Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Believe me if I had, well...the story would be quite different, for better or worse, shrugs. But you don't have to worry about the horrors of what I could do as I don't and as such much contend myself with fan fiction, until I actually try my hand at writing original fiction, well finishing it.
Author's note: Okay first, I apologize for the time that's passed since my previous update, however, my computer crashed with the chapters 3 and 4 I had previously written, which well, depressed me, honestly and took a while from me to get back and write again. To ease your fears (S. Wright) Neji/Naruto or Gaara/Naruto fans, sorry while I can understand the lure of this pairing, I can't see it, honestly. For me, Naruto is an ideal for Neji, represents free birds and hope, he's living proof that there's no such thing as fate, he beat Neji with a technique that was once his worse, and frankly he's the dobe. 'The light in the darkness.' And for Gaara, wells he's loves Naruto too much. Confusing no, but well Naruto his Gaara's mother, teacher, friend…he's what Gaara wants to become, and again his hope. In this story at least, nether can bear to even degrade Naruto in thinking of him in lust. (he's to pure, to perfect…kind of like the majority of Yuki's fan girls in Fruit Basket. They don't actually want him, they like to sigh and chase people away from him. Well except they do want to know the true him.)
Chapter 3: Beginning of Reconciling
After Naruto had shaken himself free from the flashback of that day, he realized that they couldn't remain there for long and despite his reluctance, lead the Konocha ninjas out of the living room of the Town hall and led them to his home in the village. Allowing them to follow him home was disturbing and almost painful. His mind was screaming at him to run, to leave, to turn around and lead them back to the city hall, and have the council find places to put them up. But he had no choice, he didn't want them causing discord for him among the villagers. So if he had bring them to his own dwelling to protect his sanctuary then he would. Even if he didn't like it, it was better than the alternative. He couldn't trust any of them, not with them being together, those who betrayed him back then and the ones who either hadn't been there or stood beside him, protecting him with their own bodies. He didn't know why and he was in truth frightened what their companionship meant, represented…he wasn't sure if he could take another betrayal, not from people that their very actions in defending him against they now stood with, had been what kept him waking up and surviving…but if he lost that, he knew it would break him. And so he was fighting to break free from them in his heart, unwilling to risk it, not when he finally had a life, one where he's actually happy and not afraid to go sleep at night without bobby trapping his apartment so he could rest without worries of anyone breaking in.
"Come in," Naruto said as he unlocked the door and led the way inside, slipping his shoes off into the genkan, motioning for the others to do the same. He didn't bother with the slippers resting next to the exit of the entrance as he didn't have enough for the others to use, and even he had, he wasn't certain he would have allowed his 'guest' to use it, as that would indicate they were welcome, and that was definitely one message he did not want to send.
His proper use of the genkan was new, something he had begun to follow once he had become a semi-permanent resident of Gaia, but was very proud and even fond of. Before his only visitor had been Iruka, and even that was rare, normally he would just go to Iruka's or just go to the school after the classes were let out. But here he often had guests, something he wasn't used to, and so manners was something he had to learn so that he would be a proper host or even guest, and that repeated invites would be given and accepted. So to him the genkan represented acceptance and the changes in his life.
Leading them down the short hallway he led them into his family room he motioned for them to sit, and headed into his kitchen to start tea. Puttering around in the kitchen allowed him to relax and to distance himself, for as he pulled out the tea kettle and began to boil the water, followed by pulling out tea leaves, he saw that his cabinets were filled, something that helped him remember that this wasn't Konocha. There was no reason for him to afraid or uncertain, he wasn't sure why his life and to cross theirs again, after all one of the reasons he had chosen to stay in this small village was because it was small and had little interest to anyone outside the region. It wasn't controlled by the leaf, rock, cloud, sand or sound as there was nothing that the ninjas villages would really want from there. While the area had nice farming land, that was important to farmers not ninjas who were seeking to increase their power or wealth. This area wasn't defensible and didn't have a prime location for attacking. And yet now, after finally settling in, and beginning to forget the past or at least let it remain in the past, and now his past and present lives suddenly collide together in the oddest of circumstances.
Scrolls of Life? They were long believed to be just myths, only wide eyed adolescence even believed that there was some truth, and that was mostly due to wishful thinking rather than any true belief or evidence. There had been nothing that indicated that scrolls that held such importance was even around, beyond the similar names of the ruins. But even the name was newer than the myths and was done in regards of thanks for crops, rather than legendary scrolls that hold the key to immortality or ultimate power, depending on what legend your going by. Of course trying to make logical sense of Orochimaru's plans was always waste of time, but he was hoping there was someway he could lead that destructive force away this peaceful village, but what…there wasn't many allies, and those they did have were either to few in number or barely trained ninjas.
"Do you need any help?" A soft voice asked almost hopefully, and Naruto startled for a moment, his hands and thoughts stilling as he stopped his preparations of organizing the trays with snacks to eat along with the tea that was no seeping in the water, while his thoughts had been racing in his mind.
The blonde closed his cerulean eyes for a moment as tried to regain the control he had gained from making teas as etiquette demanded, "I thank you Hyuuga-san…" beginning to refuse before he changed his mind, he wasn't going to scared or imitated in his own village, his own home even, he would be damned before he would let that happen. Turning to the young woman, that he recalled used to blush and stammer every time he even glanced at her, he continued on smoothly, "that would be helpful, may you carry out the snacks while I bring out the tea?"
Hyuuga Hinta gave a small hesitant smile and nodded taking the plate from Naruto and bringing out to the others. Naruto followed shortly after all, making sure enough napkins, sugar and cream was on the tray with the cups and kettle of tea, and noticed that the group sat in same order as they had down so at the living room. Refusing to read in to it anymore in case it was more wishful thinking or else a strategy used to try and make him more at ease.
He quickly served them tea, before he sat across from them, as he down at the town hall's living room, and looked at them. He wasn't going to start, he was done with breaking tensions and easing the feelings. He had been appreciated then and he frankly didn't care enough to bother to see if that had changed, besides he liked keeping control and if he broke first, he would had given up the advantage, he needed to examine his enemies strategy first before he figured out a plan to destroy it. And yes to him they were enemies.
After a few minutes of silence where tea was drank for want of nothing else to do as they looked around, eyes darting to and fro uncomfortable with atmosphere, and no one was sure how to try and found a way to say it, finally Haurno-san interrupted.
"Why are keeping so damn silent, you need to tell us what your doing here not acting like you've done no wrong, your acting as a missing ninja… you ba…"
"Haurno/I owe…" Neji/Naruto began to both speak, and they paused, before Neji inclined a head indicating for Naruto to go first. And once again Naruto found himself about to refuse, not he wanted to see what Neji had been intending on saying, wanting gain more tactical information, but there was no way to refuse gracefully and still maintain an upper hand, and so he nodded back and continued, "I own you nothing," his voice quiet and controlled with effort though only eyes showed the conflicting emotions and the stain that such control was putting on him, something that the group wouldn't be able to tell, "I had permission from Tsunade-sama, that until I had direct word from her herself or the next hokage that I would not have to return. And so unless you've have become the next Hokage since I've last had news, then your overstepping your station."
The pink haired girl reacted as if he had slapped her, she jerked back looking pain, before she bite her lip and looked down at her lap. And Naruto noticed that no one jumped to her rescue or even made a motion to reassure her, not even Rock, who had a larger crush on the girl than he had. And despite his attempt to keep his heart hard to all of them, he felt himself soften a little to the others.
One of the other Hyuugas, Neji moved forward suddenly fixing his graze at Naruto, "Your right you owe us nothing, and we are grateful that you have allowed us to dwell with you, while we sort out of mission. And because of this as our host and a fellow Konocha ninja, we can give you a basic outline of our mission."
The healer raised an eyebrow, ignoring the gasps and noise of protests from the "Beyond what you've told the council… I thought you told your mission there?"
"Iie, we only spoke of the purpose of Sound ninjas being here, but in truth that is only a part of our mission. We aren't just here to keep Sound from getting a hold of the scrolls, we're here to find them first and try and establish an alliance with the villages near here." Shikamu stated in a monotone voice as took over.
"Nani!? Why there's nothing here that would appeal to Konocha, these villages are small, and…" His resolve to be distant and keep the upper hand disappearing as his protective instincts for the village that had saved his sanity long ago was hinted was being endanger.
There was uncomfortable silence for a moment as they all looked at one another, before Shikamaru answered, fixing his dark eyes to the sky blue that was holding rage that was disguising the fear in them.
"Since you lef… you were forced to leave," he paused and visibly shook his head as riding himself of an annoying insect, "the tension between the ninjas villages have grown. The Sound village had allied itself with Cloud and Rock, while Sand has allied itself with us. Grass had chose neutrality in the beginning but was quickly seen as an easily target and was near destruction, and now sides with Sound. Skirmishes, fights, burning of crops and sabotaging missions, everything has been shifted upside down, and as for now, the crops aren't enough to last much longer, and it's coming increasingly obvious that war is soon going to break out, so every village is looking for anything to put itself ahead, to get the advantage. And Gaia, face it these villages have little ways of ninjas forces to protect them, but at lot of rich soil and food, and has not chosen aside."
Naruto leaned back, clenching his hands tightly to the point of drawing blood, there was no point in denying anything that had been said. He knew it himself, but he didn't know what he could do to protect this village. They had grown since he had first arrived but it still was a long way off from being able to stand against a true ninja village, and from what he was being told, it would soon be faced with a ninjas' war. They wouldn't, they couldn't survive that.
Neji leaned forward and reached out touching his hands for a moment, surprising Naruto, "That's not the important issue right now, Orchimaru has shown his hand, he wants these scrolls, and legendary or not, we need to him. But first we need to rest up and heal before we could do any good. Alright?"
The healer nodded and let good manners dictate his actions, as he stood and lead the groups to the guests' rooms. Checking to make sure the bed rolls were there and everything else needed was equipped before he left them to settle where who would sleep where, eager to leave and find himself able to get his mind together.
Naruto leaned against the wall of his house, looking up at the night sky, trying to find a way to calm his thoughts. He felt weary, and just so raw. And he hated it. Hated that he found it hard to find the good in this mess. He just felt old. Old and worn from the eternal optimistic, energetic boy that he had been. The boy who could take the hated of an entire village and still smile and run about, proclaiming that one day he would be hokage, and everyone would one day look up at him and smile. The boy who would have moved mountains and still had energy to continue to do what was needed to be done, and do it with a grin. The boy who could forgive and forget without any hesitation and bitterness. To ecstatic to have another chance to gain or keep a friend, feeling that it was just a step closer to becoming the hokage.
But he…he just wasn't that boy anymore. He didn't know how to bring him back, it had been years since he had even thought of himself as Naruto, since he had been called by that name and the past he had been forced to abandon, wasn't sure if he could become that boy again, and wasn't sure if he wanted to. He enjoyed being Healer. It had no negative connotations, most of the time, sure it had some downer parts, as he was often expected to have answers, and perform the impossible. But the impossible here wasn't as impossible as it had been Konocha. That village had been inflexible with him, he hadn't just been fighting the impossible, and he was also fighting the entire village. Here there were no glares, no harsh whispers, no insults, no taunts, no pushing, and no attempts at sabotage…
"Naruto," A voice softly called to him from inside the house, and Naruto felt himself stiffen, his thoughts halting to a stop, and he turned to look at the direction of the call, almost reluctant.
"Outside!" His voice rising just above a whisper, and the door was immediately slid open. And Lee stepped out, closing the door behind him, his dark eyes immediately landing on him and began studying him intently.
Rock Lee had changed since he had last seen him. Of course the last Naruto had seen him, Lee had barely recovered from surgery before he had saved him from the bone guy when rescuing Sasuke, and his mind cringed inwardly screaming to the memory. Later, later, he could dwell on that mess, and he quickly analyzed the difference. Lee was taller, and his hair was longer, falling past his ears and it was out of the bowl hair cut style. His eyebrows were still bushy, but it wasn't as obvious with his new hair style. But one thing that stuck out to Naruto was the change of clothes. Thankfully the green spandex eyesore was gone, and now in its place was more fitting for ninjas. He was dressed in black pants and a dark green long sleeve shirt underneath his jounin vest.
"Hey," Lee showed that he hadn't changed as much as his appearance with his good guy grin that showed all his bright white teeth.
Naruto tried to respond with his old fox grin, but half way he faltered, so he just gave a small half smile instead. Trying not to be irritated with the invasion of his solitary thoughts. It wasn't Lee's fault after all that Naruto just wasn't coping well with the situation, and so there was no need to take it out on him.
Lee didn't seem to buy the smile, but he also didn't seem bothered by it, instead he glanced up at the stars too, commenting "it's a good night to star graze, the skies are really clear tonight."
Naruto nodded, allowing agreement of "it is." To come out, before they both went quiet. The silence between the two of them seemed to grow louder to Naruto as each second past, before Naruto began speaking before he even noticed.
"I'm not twelve anymore. I'm not the same boy you remember. I can't just forgive and forget and grin as if nothing ever happened. I won't make any foolish, rash, optimistic promises and decide that if we try hard enough it'll come true. I can't become that kid again, and I don't want to." Naruto spoke up abruptly, destroying the silence, but it was just impossible to keep silent he needed to get it out. He needed for them understand that, he wanted the past to remain there, in the past. His blue eyes narrowed as they fixed themselves of his unwanted companion, eyes cold and assessing.
"I know you're not." Lee answered almost soothing, not glancing at Naruto as he spoke seriously to him, "You have every right to be angry, no not just angry, but spiting mad, furious. You have this new life here, your well respected and liked. And out of the blue your past just invades. Bringing back a lot of painful memories you rather forget, memories you needed to forget."
Naruto pressed his lips together, finding himself speechless. He had been ready for a fight, ready to defend his position. To rip to shreds any who disagreed. He was even prepared to deal with denial or a contrary view; he wasn't ready to do deal with the knowledge that he was in the right and people agreed with him, well these people anyway. He remembered all too well what they were like, and how easily they used to disregard his opinions and ideas. Unless of course there was no other plan and then they would still treat him like an idiot, ignore whose plan it was and give the thanks and glory to another, and if they couldn't, tear apart the plan later, showing what he should have done.
"I don't think any of us are the same, Naruto." Lee continued after waiting a few minutes, not really seeming to expect any answer. And Naruto immediately refocused on him, the way he seemed into to his thoughts disturbed him. "Not even them. Life doesn't stand still no matter how we wish it would, and unfortunately time does bring about change. It would be unfair for us to expect you to be the same when we're not. And to be honest I had noticed you had already begun changing before we left, and the process just continued on more completely afterwards." This time not giving time for any protests or comments, "Some changes may be small and not really noticeable, but others can and will be big and vastly different. You've changed a lot since I've last seen you, but then again you've been though a lot, endured what we only seen a hint of."
It was odd, but while Lee talked, Naruto noticed that his tone had made it clear that he wasn't really expecting answers or even hinting with hidden questions, he was simply just stating facts. And it made it easier for him to grasp. He had forgotten that Lee had a sharp and brilliant mind, but then again he hadn't cared back then. He hadn't bothered to worry about a lot of things back then, he had too much else to worry about, that he didn't want to add to the burden he already had.
Naruto hummed in response to Lee, and let his mind soak and ponder what Lee had just stated. Allowing quiet to come again, this time there was less tension and it felt more comfortable, more companionable. And this time instead of a few seconds it was about twenty minutes before the silence was interrupted again, once again by Naruto, "It's getting cold, I'm going to put on some more tea."
The simply stated fact had a question underlying it, but Lee heard it loud and clear and he turned and gave another smile, taking it as an invitation it was. This time it was softer and more controlled, but it made Naruto wonder if Lee's good guy grins was like his fox grins, a reflex to hide their true emotions and to keep the attention away from actual problems. It didn't matter really, it was just another way someone shielded themselves from the world and kept their hopes hidden from disappointment and someone crushing the small flames.
Naruto didn't know if he had any more dreams to protect, his one dream, the dream to become Hokage and dried up that day, and he was finding it hard to be willing to sacrifice everything, not just his life, but his hopes, inspirations, his happiness, everything, for a village that had shown they couldn't look past their own pain and hate, and see the truth. And it was easier to see the village's flaws when he had actually left the walls and seen that there was more out there. Seen and known what it was like not to be hated onsite, to be treated humanely and not dealing with grudging shop keepers who felt that his money was worthless and only accepted it due to the law and the fact that if they jacked up the price, they would all suffer, for the money came from the people's taxes and divided up into the orphans funds. But out of Konocha his money was good and they were all too pleased to accept it.
But tonight, Naruto promised himself, just for tonight he would forget his worries and just enjoy himself. Tomorrow would bring more problems, he was aware of that, but he wanted to forget the gloom that had been clinging to him, wanted that peace that he had before this afternoon, and so he pushed the part of the hurt boy deep inside and summoned forth the healer. The part that had been in full reign all these years, and had managed to be pretty content with his new life.
Genkan- the entrance hall where you take off your shoes and keep them.
Next up will be Chapter 4- Remembering.
Alright, sorry I thought this was best at the end rather than the beginning with the rest. Unless it's a crack fic I don't believe in bashing the characters, I like to play with them, put them in situations and think how would they react, but I find bashing them not really useful to be fics. I know it may seem like I'm bashing them, but in truth I'm trying to think how I would react to something like in a similar situation. And the 'traitors' won't be on the oust forever, and I know some wonder why they haven't been forgiven by the others though, and it's simply because it's hard to forgive them when the elephant in the room is clearly there. Naruto is that elephant, if he had remained, he would have forgiven them because that personality then, he was too desperate to be acknowledged to hold a grudge. But it wasn't and so it's hasn't had time to be resolved. And Naruto hasn't come to terms with it, he hadn't been kicked out of his home, lost his best friend/rival, can't see Iruka or his other precious people and so he's been pushing reminders out of his mind.