OK, I am so sorry for not updating for so long, I kinda forgot with the mess my life has been lately, so sorry. We just found out that my aunt has grade 3 brain cancer, and my best friends mum just died from a mix of cancers, so, yeah, ummm... Anywhos, you all know I don't own Twilight, if I did I would be a better writer and have more than $10 at any given time.

Edward POV

Carlisle was looking decidedly devious, contemplating my punishment. I gulped nervously and hoped that he wouldn't notice. Damn it! Why wouldn't he just telling me what my punishment was already!

I resisted the urge to fiddle nervously, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing me squirm. Should I go along with the punishment or not? Hopefully it wasn't one that I couldn't just ignore.

He started speaking in a slow and calculating but almost gleeful voice. "You are going to be bunking in my room from now on, and either Bella, myself, Esme or someone we appoint is going to be with you at all times, except for when you are in class at school, but Bella will escort you to and from your classes. This will be in effect until I see an improvement in you sufficient enough for me to warrant removing these restrictions. Do you have any questions?" He smirked, as if he knew that he had given me one of the worst punishments possible. I just glared at him and stalked off, pulling my dressing gown on as I left.

Damn him to hell. At least I might be able to convince Bella to let me be supervised by Jasper occasionally. It would be so much fun seeing Carlisle's face at my next 'check-up' when he saw that I had still managed to cut myself even with all his precautions. Jasper would let me cut myself, he had before, so he wasn't about to stop now, right?

The next day...

School was boring, as usual, except now I actually had to stay there the whole day, instead of skipping half of it like I usually do. Oh well, thank God for iPods. After school I managed to convince Bella to let me go over to Jasper's to 'study', having asked him earlier that day.

Once we got to Jasper's house we secreted ourselves away in his room, we both did our homework for about an hour, before I put mine down and went off to the bathroom, grabbing my school bag as I went. Jasper didn't seem to notice, at first, but after about eight minutes with twice that many cuts (who knew when I would get my next opportunity?) he came knocking.

"Edward, are you alright in there?"

"Yeah, one sec," I replied grabbing my stuff and vacating the bathroom, neglecting to put a shirt on just yet, it would only get bloody.

I got a disapproving look for my latest efforts, along with a stern "hand over your blades" from Jasper.

Glaring, I did as he ordered, though very reluctantly.

"Is this all you have, you don't have any more at home?"

"That's all of them," I replied, truthfully.

"I can't let you keep doing this Edward, you need to stop. You're killing yourself slowly, can't you see that?"

"Have you considered that maybe I want to die?"

"You may feel like that now, but how about later on, when this has all passed, or on one of your better days, do you really want to die, and leave behind any chance of having a good life, of actually living? Or do you want to waste away. You don't eat, you either get too much or not enough sleep, you cut yourself to ribbons... I don't think you have a limb left that doesn't have at least one scar on it by now. There is nothing saying you have to go on like this, no one would think any less of you if you wanted to stop, or said you needed help and actually accepted help."

"Maybe I don't want to get better, I just want to die! Just because I haven't tried in the past week doesn't mean I suddenly don't want to anymore! Why can't you just all accept that! Even if you must stop me from killing myself, you all could still let me cut myself, it's not as though it is such a big deal, I would get exactly the same thing if I fell over or something! Why can't you just leave me alone! I don't want to stop, why can't you accept that?"

"It's not so much how you get the cuts, it's more of the principle behind it, and people would fuss over you if you got a cut like some of the ones you are inflicting upon yourself. I know what it is like to do something like this. I know, remember. And I am also living proof that if you try hard enough, even if at first you don't want to, you can get over this addiction."

"It's not an addiction. I could stop anytime I wanted to."

"Yes, it is, Edward. Just think about what I said, OK."

That night, lying awake in my bed, I did, reluctantly think about it...

Not very long, not very good, but at least I got it out. Let me know what you think?? Please?? Going off to kill myself slowly now...