HAVEN: HOLLY SHORT'S RESIDENCE

Holly Short frowned as she looked at the bill on her lap. She shook her head. The rate I'm going, she thought, I won't have money left for groceries.

Why wasn't Artemis answering? If something had happened…no, she would have heard by now. Foaly was still keeping tabs on the teenager, even though he had promised he wouldn't. The past incidents with Artemis had definitely kept the centaur on edge. If something had happened to Artemis, Foaly would have alerted Holly at once.

Holly looked down at the bill on her lap again. It was a hefty sum in the bolded black letters at the bottom of the page. It was already up to half a week's income.

It's not that important, she thought. I don't think I should waste my money just so I can talk to him. It isn't worth it. If it was an emergency it would be different. But it isn't; I guess I'm just getting bored.

Holly flung the communications bill on her coffee table with a huff. The entire situation was stupid. And it was getting stupider.

The captain sunk into her cozy recliner. Something bored into her back. She pulled it out from behind her. My communicator.

She cast another glance at the discarded bill on the table, then back at the device in her hands.

She flipped the cover open with a flourish, reminding herself of Captain Kirk on Star Trek.

Aw, why not?

FOWL MANOR

Artemis Fowl, meanwhile, was taking a look at his own communicator. Unlike Holly's, his was not the same shape or size as a normal communicator. He had painstakingly transferred the software into a rather noticeable ring, which he was now throwing back and forth between his long-fingered hands.

Bored again, he realized. Maybe I should catch a flight to Zimbabwe before I completely fall off my rocker.

I need somebody to talk to, he thought.

Butler…no. He would think it very strange if I were to suddenly engage in casual conversation. Juliet? No again; most likely in the Octagon with sweaty and infuriated men twice her size. She's much too busy.

Then it hit him. I don't want to talk to humans. I want to talk to…people. The People.

He smacked himself lightly on the forehead. A strange gesture; something he would normally not do to anyone, let alone himself.

"You're letting yourself go, Artemis," he muttered to himself.

Great. Now I'm talking to myself. Maybe I'm literally going insane.

He pushed down on a small ruby on the face of his ring, which would automatically ring him in to the person he wished to contact most; Holly Short, LEP captain.

He pressed down on the inconspicuous ruby, waiting for the captain to answer on the second or third ring. But there was not a single beep to be heard.

Artemis began to do a quick diagnostic of the ring. He disassembled it with delicate fingers, trying to find what was wrong. It should be working, he thought. I keep it in pristine shape.

Aw…the batteries. They must be dead.

Artemis pressed a number into his cell phone. Butler answered on the first ring.

"Butler," he called.

"Yes, Master Artemis."

"Butler, could you please get me the energy source to the last LEP communicator in the vault? It should be completely charged."

Butler did not reply, but Artemis could imagine him nodding. The line went dead.

A few moments later, Butler came in with the tiny pulsating red energy source. His hands were covered in a slimy grey substance, and he held the battery up with a pair of tweezers.

"Here," he said unceremoniously. He handed the tweezers to Artemis, who gently set them on the table.

"Thank you," the boy said.

"Oh, Butler?" Artemis said before Butler had shut the door.

"Yes?"

"How are you passing the time?"

Butler seemed slightly taken aback. "Passing the time?"

Artemis nodded. "In other words, why are your hands covered in clay?"

Butler grinned. "You're not the only one getting bored out of his wits. If you must know, I've started doing some pottery."

"Pottery?" Artemis spluttered.

"Like I said," Butler repeated. "You're not the only person in this house that needs something to do. Now if you don't mind, I need to go back and bake my urn. Excuse me."

Butler went out and closed the door, careful not to get any clay on the doorknob, and Artemis was left flabbergasted.

"Pottery…who would've thought?"

TWENTY MINUTES LATER

Finally, success. Holly had finally been able to patch through.

Artemis sounded mildly surprised to hear Holly's voice. He could hear her talking as soon as he had replaced the energy supply, and it was apparent that this was not her first time attempting to contact him.

Holly had opened the conversation with something about gold and groceries, and they had been talking for fifteen minutes straight since then.

Artemis found himself laughing more often than not. Nothing Holly had to say was either extremely clever or indeed funny at all. It was more the idea that he was no longer utterly bored that accounted for his giddiness that the actual conversation.

The conversation continued for approximately thirty more minutes, and by that time both had run out of topics of conversation. Artemis considered striking up a discussion about quantum physics but thought better of it; he doubted Holly would appreciate that very much. In all honesty, he doubted that anybody in his immediate acquaintance, except perhaps Foaly, would appreciate a discussion like that.

"It's been nice to hear from you, Artemis. I've spent a lot of gold on this, you know. You'd better be grateful."

"I am," Artemis replied. "I've needed somebody to talk to for a long time. Thank you."

"You betcha," Holly replied, and Artemis imagined her giving a wink that nobody would see.

"I'll be in contact again," Artemis said.

"I'll be waiting," Holly said.

Artemis smiled. "Fowl Manor, out."

"You sound awfully official," Holly teased. "Haven, out."

"Bye," Artemis added, but Holly's transmission had already cut out.