Ch 11 The Saddest Chapter I will EVER Write

We left Italy and headed to England immediately. I would describe how we got there and how we ended up at some beat up castle-like thing filled with people like George and…I can't even think his name…

We walked in through these huge oak doors, signs of a battle all around us. I followed where my heart led me...or should I say the space where my heart once was; it used to be still and whole…now it just didn't beat. I could feel curious glances come toward Spark and me, but I honestly didn't care. I walked silently toward where I saw a redheaded family and a girl with bushy brown hair. I saw the two people I'd been looking for; one earless and one with longer hair than the rest; Charlie and George. "Where is he?" My voice was a whisper to them but to my own sensitive ears it was too loud. I could hear it crack with emotion and could sense the pity coming from the weeping Molly who was leaning on her husband. "Where is his body?"

George looked astounded. "How did you…"

George's question was cut off as Spark ran past me and hugged him. I didn't even bother reminding her that he was only human and she could snap him in about 5 seconds if she squeezed too hard. I looked away, feeling the bits of my heart shatter even more.

Charlie stood up and put his arm around me. "Come on. I'll take you to him." His voice was soft and quiet but reassuring. I reminded myself to thank him later.

George looked at Spark to Charlie to me to Spark. "Wait. You three know each other?"

Spark nodded. "Umm yeah. About that…."

Charlie interrupted her. "Yes. We met once. A while ago."

***

Spark and I had decided we wanted some sightseeing and Spark wanted to see if she could still feel the emotions of dragons, so we found ourselves in Romania. It didn't take long before Spark stopped dead in her tracks, "You feel that?" She asked tensing up.

"Fear?"

"And lots of it, curiosity, fear, emotional pain, this is a dragon El." She moved quickly towards the emotions to find this beautiful deep orange colored dragon that could not be more than 2 years old. "He's beautiful, look at him." She whispered from behind a tree.

"He's also being abused." I watched a large man whip the dragon. Spark did something strange, she moved towards the dragon that looked at her. There was a strange connection there, the moment the dragon saw Spark it felt safe, well as safe as it could.

"Who are you?" The man whipping the dragon stared at Spark, obviously mystified by her veela like beauty.

"I am someone who will hurt you if you continue beating this innocent animal." She said weaker than she meant to be.

The man laughed obviously not as afraid as he should be of Spark. "Oh really, what are you going to go about it, girly?"

I felt Spark tense; this was not going to be pretty. She flashed her fangs, "I'll kill you." Her words were deep and vengeful.

"What are you?" He backed against a tree dropping the whip. I held my arms out and the dragon came to me, getting out of harm's way. We both watched Spark with wonder.

"I'm what you fear at night, what sends children under their covers, the beast that feeds on human blood." She was even scaring me, who knew she could be this... typical vampire?

It amazed me how someone as petite and seemingly breakable as her made a grown man tremble in fear, "You're a... a..."

"Vampire." She hissed, fangs bared as close to the man's neck as she could get without biting him right before he ran. Calming down she sat against a tree, the dragon I was holding went right to her after and nuzzled against her, making her emotions do a complete 180. Smiling she pet the dragon's head, "Hey sweetheart, I think I'll keep you. Can I name you Neflend?"

I watched as the dragon seemed to nod and I could feel that the dragon loved Spark and instantly became hers. "Sparkle, we can't take a dragon with us."

"So we find a place for him?" She asked with puppy dog eyes wanting this dragon more than anything.

"I think we passed one on our way here, the guy in charge looked capable." Starting to walk I laughed as the dragon took Spark onto his back and flew her to a dragon farm.

"Whoa." A man with red hair stared at Spark and the dragon as I ran up but stayed unseen.

"Um, hi?" She said with a small laugh. "I found this dragon being abused, unfortunately I can't take him with me, I was wondering..." Spark was cut off by wonder as she watched the man circle around her, staring at her up and down.

"I've never seen one of your kind in person before, you are very fascinating, Miss..?" He was tapping his chin now and I could feel the confusion and anger coming off of Spark.

"For the last time... I'M NOT A VEELA!" She growled.

"A veela? Who would mistake you for a veela? My brothers probably would come to think of it, but no, you're a vampire." He touched her arm but didn't flinch like most did from our cold hard skin. "My name is Charlie Weasley by the way."

"Weasley? Any relation to a Fred or George Weasley?" I asked coming out from behind the tree.

"Two of you, it is my lucky day. Yes, they are my younger brothers." The man took me in and smiled. "How do you two know them?"

Spark gave me this strange look and an emotion that I could only describe as feared excitement. She didn't want to say she was dating a human, so she avoided the question, "Oh I apologize, my name is Spark and this is Elanor."

"Pleasure is all mine ladies." I could feel he was at a loss of what to do, obviously he knew a lot about us at least enough to know we don't need much. "So who is this beautiful creature?"

Spark pets her dragon, "I have named him Neflend, and he's rather fond of me." Laughing, Charlie and I watched as the newly christened Neflend nuzzled against her.

"As I see. And I assume you have ability?"

"I feel emotions; dragons are the only creature it works on. If I'm feeling strongly enough, my feelings will radiate to others." Spark explained sitting down against a tree with Neflend as close to her lap as he could get.

"Spark... we need to go, you have a date tonight... A rather big one if I should say so." Of course I knew all about the date, George always passes them by me.

"Wait, Spark... is your first name Jennifer?"

Well, she was shocked, to say the least. "Yes, it is."

"You're dating my younger brother, and I thought he was kidding by how beautiful he said you were. So that means Elanor, you are dating Fred." He pieced together.

"He's good." Spark thought to me as I was trying to get us out of there.

"Please, come on, we need to go." I was about ready to grab her arm and run.

"Fine.,. Please take care of my baby." She said with a smile, standing up.

"Take care of my brothers." He kissed our hands and we were gone.

***

I found no humor in the memory; humor that usually came to me with anything that had the word 'Rome' in it. I just looked up at Charlie.

"Come on El." He said softly leading me from the hall. "How did you find this place?" He asked leading me to another doorway.

"I could feel him…Rather…feel his absence."

I felt Charlie nod next to me. He opened a door for me and stopped me before I walked in. "There is going to be a lot of blood. Will you be okay?"

I nodded again. "Believe me; I've no appetite."

He nodded and then gave me a small smile. "Okay." He moved so I could walk in.

I walked in slowly, especially for a vampire. Each movement seemed to be weighed down by some unexplainable force that I have never felt. I didn't even look at the other bodies; I didn't need to. I was being led to where he lay. I felt what was left of my heart shatter even more and felt myself stop breathing, something I rarely did.

There he laid his body already cold, a pale blue about his features. His ginger hair had ash and dust and rubble in it, dust on the tip of his nose, the ghost of a laugh still on his face. There were little stains where someone had laid across his body and cried; probably Molly. I stood in front of him and took in every detail; it was obvious he'd been doing some serious fighting before hand, had been doing some damage. He'd even been laughing or making some kind of a joke when he died. I could see it in his still features.

I walked closer to his head and dropped to my knees softly, everything else around me silent now; every emotion, every thought, every scent, ever sound...I knew nothing other than the man I loved in front of me…and he was gone. He went where I literally could not follow. How easy humans had it; when they lost their loved ones they could reassure themselves that they would join that loved one in death one day; it wasn't so for me, for Spark. When we lost those we loved…that was it. I pushed these thoughts out of my mind as I brushed some of his hair away from his closed eyes. I lifted his head gently and placed it in my lap and just stroked his hair as if he were sleeping, feeling pieces of me disappear for good.

After sitting like that for I couldn't tell you how long, I placed his head gently back on the hard floor and leaned forward and began to sob in the way a vampire does; tearlessly and softly. I gripped his shirt as if gripping it would bring him back to me, noticing now more than ever his lack of heartbeat. "Why?" I asked softly. "Why did you go where I couldn't follow…?" I sobbed, wishing for once that I could actually produce tears. "I love you…" I whispered as I turned my head and looked up at him. "I love you…why did you leave me? I can't do this on my own…Fred…" I could sense someone next to me but I didn't know who it was at first.
Then I felt strong arms around me, pulling me away from him. Even though I could have fought them and clung to him I let myself be drawn into a warm embrace. I sobbed against the chest, leaving no tears. "Why?" I asked my unknown hugger, my unknown comfort. "Why did he leave me? I love him…"

Charlie kissed the side of my head. "I know Elanor. I know. And he loved you…"
He whispered softly. "But it's time to say goodbye…"

I nodded as Charlie rose to his feet. I leaned forward and kissed him softly, half expecting him to jump and say "APRIL FOOL'S!" but of course he didn't. Instead he laid there, no heartbeat, no pulse…just cold and hard and…dead. "I love you Fred." I said one more time before slowly rising to my feet and letting Charlie lead me back to the door.

I stopped before walking through the door, Charlie already waiting for me. I looked back at Fred and whispered "I always will…" before I turned to look out at the huge hall I'd walked through to get to this room. All at once sound began to register again, like someone turned off the mute button. The one sound I was looking for, however, didn't register again, nor would it ever; the heartbeat of the wizard who held my own still heart in his hands.

***

About a week later I was walking up a path that led to the Burrow. I purposely
went the long way around, avoiding the joke shop where I first met Fred. I was dressed in head to toe black and my long golden hair was up in a twisted bun. I closed my mind and my powers off to everyone else. I didn't care if the entire Guard was going to come at us; I didn't want to feel anyone else's pain, didn't want to put up with anything else, no one else. The pain I was feeling was bad enough; whoever thought Vampires couldn't feel bed was smoking or drinking something because I was definitely feeling. Every moment was heavier than normal.

When I saw the tilted house, I lost all control of life in general. I felt my knees buckle and I slowly sank to the ground; only to find strong arms around me. I looked over and noticed a boy about….his….age that I'd seen before.

"It's okay." He whispered softly to me. "You're Elanor, aren't you?"

I looked at him, knowing there was confusion in my eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes. I'm Lee. Lee Jordan." He opened the gate to the garden for me. "I was one of Fred's best mates in school."

I nodded; it was all I could do. I honestly was capable of nothing else. I followed him inside to where George and the other Weasleys were, along with a three other people; a boy with messy jet black hair and emerald eyes and a scar like a lightning bolt on his head, a girl with rather bushy hair but who was rather pretty, and a beautiful girl with long silver hair. I could tell just by the way she held herself that the girl with long silver hair was French.

Molly saw me, but before she could say anything George was right in front of me, panic in his eyes. "Where's Jenny?"

I shrugged. "She's going to be here soon." My voice cracked softly.

Molly looked at me and wrapped me in a hug, ignoring my icy cold skin. "Will you take a walk with me Elanor?" she asked me softly.

I nodded and walked outside with her and a few people trickled outside with us, the close proximity of the Burrow making them feel clustered. The funeral was going to be in a few hours but everything was already set; there was nothing left to get ready. I looked a t Molly and she looked kind of nervous. I tilted my head slightly to ask what was wrong without saying any words; I didn't quite trust myself yet to speak without having my voice crack or something else horrible happen.

Molly took my hand and led me toward a tree; it was the tree Fred was going to be buried near. "I'm sorry about all of this Elanor. I know it must be hard for you. George said that you and Fred were supposed to go on a date later that night and had left his clothes out and George wasn't just ready to clean the house or tidy his stuff so I went out. When I was picking up his pants to hang up, this fell out of his pants pocket. I wasn't trying to snoop, please understand that. I just got curious and it was already out." She paused and looked at me seriously and I couldn't help but realize she was just stuttering around not really sure what to say. She paused then sighed lightly.

"The point is I found this and I know this is for you." She took my hand again and put a box in it. "I know he would have wanted you to have it. And despite the tragic outcome fact that you never got to be one officially, I will always consider you a daughter slowly. I watched her walk away and back inside before I looked at the others through the window. With a soft sigh I looked back down to the box, something in my heart already telling me what it was. I shook my head, tears almost forming in my eyes.

With a deep breath I opened the box, my hands shaking as they slowly lifted the lid. When I saw what was inside, I screamed and fell to the ground, no longer able to control myself. The ring Fred was going to ask for my hand in marriage with was inside the box and the box was clutched to my still heart.

***

I walked into the house with her, Fred's would-have-been fiancée. I had to admit she was very pretty but there was something about her that made me want to shy away from her; as if my subconscious was warning me that she was dangerous. I watched as George, my other mate, walked up to her looking panicked. He rushed past me after Elanor shrugged. I stood there, not quite sure what to say. So I followed George.

"Oy! George!" I called out, running to catch up with him. "What's the rush?"

He looked at me. "Lee. Dude; after everything that's happened… you really just asked me that?"

I looked at him and offered a shrug. "Never been in love."

George nodded. "Just wait." He paused. "I can't be without her Lee, you've no idea. I'm asking her to marry me; soon. I'm just waiting for the right…" he paused and stopped cold.

I spun and looked in the direction, my hand already going to my wand, thinking he saw a Death Eater. Then I saw her. She was as beautiful as Elanor, but different. Before I knew it, George was leaving my side. He ran to meet her, though he only went a few strides before she was in his arms. I watched as he buried his head into her neck and nuzzled against her and took in a deep breath; it was as if he were a drug addict she was his heroin.

Even though I wasn't listening, or trying to anyway, I heard him whisper "I was worried when you didn't come with Elanor…I thought something happened."

Spark nuzzled closer to him. It almost looked as if she wasn't breathing. I pushed that possibility from my mind. "I was trying to give her space so I wouldn't feel her emotions. She's dying inside. She's a complete and total wreck. It makes me worry about you all the more." She said softly, touching his cheek, oblivious to me standing there.

I felt my face flush at the tenderness of the moment, feeling like I was intruding.

As if she could tell what I was thinking, Spark pulled away from George and looked at me, keeping a hand on him at all times. It was like she believed if she stopped touching him or lost contact with him that he would disappear.

George smiled softly. "Jenny, this is an old school mate of mine, Lee Jordan. Lee this is my Spark."

I held out a hand to Spark but she didn't shake it. Instead she nodded. There was that quality about her that I'd spotted in Elanor; the one that made me want to take an involuntary step back despite their unparalleled beauty. I cleared my throat. "It's a pleasure to finally meet…" but I was cut off by a scream.

The scream was like one I'd never heard; it was filled with torment, sounded as if someone were having their heart pulled agonizingly slowly out of their chest without any form of medicine or pain killer. I ran toward it, only to see Elanor on the ground, a box clutched to her chest. I went to run to her, but someone grabbed my wrist. Her grip surprised me; it was strong and cold. I felt myself shudder involuntarily and she withdrew her grip.

"Wait."

I looked at her in confusion. I could see the longing in her eyes to go wrap her arms around Elanor and cradle her like a mother would a baby who's just been injured. I turned my head to follow her line of vision.

Charlie, the second oldest of the Weasley children, was kneeling next to Elanor, cradling her. I watched as she beat against his chest, and at one point he grimaced slightly, as if she'd broken a rib or something; but that was impossible…wasn't it?

The thing that got me was not a single tear rolled down her cheek. Most people would have red puffy eyes and tear stains; Elanor was almost gasping for air and just gave off this horribly depressing atmosphere. I watched as Charlie stroked her hair softly and rubbed her back and whispered soft words to her.

As I watched her, I realized it was a good thing I was no mind reader; I really didn't want to know what was going on in poor Elanor's mind.

***

The funeral went off smoothly. The preacher was the same short man that did Dumbledore's funeral. There were lilies everywhere and there was a group that played music. I couldn't help but glance over at Elanor every now and then, wondering how she was. As Fred's best mate, he'd told me a lot about this girl. But he'd never told me how in love with him she seemed to be. In fact, he'd told me that she didn't seem as willing to have a long-lasting relationship as he did. But watching her break down throughout the entire funeral was harder than actually realizing my best mate was dead. I think she brought me closer to tears than the preacher.

After the short man said the final words, it was time for people to get up and depart or go up and pay respect to the closed casket. I looked over at George who was wiping his eyes on his dress robe sleeve. Spark had her head rested against his other shoulder and she just looked thoroughly depressed. I looked over at Bill and Fleur. Fleur, of course, almost looked like she was just putting on a show. Bill was in tears, though it was obvious he was trying not to cry. Percy, who'd just recently come back, was sniffling and taking off his glasses every few minutes to clean them and hide the tears in the process. Ginny and Hermione were both leaning on Harry and Ron absolutely bawling, while both Harry and Ron both sat stone-faced, Ron looked pissed, and Harry looking worn and older than his years. I dared not look and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley.

Then I glanced at Elanor. Charlie was holding him to her again and she just stared blankly at Fred's coffin. This time there were no tearless sobs; just the blankest most despairing look I've ever seen. Then she stood up slowly and she walked forward, leaving Charlie in his seat where he promptly wiped his eyes.

***

'He's dead.' That's all I could think. 'He's dead. He wanted to marry me. He's dead. He bought this ring. He's dead. He got the ring from my era. He's dead.' As I was supported by Charlie throughout the entire funeral itself, I clutched the ring Fred was going to give me to my non-beating heart. Each word the preacher said brought me further into despair, made me feel more distant from the world. It was like each word widened the gap between me and those I've been with all my vampire life; even Spark. I couldn't do anything other than look at the coffin; look at where he lay.

When the short man who widened the gap with his words, I never bothered to learn his name, finally stopped talking and most people left, I stayed there. I continued to look at the coffin until slowly I rose to my feet. I could tell that boy from earlier, Lee I think his name was, was watching me; I could tell they all were. I walked forward slowly until I was right in front of the coffin. I closed my eyes and slowly draped myself over his coffin, as if I was going to lay across his chest like I had once or twice before. I stayed there like that for what felt like eternity; until I felt a strong, hot hand touch my shoulder softly. I turned and let Charlie lead me back to the others.

Spark reached out and took my hand in hers, George's arm wrapped around her waist. I leaned back against Charlie's chest as Spark gave my hand a gentle squeeze. Molly was wiping her eyes as she sniffled.

Spark spoke softly. "That was a beautiful service Molly."

"Thank you Spark. That means a lot." She glanced in my direction. I knew she felt guilty about giving me the ring, thinking that perhaps it was the wrong thing to do.

I looked at her. "He…" I paused and took a shaky breath; despite its lack of necessity in my life, it felt like the right thing to do. "…he would have liked it." I said softly.

Molly offered me a small smile.

Charlie looked over at Spark then hit his forehead. "Oh Spark I forgot to tell you. I brought you something…"

Molly looked just over my head toward the house. She shrieked loudly, causing me to wince. I didn't look though; something told me that I knew what it was. She turned to Charlie and hit him. "YOU BROUGHT HER A BLOODY DRAGON?!? MY HOUSE! LOOK AT MY GARDEN!"

Everyone around us tried not to laugh as a dragon peaked its head around the house and looked at us curiously.

Spark yelled happily. "NEFLEND!" she wriggled out of George's arms and hugged the dragon who almost seemed to nuzzle her back. She looked at Charlie. "Oh Charlie you're the best." Spark let go of Neflend then hugged Charlie tightly. Then she looked at me with wide sparkling eyes. "El let's go. You need a good old fashion dragon ride." She was already almost on Neflend before she was done talking.

I shook my head. "No Spark. I've a different plan. Maybe after. Okay?"

Spark nodded, but I could see she was disappointed. Oh well, I didn't have it in me to care right now. I knew I'd feel horrible about it later but at that point in time I didn't care.

Instead I looked at Molly. "Would it be okay if I used your shower?"

She looked at me as if she were surprised at my request. Then she nodded. "Be my guest." She offered me a small smile.

***

"George." Spark said, resting her head on her love's shoulder as they began to walk hand in hand after she'd played around with Neflend. "I'm worried about Elanor. I've never seen her like this…"

George nodded next to her, though his mind wasn't really on Elanor. It was on the beauty that was leaning on him. He kissed the top of her hair softly. "We all are…"

Spark shook her head. "No you don't feel her pain. It literally feels as if someone's ripped her in half. It's horrible." She shuddered. "What makes it worse is that I know she's trying to stop herself from emitting and spreading to everyone else. And I've got a block up to hide her emotions, a strong block, and she's going right through it. I can't even imagine the full pain she's feeling."

"It makes me fear that I'm going to lose you one day Jenny."

Spark stopped walking, so George did as well. He looked at her curiously. "Just hear me out Jenny. Please."

Spark nodded.

George took a deep breath. "Jenny, I was sitting at home the night Fred died…and was thinking about life in general when it hit me."

Spark looked at George curiously. "What hit you?"

"It hit me like a tsunami then: how perfect you are for me, how no one else will ever, can ever be so perfect for me, how you are everything I could possibly hope for, as a friend, a girlfriend -- maybe even more. You're it for me. There's no more looking. I really, really, love you, with a whole new kind of love that I've never felt before, something that makes every other kind of love seem washed out and wimpy in comparison. I love you with every cell in my body, every thought in my head, every breath in my lungs and every joke on my mind. Jenny, I can't be without you." George slowly bent down onto one knee. "Jenny, will you marry me?" he pulled out a velvet box and opened it slowly.

Spark looked at him. She looked at the ring; it was perfect. The speech was perfect. Every single thing, except for it having been a funeral, was absolutely perfect. And yet…Spark shook her head slowly. "No…I…." She paused. "Marrying you means changing you. I can't do that George….I can't do that…" Spark slowly started taking a few steps backwards. "I can't do that…" she whispered again before turning and taking off into the distance.

***

"Thank you. I'll be back later." I walked into the house, but not before hearing Molly whisper to Arthur, "I didn't think Vampires took showers…"

And in part she was right. Most don't. I, on the other hand, am weird and I love the feel and the sound of water falling. Besides that, I had a tradition for when I lost someone I loved; and truly I loved Fred. I turned the water on as high as it would go, then I took off all my clothes. I set them in a neat pile then got into the shower. After letting the hot water run over me for a little, I reached out of the shower and reached into my purse, pulling out a canister of mango fruit pedicure foot scrub from the purse I carried in with me for pretense purposes. I brought it into the shower with me and then washed down one of the walls with hot water. Then I opened the container and wrote; R. I. P. Fred Weasley

As I began to wipe away the mango scrub I began saying softly;

"From this wall, I wipe away, the name I love, and this I pray. I pray that you, almighty God, treat him well, with both staff and rod. Though from this earth, you disappear, I will always wait, for you my dear. Into death, you sadly go, your whereabouts now, no soul shall know. Flesh and bones, blood and cells, your laugh no longer, shall ring like bells. Miss you always, this I know, for into death, I cannot go. So rests ye well, my darling Fred, for truly you, are wholly dead."

With each line I said, I wiped away more of his name. When I was done I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself. After I changed into clean black clothing. But as I walked out of the bathroom door, Charlie was waiting there for me. "Elanor…it's time to read Fred's will."