Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or plotlines of the Twilight Saga and the following is a form of fiction based on the brilliance of Stephenie Meyer's work.
Author: ToryD
A/N So sorry for the long delay. This chapter has not been proof read by my Beta so please forgive the errors but I did promise a reader that I would post this chapter before the weekend ended, so here it is. Chapter seventeen is ready to be proof read if anyone wants to volunteer to act as a temporary Beta while my regular Beta is away. Please just shoot me a private message if you're interested so I can email you the chapter…warning I'm terrible and you will have to contend with multiple grammatical errors, as you will discover with the below un-corrected chapter.
Title: A Forbidden Forever
Chapter Sixteen
Five days after Christmas
"Have you heard from Rosalie?" Alice asked Emmett with a feigned casualness that she hoped went undetected.
"She had to go to Paris for some fashion emergency," Emmett said with a long suffering sigh as he flicked through the vast array of channels on the large flat screen. "She doesn't know how long she's going to be away but said not to worry if I didn't hear from her for a few weeks."
Alice sought Edward's gaze across the room as she digested Emmett's words. 'I still can't get a read on her! What do you think this means?' she asked her mind reading brother.
Edward lifted his shoulders in a slight, almost indecipherable shrug in order to answer Alice's unspoken question, wishing that his own gift didn't' have its own quirk with distance limitations. "I guess Rose won't make it back in time for the Seahawk's playoff game," Edward stated as he tried to turn his brother's lonely thoughts to a happier topic without being to blatant.
"No, I guess I need to find someone else to go with," Emmett said as clicked off the television as he rose from the sofa to walk over to where Edward stood. "You want to go Edward?"
"No, you should ask Jasper," Edward advised helpfully, knowing that Jasper was more of a football fan than himself.
"Alice?" Emmett asked with an amused expression on his broad, pale face.
"I already told him to mark the date," Alice advised with an impish grin on her pretty mouth.
"Great!" Emmett said with more enthusiasm than he had shown in the last three day since Rosalie had disappeared. "I think I'll go on over to see if he wants to go for a jump," Emmett announced as he leaned down to kiss his sister's cheek. "Want to come?" he asked both Edward and Alice.
"No, I have to meet up with Bella at the office," Edward said as he glanced at his watch to see that it was going on six in the evening.
"Alice?" Emmett asked with an expectant expression.
"No, I think I'll pass, I promised Esme that I would help her pick out a dress for her and Carlisle's anniversary date," she said almost absently as she fixed her worried gaze upon Edward strained face.
"Okay, I'm off then," Emmett said as he walked toward the back entrance of Carlisle and Esme's home towards the garage.
"You're telling her tonight," Alice said in the form of a statement rather than a question.
"Yes," Edward sighed out as he met her anxious expression with one of his own. "Any hint of how it will turn out?" he questioned with a wiry smile that did little to hide his extreme tension.
Shaking her head Alice frowned. "I see two outcomes, but you know that I can't see anything that will show itself as the truth until she makes a decision," she advised her brother softly.
"That's what I thought," Edward sighed out dejectedly. "What do you think she will do?" he asked with a strained intenseness about his eyes that attested to his nervousness.
"It's a lot to take in Edward," Alice cautioned slowly as she walked over to her brother who stood looking out at the forest. "She might not be able to accept it…what we are. You need to be prepared to…" her voice tailed off as if she didn't know if she should finish her sentence.
"…let her go," he finished for her as he read her unspoken words. Edward closed his eyes against the pain that Alice's words had wrought in his already tortured mind. "I don't know if I can let her go," he responded in such a pain ridden tone that Alice actually gasped out loud.
"Edward," she called to him with concern in her lilting voice. "I'm sorry," she said simply as she didn't know what else she could say to offer him any comfort.
Edward smiled gently as he reached out and pulled his favorite sister into his stone hard embrace, something that he didn't normally do since neither he nor Alice were prone to physical displays of affection. "Don't be sorry Alice, for whatever Bella decides; I don't regret one second of the last five weeks."
Alice remained silent as she leaned into her brother's strong shoulder, knowing that if Bella decided that she couldn't live with the truth of Edward's existence that… No! She pushed the unwelcome thought away as she couldn't quite bring herself to think what it would do to Edward if Bella refused to accept the truth.
Edward sighed deeply as he read his sister's concerned thoughts.
"Sorry," Alice muttered aloud as she leaned back to smile sheepishly up at his beautiful face.
Edward merely smiled as he dropped his arms to his sides. "I need to go," he said with a resigned tone that served to validate his growing fear of his upcoming conversation with Bella.
Nodding her head in agreement, Alice watched with a heavy heart as he turned and walked slowly, so very uncommonly slowly from his normal self assured gait out of the house while wondering if there was to be a much deserved happy ending for her sweet, kind hearted brother, wondering if he would indeed survive if he were to be denied the one thing that he wanted most in this world…Bella.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"Hi Charlie," Bella greeted the security guard who she had become friends with over the last month. "Did you have a nice Christmas?"
"Sure did, and you Bella? Did you enjoy your holiday?" Charlie asked as he rose from his seated position behind the front desk to accompany her to the bank of elevators.
Bella smiled joyously as she remembered the magical day she had spent with Edward and his family, "I had a very nice Christmas," she replied with a bright smile that warmed Charlie's heart.
"Good, you and Mr. Cullen have any special New Year's Eve plans?" he asked as he reached out to push the button to summons the elevator.
"No, we haven't really planned anything," Bella replied as she walked by Charlie's side.
The elevator bell announced its arrival just a few seconds before the doors slid smoothly open. "Here you go kid," Charlie said as he placed his beefy arm over the door's sensor so it wouldn't begin to close as Bella entered. "Is it going to be a late night?"
"I'm not sure," Bella answered as a slight frown drew her brows together across her forehead as she recalled the strangeness of Edward's behavior over the last two days, as if something important was bothering him.
"Well I get off at ten so if I don't see you have a Happy New Year," Charlie advised with a wide smile.
"Thanks, and Happy New Year to you and Ruth too," Bella returned the good wishes to Charlie and his wife as the doors began to slide shut. Once the elevator started its ascent Bella's smile faded into a concerned frown as she began to wonder why Edward hadn't mentioned any plans for New Years Eve as he normally tried to schedule their time together at least a week in advance and it seemed odd that he hadn't even broached the subject once. The elevator's bell announced its arrival to the twenty-second floor just as seconds before the doors slid smoothly open. Bella felt a strange sense of foreboding wash over her as she exited the elevator to walk towards Edward's executive office suite.
Placing her purse in her desk drawer she walked slowly towards Edward's opened door, again wondering about his strange behavior as he normally met her at the elevator and kissed her breathless, something that she had become very accustom too over the last month. "Edward?" she called out with an uncertain tone that she wished she could better disguise.
Edward tried to relax his tense frame as he unclenched his tightly coiled fists. Rising to his feet he drew in a deep breath and slowly walked towards the door. "In here Bella," he called out, his normally velvet voice sounding strangely rough, even to his own ears.
Bella walked into his office with a wide smile gracing her beautiful face, not noticing the tension he was hiding. "Hi," she greeted almost shyly as she walked to his side to slip her arms around his neck.
Edward pulled her gently into his arms and leaned down to brush his cool lips across hers in a brief kiss that seemed odd in place of his normally more passionate offerings. "Hi yourself," he answered almost stiltedly as he stared down at her with his golden eyes intent on her features.
Bella frowned slightly at the tense look on Edward's perfect face. "Hey," she whispered lightly as she reached out to caress his ice cold cheek, something she no longer seemed to notice as she had become accustom too Edward's odd body temperature over the last few weeks. "Are you okay?" she asked with concern alighting within her chocolate brown eyes.
Edward pursed his lips tightly as he released her from his embrace to walk back to take his chair behind his desk. "Will you please close the door? I need to…talk to you," he advised in a reserved tone that immediately put Bella on alert.
After shutting the door softly, Bella crossed Edward's plush beige carpet to seat herself on one of the rich leather chairs in front of his large mahogany desk.
Edward watched Bella with a barely hidden anxiety in his golden eyes, knowing that the next thirty minutes would determine the course of the rest of his existence. After several seconds of telling silence he carefully placed his hands, palm side down upon the smooth wood surface of his desk. "I have wanted to talk to you about this for some time now," he began without looking directly at her, not wanting to be distracted by her beauty. "I guess I should start at the beginning."
Bella sat unmoving as a real sense of fear began to wash through her as she knew in her heart that Edward was about to discuss something that would change the course of their relationship forever, something that he seemed almost afraid to tell her. "Edward?" she called to him softly wanting to look into his eyes to gage for herself his strange mood.
Holding up one of his hands, Edward silently halted her interruption. "Please let me get through this as best I can," he pleaded softly as he smiled tenderly at her concerned gaze. "Before I tell you…I just want you to know that I love you and I don't regret a minute of our time together should…" he broke off mid sentence unable to voice the words that predicted her walking away from him forever.
Bella felt her heart sink into her stomach at the dire direction that Edward's words were leading. "You're scarring me Edward," she whispered as she stared at his too gorgeous face with a real fear of loss entering her eyes.
Wincing at the fear he saw plainly displayed on her face Edward stiffened as he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms and promise that nothing would every come between them. But knowing that he had no choice now but to tell her the truth he sighed softly and then shored up his resolve to continue with his confession. "My family and I are not all we appear to be. If fact were really not at all what we pretend to be," he said with a deep defeated sigh.
"I don't understand," Bella responded softly as she stared intently into his anxious golden eyes.
Edward looked away from her confused expression, cursing himself as a coward when he couldn't find the courage within himself to watch her reaction to his next sentence. "We're….," his voice broke as he struggled to get out the word. "Vampires."
Bella sat motionless as she stared unblinkingly at Edward's unmoving tense form not sure if she had heard him correctly. After a brief silence she called to him to bring his distraught gaze to her. "Edward?"
Drawing in a deep, unneeded breath, Edward looked into Bella's beautiful face. "I'm sorry Bella, I wish…" his voice tailed off as he sprang to his feet and for once didn't bother with the pretense to match his speed to that of a human as he crossed to the window to gaze at the setting sun.
Utterly stunned, Bella watched as her view of Edward blurred briefly before her very eyes as he all but disappeared from behind his desk only to appear almost magically at the floor to ceiling windows overlooking downtown Portland. "Vampire? As in Bram Stoker's Dracula?" she asked with a nervous laugh feeling so utterly lost in this most bizarre of conversations.
Edward murmured a soft "Yes," in the same defeated tone that had begun his confession causing Bella to gasp aloud as he confirmed that she did indeed hear him correctly.
"Vampire," Bella repeated the word softly for her own benefit in an attempt to comprehend the magnitude of Edward's admission.
"Yes, Vampire. As in the undead…bloodsucking leaches who feed upon the all too unsuspecting human race," he said with a self loathing tone that he didn't bother to hide.
Bella slumped heavily back into the chair as if her small frame suddenly couldn't support her. Her mind was racing at the knowledge that Edward was a vampire. That her Edward preyed upon humans for their blood; that he killed innocent humans in order to exist. Swallowing hard past the lump in her throat Bella closed her eyes to try to block out what could only be a horrible nightmare.
As the silence drug on Edward knew that Bella must be struggling with the unbelievable truth. Not wanting to frighten her he remained statue still as he waited for her response.
After several minutes Bella drew in a deep calming breath in order to gather her courage to face what was to come. "I have some questions," she said with a shaking voice that had Edward cringing at the obvious fear he detected.
"Yes, I supposed that you would," he commented gently as he turned to face her with an unmistakable sadness so very evident in his tortured gaze.
"First…when you say your family, do you mean everyone? Alice, Esme…" Bella asked as she clenched her hands tightly in her lap.
"Yes, all of us," Edward responded in a deadened tone so very uncharacteristic to his normal melodic speech.
"How did you become…" Bella's voice trailed off as she couldn't quite bring herself to say to word when she was addressing the man she had come to love.
"I was dying of the Spanish influenza in 1918 when Carlisle saved me so to speak," Edward answered quietly as he watched her intently for any sign of what she was thinking.
"1918?" Bella choked out in a barely there breath. "So you're over a hundred years old then," she continued with a slight shake of her head at the unfathomable truth that Edward and his family were vampires.
Edward smiled somewhat sadly as he slowly returned to his chair. "I'm 118 to be exact."
"So you've been a…vampire for the last ninety years then," Bella commented softly without looking at him for one of the first times since their strange conversation began.
Knowing that Bella was having a difficult time, Edward decided to spare her any the tedium of questioning him and began to fill her in on his and his family's history. "Yes, I've been like this for the last ninety years. I won't tell you that it has been an easy life…if you could call it a life. But with Carlisle and Esme as our Father and Mother so to speak it hasn't been all that terrible. They have created a real family for us, so I haven't been all together unhappy with this life. In fact I guess you could say that I was content for the most part until I met you," he added with a gentleness entering his golden gaze as he stared adoringly at Bella. "I didn't realize that there could be more, that there could be love, the kind of love I feel for you."
Bella felt the familiar warmth spread through her as she stared into his hypnotic golden eyes. "So how…" she broke off as she turned her gaze towards the floor unable to look at his beautiful face as she wrestled with the effect his stare was having on her. "Do you…"
Edward smiled at her gently as he began to fill her in on the history of his vampire life. "As I said I have been like this for over ninety years. Carlisle has been a vampire for over four hundred years; I can't imagine what it must have been like for him when he was changed. The vampire the changed him was killed immediately after, so Carlisle had to learn everything about this life on his own. At least I had Carlisle to ease me into this way of life. I think he must have been very lonely all of those years. He told me that he had never considered changing another human into a vampire until my mother, who was also dying had begged him to save me. As if she knew that he had the power to stave off my death," Edward allowed with a light laugh. "So after Carlisle changed me, he taught me his way of life. We're different from other vampires. We don't hunt humans as our prey; instead we exist off of animals."
"Animals? But don't vampires need human blood?" Bella asked with a confused frown marring her brow as she thought of all of the horror movies she had watched growing up.
"It's possible to sustain our existence with the blood of animals," Edward answered softly. "It isn't quite the same as human blood, which makes us stronger, but we find the killing of animals infinitely more agreeable with our conscious than if we preyed upon humans."
"So you don't..." Bella paused as she tried to get the word out. "…kill humans for their blood?"
Edward watched Bella closely as he answered her question. "I can't say that I have never killed a human before, but for the past eighty years…I have followed Carlisle's example and only sought out animals."
Closing her eyes against the pain that Edward's confession wrought, Bella griped the arms of the chair tightly; her heart rebelled against the dark thoughts that were racing through her mind. Her sweet, gentle Edward was a murderer; the man she loved had slaughtered countless innocent people for their blood. "So you have taken a human life?" she asked so softly that Edward knew that if he didn't have enhanced hearing he would not have been able to make out her words.
"Yes," he answered with a defeated sigh. "I wish I could say that like Carlisle and Esme that I haven't killed a human, but I can't. I have killed before. The only thing I can promise you is that I am now committed to this life and vow that I will never harm a human. Bella," he called to her so that he could look into her pain filled eyes.
Bella looked up into Edward's handsome face and saw that he seemed to be fighting to save their relationship.
"I swear to you, that I will never harm you. I love you more than anything. If you could please just try to accept…" he broke off as he watched the flash of what could only be described as fear intertwined with pain enter her already saddened eyes.
"I need to…" Bella's voice broke with the tears she was fighting as she quickly rose from her chair to make her way towards the door. "I just need some time," she finished in a hoarse voice that betrayed her sorrow as she opened the door and quickly made her way towards the elevator, unaware of the all encompassing pain that was now taking an unyielding sadistic hold of the man she left behind. Unaware that her quick departure was destroying the man she loved; the man who was now facing a future without any hope of happiness; the man who was now wondering how he would be able to exist in a world that didn't include his Bella.