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You rock!
Spoilers to Mystery Spot…
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Epilogue
I blinked tiredly. It was still dark, but I thought I've heard something…
When I sat up and turned around I felt like I was gonna get a hear attack. The bed by my side was empty. Sammy. I thought desperately. Not again… please… not again….
It has been a week since Lucifer was set free… one week of silence. It was like the last breath before the storm. It was scary. Sam and I were travelling around the country, looking out for any supernatural event. Nothing had happened.
"Sammy?" I asked quietly. Me and my little brother haven't parted for a second since we had left Bobby's, always in the same house. And right now he was gone.
"Sam" This time a little more urgently. "Damn you… where are you?" I got up. I swore that I wouldn't let him alone anymore. Not that I was scared that he would betray me… but I was damned scared that he would leave me to 'save' me.
I switched on the lights, heading over to the bathroom. "Sammy? Are you in there?" Knocking I waited for an answer I wouldn't get. I had a feeling that Sam was okay for the last week, since we talked about everything at Bobby's. I haven't expected him to simple run away… not for a reason.
"Aww… man… why are ya awake?" Suddenly Sam's voice appeared in the entrance. I turned around to get into his face for scaring me like that, but the little shit was smiling brightly, nearly happily.
"Well I'm awake…Where have you been?" I glared at him, when I saw that he was dragging a bag in one hand and something else in his other. "What's that?" I snarled.
"Are you angry with me?" Sam asked and immediately I felt bad for being so rough. The boy had an inner fear that he could disappoint me again… I huffed.
"No… I'm not angry." I ignored the puppy dog look on his face… okay I couldn't ignore it. "Where have you been?"
Seeing that I was okay with him, he smiled again. "Happy re-birthday, bro." He handed me the bag and the in paper-wrapped-something.
"Re-birthday?" I asked.
"Well… today… it's been a year since you've risen from… uhm… I though we could celebrate." He looked at me with hopeful eyes. I managed to smile at him, the same smile I always used for him these days… like in better days. He really still tried to make everything up, not understanding that I forgave him already.
I unwrapped the thing in the paper and the delicious smell of two slices of pie greeted me. Immediately I felt a real and honest smile playing around my lips. "Thanks Sammy" I looked up, meeting his eyes.
Fetching two forks I set the pie down at the table, handing one fork to Sam who bit his lip sheepishly.
Sam watched me eat; I could feel his eyes linger on me, while he just took a few bites of his slice, after preparing some coffee for me. He hadn't eaten too much since Lucifer was out. Well… to be perfectly honest I didn't know how much he had eaten before.
In moments like this I wanted to kill Ruby again for messing with Sam like that.
"Look at this." He pushed the bag gently into my direction. I took it, glancing at my little brother, who had his forehead palmed in one of his hand, supporting his head, while watching me carefully.
When I opened the bag I could already see that books where in there. What the… I thought, when I fished out one of them.
Supernatural-The kids are alright. Read the bold letters on the cover. I looked at him again, questioning.
"The third… well… season… of the series… I've told you everything what happened last year… so there are no books needed." He explained. "You have already read the first two parts of the series and… well… there wouldn't be anything you don't already know… and these are the books you might not know everything about."
"Sammy… you know that we're okay… why do you do that?" I asked him. I could only imagine how hard this year of our lives had been for my brother. The year of my damned deal… I really didn't want him to feel awkward when he already felt so guilty.
"No… it's okay… I don't need to hide anything and well… I think you should know a few things, which happened over this year." He had his eyes downcast… he seemed to actually hide something. "I don't know… perhaps you don't like the books… it's past… but..." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Okay… I'm sorry… it was stupid… I'm sorry… "
"No, no, no…" I gripped his sleeve when I realized that he tried to stand up. "I don't think it's stupid… I just…" I huffed. I huffed so much these days. "It's really okay, Sammy… Just sit…"
"Thanks Sammy." I repeated, when I saw the distraught look on his face. "I'm really looking forward to reading them." I really did… I just hoped that he really get along with that.
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It wasn't even ten o' clock pm, but Sam was already sleeping tight in the bed beside me, his hand covering one of the books, which was laying beside him, his face hid in the pillow, his wayward hair sticking out everywhere. I would have loved to watch him like that… peaceful, just my little brother, Sammy… but right now… I was mad.
I shook my head angrily, my knuckles turning white around the book, sucking in a deep breath. I could strangle him. Why had he lied to me like that? I guessed this was the piece he talked about… the eleventh book…. Mystery Spot. I was nearly done with the book… well I was already back alive...
This stupid idiot really lived without me for six moth… half a year… and he didn't tell me.
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The boys are packing. Dean opens the door. "Hey, you don't look so good. Something else happen?" he asks Sam, who is standing still.
"I just had a really weird dream," Sam replies.
Dean nods. "Clowns or midgets?" Sam looks up at Dean, who smiles brightly at him. Sam smiles weakly back, and they leave the motel.
Hours later and miles away from the mystery spot, Sam and his brother finally turn into a motel.
"Hey… Sammy… why aren't you talk to me anymore?" The older man asks, seeing that though Sam was watching him, the boy hasn't opened his mouth once since they have left their last place.
"I'm talking" Sam replays, looking up. "Just tired."
"You've been a wrack today and yesterday… Is it about the trickster? I know it was hard for you…you wasn't supposed to see me die over and over again… but… Sammy… perhaps he was right… it kinda helped you get over seeing me die…" Dean reasons
"Ha" Sam lets out a faked laugh. "Funny…what a great idea… get used to see you brother dying… over and OVER again." A lone tear makes his way over Sam's cheek.
"Sammy…" Dean says quietly, sitting down on the bad beside his brother. "I can't even imagine how hard this was… but every morning we could talk about what was happening… and I was there…" The older brother still doesn't know that he died period.
"Yeah… right." Spits Sam.
"Sam… is there something you don't tell me?" Dean lays a hand on his brother's shoulder, squeezing it, when he sees his brother's tears.
"Dean… I don't want to see you die again… never again and I don't want to relive you being dead." Sam sobs.
"Relive?" Dean asks suspiciously.
"Well… you always were dead for a few seconds… in those I always prayed that I would wake up, getting another chance." Sam blushes. He has really always hoped that he would wake up again… Six moths long.
"Sure?" Dean presses.
Sam nods. Dean believes.
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"Sam, wake up." I ordered, sitting down on his bed, beside his legs, swatting one of them lightly.
"W-what?" Sam sat up, looking at me with tired eyes. I didn't know what to say. I was angry and I wanted him to know that, but I also didn't want him to think that I hated him.
Ahhhh. It was so depressing. I had to be so careful what to talk to him, what to say…
"Oh…" Sam looked down at the sheets, avoiding looking at me. "You've read the Mystery Spot…"
I knew it… the whole thing was about that. "Sam… I could… I should… why didn't you tell me that? Six month… have you lost your freaking mind?" I hissed, trying to keep my voice on a low level.
"Dean… you've read it yourself… you've seen what happened… do you really think I would have told you? You would have freaked, knowing what I had became." Sam looked up at me, his eyes were bright. "I know I should have told you… and I'm sorry… god… I have screwed everything. Sometimes I wish you wouldn't have make that deal… So much would have been easier."
My heart missed a beat, hearing that. I knew he wasn't just talking about that Mystery Spot. "Sam…" I breathed out. "Yeah… I would have freaked out, knowing that my death would rip you apart like that… but we could have figured it out and you wouldn't have to be alone with that."
He didn't respond to that.
"So… Sammy… About that deal I made… you know what?" I hocked in front of the bed, a hand on his wet cheek, my eyes piercing his darker ones. "I haven't regretted making it… not once. So would you finally get over it? We're okay… and hell… we're even gonna figure out how to stop Lucifer… I promise."
"Dean…"
"Shut up and stand up… I wanna celebrate my re-birthday… we still have one hour… what do you say? Let's watch some TV."
I sat down with him on the couch… talking, watching TV, drinking beer.
We would make it alright… we could figure everything out.