The indigo sky gently glimmered with Silverpelt. The stars shone coldly, sightlessly, knowing...
How could StarClan be so cruel?
He never thought he'd have to endure something like this.
He had foolishly thought that, after the death of Hawkfrost and his enstrangement with his malicious father, nothing horrible or traumatic would happen again. He was the loyal, powerful deputy of ThunderClan, and he had Squirrelflight, the gorgeous ginger she-cat, as his mate.
And best of all, Brambleclaw had three brave kits.
At least, he thought they were his.
His hooked claws slid out of their sheathes and scored the misty earth below -- if only he could scratch away the pain, the horror.
Brambleclaw shut his eyes tight, but this action didn't stop his mind from reeling with buzzing, angry thoughts. The awful scene from last night's Gathering scrolled through the blackness brightly, over and over. There was Hollyleaf, her beautiful black fur glimmering with silver strands in the moon's light, her green eyes flashing with defiance and... such bitterness.
She was the one who revealed the truth to all Clans.
New thorns embedded themselves deep into Brambleclaw's heart, biting and tearing viciously. Shock and disbelief still fluffed out Brambleclaw's tabby pelt.
They weren't his. Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze weren't his kits, for StarClan's sake! This... This meant Squirrelflight lied to him! Didn't she trust him?
Despite his fury and sense of betrayal, Brambleclaw couldn't forget the anguish in Squirrelflight's emerald eyes when she pleaded with him not to turn away. But he told her, "It's too late now," and... he did turn away. A fresh wave of guilt crashed over the tabby tom, but he refused to go back to the ThunderClan camp at that moment -- he knew he'd have to face her. And he didn't want to.
He could just hear Tigerstar: "I told you she was a waste..."
StarClan, he should've known! His mate had been acting oddly for quite some time, and he never even asked her what was going on. His kits -- no, they weren't his -- had become frosty and distant. And Leafpool had been in such a state of disarray; she hid it well, but every time he came close to her he could smell her fear, could hear the grating agony behind every breath she took. Why was he so mousebrained?
The cats that were supposed to be his children, were actually the mistake Leafpool and Crowfeather had created.
Before Brambleclaw had killed his own half-brother Hawkfrost, the ThunderClan medicine cat had run away to be with the WindClan warrior Crowfeather. Only when the badgers attacked Thunderclan did the forbidden lovers return, just to part ways when Cinderpelt, Leafpool's mentor, had been killed.
Always had Brambleclaw silently sympathized with the ill-fated pair. He cared for Leafpool, mainly because she was Squirrelflight's sister. As for Crowfeather, he and Brambleclaw were both cats who had journeyed to the sun-drown-place a long time ago in order to save their Clans from destruction. Crowfeather had always been a difficult one to deal with, but in the end, he and Brambleclaw had become friends. However, after Feathertail's death and the Clans went back to their own ways, that friendship had faded. It didn't mean Brambleclaw cared for the WindClan warrior any less.
But right now, he just felt so sick, knowing at last that those two were the actual parents. He felt so betrayed. All he wanted to do was curl up and sleep forever, get away from all his duties to ThunderClan, get away from the she-cat who had lied to him for moons, get away from the grown kits that weren't his... He wanted to get away from the thick cobweb of fallacy and madness.
Brambleclaw blinked open his amber eyes slowly, and gazed down at the stream bordering WindClan. The water chuckled along, snaking through the land endlessly. Above the tabby deputy, the sky was paling into a milky sea, with the StarClan warriors dotting the surface beginning to fade completely, as the golden sun yawned up over the horizon.
He sat rigidly, with his brown striped tabby curled tightly around his paws. Brambleclaw sighed a broken sigh. He had had plenty of time to grieve and feel sorry for himself since the Gathering; now he had to pull himself back together and head to camp. He still had his duties to perform. Besides, a WindClan patrol could come along at any time now.
His muscles stiff, Brambleclaw got to his paws and stretched numbly, not feeling the cold that seeped beneath the roots of his fur. He turned -- and abruptly halted, startled.
"Sorreltail?" he called hesitantly. He could've sworn he saw a familiar glimpse of tortoiseshell fur whisk behind a tree just ahead.
A few heartbeats of silence passed by before another flash of a dappled pelt bounded from behind that tree into the shadows of the forest.
Brambleclaw stood stock-still, unsure of what to do. Had his old friend Sorreltail actually been spying on him? No, it couldn't be... and it couldn't be Tawnypelt either; she was in ShadowClan.
He was beginning to think it was just his imagination -- after all, he was unknowingly shaking with exhaustion and hunger, and torn from everything that had taken place just the night before -- when a voice whispered with the breeze flowing: "Follow me, brave one..."
Stupefied, Brambleclaw obliged, his head spinning. He hurtled into the trees. His huge paws pounded on the hard earth as the tom raced through the forest, stumbling over gnarly tree roots and nearly crashing into brambles and ferns along the way.
He almost stopped, realizing the mysterious cat -- who may or may not even exist -- had disappeared, but he was shocked to see a transparent tortoiseshell form just ahead. Its fur glittered with starlight. A StarClan warrior? The figure did not stop; instead, it ran, continuing to lead a confused Brambleclaw to wherever.
Gradually Brambleclaw connected the pieces as he ensued the strange cat. They were heading right for the old abandoned Twoleg nest! But why?
The StarClan cat slowed down, and Brambleclaw, taking a heartbeat or two to get this into his head, did the same. Finally the stranger stopped, just beyond the patch of territory in which the Twoleg nest was.
Quickening his pace, Brambleclaw caught up to the warrior. "Who are you? Why have you led me here?" he demanded. He was fatigued and distraught, but that didn't make him any less commanding in this situation.
The cat turned its head towards him. Brambleclaw realized "it" was actually a very beautiful she-cat, who smelled of air and stars and... Thunderclan!
"Peace," she soothed, resting her tail-tip on the bristling tabby's shoulder. "My name is Spottedleaf. I was the former Thunderclan medicine cat; I died just before you were born."
Spottedleaf? She was the cat whom Firestar had fallen in love with when he had arrived as a kittypet many seasons back. "Oh..." Brambleclaw replied dumbly.
Spottedleaf paused, her twinkling amber eyes kind and sad. "Before I tell you why I've brought you here, I wish to ask you... Brambleclaw, do you know we're related?"
Brambleclaw reeled back, shocked. "What?" he stammered. That new piece of information just about made his mind implode.
"Tigerstar and I were -- are -- distant cousins," Spottedleaf explained. "But there's no time to discuss this. Brambleclaw, I apologize for everything that's happened."
The deputy fell silent, narrowing his eyes. "Did you know about all this?" he hissed.
"No..." The tortoiseshell shook her head. "Not everything. StarClan does not know all." Her amber eyes shone with sorrow. "I must go." As her figure began to disappear, Spottedleaf added, "Go into the Twoleg nest. Goodbye, brave warrior."
Trembling, Brambleclaw immediately forgot about him and the former medicine cat being linked, and wondered, Why does she want me to go in there?
He knew there couldn't be any harm, as he couldn't scent anything off, and Spottedleaf seemed far from the type to send a cat into danger. But why...?
Curious, but wary, Brambleclaw padded over the brittle ground. He stopped for a moment, gazing at the area where catmint grew during newleaf. A fresh claw of agony sliced through him as he remembered that Squirrelflight had been the one to first discover the much-needed catmint when the Clans came to the lake.
Shaking his head furiously, Brambleclaw forced himself to go on. Trying not to let the ominous nest get to him, he stepped through the doorway, taking in the musty smells and the shadowed interior. He hated being near this place. It was falling apart, and gave an eerie feeling to all who came near.
His nose twitched as a new scent came to him.
No, it wasn't new... It was Thunderclan... Brambleclaw blinked hard, finally noticing a bulk huddled near the stone steps that led up to the second floor. "Who's there?" he inquired, his tone softer. Too bad he didn't realize just who the ThunderClan cat was before they spoke up.
"It's me, Leafpool."
The hairs on the back of Brambleclaw's neck rose. "Leafpool?" He tried not to sound accusing, but knew the medicine cat could hear the anger and dismay thinly masked in his voice. "What are you doing here?"
"Didn't you go back to camp?" The she-cat moved, cautiously moving towards him for a few paces. Her own voice was quivering with raw agony. "You know I can no longer be ThunderClan's medicine cat."
"It's just as well," Brambleclaw retorted.
If Leafpool flinced, Brambleclaw didn't see it. "I've left ThunderClan, but I couldn't leave the forest without speaking to you. Spottedleaf told me she would find you and bring you here."
"She did," the tabby replied curtly. "And I don't fancy hearing what you have to say."
"Brambleclaw, please--"
"No!" Brambleclaw hissed. "Look at the trouble you've caused. Leave. At least you know Jayfeather is taking good care of ThunderClan. Goodbye." Ignoring the pang at mentioning his supposed son's name, the deputy turned his back and took a pawstep forward to get out of the Twoleg nest.
"Brambleclaw, you piece of fox-dung, get back here!"
The sharp yowl brought Brambleclaw whirling around in surprise and even more fury. "Why?" he yowled, his long claws scratching desperately at the stone floor beneath him. "Why should I?" He knew he was acting like an apprentice, but he didn't give a mousetail.
"Because you love my sister," Leafpool said quietly, shutting Brambleclaw up instantly. The medicine cat -- no, former medicine cat -- moved forward until she stood just a fox-length away from the stricken ThunderClan deputy. "Because I care about you, and I care about her. Even if you've cut all ties with me, I still think of you as family. You're my brother." Her voice cracked, and yet another thorn stabbed Brambleclaw.
All anger faded away, leaving Brambleclaw with his tail drooping and his head hanging in exhaustion. "Leafpool, I know we've had a rocky relationship, but I love you as my sister, and yes, I love Squirrelflight," he confessed wearily. "But I don't understand... I just..."
Brambleclaw didn't normally reveal himself like this: a tired warrior with a broken heart. And he had never told Leafpool he loved her. They had always been distant.
He was supposed to be strong, not weak. He was supposed to be courageous, not afraid. He was supposed to be commanding, with his head held high, but for this one time he couldn't be that powerful deputy every cat respected and looked up to.
Leafpool slowly edged forward, finally coming to the point where she could press her light tabby flank against Brambleclaw's. Together they stood there, wavering with grief and trying to lend each other what strength they had.
Finally the she-cat spoke, "It's all my fault, Brambleclaw. Squirrelflight wanted to tell you all this time, but I begged her not to; I didn't want any other cat knowing what I had done. The lie shattered her. It's not her fault. Please don't blame her. Don't leave her."
Brambleclaw moved like a slug as he sat down; Leafpool followed suit. "I... really thought your kits were ours... Squirrelflight seemed to be carrying... Everyone thought she was pregnant..."
There was a pause. "She was."
Snapping his head up, Brambleclaw stared in shock at Leafpool, who avoided his penetrating gaze. "What?!"
"We predicted that we'd give birth around the same time... Squirrelflight told me we can help each other through this, and that she would take in my kits as well as hers... She gave birth that morning, just after we left camp." Leafpool trailed off.
Horrified, Brambleclaw wasn't sure he wanted to confirm what the she-cat seemed to be saying. "Are you... You mean..."
"There was one kit, a tom... He... was stillborn."
Brambleclaw crouched at the painful blow. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words would come out.
"Squirrelflight was devastated... But she was so brave; she was there to comfort and aid me when my turn came," Leafpool went on, sounding utterly choked.
"I had no idea..." Brambleclaw murmured softly.
"Please, Brambleclaw, you don't have to forgive me. I just wish for you to understand and forgive what Squirrelflight's done. It's not her fault; it's mine," she added fiercely. "She's endured so much in helping me with my selfishness."
Unable to take it, Brambleclaw lowered his head to his paws as he stared blankly into the darkness of the Twoleg nest. Guilt came back and smacked him harder than ever as he replayed his confrontation with Squirrelflight in his mind. He still wished his mate had confided in him, more than anything, but now he thought, Maybe Leafpool's right...
Could they repair their relationship? It wasn't just tottering on the edge of a cliff. It had fallen over, but Leafpool had suddenly hooked onto it with her claws; now she was the one stumbling on the edge, trying to pull the mates back together.
Instantly Brambleclaw noticed the warmth pressed to his side disappearing as Leafpool moved.
Getting up, his paws cold and stiff again, Brambleclaw hastily followed Leafpool as the pale tabby headed out into the open, her head down. "Hold on..."
The trees looming ahead were crowned in the shimmering yellow light of the sun, telling Brambleclaw he should've been at camp long ago and that cats were probably wondering where he was. Indeed he'd go appease them soon, but not just yet.
Picking up the pace, Brambleclaw dodged around Leafpool to block her path. Summoning up the strength to speak clearly and unwaveringly, he stared her in the eyes. "Thank you."
"For what? What have I done?" Leafpool muttered, looking back down. She was defeated.
Determined now, Brambleclaw snaked his tail underneath Leafpool's chin and brought her face close to his so that they'd meet eye-to-eye. "I understand now. I understand why Squirrelflight did what she did, and I understand that you couldn't have anyone else know about your secret."
"Well, it's no longer secret, correct?" The tabby she-cat didn't move away, instead boldly gazing back.
Brambleclaw's belly clenched as he examined the amber eyes that looked almost exactly like his. They were dull with unending anguish and loss. "I think I understand what it's like to lose your kits, as well," he added softly. "Leafpool, I don't blame you. There's nothing to forgive. It's not your fault for falling in love. There's no way you can control what your heart does. And look. Jayfeather, Hollyleaf, and Lionblaze are wonderful. I'm glad they exist."
He could see Leafpool was on the edge of breaking down, yet there was a faint light of peace in her eyes now. "I don't regret having them," she whispered. "I only wish Crowfeather felt the same."
Brambleclaw hesitated, remembering Crowfeather's hostility at the Gathering. The WindClan warrior had coldly disowned his three ThunderClan children, and had announced he didn't care for Leafpool either. Burning anger swept through Brambleclaw, but he knew there was nothing he could do.
"Don't believe everything he says," he advised. "I get the feeling he still loves you, and he's proud of his kits."
Leafpool sighed. "You're too good to me, Brambleclaw." Gently she pressed her nose to his. "Watch over them, and Squirrelflight, too."
"I promise," the tabby deputy said sincerely, giving Leafpool a swift lick on the head. Regret rooted his paws to the ground. "Take care."
For a moment they just looked at each other, silently saying things they didn't reveal out loud.
Leafpool had lost everything. Crowfeather, her kits, her Clan, her duty as a medicine cat... But the grateful hope on her face revealed that Brambleclaw had given her some peace.
Brambleclaw was always going to look at those kits and remember the truth. And it was always going to hurt. His relationship with them probably deteriorated a long time ago. But with Squirrelflight, maybe there was a second chance.
So, for a moment, Brambleclaw and Leafpool silently connected through their grief and shattered faith.
This time, they were truly friends, brother and sister.
After a while Leafpool turned towards the lake beyond the trees. "Goodbye," she murmured over her shoulder.
"Goodbye," Brambleclaw said in a barely audible tone. He watched with a pang as the former medicine she-cat padded away. He stayed there for a while even after Leafpool disappeared from sight.
"StarClan light your path." Looking up, Brambleclaw gazed at the sky, wondering if StarClan were watching over Leafpool. "Don't abandon her. Take care of her."
It was time to head back to camp.
A new day had started. That web of lies had been tossed away, and it was time for the fresh new wounds to begin healing.
Brambleclaw had no idea what he was going to find out as soon he stepped into the ThunderClan camp.
A gaping hole was waiting to wedge into his heart once more.
Hollyleaf was gone, crushed in the tunnels.
Some things had already been mended, but the horror and bloodshed weren't over.