Well, first I would like to thank puppyslippers for being my first reviewer, and supporting this travesty of a fanfic. It warms my heart to near volcanic levels. Sorry this took so long to get up. I was having computer troubles (I don't own one) Warning: There is Language in this chapter.

Junk

"Alright Christy, that ones the last house on the route" Said a bespectacled young man indicating to the veryshabby house number pair pulled up slowly in their black, unassuming van, stocked to the hood with various religious paraphernalia including, but not exclusive to crucifixes, t shirts, Bibles and bedazzled bible covers. The pair of them, both Christy and her partner in crime, Ted, had happened upon an interesting revelation after over a year of selling crappy merchandise; if what you happen to be selling is stuffed with religious overtones, people feel a lot more obligated to buy it.

So they set to work, using seedy mediums of acquiring the merchandise, from the task in of using inferior inks (Washes of in the rain, ink) to stealing a shipment of irregular bibles(full of missing pages and mistranslated text). Hey, anything to make money, right?

So Christy jumped out the back of the van and she and Ted grabbed several boxes of the bootlegged merch, and set off down the path to the boarded up dwelling.

"Hey, Ted, you sure somebody lives here?" Christy asked glasses wearing friend. "I don't think this house is even on the Mapquest" she said kicking up some dirt.

"Nah, come on, its may be a crap shack, but I see a light on. What are you afraid? What's the worst that could happen?"

Meanwhile…

"Nothing will stop me this time." He put the barrel to his head. "Nothing!" he cackled madly, finger beginning to squeeze the trigger.

Dingdong!!!

A gunshot sounded out in the very silent room. "Ahhhh fuck, oh god dammit!" said Nny, obviously frustrated by the failed attempt to at suicide. "For the love for god, who comes to call at this hour? He gave a quick glance to the happy noodle clock above The Reverend Meat burger doll, the time shown to be 6:36 in the afternoon.

"Oh, well, so long as you have failed at your pathetic attempt to disprove determinism, I would suggest you see whom is at your door, young Johnny." Reverend Meat smugly suggested, but if Nny didn't know any better, he could have sworn he heard a hint of relief in the plastic tormentor's voice. Grudgingly, he got to his feet slowly, and walked to the front door.

He pushed the door opened, and there was a familiar loud creak as the form of a young man in glasses and young blond girl were revealed. Both were wearing white buttoned down shirts and pressed pants.

Nny stared at them in silence for a length of time that must have seemed to just a little awkward.

"….Hello?"

"Um, yes, hello sir." The Man in glasses began tentatively. "We're here on behalf of the Christians counsel for the Betterment of Mankind. We are here to present you with a fabulous offer for the next half hour. If you buy from our wide selection of products, not only will you receive a twenty percent discount on all items, but the revenue produced will go to help children in impoverished parts of the world."

Ted stood their, looking a little nervous. Understandable being that, as he was speaking, Nny had taken out his suicide pistol was gently scratching the side of his head with the barrel of the gun.

"You see, Nny began slowly, "I have a very small problem with your logic. If collectively, you combined your efforts from door to door sales, and consolidated the monies from the man power, gas, and personal transport, wouldn't that money in its rawest form be able to help the impoverished parts of the world?"

"Um, well, you see the thing about that is-"

"See, that's the sort of thing that pisses me off," Johnny continued in a polite conversational voice, trying to keep sounding pleasant. "You pigs of human waste hide behind your invisible sky man, turning to the faith and good will of the few actually good people out their, and you attempt to turn a profit off of it. And for what? " Nny swooped forward quickly, snatching one of the glimmering bibles out of a pissed off looking Christy's hand. "This crap!" He opened it up, giving the first page a cursory glance. "Did you actually read this? 'God said let there be Blight?' (Actually, that one's pretty funny)"He flipped the back "And your missing half of the good parts in Revelations. 6 pages fell out just now, are you seeing this? If the lord were awake, or cared right now, he would slap you!"

"Hey, look, you skinny assed fuck, if you didn't want to buy anything, you could have just said so." Ted said angrily

"Yeah," the blonde said mirroring him "And the pages that you ripped out means you just bought that book. That'll be 30 bucks, please."

"Or do we have to call the cops" Ted added in for effect.

"Ah, the police." Johnny mused to himself. "Suppose now would be as good a time as any to see if they can find my house yet." With one swift motion, Nny use the 'Bible' and his suicide gun, and knocked both of them out cold.

"I think the world may still be of in need of my 'services' he grinned to himself

Across the way at house 776, a trio of odd looking girls were making their way up the lawn.

A/N Man that took a terribly long time to get out, and for that, I apologize. I appreciate both puppyslippers and invader jay for giving my first reviews. Keep it up, and I will feel more inclined to update more frequently. And feel free to give me input, feed back, and even ideas for pairings and situations. Help me lift the mighty writers block. Three guaranteed pairings are Nny and Shohoku, Shinobu and Dib, and Reiko with Gaz. Sounds like a plan? Good.