A/N: So this chapter was definitely by far the most difficult. Who knew getting in the mind of a ninety year old vampire would be so hard! But I hope you enjoy, and please R&R, I LOVE hearing feedback, it helps to inspire. Thanks!
Chapter 3.…Torture
EPOV
I started to drive to Bella's house just after dusk. The sun had already disappeared behind the trees casting an eerie warm orange glow with deep purple hues across the sky, rare sight for Forks. I hunted for the whole afternoon while Alice and Bella shopped, I wanted to be sure to fully satisfy my cravings, there couldn't be any room for accidents tonight, and I had to be certain I would be able to handle it. My eyes had calmed down to a normal warm golden color, thankfully hiding any trace of blatant hunger. When I got back to the house after the trip I had received some somewhat good news; the family was going up North to visit Tanya's family for the weekend, they thought it would be a good idea for me and Bella to have the house to ourselves this weekend, get a taste of what it would be like to be married couple. I had no doubt that the idea had obviously came from the women of the family. When they first told me, I was thrilled; Bella and I could finally have some alone time, just her and I. The idea filled my body with an intense filling of anticipation, but I couldn't help but feel the least bit apprehensive. The last time Bella and I had the house to ourselves, my sweet fiancée, had almost successfully seduced me, and I had no doubt in my mind that it would travel that very same path tonight. On the other hand this weekend proved to be a great opportunity for us to work on our "agreement". Against my better judgment I had agreed to take the necessary steps to learn to help deal with my self control, but I couldn't help but be slightly anxious. The idea of being alone with no one around frightened me to the very core. This would be a very interesting weekend indeed.
When Alice came home from their shopping trip that afternoon, Bella wasn't with her.
"I told Bella the news, and she's thrilled! She thought it would best to be dropped off at Charlie's first though." Alice's bell like voice chimed as I watched her extract insane amounts of expensive looking white bags from the trunk. I mentally cursed, I had forgotten that Charlie would be an issue. Even though Bella was now eighteen and engaged to me, there would be no way he would let her sleepover alone at the house with me. I understood where Charlie was coming from though, I couldn't even bare the idea of Bella spending a day in La Push by herself. Charlie had every right to be wary of an "seventeen" year old boy. He was just trying to be a good father, protecting his daughter was his first priority, I respected him for that.
In all honesty I was actually counting on Charlie as a security blanket. I had no qualms with "practicing" with Bella in the safety of Bella's room with Charlie in the other. The thought of waking Charlie was always constant in the back of my mind, it acted as a alarm of some sorts when Bella and I had gotten too out of hand. Strange to think of it, but the thought of Charlie not being there nearly scared me senseless as well.
"She's going to tell Charlie that she's going to have a "girls weekend" with me, and you're going to be gone with the rest of the family." Alice finished slamming the trunk shut with her leg, her arms were completely occupied with bags. "DAMMIT!" I mentally cursed; I knew my beautifully brilliant Bella would conjure up such a plan, I could just taste Bella's excitement from ten miles away, she would cut off her own arm for such an opportunity. Charlie had taken the bait, hook line and sinker. I knew he would never refuse when it came to an issue with Alice involved, he damn near worshiped the ground she danced upon. For just once I wanted my future father in law to see through the charade and put his foot down.
I quickly looked away as Alice glanced towards me, noticing my unusual hesitation. My breathing started to become erratic as a billion thoughts began to swarm in my head. Did I really want this weekend to happen? Was I the only one who thought that this wouldn't be such a great idea? A weekend alone, a human girl, and her sexually frustrated vampire lover? Were people really that trustworthy with us? I took an unsteady breath, it sounded so simple to everyone else, did they not take into consideration that I would be the one suffering?! I couldn't believe that everyone else had more faith in my not to kill Bella than I did. I clenched my jaw and looked away as Alice gave me a questioning glance at my brooding silence.
"Hey!" Alice yelled instantly catching my attention, snapping me out of my agony. "Don't look so sad brother, you won't hurt her this weekend, trust me." There was a slight pause as she maneuvered bags around. "I told Bella that I would be picking her up, but you're going to have to instead, I'm going to take off early with Jasper." Alice threw me a reassuring smile and then danced into the house; a blur or white bags trailing behind her, leaving me alone in the cold garage.
Even though Alice's visions were subjective, they always made me feel slightly better. 'You won't hurt her' I repeated Alice's words to myself. Was I really ready for this? Last night was a supreme example that we weren't, but I let it slide. A sharp pain twisted in my lower abdomen at the flash of memory from last night. I had to shake my head to banish that memory quickly. I had to even struggle through the whole day with the memory of Bella's warm slim legs wrapping tightly around my waist, bringing me closer to her warm core. With a loud curse I suddenly kicked a tin pale that was laying on the ground in front me, with a loud bang it hit the concrete wall and flatten like a steel plate, landing with a loud clang on the floor. The loud shrilling noise eased my frustration a little bit, this was too hard. As much as I wanted to spend time with my angel, I didn't want to hurt her. Explaining to Bella that this wouldn't be a good idea would be like trying to talk paint off walls, there would be no budging. I took in a long soothing breath and laid my head against the cool steel of the roof of Alice's car. I sighed deeply, it looked like this weekend was going to happen whether I liked it or not.
I killed the ignition once I pulled up in front of the house; Bella's ancient truck and Charlie's cruiser were parked side by side in the driveway. I could hear the game playing inside which meant Charlie most likely had already eaten and Bella would be upstairs getting ready. So much for bonding time.. A slow wave of excitement began to creep through my veins. We've been parted for only half the day, and I craved her, her touch and smell were still fresh in my mind. I took in a deep breath, her faint scent was still on my clothes. I craved that scent more than anything in this world. She was my source of life now, I needed her to survive.
The sky had turned a deep inky black, the moons glow appeared to be absent tonight, causing the stars to shine at full force. A warm glow came from Bella's window, drawing me like a moth to flame, my love, my life, my world was in there. A strange ease started to overcome my body, the single thought that I would be able to be with Bella, just Bella this whole weekend seem to overcome all the other worries. That thought was even enough to almost convince me that this weekend would maybe turn out to be okay.
I was glad that I wouldn't have to face Charlie tonight, I wasn't in the mood to play pleasant, and I hated to admit I was feeling slightly bitter. I took one last deep breath and got out of the car. I lightly sprang up into the tree by her closed window, I had to still myself for a second in the cover of the foliage as a rush of her scent struck my senses, the sharp taste of venom pooled in my mouth. The venom was always a reaction whenever her scent hit me, I doubted I could ever control that tick. After a second I regained enough composure and swinged myself onto the branch right below her window, and peered inside.
Bella wasn't inside. My brows furrowed confused, I could smell her scent, and I heard the throb of her calm beating heart. 'In the bathroom maybe?' I thought nothing of it, I was starting to wonder if maybe I should just lounge in her rocking chair and wait till she comes in, a surprise of sorts. I barely had my finger under the windows ledge, before my world came crashing down.
Bella had just came through the bedroom door clad in only a black lacy bra and matching underwear. My senses were overwhelmed, the predator inside me was boiling at the surface clawing to escape. A thousand different urges swam through my body, to mark, mate, bite, taste, claim. Like a frightened animal sensing danger I hissed and sprang back into the coverage of the leaves. My movement was so quick that Bella didn't even see me, she didn't even spare a glance towards the window as she walked over to a burgundy overnight bag on her bed and threw in a toothbrush and toothpaste. I clenched my jaw tight, swallowing a massive amount of venom, my muscles in my abdomen were coiling, tightening painfully. The demons inside was screaming for blood, the pounding of her heart was echoing in my ears, the sweet sound of sweet blood pulsing through her veins made my head swim. I needed to run, run while I still could, but I didn't move.
My breathing was becoming uneasy and I started to desperately cling for anything substantial to hold on, wood cracked beneath my fingers, giving me some taste of reality. In this exact moment I never felt so human in all my ninety years. For a second I could've sworn my cold dead heart took it's first pulse in ninety years, I felt alive. My brows furrowed as the battle within me raged on. I had never wanted her so badly. There was a deep disturbing voice in the back of my mind that screamed for satisfaction, and my body itched to spring into the room, not even bothering to open the window first.
I hissed loudly again and sprang into a defensive crouch, ready to sping. I needed to run, I needed to run! But I was frozen, utterly incapable of movement!! My eyes turned into fine slits as I watched her stealthily from the safety of the cover of darkness. She walked around the room grabbing various items, completely oblivious to my presence.
The perfect prey…
Another sharp pang ripped through my stomach causing my whole body to shudder. I was able to regain a smidgen of composure as I thought of my Bella. What would Bella think of me watching her like this? Would she be disgusted? Would she turn me away and never want to see me again? My noble self was answering yes to all the valid question, but my damned traitor limbs wouldn't move! The man, the predator, the dominant male inside me couldn't, wouldn't, look away.
This was dangerous.
I continued to watch her like a predator stalking it's prey. The ache in my stomach was now getting excruciating, the basic need for some kind of satisfaction was overwhelming. I could tell that I was painfully aroused, how was I going to reveal myself to her?! My perverted self, hiding like a coward in the confines of a tree. She was my fiancée for Christ sakes! My beautiful sweet betrothed. My life.
The mental battle in my head finally come to a ridiculous conclusion "Just a little while longer." My teeth snapped shut and I felt like cursing up a storm, damn my treacherous body! I couldn't argue though as I glanced over Bella's body, noticing how the tiny lacy excuse of undergarments clung to her every curve, accentuating her soft supple skin. I desperately felt the urge to run my hands across every inch of her soft skin, tasting, feeling her body shiver beneath my touch. I felt the wood splintering underneath my fingers again.
'CONTROL!' My mind screamed
I swallowed another mouthful of sharp venom as I watched her walk over to her dresser, she bent down to open the bottom drawer giving me a full view of her perfect bottom. I suppressed a growl in my chest and my vision flashed red. She was perfect, I never saw Bella in such clarity. I had dreamed about seeing her this nude, but never in all my life did I imagine her to be this perfect. It was as if Bella was designed just for my pleasure, she was utterly flawless. Bella got back up and went to bed again shoving a few articles of clothing, I noticed one of them was one of my favorite t-shirts of hers. My eyes greedily raked her body. The black lace clung to her firm pert breast perfectly, her flat stomach was toned, and her waist curved in delicately flaring out to form beautiful hips. I had to take in a sharp breath as I slowly gazed at her lower half. I hissed as another sharp pang cut through me.
'Contol...control....control.....control.…control....' I chanted over and over in my head, urging my body to relax. I quickly looked away, I needed to keep my self control intact. I took a deep soothing breath, and the demons that had been screaming inside my head were now turning into a faint dark whisper. The unbearable ache was now turning into a numbing sensation. I needed to relax if I was ever going to get out of this tree, and wait at least five minutes so she could get dressed. I hated myself for doing this to her. How could I ever tell her that I watched her this way? I was disgusted with myself. The gnawing guilt started to become unbearable, I couldn't do this to her, she needed to know, I couldn't let Bella live with me after I behaved in such a way. For the first time since I saw her almost nude, I felt my fingers unclench of the mangled branches. An ache in my cold dead heart was beginning to from instead of the ache in my lower abdomen. I needed to reveal myself. I wanted to hear her call me every name under the sun, I wanted to be slapped, I wanted to be banished from her sight and never returned. I would beg for forgiveness though. I could never live without my world The urge to end the charade was almost overbearing.
With a deep breath I jumped onto the next closest branch. A whip like snap filled the air and with a loud gasp Bella's head shot up. My world as I knew it, had ended.
Our eyes connected, prey met predator, I didn't dare move, breathe, or think. I stared back at her like a statue, peering into her warm chocolate brown eyes, waiting for her move, waiting for her scream, waiting for her wrath, but nothing came. She didn't do a thing. The scream I was waiting for didn't come, she didn't even move to cover up her almost nude body. She did nothing, just gaze back into my cold black eyes.
The words of forgiveness were on the tip of my tongue, but nothing could come out. I waited for her move. I needed the prey to react before I could chase. After a long moment I watched as Bella bit her lip and start to slowly crawl on all fours on her bed towards me. I gulped. She moved slowly stealthily towards me, like she was approaching a dangerous animal. She crossed the bed and slowly and seductively started to walk towards the window. Frightened of what was to come I slowly began to lean back into the darkness, also unafraid of how I would react to the sheer nearness of her. I craved to touch her for far too long, I wasn't sure if I was able to control myself.
Bella finally reached the ledge of the window, the warm glow from the light cascaded around her, causing a beautiful angel like glow. A light flush began to creep upon her cheeks. Bella lifted her hand and for a fraction of a second I thought she was going to open the window to let me in, but instead she reached above the window where it slides open and pulled down the metal tab to lock it shut.
That metal click shot through me like a thousand bullets. Confused and hurt, I looked into her warm chocolate brown eyes, searching for any kind of answer. A slow beautiful smile began to spread across her lips, and she said the most horrifying thing imaginable.
"Watch me." she whispered inaudibly, but I heard every single word.
Oh my god…
I was practically panting, sick thoughts laced my mind as I watched her slowly walk backwards to the bed and turn around to stand up on her knees. I could hear her heart speed up as she slowly started to trace her hands delicately up over her bra, barely even touching the fabric. Her hands led a whisper like trace back around her neck and she let out the tiniest moan. She slowly rolled her head behind her shoulder revealing her thin flushed delicate neck. Through my heighten sense of sight I saw the blood pump through her artery, and I had to bite the back of my hand from letting the loud groan to escape. Did this girl have any idea how she affected me?! I had to close my eyes for once second, desperately begging my mind and body to calm down. Making sure my self control was somewhat still intact. I rushed to the window, slamming my hand against the paneling outside desperately needing to get a closer look. The forced of my hand probably formed a perfect indent of my hand but I didn't care if I Charlie heard it. There was nothing in the world that I cared about rather than watching this goddess in front of me.
She was putting on a show for me. My sweet shy innocent Bella was putting on a show for me. I wanted to wring her neck and kiss her senselessly at the same time. We were both taking a humongous risk. Bringing her head back to look me in the eye, she sat back on her heels and opened her legs a little wider. I watched her legs closely as they spread wider. I could practically hear the brush of fabric against her soft skin. I could hear the blood pump in her veins and her heart speed up to an impossible speed. Her eyes were closed, and her full lips were slightly parted.
Bella glanced my way again, and she just barely wet her lips with her tongue, tracing the full bottom lip slowly. I wanted to be those lips, I wanted to feel her warm little wet tongue trace the contours of my lips. I wanted her. I wanted to make her mine.
One little dainty hand graced her shoulder and ever so slowly began to pull down her bra strap. I watched that bra strap slowly fall down her shoulder and stop midway. She slowly pulled her arm out of the strap and then proceeded to do that same with the other. Her bra clung to her body by the clasp in the back, but she made no move to take it off. Just the image of her bare breast caused my body to burst into flames. The need to feel her skin under my skin was becoming too much. To hold those two perfect mounds in my hands, to caress them, was more than I could take. I felt my body began to quiver with need, hot flames were burning my lower region. I could feel another layer of my self control get stripped away I didn't know how much longer I could go on, how much longer would Bella go on? This needed to stop soon.
I dug my hand further into the wooden paneling on the side of her window, no pain came. I desperately wanting to feel something other then the sharp sting of pleasure course through my body, anything to distract me from this beautiful dangerous creature.
Bella didn't stop, looking at me she then got back up on her knees and curled her hands around her neck. She traced both hands slowly down her pert round breast, not stripping away the bra, and then down to her stomach. I could hear Bella take in a slow uneasy breath, her cheeks were fully flamed, I never seen a more sensuous color. Her heart was pounding to an amazing speed. With one last tortured look at me she whispered
"Punishment." And did the most horrifying thing ever imaginable.
That tiny hand that was resting at her lower abdomen started a slow trail down towards her underwear.
Nothing existed anymore, time ceased to be. I let a loud feral growl escape my lips and I felt my body jerk forward wanting to spring forward and attack her sweet supple body, but by some miracle I held back. Branches, and wood snapped between my hands, loud audible cracks of wood filled the air. Venom pooled my mouth and my body spontaneously combusted. The unbearable ache now became excruciating. I wanted her, I wanted her in the worst way. I wanted to close the distance between us and take her, rip off her clothes and finally connect her sweet body to mine the way I always dreamed about.
The internal battle inside my body was at it's peak. Flee or mate. I clenched my jaw and shut my eyes tightly, desperately clinging to that last string of self control. I was gasping uncontrollably for air, my lungs felt like there was a iron grip clenching them shut. By some will of it's own, I felt my hand claw at the wood under the window stripping away, wooden pieces. I was going to attack her.
With a fierce growl, I ripped my hand away. Oh god, OH GOD! This needed to stop!
"STOP!" I gasped loudly, amazed that I could keep the volume under control for Charlie's sake. Bella barely had her hand under the elastic of her underwear when she ripped her hand away. She still looked out the window at me as she quickly jumped off the bed and danced over to some clothes on the dresser, pulling her hands through her bra straps to secure them in place. It was over.
I closed my eyes and took deep slow breaths. I was just about ready to kill her...literally. Miraculously I was able to hold on to that one last string of control. Bella finished dressing, and she turned towards the window, assessing my mood. I leaned my feverish forehead against the cool glass, willing my lungs to breathe again. I heard Bella's footsteps coming closer, and as a reaction I leaned back, still not sure if I was able to hold onto that last piece of control.
Bella finally reached the window and placed her hand against the glass. Our eyes connected. Her warm brown eyes met my cold lifeless ones, and I was safe. She was alive, everything was okay.. Well, I wanted to wring her neck for doing that, but I guess we were even on the punishment scenario.
I heard the soft click of metal as she unlocked the window and began to slowly slide it open. I held my breath, not sure if the fresh scent of her soft body was such a good idea at the moment. I was suddenly thanking god for the cover of dark, my body had never been this aroused before, and I didn't want her to know at the moment either.
There was silence, neither sure of what to say. Just about a thousand different things were rushing through my head at the moment, but none of them were appropriate.
"You did good." Bella said quietly reaching out one little warm hand to place it on my face. I couldn't help the unexpected chuckle escape my lips.
"Punishment…Was this your way at getting back at me for last night?" I whispered in a hoarse voice, amazed I even had a voice. Her tiny little shoulders shrugged and her hand moved down to my throat, her thumb traced my jaw line.
" A little, and it probably was a good step for you to take also, you know, the whole seeing me half naked thing." She said like it was nothing out of the ordinary. I glared at her then.
"So you planned this?!" I yelled squaring my shoulders to tower over her slightly. Bella quickly retreated from my dominating advance.
"Well, yes, and no." She said quickly, I could hear her voice become a little on the hysterical edge.
"What is it Bella, yes or no?!" I demanded quickly stepping through the window. My sudden advance caught Bella off guard and she fell back against the bed. I was silently thanking god that my arousal had faded somewhat.
"Well, I honestly didn't know that you were watching me, I thought Alice was coming to pick me up, but when I caught you I thought why not, and let you watch me, it would be good for you.." She rambled quickly. Her tiny little heartbeat began to pick up again, and I couldn't help but to lean over her, my eyes shot daggers at her. I believed her whole heartily, but I wasn't completely ready to forgive her, not just yet.
The nearness of Bella's body had my mind reeling again, and I had to check myself for a second to control the sudden urge to touch her everywhere. For the first time since I entered the room I took a tiny breath. Her scent caused my throat to ache, but it was more bearable now. Bella quickly touched my face with both of her hands, cupping my face gently. I looked into the beautiful eyes.
"I'm sorry… I….I honestly didn't know that you were that tormented. You should of stopped me." She said sincerely.
I had to scoff at her. "Bella, you honestly believe that I wouldn't be that tormented? I want you like nothing else in this world. You are the most addicting creature on this planet." I said moving to crawl over her body. Bella instantly leaned back against the bed. I desperately wanted to feel her warm supple body against mine, but I made sure to not let our bodies touch, not just yet.
"Hey, you're the one who started it! You were watching me from the window! I was half naked!" Bella yelled bracing one hand against my chest. I smiled shyly. I was caught. Bella did have a point, and I guess we were now both equal.
"Touché." I muttered before quickly sealing our lips together for the first time that night. Her warm lips eagerly moved against mine, and I nearly fainted. The sheer pleasure of the feel of her lips against mine felt like a train hitting me at one hundred miles per hour. Our lips moved as one, perfectly made for each other.
I ended the kiss as quickly as I began it. We couldn't get carried away, especially not at this exact moment. Bella started to protest but I quickly held a finger to her lips.
"Finish getting ready, and I'll meet you in the car, I need to…Relax a little bit." I said sternly, hoping she would catch my drift that I need to calm down. Bella smiled lightly and nodded. I left quickly, the cold night air against my face was refreshing as I jumped down to the car. Not wasting any time I opened the door and got in. This night definitely made an interesting turn and it was only the beginning....
A/N: AH! Freaking hard chapter. Hoped you liked it! Hope you're ready for the weekend too ;)