Chapter 5

"Where do you want to go now?" Batman asked, plucking a feather from his cape.

"How about a library?" Crane suggested. This seemed reasonable to Batman and he seemed to recall seeing one on his way to the duck park. He was correct and soon pulled into the lot of the town library.

"I don't have a library card," Batman admitted as they approached the building.

"Tsk tsk!" Crane scolded. "That's fine though. To be honest, I just want to use the computer."

Though Batman would have much rather looked through the books, he had no choice but to sit by Crane as he surfed the Internet.

"Oh! Look at that!" Crane exclaimed. "621 new emails. Where do I begin?" Batman tried to suppress a groan as Crane proceeded to check each individual email. Finally, he was becoming slightly annoyed.

"Crane, half of these messages is spam. You don't have to open them all."

"I know what spam mail looks like, Bats. Oh! Look! Someone sent me something good…" Now Batman really wanted to groan. Apparently, one of Crane's friends had sent him a forwarded email. And not just any forwarded email… A personality quiz. "Come on! Let's take it!" Crane urged him. Before giving Batman a chance to defend himself, Crane had opened the link to the quiz. " 'Which Disney Princess Are You?'" Crane grinned and glanced at Batman. "Well, Bats? Which Disney Princess are you? Let's find out…" Crane opened another window to the same site. "This way we can both take the quiz at the same time!" Batman wasn't quite as excited by this as Crane was. "Ok… question number 1… Do people often call you rebellious?"

Batman thought for a moment. "Yes."

"Oh, good. Me too." Crane made several clicks and continued. "Question 2… Are you a hot blonde, fiery redhead or bold brunette?"

Batman let out a long sigh. "That has nothing to do with my personality and I refuse to answer."

"Riiiight…" Crane said dryly. "Because if I knew your hair color, I would TOTALLY be able to guess your identity!" When Crane said this, his decibel level had apparently raised. A librarian immediately began to shush them.

"Next question!" Batman demanded in a hoarse whisper.

"Fine! Next question… Describe your perfect date: (A) Reading. (B) Staying at home, cleaning for your midget friends. (C) Having your fairy godmother make you a pretty dress for a ball. (D) Swimming around, daydreaming in a pool full of junk. (E) Flying on a magic carpet with a monkey and a parrot. (F) Sleeping all day."

Batman thought deeply. "F, definitely."

"Ok…" Crane looked at the options again. "I think I'll go with A. Whoa. How boring are we?" He scrolled down a bit. "Next… What is your perfect boyfriend like? Hee hee. Well, Bats?"

"Well… If I have to choose… Wait, what are my options?"

"(A) Someone hairy and monstrous. (B) Someone who doesn't care that you live with seven other men. (C) Someone who likes pet rats. (D) Someone with legs. (E) Someone who's really poor, but compromises his identity to impress you. (F) Someone who can wake you up with a… kiss."

"OH GROSS!" They both exclaimed at the same time, causing many people to turn and stare.

"I don't want to have to talk to you boys again," the librarian warned.

"Sorry," they whispered in unison.

"Well, Bats? What's your choice? Just as a warning, if you say E, I'll never get into that tank with you again."

"Well… My perfect girlfriend would be… D, I guess."

Crane shrugged. "Yeah, I guess legs are important. I'll pick that too. Ok, final question. Are you the fairest of them all?"

"Yes," Batman replied, without a bit of hesitation.

"Hmmm! Well aren't we cocky?" Crane said with disdain. "Well, we can't both be the fairest of them all. And since I refuse to conform to your egotism, I'm going to say… NO."

"Oh, that will show me," Batman replied sarcastically.

"Getting feisty on me, Bats? Good. I've been waiting for you to break out of your little Battie shell. Ok… Time for the results…" Crane seemed to be reveling in the prospect of getting to see which Disney Princess he most resembled. Batman was slightly less enthusiastic. "Here we go…" Crane mumbled, gazing at the screen. "YES! Sweet! I'm Belle!" he exclaimed, nearly jumping from his seat.

Batman shook his head condescendingly. "No."

"What- What do you mean, no? Are you contradicting the results of the online quiz?"

"It's not the least bit official. Probably some 13-year-old girl posted it."

"Well, let's see what result you ended up with…" Crane switched windows and scrolled down to Batman's test results. All of a sudden, he let out the biggest, most obnoxious guffaw Batman had heard all day.

"Shut up, Crane. There's obviously something wrong with the quiz…" Crane's large, taunting smile persisted. "It's not that funny."

"It kind of is! I am going to have sooo much fun with this," he said, elbowing Batman. Batman pushed him back, annoyed. And this soon developed into a rather pathetic cat fight.

"That's it!" the librarian snapped. "Out!" Both men were escorted off the premises.

"Oh, cheer up. We have more important places to visit," Crane assured him, as Batman crossed to the tank, his arms crossed indignantly. "Don't be too offended… SNOW WHITE!"