Temple of the Winds 2
Pairing: Yuuram
Rating: PG-13 (may change)
Summary: There's one more custom Yuuri doesn't know about.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of them.
Comment:
The inspiration behind this story came from history. During the dynastic era of China, the Emperor was said to have as many as 3,000 wives. Sadly, a great many of that number never even got to meet the Emperor, much less vie for his interest. Nevertheless, their status condemned them to a cloistered existence, cut off from their own families and without any hope of a life of their own. According to some versions, when the Emperor died his wives were either buried alive with him, or were forced to become nuns (or whatever female monks are called).
The title Temple of the Winds was not intentionally lifted from Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series, although I have read them. That was pure coincidence.
Yuuri was the 27th Maou. Even if Cheri had married all the fathers of her sons, there is no canon stating that she had never had other men before them. Consider too, the 25 Demon Kings that had come before them and you can imagine the possibilities.
-o0o-
Yuuri fully expected Wolfram to tear into him the moment they reached their room and the door closed behind them. However, to his surprise, the blonde knight instead headed straight to the window to stare out into the growing darkness.
He hesitated. Wolfram's posture was tense, and Yuuri couldn't get over the feeling that there was something very wrong. Staring at the stiff back presented to him, he felt his unease grow. He was used to Wolfram's tantrums and rants. His uncharacteristic silence now made Yuuri's insides clench. Cautiously, he went to stand beside his fiancé. "Tell me what's wrong?" He asked softly, now really worried.
"You really want to know?" Wolfram countered, not looking at him.
Yuuri couldn't help rolling his eyes. "Why else would I ask?"
Wolfram took a deep breath. "We are what's wrong, Yuuri."
Yuuri blinked. "What?"
"Tell me, Yuuri." Wolfram went on, turning to face him. "Do you love me?"
"WH- WHAT?!" Yuuri backed away, stunned at the totally unexpected question.
"Do you love me?" Wolfram repeated, his tone steady.
Yuuri's eyes were wide as saucers, he was totally floored.
"I-I-I-dammit Wolfram! What kind of a question is that? And what does that have to do with whatever's bothering everyone tonight?!"
"It's a simple enough question, Yuuri. Answerable by 'yes' or 'no'."
Yuuri stared at his fiancé. The moonlight made his hair shine like liquid gold in the dark, and the emerald eyes had never seemed so bright. They practically burned.
"Wolfram, you know you're my best friend. Of course I lo- care about you." He just couldn't bring himself to say the L-word.
His words hung between them for one telling moment, then a sad smile curved Wolfram's mouth. "But you don't love me, do you?" He pressed. "Not as a fiancé. In fact, you've never even really considered me as a boyfriend, have you?"
"Wolf – " Yuuri did not like the way the conversation was going, and he most certainly did not like the growing sorrow in his friend's eyes.
Wolfram took a deep breath. "It's okay, Yuuri, I've always known that. But - this is important. I don't want lies or comfort. Only the truth. The truth that's in your heart." He braced himself. "Do you think that you could come to love me someday? As your husband?"
"Husband?" Yuuri squeaked, fighting the almost overwhelming urge to throw himself out of the window rather than answer this question. "Gods, Wolfram, what the hell is going on? This is just – I – I – "
"The truth, Yuuri. Please." Wolfram's voice lowered on the last.
Please. That one word stilled Yuuri's protests. He had never heard Wolfram speak so humbly. He bit his lip. The truth? Hell, what could he say that wouldn't cause any further damage? A husband? He shook his head, it was difficult enough thinking of the blonde as a fiancé! "I just don't know, Wolfram." He said miserably, knowing he was hurting the other boy but unable to bring himself to lie. Wolfram had always valued honesty. Was asking for it now. The least he could do was grant that. "I like you a lot. You're my best friend, and I'd trust you with my life. But – where I come from boys are only supposed to marry girls, and vice versa. I've never even been out on a date, much less a girlfriend, and you're asking me to think about marriage?" His voice broke. "All this – it's just too strange for me." He raised his hands helplessly.
"So your answer's no." Wolfram's voice was faint. He turned away.
"Wolfram-" Now Yuuri felt like an absolute heel. It wasn't that he didn't know how Wolfram felt about him. He wasn't that stupid. But he just didn't feel the same way. Or at least, he didn't think so. He'd always been preoccupied with too many other things – saving lives, saving the world, those sorts of things. Now, he was being asked to think about his fiancé. He swallowed convulsively, staring at Wolfram's profile. It wasn't that Wolfram was unattractive. He wasn't blind. That soft blonde mane, those brilliantly compelling eyes. His eyes drifted down, noting the other boy's slim frame. His gaze moved up, to Wolfram's mouth. He imagined kissing the blonde, as he had seen other boys do with their girlfriends, imagined putting his arms around him, and his face promptly burst into flames. Oh-my-God.
"It's okay, Yuuri." The Maou almost missed Wolfram's words, so caught up in his disturbing mental imagery. "Problem solved." He turned to smile briefly at the raven-haired king. "Thank you for being honest, at least."
Yuuri's blinked. "Wait – Wolf…" His heart quailed at the sadness in the green eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." He trailed off, uncertain as to what he meant. His mind was infuriatingly slow to process what his body was telling him.
But Wolfram was done trying to decipher Yuuri's responses. He was too busy fighting to keep the tears from falling. "No, Yuuri, I'm the one who should be sorry." Wolfram sighed. "I should have known better than to hope." Straightening his shoulders, he headed for the door.
It was several seconds before it registered that the blonde knight was leaving their room. "Wolf- where are you going?"
"Back to my room." Wolfram replied without turning, his hand already on the doorknob. "My real room. I think you'll agree that it's time we ended this farce."
For some reason, the thought of Wolfram leaving caused a spike of panic to race through the king, driving all thoughts out of his mind. "But- you've always slept here! With me!"
"Things change, wimp." Wolfram countered softly. "We all have to move on."
"But –" Yuuri couldn't explain it, but that last statement sent him scrambling to the blonde's side, partly barring the door. "you don't have to leave." He said desperately. "Nothing has to change!"
Wolfram bit his lip. The temptation to give in – just for one last night – was overwhelming. But he couldn't. Knowing Yuuri he would try to make up for hurting the prince by being extra nice. His resolve might break. Wolfram didn't think he was strong enough to fight his own fears on top Yuuri's compassion. If he stayed he might break down and beg the wimp to marry him anyway. To save him from exile and a lifetime of loneliness.
He didn't doubt that the gentle Maou would do that. But Wolfram knew it would only be a marriage out of pity. Yet another farce. There was no point in prolonging this, he told himself sternly.
"Thank you Yuuri," he said steadily. "But no thanks." In the act of turning the knob, he paused. He knew what he had to do, but by Shinou why did it have to be so hard? He steeled himself, saying in a carefully off-hand tone. "I think I'll take a short vacation tomorrow."
"A - vacation?" Yuuri echoed faintly, feeling as though he'd gotten stuck in an alternate reality. Or a very, very bad dream.
"Yes." Wolfram said as evenly as he could. "I think maybe we need a little time apart." He forced himself to speak casually. "Take care of yourself while I'm gone, Yuuri."
"But – where are you going?" Panic filled the king's tone.
Wolfram affected a shrug, "There's this temple I've always wanted to visit. It's supposed to be really good for thinking. Maybe I'll go visit. Stay for a few days."
"You'll come back?" Somehow it was very important that Wolfram answered this.
Wolfram shut his eyes, fighting the urge to bolt, to scream, to cry. Control yourself, he told himself. Just a little more. You can do this.
"Wolfram -" Yuuri's tone quivered. "Promise me you'll come home. Soon."
Wolfram gritted his teeth. Nodded. "Of course I'll be back, wimp. Soon." Home. Not anymore, Yuuri. Not anymore. Allowing himself to peek at the king, he saw the lost look that stole across the mobile face, and unable to help himself, he turned to draw the dark-haired boy into a fierce hug. His last.
/Forgive me Yuuri. Forgive me for lying./
-o0o-
Yuuri went down to breakfast the next morning gritty-eyed and completely out-of-sorts. He had barely slept, spending the night tossing and turning on the ridiculously big bed. And he knew why.
Guilt ate at him. Guilt and a nagging sense of foreboding. Subconsciously, he had always feared the day he would have to resolve the matter of his engagement to Wolfram, precisely because he hated the thought of hurting the blonde. For all his faults Wolfram was loyal, honest, and kind. He didn't deserve to be hurt because Yuuri couldn't deal with the reality in this world.
The world of sports had always been very harsh on homosexuality, and Yuuri had heard too many horror stories about promising and talented players pilloried because of their sexual orientation, and of flourishing careers sacrificed on the altar of romance. So he had tried his best not to think too much about relationships – whether with girls or boys. He had poured all his energy and devotion to the game.
That attitude had carried over to Shin Makoku. Uncomfortable with his relationship with Wolfram, and uneasy with the blatant homosexuality permitted in this society, he had focused instead on the responsibilities demanded of the Maou. Had pushed the problem to the back of his mind.
Until last night. Last night Wolfram had forced him to show his hand and make a choice. His heart clenched, recalling the other boy's sadness. He had replayed the conversation a million times in his head, and still he couldn't think of an answer that didn't involve hurting the blonde. Because the truth was the truth – Yuuri wasn't a homosexual. He wasn't gay.
Just because he found Wolfram attractive didn't mean he was gay. He would have to be blind not to appreciate beauty, whatever its sex, right? And just because he had felt something at the thought of kissing Wolfram didn't mean he was gay, either.
Did it?
Yuuri pinched his nose, wishing there was someone who could tell him what to do. He didn't like the confusion he was feeling. He liked things to be clear. Black and white. He didn't like greys. The uncertainty bothered the hell out of him.
He sighed. He just wanted things to be back the way they were. He wanted Wolfram to remain at his side, whether as a friend or a fiancé. It didn't really matter. Long engagements weren't unheard of, surely? Yuuri was sure he could figure things out, in time.
Right. He would talk to Wolfram before he left. Would try to dissuade the blonde from this so-called vacation. Why would he want to visit a temple, of all places, anyway?
Yup. They can talk this through and everything will be alright again. He heaved a great sigh, feeling much better already. He was sure Wolfram would come around; he had never been able to deny Yuuri anything. He would cancel that trip and come back to their room tonight.
He hadn't liked sleeping in that big bed alone. He'd grown used to having Wolfram's warmth beside him at night, and, he secretly admitted to himself, during the day. He frowned, recalling Wolfram's words last night.
/I think maybe we need a little time apart./
But Yuuri didn't want that. He was afraid of what time and distance would do to their friendship, especially when he had so bluntly rejected the blonde knight. He may not be able to consider the Mazoku prince as a life partner, but neither did he want to lose Wolfram's friendship.
And that, he admitted to himself, was the problem. He truly did care about Wolfram. He was Yuuri's best friend in Shin Makoku, and he was loath to lose that because of their thrice-damned engagement. He genuinely liked the Mazoku prince, depended on him, and he hated the feeling that he was losing him.
His steps quickened. He needed to stop Wolfram from leaving. Arriving at the dining hall, his eyes quickly surveyed the room.
The seat beside his was empty, and his heart sank. Wolfram was rarely late, so he had to have skipped breakfast. Most likely because he wanted to avoid Yuuri, and that spoke volumes about the depth of his hurt.
"Ano – " He stammered out. "Has anyone seen Wolfram?"
It was the prolonged silence that clued him in, and he glanced around. Gwendal wouldn't meet his stare, his eyes fixed broodingly at the opposite wall. Günter's expression was troubled, and even he wouldn't look at the Maou directly. Only Conrad returned his stare, but the quiet sorrow in the brown eyes hit Yuuri like a ton of bricks.
"Wolfram left at dawn."
For a moment Yuuri was certain he had heard wrong, because he thought he'd heard Conrad say that Wolfram had left at dawn. However, when the silence lengthened his heart sank to the very bottom of his shoes.
"He's gone?" He couldn't believe it.
Conrad nodded.
/ I think I'll take a short vacation tomorrow/
/ A vacation?/
/ Take care of yourself while I'm gone, Yuuri./
He hadn't even said goodbye.
Yuuri slumped into his seat, absolutely stunned by the turn of events. He had been so sure that he could catch Wolfram before he left, that he could dissuade the blonde from leaving.
Instead Wolfram had gone without even letting him say goodbye.
Hurt rose in his heart. Hurt that threatened to choke him.
"Did- did he say when he's coming back?" The thought struck suddenly, the realization that Wolfram had not really indicated when – or if he was returning sparking a sudden panic.
The sound of wood scraping against stone was jarring, but Gwendal simply ignored their startled looks as he swept out of the hall. Günter bit his lip. He knew Gwendal was deeply upset, but the wounded look in Yuuri's eyes kept him from immediately going after the dark-haired general.
"I'm sure he will be back, Your Majesty." He said, trying to inject the lie with enough conviction to allay the Maou's hurt feelings. Technically, he told himself, he was not lying. The Maou had not categorically asked IF Wolfram was coming back.
"Oh." Yuuri had to be content with that. He sighed, trying to shake off the sense that he was missing Something. He glanced at Wolfram's chair helplessly. "Well, I hope he makes it to Greta's birthday party." He mumbled a trifle forlornly.
No one knew exactly when his adopted daughter's birthday was, so Yuuri had chosen a date and declared it Greta's birthday. He felt that everyone should have one special day for themselves. Wolfram had rolled his eyes at the reasoning, but he had played a big part in planning the event. Yuuri knew his fiancé had been looking forward to the day eagerly. And Greta would be very hurt if one of her parents was absent on her special day.
Conrad inclined his head but wisely kept his mouth shut. To himself he wondered how long they had before Yuuri finally realized that Wolfram was not coming back. Ever.
He sighed. It was not going to be pretty.
-o0o-