The Tardy Adventures of Hatake Kakashi

By knuckz

-

Summary: Nobody ever believed Kakashi's excuses for being late. But what if they were true?

-

"Crossing the Road" by knuckz (suggested by LadyMartel4000)

-

Hatake Kakashi was merrily skipping down the street, not noticing (or caring) that it might look a bit weird for an elite jounin to do so (unless it were Gai). The other people on the street did look at him sceptically, thinking that the Yondaime's student had finally lost his mind, but the silver-haired jounin did not seem to care (or notice).

For once, Kakashi had woken up early. He was looking forward to surprising his genin team by showing up on time for once. They would be so happy; he just knew it. The happy look on the son of his sensei, the smile on the pink-haired Sakura's face; maybe even the usually indifferent Uchiha Sasuke might break out into a smile! It would definitely be a glorious moment for Hatake Kakashi.

But as he was about to cross the road, he looked to his right, feeling a presence there, and saw an old woman with a cane walking extremely slow.

She was walking so slow that it almost seemed as if she were waddling!

Give her a brown robe, a knife, and a lamp, and she might pass off as a strange green-skinned mole-like creature with ultimate stabbing power. Kakashi thought to himself. He tried to force these thoughts from his mind and focus on getting to his team, but alas, it was not meant to be.

In an action which one might call the 'flames of youth', Kakashi turned to the old women to offer her some assistance.

"Excuse me, but would you like some help?" he asked. The old hunch-backed woman turned her head towards his and peered at him.

"Eh?"

Kakashi sweat-dropped anime style. Raising his arm, Kakashi pointed across the street and tried again.

"Would you like help crossing the street?" the silver-haired jounin asked again. The woman leaned in and peered at him even closer.

"Eh?"

"Would you like help crossing the street?" Kakashi spoke up, raising his voice slightly.

"Did you say something, young man?" the old lady asked. A vein of annoyance bulged in Kakashi's forehead.

"I said, do you want help CROSSING THE STREET!?" Kakashi all but yelled at her. Then, out of nowhere, he felt a sharp pain on the side of his head, and he was on the ground seeing stars.

"How dare you yell at me!? No respect for your elders! Is this what the youth of Konoha has become!?" the old lady shrieked, repeatedly whacking Kakashi with her cane.

"Ow. Ow. Ow. OW!" That last one had especially hurt.

Kakashi, finally having had enough, deflected the next hit and swiftly jumped across the street, adamant about getting away from the old crone. But to his great surprise, she jumped right after him.

And as if it were in slow motion, he watched in shock as her cane swung at his head while she was in the air.

Uh oh.

There was pain, then... darkness.

-

"Oi, wake up!"

Kakashi jerked awake. Sitting up, he noticed that he had been lying on the dirt street, out cold. There was a crowd around him, but the old lady was nowhere in sight.

People were looking at him, some with great interest and some with disgust. A woman led her young son away from the crowd, muttering about drunkards. Kakashi sweat-dropped in embarrassment.

A brown-haired man walked over to one-eyed jounin.

"You okay?" the man asked him.

Kakashi stood up and dusted the dirt from his clothes.

"I'm fine. Thanks for waking me up." Kakashi replied in thanks.

Checking that his mask and forehead protector were in place, Kakashi jumped away from the scene much to the shock of the crowd, intent on getting to his students. He thought that perhaps he could still get there on time.

But alas, it was not meant to be.

"YOU'RE LATE!"

It seemed that hours had passed while Kakashi had been out cold.

"Ahaha, sorry, sorry! I was helping an old lady cross the street." Kakashi explained, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. Naruto and Sakura reacted as they always did, much to the amusement of Kakashi.

"LIAR!"

And Sasuke looked grumpy.

Kakashi sighed sadly as he continued rubbing his head.

Ow.

-

End

-

Note: Tonberry FTW!