"Dess! Come seeeeeee!"
I looked up from the page of the book I had been reading and over to Jimmy, hunched over my laptop. He was all the way across the fourteen foot long room from me. And I was too damn lazy to actually get my ass off the couch.
"But that means moving," I complained, my hand dropping limply to my side, the book hitting the floor with a loud thud.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Leana asked, nudging me with her foot so hard I fell off the couch and just lay there, face downwards on the purple carpeted floor. Which, incidentally, would eternally smell of spilled beer. Thank you Johnny.
"I'm tired," I informed her, voice muffled by the layers of hair that had fallen around my head when I landed on the floor as well as the floor itself.
"Desdemona Lillian will you please get up off the floor and come fucking see this!"
I turned my head toward Jimmy before bring my arms up and crossing them beneath my head to try and make myself more comfortable. It worked to some extent until Leana thought it would be okay to rest her extremely bony heels on my back.
I sat up, rubbing the spot where she had decided to torture me with the knitting needles she calls feet. "I knew that would get you up," she grinned smugly as I used anything and everything to help me haul myself to my feet. I stumbled on my way over to Jimmy. Lack of sleep is a bitch on coordination.
He scooted over on the chair he was on and pulled me down beside him before pushing the laptop over so it rested across both of our legs. "There is now officially sixty-nine comments on your memory blog." He stated excitedly. "No one can add another!"
I laughed. "I know I do. I checked it earlier."
"Not ever!" he yelled. "Spread the word! Not just your legs!"
Leana and I were both in hysterics as he yelled at the top of his lungs.
"Well, it's only really you that adds to is. So if you can control yourself and leave it alone we're good."
"Can't control myself around you, honey," he winked. Leana was on the floor, clutching her sides she was laughing so hard.
"No one can, don't worry," I told him, completely straight faced.
His smile fell and he eyed me with sarcasm shining in those smoky blue eyes. "You're modest," he stated dryly.
"Can you blame me?" I shot back with a laugh.
"Not with an ass like that."
"Exactly," I shrugged like it was an every day conversation. Fuck. With us, it wasn't exactly far off an every day conversation.
"Ooft," he sighed as Leana stood back up, still laughing, with laughter tears streaming from her eyes and smudging her mascara.
We both eyed him with confusion until he shrugged and started spinning toward the door and leaving us alone with a loud slam.
"You married that," I pointed to the door Jimmy had left through.
"At least he's not a conceited fucker."
"Yeah, he's the conceited fucker's best friend."
She cocked her head to the side, sheer confusion plastered on her angel's face. I shook with laughter as she tried to figure out what I had meant by my last comment. I'm not even sure what the fuck I meant by it.
"Where are they all anyway?" she asked, breaking free of the confusion by simply changing the subject.
"Absolutely no idea." I told her, falling back onto the small couch I'd occupied all day since Brian woke me up at half four in the morning just for sex. Which was why I was so tired now.
"Nope, get your ass up, we're going to go find them. Won't be all that hard considering the wonderful creation that is mobilical technology." She grinned and pulled me up again.
"Mobilical?" I questioned as she led me by the wrist from the bus and out into the big bad world I wanted to avoid as much as possible for at least a little while.
In fact, I wanted to just stay inside for the entire duration of our stay in Germany. I just couldn't make myself like the place or the people. Even though they were nothing but insanely polite to me whenever I had to interact with them. You need to be more open minded, you judgemental bitch. Ah I'd missed that little voice inside my head. She hadn't spoken for weeks. I thought I'd killed her.
I completely missed out on Leana's answer as I lost myself in my mind and she immediately located the boys and Val. I tripped so many times while she dragged me along behind her that I was amazed I didn't fall flat on my face. The ground went from hard concrete to softer grass beneath my clumsy feet. I was finally allowed to fall down and stay down when we reached the guys, all laying about in the middle of a field with various bottles of alcohol spread around them in different states of emptiness.
"What the fuck's wrong with her?" I heard Matt ask. Think he was talking about me?
Nope. He wasn't. Leana was trying to pull Johnny up to dance with her. Something about wanting to dance with someone the same height as her for a change.
"What's wrong?"
I opened my eyes to see Brian hovering above me, once arm crossed over my body to support himself, or to keep me from escaping the question? I shrugged as best I could while laying on the grass. He raised an eyebrow. Damn. Why couldn't I do that?
"Just tired," I told him.
The look in his eyes told me he didn't believe me. The look in Jimmy's eyes above him told me I had to move or I was going to get soaked with that bottle of beer in his hands. I hooked my leg around Brian's and used it to slide myself beneath him further, hiding underneath his torso. He twisted off me as soon as the cool liquid hit his back and began chasing Jimmy around the field, yelling that he was going to get an ass kicking while the rest of us laughed at them.
I moved closer to the small circle the guys had made and leaned against Zacky's side as he stared at the sky. "Look!" he tipped my head up to see the multicolored sky. "It's really blue over here and really pink over here!" he pointed at the two sections he was talking about. "Like a boy and a girl!" he got more and more excited as he spoke. "This part of the sky's gender confused," he informed me, pointing to the bright purple stripe in the sky, a contemplative look on his face. "Why is the sky gender confused?" he called out to everyone, wanting an answer.
The only answer he got was resounding laughter and a hurt look etched onto his own face. Jimmy fell down beside him and started explaining that the sky birds and bees worked differently to everyone else's. Brian pretty much collapsed in the middle of the group, breathing heavily.
"You need to stop smoking," I smiled, nudging him with my foot.
"I'll stop if you stop," he puffed out.
"I stopped two months ago. You've been too drunk to notice," I grinned as his head snapped around to me. He stared at me as he thought back. It's always been easy to see when he tries to think. 'Tries' being the operative word.
"Fine, I'll stop," he mumbled eventually.
I yawned and fell backwards onto the grass. I must've fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was staring at the ceiling of the Avenged tour bus. I knew it was theirs because of the mural of flesh eating zombies splayed across the white metal.
"Oh you're awake!" a happy Leana said loudly on seeing me staring at the ceiling.
I sat up in the dimly lit room and noticed we were alone like we were earlier today. "Where is everyone?" my voice was hoarse. How long was I asleep?
"Jimmy found a bar, as usual, so they all went out. We've to go meet them there now that you're awake," she handed me a glass of water as she spoke.
"Can I at least have ten minutes to shower?"
She looked me over once and nodded, deciding that I obviously needed one. She pushed me towards the boys' bathroom. I fought her every step of the way and managed to run to my own bus as she opened up the bathroom door. No sane — or insane — woman would ever go into their bathroom.
Exactly twenty minutes later, Leana was pulling me into a traditionally themed bar. The first thing that caught my eye was a flash of acid green contacts and platinum hair, bleached beyond repair and attached to those Barbie pink lips; my husband.