Chapter three: Scum and Clues
As I followed Rum Tum Tugger along the stone fences that separated the lawns, I wondered what had happened to him. His mangled paw looked awfully weak and gave him a slight limp, yet he carried himself with dignity. I was starting to secretly admire him, even though he acted like nothing mattered accepted his own happiness.
Suddenly, I heard a screechy laugh. Rum Tum Tugger stopped and glared ahead. Then I saw them, two orange, black, and white calico cats slinking towards them, grinning stupidly. The smell of garbage hung around them and the female had a string of filthy, dime store. fake pearls around her neck.
"Oh lovely," I thought, "Time to meet the neighborhood scum bags"
"Well look who it is," Rum Tum Tugger snorted, "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. Look, save me the lecture about how not having a reproductive system is the most rewarding thing in the world. I'll take your word for it."
The tom snarled and the queen looked almost forlorn.
"And I'll keep mine thank you very much," he added, causing another snarl from the tom.
"He's just jealous Jerrie," the queen, who I now knew was Rumpleteazer purred, rubbing the tom's shoulder.
"Lay off sis," the tom, Mungojerrie growled.
A deep cruel laugh echoed from a clump of bushes in the lawn next to us. I caught sight of an enormous dark orange and white striped cat with a scraggly red mane and huge long claws. His face was set with deep craggily scars.
"Macavity," Rum Tum Tugger glowered, "What are you doing hanging around with these scum?"
The huge cat, Macavity just laughed.
"If it isn't Rum Tum Tugger," he jeered, peering up at him. "You old puffball. I see you've been cruising the gay district for a change. That little kitten behind you sure is a cute one."
I didn't know how to respond to that.
"You gonna teach us some of the moves he taught you?" Macavity asked, grinning showing razor sharp teeth.
"No, he'd rather teach you them himself," Rum Tum Tugger smirked, "that is if you feel up to it."
Macavity came fully out of the bushes and I could fully appreciate the massive size of him. He laughed again, his eyes glaring straight ahead.
"I can see you're scratching for a fight," Rum Tum Tugger commented, "Alright, you got one."
Macavity sprung up on the wall, baring his fangs.
"Ooh, very scary," Rum Tum Tugger simpered, craning his neck to look back at me. "I can see you want to show off for my friend Mistofelees."
I shook my head frantically.
"So I'll just make one thing quite clear," he continued, glaring back at Macavity, "I won't just sit idly by and watch three take on one." He scraped his claws against the wall and snarled, "Bring it on asshole!"
Macavity's own thick claws shot out, growling as loud as a broken truck. I hissed and extended my own claws. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer hissed back, revealing rotting fangs.
Then Macavity burst into raucous laughter, his whole body quaking.
"Oh that is scary Tugger," he chortled, "I'm wetting myself with fright. And as for you, sweet thing," he continued looking over at me, "you can be sure we'll be meeting up in the not too distant future. And when we do you'd better run for the hills kitty. Until then . . ."
The huge cat jumped down into the opposite garden, followed by the calicos. Rum Tum Tugger snorted and scowled, continuing his way along the wall.
"Hey Tugger," I called to him.
"Yeah?" he grunted, apparently not caring that I'd shortened his name.
"Seems to me like you're back tracking a little," I told him.
"What makes you think that?" he asked.
"Well," I smirked, "you told them I'm your friend."
Tugger just grunted again.
* * *
We eventually arrived at the location of the most recent murder. It was a garage that smelled slightly musty. I stopped outside the door, sniffing at the pools of blood on the grass. Tugger shoved the door open and I poked my head inside. A thin trail of blood continued into the garage. The body of the black and white tom was sprawled out on the seat of a motorbike.
"You know I think I can tell you how the last moments of Alonzo's life panned out," I murmured.
"Really?" Tugger mused, sounding less than interested.
"Yes," I smiled, sniffing the ground by the motorbike. "He was attacked outside the garage. That's obvious by the blood spatter outside." I jumped up on the handlebars to get a look at the corpse. "Somehow, he dragged himself up here. Not bad with that wound."
The poor tom's throat was gapping, the bone visible. His eyes were already glassy. Inhaling, I caught the same scent on his corpse as the one on my lawn.
"Tugger, I thought you said Alonzo wasn't interested in sex," I called down.
"Only because he couldn't keep it up," Tugger scratched himself behind the ear, "So what?".
"But take a whiff," I told him. "Alonzo had gotten very excited before he was murdered."
I jumped down to the floor.
"The way I see it," I continued, "the thing connecting the two toms together is sex. It could be mating gone wrong, but more likely it is a stronger tom, eliminating the competition. Or else our murder has a general to fornication."
"In my day, we called it screwing," Tugger growled, "In it's still my opinion, that it's a god damn can opener."
"Be reasonable Tugger," I growled back. "A can opener didn't do this, this was done by teeth." I pawed the ground as I thought, then said, "If I'm going to solve this, I'll need to talk to as many cats as possible in this god forsaken neighborhood. And," I smirked, "you're, just the cat to help me Tugger."
Tugger scowled and headed for the exit. Then he stopped.
"Tell you what," he said, "I'm going to take you to see someone tomorrow who could help. He's a real brainiac."
He smirked as he squeezed out of the door.
"You're not the only smartass in the neighborhood, you know."