Chapter 4

It took the McDonald's employees a solid hour to break Batman out of the fun zone's crazy tube. Needless to say, the franchise's manager was not particularly pleased with him. He ended up paying over $300 for damage costs and was asked not to enter the facility again.

When this headache was over, he frantically began his search for Crane. Unfortunately, since he really knew nothing about Crane's personal interests, this was not an easy task. He drove his tank throughout the small town, stopping at the occasional drug store and bar to pop his head in and look around. Unfortunately, this did not lead him to Crane. However, it did succeed in frightening several small children at Chuck E. Cheese.

He was at last beginning to lose hope when a figure caught his eye on the grass in the local park that Batman was passing. He quickly switched lanes and pulled his tank into the small parking lot, taking up several car slots. Just as he had thought, it was Crane sprawled out on the crisp grass located near a small duck pond. Next to him was a small bag of bird feed. Batman eyed it with a queer expression. He was afraid that if he spoke, it might startle Crane and cause him to run. Therefore, he stood awkwardly behind, not entirely certain of what he should do.

"So, you found me," Crane mumbled, throwing some feed at a nearby duck. Batman sat next to him and was silent. "Are you going to take me back to Gotham now?"

"Only if you want me to," Batman replied. Crane turned to him, interested.

"I left you abandoned in a bright pink kiddy tunnel… and you're still not going to lock me away?"

"This isn't about me, Crane. You told the police that if we gave you a day of freedom, you would give them important information about plans against Gotham. We're hoping that you'll keep your word."

Crane turned back to the pond pensively. He lifted the bag of bird feed and gestured for his companion to take a handful. Batman shook his head.

"What? They're just a bunch of ducks. Are you afraid or something?" Batman squinted at Crane and, after a moment of hesitation, threw a handful of feed at the birds. "Great job. Now watch this." Suddenly, Crane got on his knees, moved his hands to his mouth and started making duck noises. Batman glanced about nervously.

"Crane, do you have to do that?" Crane scoffed and looked at him.

"I'm sorry. Am I embarrassing you?"

"No. I just don't want you to attract the ducks."

"Oh dear… You are afraid, aren't you?"

"Fear has nothing to do with it. I just don't like them."

"Uh huh." Crane was not quite convinced. As soon as he knew Batman was not expecting it, he inconspicuously returned his hands to his mouth. "QUAAAACK!" he shouted directly in Batman's ear. Batman jumped backwards.

"What is wrong with you, Crane?" he snapped, snatching the bird feed away from him. "You never used to be this immature and obnoxious!"

"Oh please, Bats," Crane said, smiling. "I'm a psychiatrist. I can put on whatever personality I wish to have. Today, I've chosen 'immature and obnoxious' just because I know you can't do a thing to stop me."

Batman was no longer listening to Crane. Instead, his eyes were focused on a band of ducks, which were slowly wading closer and closer to him. They saw the bag of feed in his hand and were willing to do anything to obtain it. "Come on, Crane. We're leaving." Crane now noticed the ducks and decided to stand.

"Ok. Before they attack you, I guess we can go."

Unfortunately, Crane said this too late. The ducks had ganged up on Batman and were flapping their wings, grasping onto his cape with their angry beaks ferociously. Despite the fact that his partner was flailing his arms in utter panic, Crane somehow managed to remain calm. He bent down and picked up the bird feed, which Batman had dropped, tossing several handfuls into the pond. The ducks quickly chased after it, forgetting the object of their attention. Batman leaped to his feet, grabbed Crane's arm and pulled him to the tank, driving away as quickly as he could.