The Pain

Dean sat on the bed, his arms resting on the top of his legs. He felt crushed, as if the world had just come crashing on top of him. Castiel's confession had struck him painfully. He couldn't help but wish that the angel had been angry with him. Anger, he could deal with. Anger was something he was used.

The grief and pain of someone who couldn't help but admit that he loved, however, was completely different. He couldn't take away Castiel's pain with a few wisecracks. And, because the angel was refusing to identify the person responsible, he couldn't go rip apart the bastard who had done it.

Dean closed his eyes and tears escaped, freely rolling down his cheeks. He wanted to protect Castiel. He wanted to take him in his arms and make sure no one ever hurt him ever again. And yet Dean knew that such ideas were downright ridiculous. But he wanted it anyway.

He then heard a key in the lock and realized Sam was back. He quickly wiped his face and stood up, making sure he would appear composed before Sam saw him. He turned and made it appear that he had been looking through the weapons bag when Sam came in.

"Hey," Sam said, setting a couple sodas on the table.

"Hey."

"So… everything alright?"

Dean flinched and squeezed his eyes shut, grateful that Sam couldn't see his face. He swallowed hard before speaking.

"I had a talk with Cas," he said, trying desperately to keep the emotion out of his voice.

"Yeah? What did he say?"

Dean gripped the bag in front of him tighter. Another tear escaped down his face. He didn't know if he could even bring himself to say it. Saying it would make it that much more real.

Sam became worried instantly at Dean's silence. He saw his brother's tense frame and knew something was wrong.

"Dean? What's wrong? What did Castiel say?"

Dean lowered his head. He swallowed again before answering.

"Someone hurt Cas," Dean managed to force out in a soft voice.

Sam's eyes widened. He quickly came over to Dean's side.

"Someone hurt him? Who?"

Dean let out a bitter chuckle. "I don't know! He wouldn't tell me! The most he would say was that it was another angel, but wouldn't say who. He said… that there was nothing I could do about it and that it would… distract me from the case."

"Sam shook his head in amazement. "Did he say what happened to him?"

That question was it. Dean could feel the composure he had fought so hard to maintain slipping from his grasp. The pent up tears began running down his cheeks and a sob escaped his throat.

"They raped him, Sam! A fucking angel raped him! What the fuck kind of fucking angel rapes someone? Especially another angel!"

Sam's jaw dropped in horror.

"Oh my god… Dean… I'm sorry…"

Dean shook his head furiously, angry both at the unnamed angel that had hurt Castiel and himself for not being able to control his emotions.

"All I know is, Sam, is that when this case is over I'm gonna find out who the son of a bitch is and I'm going to rip them apart. I don't give a rat's ass if an angel or not! I…" His voice trailed off, unable to say anymore.

Sam put his hand on Dean's shoulder and nodded.

"It's OK, Dean. I'll even help you. No one deserves that, but especially Castiel."

Dean nodded as he took some deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself. "Thanks, Sam."

"He's right about one thing, though."

"What's that?"

"For right now, you do need to stay focused on protecting the seal."

Dean gave him an incredulous look.

"Sammy, right now I could give a shit about the damn seals."

"But Castiel cares and, besides the fact that the fate of the world depends on it, he wants you to care about it. It would make him feel a little better knowing that you actually saved it."

Dean thought about what Sam had said. Deep down, he knew it was the truth. He also knew that he had to keep his priorities in check, no matter how strong his feelings were for Castiel. He reluctantly nodded.

"OK. OK, we'll take care of the seal first."

Sam studied Dean for moment before nodding. "OK."

"So," Dean said, trying to put on his business-as-usual-voice. "You have a plan, then?"

Sam hesitated for a moment. He couldn't help but want to get Dean to talk more about Castiel, but he had been the one to tell Dean that they had to stay focused.

"I think so. Not sure if it'll work or not, but it's worth a shot."

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Yeah, I know this is a little short! I have to get to ready for work, though, and I was itching to post another chapter. I'm dying to write the few chapters because there's one chapter I have in my head that I think is going to be awesome! Well, at least the visual in my head is pretty awesome anyway! : )