it!"

"It's…it's…"

"A masterpiece!"

"Gut wrenching! Jesus Kevin, open the damn window!"

"Bask in the glory that is of me!"

"I'll bask you in the glory that is of my fist if you don't open the damn window!"

"Okay, okay! Geez."

Opens window.

"Fuckin' disgusting, Kevin."

"It was a good one!"

"Did you wash your hands?"

"No."

"Do it. I won't touch you unless you do."

"Fine. I will."

"And no Chinese. You're eating soup and crackers."

"But Dave—"

Sloshing noise is heard.

"Oh shit—"

"KEVIIIIN!"

"…should've flushed before using too much tee-pee."

"Kevin, dammit! You clogged the toilet—again!"

"Again?"

"Yes, again?"

"…."

"I hate cleaning up after you!"

"Well…"

"Well what?"

"You're a plumber, right? Can't you fix it?"

"…."

"Dave?"

"…."

"Davey?"

"…."

"Uh…snookums?"

"…leave."

"Huh?"

"Leave this apartment before I decide to kick your ass. You promised me you wouldn't say that as long as we were together."

"Ouch…forgot."

"Leave before I change my mind about giving you a head start."

Kevin grabs keys and disappears.

Chuckle. "Dumbass. Now I get to have the whole apartment to myself and I get to clean up his mess."

Starts gathering his tools.

"Chinese does sound good…"