Alberich had gotten up early, and facing the east, he began to stretch and move, practicing the sword drills which came naturally to him after decades of use. As he did this, he began to chant softly the normal office of SunRising which was such an imbedded part of his faith. Not that it was light, but he expected that it would make no difference, considering he normally said these prayers well before sunlight reached the salle. What he did not expect was to hear a short way off a soft soprano voice echoing his words, but not in Karsite as he, or Myste, if she were so inclined, were likely to. No, this was done in Valdemarian, but with an accent and syntax that was far more similar to Karsite than that which he heard so regularly from Gerichen and the other worshippers of Vkandis Sunlord in Haven. Finishing briskly, he moved through the trees that surrounded the camp and at the edge of the stream where they had washed their dishes the night before sat Talia, still absorbed in her prayers, which ended with a short litany both to the Lord of Light and to Lady Bright. Touched at the childlike innocence of her prayers, he moved a hand out towards her, before he caught himself. She had noticed the movements though, and frozen before turning, and upon sight of him, visibly relaxing. He nodded, impressed at her awareness, although he was not sue if he liked what that suspicion implied. He had needed to coax her out of that suspicious fear of him when she first entered the Collegium. This journey back home though seemed as if it were awaking her old distrust of men full force. Not that some distrust would not be useful in this case, but if the Queen's Own was going to startle any time that Skif or him went near her, it would make their mission much more difficult, not to mention the journey itself.
Sitting still near the water's edge with her, treating her he would with the same caution he had over men delirious with pain or fever after a campaign. Talia wrung her hands, and he gently, but very firmly grabbed a hold of them, shaking her shields enough that, in her fragile state, while he certainly did not receive nearly the shock he might have if her shields would have given even an inch, he found himself blasted full strength by the projection of all the pain her people were going through, her own ethical dilemna with the use of her gift, and a deep and growing concern for him and Myste, especially for that.
She might as well be concerned for an old boot! Alberich thought with a touch of amusement, trying to hide the fact that the Talia's worry touched him very deeply.
Try telling that to someone who can't get into your mind. You know you like it! was Kantor's own amused reply.
"Tell me, delinda, is there anyway that I can help you with those concerns you were praying for? They say in Karse that even an ordinary person can become a tool in the Sunlord's hands. Surely the deities you pray to might do the same?" he said in the formal Valdemarian that he used when stressed, making sure that his voice was pitched soft enough and gentle so that it would not frighten her. It was a skill that any soldier learned to keep from frightening horses and causing a stampede or injury, but he did not think that either the Queen's Own or her Companion would appreciate being compared to a warhorse.
Talia shook her head, the brown red curls still dark in the false dawn which was just starting to show, closing down so alarmingly fast that even Alberich knew that it would be a problem soon enough. A blue flash behind his eyes confirmed that, as he saw the sort of fight and unleashing of an Empathetic attack which would cripple them all for weeks at least, if not kill them and their Companions outright.
"Just be grateful you were not with her and Kris when she was first relearning control of her gift. She nearly killed Kris and Tantris more than once trapped in that Waystation, although she only fully lost control once. But according to Rolan, if the Companions had not redirected that energy, you would still be searching for another Queen's Own. If a Queen there still was! He says to get her to Ground and Center. Correct her like you would a student whose stance is going to hurt both you and them the moment that they make a lunge."
Kantor's warning and advice were sound, and he grabbed a hold of Talia's shoulder firmly, though not enough to hurt her, and shook her, enough to pull her attention back to her surroundings. "Ground, girl, before you hurt us all. I do not wish to become Companion feed for your Rolan!"
Talia followed that command as automatically as she would any direction in the salle. And then, once everything was firmly reinforced, she broke down in tears, the automatic effort it had taken apparently enough to break down what was left of her emotional reserves.
"This is my fault! They are killing people like me, and they are my people. And I can do nothing to protect you once there. I didn't even fit there when I was one of them! How can I make any of you fit? All of us our targets there. Skif because he has so much problem in believing in any sort of religion, you for being from Karse, which raids the Holds often enough to make them more disliked there than most of Valdemar, Myste because she is a woman and can read and write very well, and me simply because I'm Outcast. I should have never been sent out here again! If anything happens to Myste, we're all dead!"
Alberich tried to puzzle through the hysterical logic of this argument, and felt as if there was something important that Talia had no told him.
There is, but its nothing that Aleirian and I have not told you and Myste a million times already. And you won't hear us.
Ignoring the desperately exasperated tone in his Companion's voice, he weighed the risk of ignoring her evasion or pushing to find out more. He decided to push her a little further, using a slight and purely ethical bit of Mindspeech to see what it was that she was hiding.
And that was a mistake, for Talia's weeping had gone from self doubt to anger which was seeking an outlet. One which he had unwittingly provided.
"You have no idea what I am feeling right now! I am nearly sick with fear, and trying to figure out how to save my people and keep my friends alive. How many Holderkin Heralds are there? About as many as there are Karsite Heralds. Or former thieves! So how am I to save a people I barely belong to, who disowned me because I did not want to be pregnant at the ripe old age of 14! I am terrified of what I'm going to find when we get to the Hold, and I'm trying to help two idiots who are going to get us all killed unless they acknowledge their Lifebond and let me put up protections so that Myste doesn't feel every time you get bruised in practice. If you want to help you can quit being so damned stubborn and closed off. I know you can't get emotionally involved in a fight. Lord and Lady, that is why we are called in to judge half the damn debates we are! But there is difference between wearing your heart on your sleeve and cutting yourself so completely that any of us who want to help can't. But it never occurred to you that you would hurt anyone doing that because that's what you always do. Well, I've seen enough others in the Healer's Collegium because of this, and I'm the only Healer of any sort you've got here, so knock it off or do something. But, to the nine hells with it, it will end NOW!"
All of Cratach's warnings about not upsetting a Healer came back to mind, and facing the Queen's Own, he wished he had remembered that before he had spoken. He had never seen what a MindHealer could do when cornered, and as Talia's gift lashed out at him, he stumbled, blocking as best as he could against that mental assault. It should have been funny that he would be afraid of Talia, who was less than half his size and, while fit, not built like a fighter but so delicate no one could picture her holding a sword. But with all of the anger, fear, self-doubt, and sheer mental pain that she felt projecting at him, he thought he would have rather faced the whole Mercenary Guild unarmed rather than fight with her. It was Kantor stepping between them and picking up the Queen's Own by the back of her collar which broke the attack. Once he was no longer breathless and shaking, he looked at the Queen's Own, still angry and shaken herslef, but obviously calm and in control once more as she stood haloed in the early morning light and the angry words began to settle in.
"A Lifebond? Me? Myste? How- when - that possible it is not!" He said, stumbling over the words stupidly.
"Yes it is, probably since before the Tedrel Wars, and the rest, well ,you will have to accept just like the rest of us. I should not have snaped like that its just."
"Peace, Talia. My stony mask I will keep, but right perhaps you are. On this sort of mission, with such needs as we have, emotion must be distant, but blocked off not fully. So try I will to share anything you need of me to with our Companions so that receive it you may. For a warrior, hard this is. But attempt it I will. Ask any of your fellow Healers, Herald, but an order of theirs, disobeyed I have never."
Bent repeatedly, misinterpreted deliberately, but never truly broken. And if I am dealing with something as unstable as a Lifebond, I will not tempt the Sunlord's patience, or Talia's, by making that mistake again.
She's right, there is a Lifebond between you and Myste, but your age will help make it more stable and less like a moonstruck Companion with their Chosen. Kantor added.
Fortunately, Talia, once more the cheerful and quiet Herald that he admired, nodded with a wry smile at the interrupted but accepted apology.
"Now, little do I know of the Hold and their beliefs, but your prayer sounded much like the prayers I've learned to the Sunlord. Can you tell me more about the religion of your people before we go back and see if the others awake are yet?"
And by the time Talia had told him of it, and offered yet another apology for her temper, the sun had risen and the sounds of stirring and whickering Companions let them know that it was time for them to rejoin the others before they got up and began preparing breakfast without them.