AU: You guys still out there? Anyway, here's another flashback chapter – Maria gives Jasper a little lesson on how to use his powers. Enjoy!

6

Every day was the same. Travel, recruit, kill, not always in that order, and not always the same way. Never stop, never sleep, never let down his guard. Keep to the shadows, sparse as they were in the flatlands of Middle America, and keep away from regular folk except to feed.

Jasper had become a monster. Maria's every whim became his own, and his strange gifts made it easy to predict his enemies' motives and take them down all the more quickly. It was brutal work, killing a vampire, but it could be done. Jasper lost track of the carnage that piled up in his wake after the first week, and the smell of death no longer troubled him.

Maria was building an army. Jasper's job was to feel his way through the new recruits—other newly minted vampires like himself—and let her know which ones were worth keeping. The others, he was ordered to destroy. Many of them were soldiers, his old comrades in arms. Many of them killed each other, regardless of whether or not Maria wanted to keep them. Jasper understood. If he didn't keep close to his maker all the time, he may have given in to the rage and thirst as well.

He turned a few himself. It was so easy, walking or riding up to them in his "Major Whitlock" uniform, and then sinking in his venom-coated teeth. Not everyone survived the change, and it was difficult, once the skin broke, to keep from drinking, but Jasper learned from his mistakes. A thrill of pride and satisfaction welled up in him every time he turned one successfully. But that was Maria, always watching from the shadows, and giving him "rewards" for every job well done.

Jasper didn't know what to think, and mostly he tried not to. Surely he must've felt something, but the chaotic, often violent emotions of those around him left little room for his own. In a way, he was glad that his mind remained blank and unfocused, because if he paused to consider the world he'd fallen into, it would probably drive him mad. Yes, it was better this way. Better not to think.

One day, Maria took him aside from the others. "I'd like you to try something for me, Major," she said. She only called him that when she had a job in mind that would require his experience as an officer. The title was almost snide, coming from her, but it gave Jasper a hint about what was coming next.

"Yes, Maria?" said Jasper.

"We're losing too many men," said Maria. "It's such a shame for you to go to all this trouble, and then have them rip each other to pieces before we even reach the next camp. Don't you think?"

Jasper narrowed his eyes at her. Maria's hard smile cut her face in two, a thin red line hedged by lips that appeared luscious and full at first, but were strained and cracked when one looked past the mask of magic. Her eyes were black, glossy and dead as the eyes of a doll. He couldn't understand what she was driving at. There was something she wanted him to do, something he hadn't done before, and it was connected to his ability to feel the emotions of those around him. Whatever it was, it would not be pleasant. Or maybe Maria was just hoping for unpleasantness.

"Yes," he said finally. "It's a waste. We need to find a way to control them long enough to learn our style of combat."

The crack in Maria's face broadened. "Yes," she said. "Jasper, tell me what you're feeling right now."

"I—Um. . . I feel anxious, excited, a little irritated—"

"No, that's what I'm feeling, Jasper. What do you feel?"

Jasper shook his head. "I don't know."

"Try." Her tone allowed for no more excuses.

Jasper flexed his cold fingers and closed his eyes. He hoped that whatever this was, it would be over soon. It felt like so long since he'd searched his own feelings, or even paid attention to them. He wasn't sure he remembered how. A twinge of unpleasant tightness deep in his gut made itself known; dread, and the sensation of bracing for a blow. He was terrified of disappointing Maria. But how to voice that in a way she'd understand? "I don't want to say the wrong thing," he said.

"How could you say the wrong thing?" Maria asked in her falsely sweet voice. "Go on. Tell me the truth."

"I'm frightened of you," said Jasper. And with the words came a rush of revulsion. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head.

"That's because you know me better than most," said Maria. "Tell me more."

"I don't want to upset you. I want to keep you satisfied more than I want anything in the world. But I resent it."

"Resent what?"

"The power that you have over me. I want to make you happy, but I also wish you didn't exist." Jasper laughed—a strained, nervous sound that had nothing to do with amusement. He'd spoken more just now than he had in months. His voice felt unnatural inside his dry, icy throat.

"I see," said Maria. She didn't seem upset. Only curious, and oddly calculating. "Jasper, I want you to think about something else. Not about me, but about something that makes you feel happy, calm, content—think of that."

"Why?"

"Concentrate. Take all the time you need."

So Jasper closed his eyes once more and tried to focus. He traced his memories back to the fateful night at the fort, before he'd turned back down the road to Galveston. He'd been content then. It wasn't happiness he'd felt, but the lazy self-satisfaction of a job well done. He latched onto that feeling and tried to make it grow in his mind.

"Are you ready, Jasper?" Maria's voice came from a foggy distance, small and unimportant, like a voice in a dream.

"Mm?" Jasper murmured.

"Look at me."

Jasper opened his eyes. When he locked eyes with Maria he got a whiff of greed, and again, the anxiety, and understood what he was meant to do. He stared at her, blocking out the harsh timbre of her mind and pushing out with his own. Maria blinked, then let out a soft sigh. "Oh," she said. "That's quite good, Jasper. I wasn't expecting you to do so well your first try. Now listen to me carefully. . ."