Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX, the Republican Party, or any anime stuff that is in this story. I also don't own any E-Heroes(anymore) but I own you all.
A/N: tears streaming down face anime style I feel special. The first chapter was a success(at least by my standards it was) 110+ hits, 5 reviews and 4 favorites lists. I thank all of you. You guys rock. Now that that sappy message is out of the way, on with the second chapter!(and my beef ramen)
The Real Elemental Heroes
Chapter 2: Power of Veto
By Fullmetal Shinobi
TV Announcer Guy: I our last chapter the Republicans attacked Anime City! Gasp! Also, Bubbleman got his head stuck in the garbage disposal, Burstinitrix destroyed a helpless set of curtains, Avian wacked off and Bladedge dismembered himself. Now the Elemental Heroes are about to face off against the evil conservative policies of the Republican Party! Will they be able to defeat the aging white invaders without getting mad at each other and destroying themselves in the process? Read and find out!
The E-Heroes still where we left them at the last chapter: stuck in dramatic poses.
"Can we stop now?" asked Avian.
"Yeah, the readers are back now," said Neos. They all breathed a sigh of relief.
"Now on to the mission we were assigned 3 weeks ago!" exclaimed Bladedge.
"Wait, what was it that we were supposed to do again?" asked Avian. All the E-Heroes shrugged their shoulders.
"Me forget," said Wildheart.
"Somethin' about root beer?" asked Burstinitrix. Just then a heavy, thick stack of rejected alternate fuel station bills crashed through the window and hit Bubbleman in the head.
"Hehehe that was fun! Again! Again!" Bubbleman said, clapping his hands. "Ooh pretty papers!"
Neos flipped through the Harry Potter book-sized stack of paper. "Vetoed anti-oil bills. Wait! Now I remember! We were fighting the Republicans!"
"How you 'member that from stack of paper?" asked Wildheart.
"It's simple. Most every Republican has investments in big oil, and they hate the environment," said Neos.
"Those polluting bastards!"said Necroshade, emo as ever.
"Well, lets go ol' chaps, we must stop the the Republicans from turning our fair city into a right wing wasteland!" exclaimed Sparkman theatrically.
E-HEROES!
The Republicans were causing mass chaos and panic in Anime City. People were screaming, trying to get away from the cheap-suited army of white guys.
A few brave citizens of Anime City had taken up arms and started to fight the invaders. The sound of the clapping of hands and the transmutation of things were heard in various places, and cries of "Wind Scar", "Kage Bushin no Jutsu", "Kamehameha", "Super Fist of the Nose Hair", "Wind Tunnel", "Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu", "Raigeki Blast" and various other technique names were heard in the midst of the battle. And no battle that involves angry southern guys is complete without guns, which where heard on both sides of the battle.
The citizens of Anime City where actually doing pretty well, until the E-Heroes showed up. "No need to worry, brave citizens," Avian said heroically. "The Elemental Heroes are here to save you!"
"The E-Heroes? You guys'll probably make things worse!" shouted a man with long silver hair and dog ears who was wearing red feudal-style robes and wielding a huge-ass sword.
"I knew that it was only a matter of time before these clowns showed up," said a short young man with blonde braided hair, black clothes with a long red coat over them and white gloves.
"Brother, the Elemental Heroes may not be the greatest heroes there are, but at least they try. You shouldn't insult them for trying," said an empty 7-foot suit of armor wearing a loin cloth. The armor then saw Bubbleman trying to pick his nose with a running jackhammer. "I take that back, insult away."
"Now E-Heroes, attack!" Avian shouted heroically. Nobody moved. "I said E-Heroes attack!" Avian said angrily through his teeth. Still nobody moved. Neos started to play his DS, Necroshade continued to be emo again, Burstinitrix tried to set a Moogle on fire and Bubbleman continued to try and pick his nose with the jackhammer. "Why aren't we attacking?"
"Well, it seems like the situation is being taken care of," said Bladedge. It was true, all the citizens of Anime City were doing a good job pound the living crap out of the Republicans.
"Yeah I'm gonna head back to the tower to be emo," said Necroshade as he started back. Most all of the other E-Heroes started to walk back to the tower too.
Wait! Don't leave! What if the citizens need our help?!" screamed Avian. His colleagues didn't change direction. "Think of the readers!" still no change in direction. Avian thought for a moment. "Think of your paychecks!" That particular statement caught their attention. "If we don't at least try to save the city we won't get paid and we'll have to go back to being Yu-Gi-Oh! cards again!" The E-Heroes started to walk back towards where Avian was standing. "C'mon! Lets try to save the city...for our bank accounts!"
"For our bank accounts!" shouted the rest of the E-Heroes, except Bubbleman, who said something involving pancakes.
E-HEROES!
"E-Heroes, Attack!" All the E-Heroes leaped into battle. Avian flew up into the air. "Quill Cascade!!!" thousands of sharp, pointy feathers flew out of Avian's wings and at some of the army of white guys, but they used their briefcases to deflect all the feathers. The off-course feathers punctured a cat-shaped hot air balloon, which flew off into the distance.
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" the people in the balloon screamed as they disappeared and twinkled in the sky.
"Aw crap, not again," said Avian. When Avian wasn't looking, the evil politicians used their super power, their Power of Veto, to bury Avian under a literal mountain of paperwork. "Gahk!"
"Oh the legality!" shouted someone in the crowd that had gathered around the battle to see how bad the E-Heroes were going to screw up.
A little girl in the crowd came up to an annoyed Burstinitrix and said "Aren't you going to help your teammate?"
"Naa, let 'im suffer fer his sins," Burstinitrix replied.
While Avian was squirming under a steaming pile of vetoed bills, Clayman charged into the fray and started to ruthlessly beat the crap out of anything that was wearing a cheap suit.
But the Republicans retaliated by using their Power of Veto to stop Clayman's attack with a giant wall of red tape. Even Clayman's Neanderthal-like strength couldn't get through.
"Not red tape!" shouted someone in the crowd. "Nobody can ever get through the red tape in the legal system!"
"Clayman!"shouted Burstinitrix. She was very protective of Clayman, since most everyone else who she came in contact with was scared of her when she was mad, which was basically all the time, and they all ran away. Clayman was the only person who wasn't scared of her or her fire(he's made of freaking clay, I don't think he can be burned)
During Burstinitrix's touching remembrance, the Republicans started to beat up on Clayman. That made Burstinitrix really mad. Fire started to burn in the seemingly always-on-her-period Elemental Hero's eyes. Her fire was hot enough to melt any man-made thing ever created, even Michael Jackson's face. She was pissed, unimaginably pissed. "Alright you f— heads," she screamed. "I'm gonna cremate all of you!!!"
Burstinitrix started to make a massive, and I mean MASSIVE fireball. The Republicans started to pee themselves. Burtsinitrix then hurled the gigantic fireball at the army of politicians...and missed. The off course mass of flames then collided with a large spaceship with the word "Bebop" painted on the side. Three smaller ships quickly evacuated the falling ship.
"Oh dammit I knew I shoulda gotten that Lasik surgery!" the even more enraged E-Hero cursed. The spaceship crashed where the Republicans where standing and burst into pretty flames. Al the Republicans died, but strangely enough, the crowd was perfectly safe.
"Oooh pretty colors," said Bubbleman.
"Is it over?" asked Bladedge.
"No, Elemental Heroes , it ain't over!" said a southern voice.
"Who the devil said that?" said Sparkman.
"It is I!" the wreckage of the newly-homeless bounty hunters' ship rattled and then burst outwards, revealing the E-Heroes' final foe:"George Dubba Bush!"
"Gasp!" said several members of the crowd.
"Bush! I should have known you where behind this" exclaimed Neos.
"Okay E-Heroes, this is the final battle. We must stop this hick, of the city is doomed to a life of conservatism!" Avian said. No answer. "And we won't get paid!"
"Yeah!" exclaimed the rest of the E-Heroes.
E-HEROES!
Bladedge stood in front of Bush. He lunged at the American president, all the sharp and pointy objects in his armor extended. Bladedge sliced at Bush, but Bush sidestepped, Bladedge missed, and fell down, cutting himself badly all over his body.
"Geez, Bladedge cuts himself more than Necroshade," said Burstinitrix.
"Yeah, he more emo than you,"Wildheart said to Necroshade. Upon hearing this, Necroshade became very angry. And not just emo angry, regular person angry.
"Nobody's more emo than me! Not even the nerdy kid that writes this freakin' story is more emo that me!" Necroshade exclaimed with fire in his eyes. Necroshade charged at Bush in a fit of rage and emoness.
"Wait, does Necroshade even have any super powers?" asked Sparkman.
"Yeah, the power to be depressed for hours on end and spend hundreds of dollars at Hot Topic," said Neos.
"Me no think that counts," said Wildheart.
"Yeah he's boned," said Burstinitrix.
It was true, as soon as Necroshade got close enough to Bush, he got his ass kicked. Everyone knows that emo people can't fight.
"Two down," Bush said in his heavy southern accent. "And...uh...wait, how many of them are left?" Bush started to count the remaining E-Heroes on his fingers. All the E-Heroes, even Bubbleman, sweatdropped. "Lets see 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...yep, 7 to go." Bush isn't very smart.
"Wow, there's somebody that's actually dumber than Bubbleman," Burstinitrix said, glancing in the direction of her mentally challenged teammate, who had taken out the Bubble Blaster.
"Now you be careful with that Bubbleman," Sparkman said to Bubbleman, who seemed to be having fun with his very large firearm. (A/N: is it still called a firearm if it shoots water? Oh well back to the retardedness)
Bubbleman shot a very large bubble at Bush(Man this sounds stupid doesn't it?) Bush used his very special southern-blend Power of Veto to create another red tape barrier to deflect the large implement of water. The bubble sailed in the wrong direction and struck two teenage boys, one with black hair tied in a pigtail and Chinese style clothes, and the other with black hair, a bandanna and clothes that sort of looked like they where from a Legend of Zelda game, who where having a fight over basically nothing. The bandanna-clad then turned into a little black piglet, and pigtailed boy turned into a red haired girl. They both didn't look too happy.
"Sorry!" Avian shouted. "My colleague's retarded!"
"Dee dee dee!" Bubbleman said. Bubbleman was about to fire another bubble, but he was interrupted by a pig to the head. He fell over and hit the ground, the Bubble Blaster hit him in the head, knocking him out.
"Wow, these guys are droppin' like flies. I thought that this would be a harder fight than this," Bush said, scratching his head.
"Okay guys, we need a battle plan, because Bush is a harder opponent than we thought," said Avian.
"He's just a redneck who paid people to vote him into office, he shouldn't be this hard," said Neos.
"Hey, Bush isn't tough! You guys just suck!" shouted some random guy in the crowd.
"No need for alarm, brave citizen, we have the situation under control!" Avian replied, completely ignoring the truth the random guy had just said.
"Let's see how this bloke handles the Spark Blaster!" said Sparkman as he pulled out his favorite weapon.
"Ooooh, pretty shiny!" said Bush.
"It has three shots, and if you get hit with one of them, you instantly revert to the fetal position and continually think about cupcakes!" explained Sparkman. (A/N: the fetal position is the closest thing I could think of in the real world that could compare to Defense Mode in Yu-Gi-Oh, and the cupcakes came from my friend, who likes the word cupcake.)
Sparkman shot all three blasts at Bush. Bush dodged the first one, which struck a random fuzzy animal, and blocked the other two with a clipboard. The deflected shots struck Avian and Sparkman, who promptly went to the fetal position.
"So...many...CUPCAKES!!!" exclaimed the newly mentally-troubled Elemental Heroes, sucking their thumbs and rocking back and forth.
"Oh no! The leader is down! What will we ever do?!" Burstinitrix said sarcastically.
"Take out on Bush?" asked Wildheart.
"Yeah, that works. Attack!" Neos yelled as he rushed to attack the evil, moronic president.
"Wait, what Neos' power again?" asked Wildheart.
"He has the power to merge with the Neo-Spacians fer like 5 minutes, making him a super powrful nerd. But since there are no Neo-Spacians around, he's powerless," explained Burstinitrix, annoyed at her teammate's ignorance.
Just like Burstinitrix said, Neos was basically powerless. He proceeded to suffer the same fate as Necroshade, a swift and total ass-kicking.
"Now there's only uh...1...2..3...4...4. of them left!" Bush counted. "Yeee Haw! I'm gonna win this fight fair an' square! I couldn't even do that with the elections!"
"Not if I have to do with it!" said Wildheart as he drew the Cyclone Boomerang.
"Huh?" Bush said as he was doing the victory dance, but he was interrupted by a very large, almost Hiraikotsu-sized boomerang to the face. And just like any goo boomerang, it came back to its master, Wildheart.
"Heh, nice attack Tarzan, but I doubt you could do it again!" Bush retorted as he spat out a tooth. Wildheart, who being raised in a jungle was about as smart as a coconut, didn't know he was being taunted, and threw his boomerang at Bush again. Bush ducked low and the boomerang came at Wildheart and struck him in the...uh...private area and he fell over, crying in pain.
"Burstinitrix, are we gonna loose?" Clayman asked in his child-like innocence.
"Yeah, we were boned from the start," Burstinitrix replied. As soon as she said that, Bush ran off to destroy the city with an army of oil rig robots.
Meanwhile, a figure was sitting a room in another part of town, watching the destruction on a giant-screen television. The figure was commissioner Komui Li.
"Brother, the Elemental Heroes have lost!" Komui's sister Linali exclaimed.
"No surprise there," sighed Komui. "I can't stand to watch this anymore, call in the Destiny Heroes!" Linali dialed "D" on the phone for the Destiny Heroes, who came ten times faster than the Elemental Heroes have ever shown up. "Destiny Heroes, I need you to fix another E-Hero caused disaster," Komui ordered.
"Heh, that's what we live for!" said Captain Tenacious. With that, they disappeared in their dark awesomeness.
D-HEROES!
The Elemental Heroes, who where all sitting on the street corner watching the Destiny Heroes beat the southern stuffing out of George W. Bush and his oil robots, except for Avian and Sparkman, who were still in the fetal position. They all looked ashamed, even Bubbleman.
Komui, along with Linali, the bounty hunters of the Bebop, everyone who was originally fighting the Republicans, the two form-shifting boys, all of the townspeople and every other person who the Elemental Heroes have ever cause trouble to(and there's a lot of them) had gathered around them, not looking very happy.
"Does this mean we're fired?" Bladedge asked.
END
Huzzah! The second chapter is done! Finally, my imagination can have a slight break. I really hope that this wasn't too long of a chapter, because I just complained about a long chapter, and I really don't want to add "hypocrite" to the long list of names I have been called.
Please everyone review, because I really need positive feedback to fix my mistakes(not about length though. I'm already aware of that) or make it funnier if it need be. And, another important reason to update is to tell me if you want me to continue the story. Yes, the sad truth is that I was planning to end this story after this chapter, but seeing the success(at least I think it was success)of my last chapter I am rethinking it. So tell me if you would like to see this "literary masterpiece" of mine continued, and hopefully supply me with new ideas, because my imagination tanks are bone dry and the only other remotely good idea I have for this story was supplied by one of my reviewers(who will remain nameless just in case) and that is having Wildheart be a business man and Necroshade be a happy go lucky go getter(what ever the hell that means) So the moral of this rant is this: REVIEW!
P.S.: If any of you would like to see a story called The Real Destiny Heroes, write it yourself because I'm too busy to. Fullmetal Shinobi out.