"Foolish Hearts"
'Chapter Twenty'
It had been over an hour.
Maybe a little longer.
Shikamaru had left the council's chambers, walking up the spiral steps to the Hokage-sama's chambers. He pushed the doors open only to find empty space. He sighed softly to himself; but truly he hadn't really expected to find Naruto there; he couldn't expect the blonde to be doing work; or even wanting to be present in the tower after what had happened.
God…
Shikamaru didn't know what to do about it.
He had to find Naruto, tell him the hard cold truth; the council had given him orders. Shikamaru found himself on the path to Naruto's home; just on the outskirts of the village. He had let himself in the gates, up the stone path and towards into the home.
The door still wasn't locked…
It wasn't regulation anymore; no Anbu stationed outside, there was nothing left to guard. But Naruto still hadn't locked his doors yet. "Naruto..?" Shikamaru called into the empty home, his tone soft -- coaxing almost in case the blonde was hiding somewhere.
Naruto was sitting in the middle of their circle.
The last shirt Sasuke had worn in his hands.
He stared out across the garden, his eyes on the koi pond in the corner.
Tear tracks were stained on his tanned cheeks.
He almost swayed with the wind, too distraught to keep himself still..
His chest was a blaze, his hurt burned.
Sasuke was gone.
His Sasuke was gone!
Then he heard the voice calling his name...
He felt himself almost double over his palms against his forehead, his fingers gripping his hair tightly, shirt still in his hand.
Shikamaru was there…
It was done...
Sasuke was really gone…
"No..." He breathed out a gasping sob leaving him. He felt his shoulders shake. No! He didn't want to hear it! No! God he didn't want to hear those words, please, no...
Shikamaru walked out onto the porch, his dark brown eyes surveying the blonde as he was doubled over -- shirt clutched in his hands and outwardly sobbing.
Naruto…
There was nothing he could say to ease that pain…
Shikamaru felt awkward, stupid, feeling almost like it was his fault Sasuke was gone; being the messenger just didn't fit right now, it was painful to see the blonde like this. "..I'm sorry." Shikamaru started in a strained tone, his hands in his pockets, his gaze looking off into the corner of the garden. "…it's done."
He had to relay the message.
Of course Naruto knew.
But it was orders.
He bowed his head in silent respect for the blonde's mourning.
"No!" The fox cried out as his crying got louder and harder.
He hadn't been able to protect Sasuke!
He hadn't been able to save him!
"God no!" He cried his hands coming down and wrapping themselves around his body, trying to comfort himself.
He could do nothing...
Sasuke was dead...
The last of the Uchihas finally gone...
"SASUKE!!"
His scream echoed across the garden as he finally doubled over to the ground, his forehead touching the same dirt he and Sasuke had made love on. His fingers curled into the same dirt Sasuke's long, lithe fingers had gripped in ecstasy.
And it was gone, all of it...gone, with a simple injection, Sasuke was gone…
And Naruto…
…was alone…
Shikamaru frowned at the blonde's back, unsure what to do, unsure how to comfort the screaming blonde. Then he heard footsteps, and he almost didn't have time to turn when he saw their old teacher running to the porch.
"Naruto?" Iruka's voice was strained, he glanced to Shikamaru before he caught sight of his make-shift son laid out on the dirt and sobbing out his anguish. "Naruto..." Iruka ran down the steps towards the weeping kitsune, kneeling on the dirt and gathering the other man in his arms. He held him firmly in his grasp, "I'm sorry…" Iruka's own eyes were tearing up; he had been with Naruto every step of the way, when the blonde had first developed his crush on Sasuke…to when the Uchiha left…to when Naruto was alone trying to run the village.
All the way to when he returned…and now to this, when Sasuke never had the option of coming back.
He rocked the Hokage-sama like a child, trying to soothe away the hurt.
Shikamaru looked away from the intimate scene of pain, slowly trailing out of the home and wishing he could just say a little more to make it all better.
Naruto gripped Iruka's shirt tightly, his face pressed into the man's chest as he cried. He heard the soothing sounds of Iruka trying to calm him, and felt the lightly rocking.
But none of it would help.
None of it would help soothe his heart or bring back his lover.
His world had shattered.
His hands shook as they gripped the fabric, he'd been crying for over an hour now, and he showed no signs of stopping.
"You have to be strong..." Iruka murmured, having shed a few tears of his own, unsure how to help the kitsune -- and it was upsetting him. All he could do was hold him, smooth down his hair and try and ease the horrible hurt he must be feeling in his chest.
"He- he's..gon-gone!" The blonde sobbed out. He knew he needed to be stronger, Sasuke had told him to be happy, had told him not to cry. "…tou-san." He whimpered, his fingers gripping harder into the fabric, "Th-they took -- him.."
"I know…I know…" Iruka held Naruto close to him, running his hand through the blonde's hair and across his scalp in a soothing gesture. His eyes were pinched shut, Naruto's pain hurting his heart. "…I know…" Iruka wanted to say something more, wanted to tell him it would get better -- that he'd be okay.
...but it would take a long time for this to get better.
For the pain to heal.
Naruto's soul had been ripped out of him; Naruto and Sasuke needed each other, and now one would never come back. It was something Iruka wasn't sure Naruto had to strength to overcome, but he had to believe in him, he had to tell the fox he was strong.
The blonde cried for hours on end.
The morning sun drifting to the afternoon, before lazily falling to the evening.
Naruto had all but cried himself catatonic.
He felt numb, worn out; his heart felt as if someone had just removed thousands of needles from it…
All but half-dead in Iruka's arms.
His hand still tightly clutching the shirt, his small life line.
Iruka slowly picked Naruto up then, maneuvering the blonde towards the home. He wasn't as easy to carry anymore -- Naruto was bulkier now, his limbs longer, looking a little awkward in his teacher's arms. Iruka's eyes were red, he was out of tears and so was the blonde. Naruto's eyes were shut, his breathing evened -- having cried himself into a sort of coma. He placed the fox on the bed, gently removing his hand from his shirt, placing the shirt he had been clutching outside over the fox as a sort of blanket.
...he could only guess it held some meaning; assuming it must have been Sasuke's and it hurt Iruka's heart.
Naruto…
You'll make it through this…
He gently brushed the blonde's bangs aside, unable to muster a smile as he gazed down at his broken child.
--
Naruto's heavy eyes slowly opened up; he felt achy and completely worn out, he had nothing left for himself.
Sasuke was gone…
The village council had betrayed him.
He carefully snuggled down into the blanket...no, not a blanket.
Glancing down to the soft thing covering him, inhaling that wind and spice smell…
Sasuke's shirt.
His heart clenched, his eyes closing.
...Sasuke.
Iruka had woken up a few hours before -- he had stationed himself on the couch not ready to leave the heart-broken blonde just yet. Currently the brunette was walking back down the hall, rounding on Naruto's bedroom a little surprised to see the kitsune awake. Iruka slowly entered the room, sitting on the chair next to the bed -- he had dragged it from the window; unsure what it had been doing there; unaware it was Sasuke's chair. He set the tea he was holding on the night table, unsure if he should reach out to the blonde who seemed to be trying to melt into the shirt he was holding. "...hey." His voice sounded weird to his ears, knowing the sound of it was a horrid in this mourning silence.
The fox's eyes slowly opened up as he gazed over towards Iruka. He caught sight of the serene look in his eyes; Iruka was trying to comfort him. "Hey..." He murmured, his voice cracking.
He was talking…
That was a good start.
"How're you feeling?" It was a stupid question, but he wanted Naruto to keep talking, to try and get him out of his head. "Would you like some tea?" He added absently, gesturing to the steaming cup.
The fox glanced over to the cup and blinked...tea?
He slowly pushed himself up so he was at least sitting. He looked down at the shirt, debating with himself, he didn't want to get anything on it, but at the same time, he didn't want it to leave him...
His security blanket.
Carefully he maneuvered the shirt around so it was pillowed in his lap.
"..Sure."
Iruka was almost elated by Naruto's little actions; knowing the blonde was strong and this was making him a little happy. He quickly handed the cup to the blonde's outstretched hands, noticing the shirt still in his lap but not saying anything.
...this was going to be hard.
But he knew Naruto would persevere, he always did.
"It's a nice day out." Iruka said simply, the window was slightly open, the sky a bright cloudless blue and the scent of spring wafted into the room.
The fox carefully sipped at his tea, his eyes flickering towards the light outside.
...of course it would be nice out…
He let out a long, slow sigh and leaned back against the headboard. He held the cup with one hand, before he let his other come up to his chest, rubbing the ache in his heart.
He wanted to go to the garden.
He wanted to be with his Sasuke.
Iruka rubbed his neck, trying to think of something else to say, noticing the looming sadness in the blonde's eyes as he looked to the window. "Would you like to go back to the garden?" He asked quietly, knowing that the new batch of plants had some sort of meaning…
...but Iruka wasn't entirely informed on what. Of course it probably had a meaning to him and Sasuke; some type of memory otherwise he wouldn't have found the man laying in it the other day balling his eyes out.
The fox nodded slowly, "Yes…" He held his tea carefully in his hand as he moved his legs over the side of the bed. He held the shirt close to him as he stood, "How long was I sleeping..?"
Iruka slowly got out the chair, allowing the blonde room as he got out of bed; he still didn't really look all there. "Since…yesterday." The brunette followed his former student down the hall towards the porch and into the bright rays of sunlight.
...such a beautiful day.
It was a little sad really.
The smell of flowers was thick on the air; the wind picking up just a bit, ruffling his hair as the dolphin descended the porch steps watching as the blonde took a seat in his ring of flowers.
Naruto moved down into the dirt, his back resting against the cypress like tree. He drew his knees up to his chest, the shirt resting between his arms. He glanced at the cypress and sighed, "...This was the last one we planted..." He smirked slightly, "Actually..." His eyes lightened at the memory, "I made him do it, he hated getting dirty."
They planted this together then.
Iruka smiled almost sadly, trying to tame his thoughts and not focus on that bit of empathy for the blonde. Iruka's dark brown eyes surveyed the kitsune's expression noticing the slight smirk and the light in his eyes.
...he'd be fine.
He'd make it.
Iruka kneeled next to the man then, ruffling his blonde spikes, "You always were very persuasive."
The fox shrugged slightly, "Sasuke was just a sucker for a couple good love bites and a smile." Reaching up, he rubbed the bottom of his nose with the back of his hand. "Although..." He sighed and seemed to grip the shirt tighter, "No one knew that..."
Iruka tried to keep his faint smile, still sitting close to the blonde, watching as he was gripping the shirt firmly again -- falling into memories no doubt. "But you knew that." Iruka said firmly, "You can remember Sasuke, live for him."
"...if you want to call it living." The fox murmured. He let his face rest close to the shirt, inhaling the smell of wind and spice; Sasuke's smell. "There's really not much to live for."
"There's a lot to live for." Iruka tried on, "You have a whole village to protect." Iruka kept his hand on the blonde's shoulder, letting Naruto curl around the shirt but trying not to let him sink into depression. "You have his memory." Iruka murmured softly, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.
"The village." Naruto snorted. "The village wanted him dead." The fox almost snarled. "Why should I protect it?"
Iruka was taken aback by Naruto's pure hate in his tone; it reminded him…of… Sasuke. Iruka frowned, "Naruto...surely you don't really think that way?" Iruka tried to pick through the emotions on the blonde's face, unsure how to voice his thoughts.
"I do." He admitted. "There's nothing worthy for me to protect. The council is nothing but cruel men and women who are bought off by others." He shook his head and leaned into Iruka slightly, "I can't protect anyone."
"Everyone counts on you Naruto." The dolphin let the fox lean against him, gently holding the man as he spat his anger.
Naruto was just upset…
He ran his hand through the blonde's hair in a soothing manner, "Don't think that way, don't let yourself be tainted by hate." Iruka sighed, looking down to the blonde with soft brown eyes, "You're better than that…"
Naruto sighed heavily, his eyes closing.
He was better than his anger.
He knew it; but he was so angry, and so sad.
"They wouldn't let me go with him…at the end..." He felt himself start to tear up again, "...they wouldn't let me stay with him."
Iruka frowned slightly, hearing the strain in his son's voice, keeping the blonde close in a type of comforting gesture.
"I'm sorry Naruto..." Iruka said, his tone soft and sincere. "...but you now why things must be done." Iruka hugged Naruto a little firmer, "You're the Hokage-sama…emotional ties can get very…compromising."
...he knew he didn't need to lecture.
But he wanted to extinguish that flame of anger in the blonde; he didn't want Naruto to lose himself to his pain.
The fox let out a shuttering breath. "He was scared..." He breathed out. "His hands wouldn't stop shaking..." The kit reached up and covered his eyes with his hand, trying to hide his eyes.
Iruka closed his eyes, holding the blonde firmly as he felt his shoulders start to shake. He took in a shuddering breath, wanting to know how to make this better but he knew there was nothing he could say. "...it's okay to cry Naruto." Iruka said softly, running his hands soothingly down the blonde's strong back. "It's okay…"
"He made me promise..." He tried to keep the tears back. "He wanted me to be happy for him." Naruto arched slightly into the hand running down his back. It was smaller and thicker than Sasuke's, but the touch was nice.
He wouldn't be feeling another touch for a long, long time.
Iruka smiled gently, moving his hand under the blonde's chin and lifting his head up. "Then...how about a smile?" Iruka put on his best smile, tears still in the corners of his eyes -- shed for his son's loss. "Show Sasuke how strong you are."
The fox stared up at his adopted father, the despair still hanging in his eyes. He slowly licked his lips, before he gave the man the cheesiest and fakest smile he could manage. "Is this good?" He asked in a forced voice, his upper and lower teeth set right on the edge of each other, his cheeks pulled back.
Iruka laughed then -- a tired shallow laugh, pulling Naruto's cheeks with his fingers and making him smile wider. "Good enough." Iruka said softly.
Naruto let out a soft chuckle, and pulled his face out of Iruka's fingers. "Cheek pincher." He reached up and rubbed his face gently.
Iruka smiled at his son, just watching him as he rubbed his face.
It would be okay.
In time Naruto would be okay.
--
A/N:
Another chapter done! Super glad you're all still liking it so far. If you wanna read more please leave a review and we'll have the next chapter out as soon as we can. Thank you!