Chapter 2
Tuesday, August 26th - continued
When I left Bentonville, I had taken whatever I needed from my dad's house. Mom didn't want anything… she didn't even want to help me go through any of it. Of course, that's not what she said, but as always, she made up an excuse that would pardon her absence. Again. Part of me wanted to just throw it all out and leave as soon as possible. I think she kind of hoped that I would. But, because I am my fathers' daughter, I went through everything. Every piece of scrap paper in his desk, every article of clothing, every fragment of junk in the garage waiting for him to renovate had been successfully rifled through when I was finally finished. So, I packed what I thought I would need to be comfortable with living by myself (basically the whole kitchen, linens, personal belongings, my books and movies, pictures that I couldn't live without – some of him and mom during the early days, a couple of his shirts I couldn't bare to give away, etc.). Somehow, everything that I owned, in addition to everything I took from my dad, had fit snugly into the old mustang my dad gave me. With the car packed to the brim, I wasn't able use my rear-view mirror. I considered that a good thing. I didn't want to look back. I didn't want to even have the chance as I was driving towards the west.
When I had finally arrived in Tempe, I started to unpack, thinking it would make me more comfortable, more at home. At first it did. The kitchen had gone smoothly and feeling accomplished, I moved on to the guest bedroom. I set my lap top up in the corner, unloaded my books, and made a mental note to stop at Target or Ikea to get some bookshelves, a cheap desk, and some other small essentials.
Everything had been going great. I was out. I was finally out of my small town and in a large city. I had successfully escaped the pitying faces that surrounded me since before what would have been my high school graduation. I started feeling free and grown up. It was absolutely blissful.
It wasn't until I started pulling out the pictures that it felt wrong. When I packed them originally, I had felt like I needed these pictures to be near me so I couldn't have left them behind or throw them away. But, as I began to find a place for them, I couldn't look at them. I was surprised at the time at how much it hurt and how there seemed to be a hole growing inside. I had been so… numb to this feeling before. What had happened wasn't unexpected. I had been ready, I was trained to take over, and I wasn't surprised that day. But now, the sense of being alone and of missing family … it felt final. It was final. I was no longer at home, no longer in the familiar surroundings of a town I had lived in for the last twenty-two years. The house of my childhood had been sold and the left over belongings (belongings I had known, played with, loved, hated) were given to Good Will or thrown out. That part of my life was over… and I was anxious to start a new chapter. I just wasn't sure how to start.
My stomach growled so loud that it was embarrassing, even if no one else had heard it. Thankful for the distraction my hungry stomach gave me, I remembered that I had come back to my bare apartment for lunch. With still one more class to get through today, I needed to feed before I attempted, yet again, to not embarrass myself horribly on campus. So, in the tradition of college students everywhere, I plopped myself down in front of my laptop (Phil – my moms latest and "greatest" conquest – got it for me after my announcement of moving across the country to go to a school that I wasn't even sure I would like) with a bowl of ramen and began browsing the internet.
Facebook, one of the only connections I still had to home, didn't really hold my interest. However, it definitely held the interest of half of old classmates. I took my time, reading each new comment and trying to respond in a way that wouldn't be too gloomy. I was trying to make them believe that things were perfect, that Arizona was like heaven. An oven-like heaven. I lied, over and over, pretending that the heat was something that I loved, something I craved.
I puffed out a sigh as I finished the very last bit of my ramen and sat my blue Ravenclaw bowl into the sink and I told myself that I would wash it later.
I admit that I'm a big fan of the Harry Potter books. However, my mom had gone through a phase of being really into Harry Potter. She spent just about my entire senior year calling me "ickle Bella-kins" in a terribly false English accent. In front of everyone. Always. On top of that, she had actually found a paint-your-own-pottery shop and made me a set of bowls as a present for my 18th birthday. A bowl for each house as well as one with the Hogwarts crest. Though I may not have been very grateful for them at the time… they are pretty fantastic.
Since I moved to Tempe, this had become my routine: ramen noodles (sometimes exchanged with something equally as bad for me, but still, too easy to make) and the internet. I'd only been here for about a week, but this was quickly becoming all I did. I had to find something else to do. Anything could be better than this.
Maybe I could get a job.
Dad had told me on several occasions that if I could make it through school without a job, to do it. Schooling was always far more important to him and he wanted me to concentrate on something I wanted to do, rather than something I "had" to do. I tried to reason with him in high school. "Everyone gets a job!" But he held firm to his beliefs. He told me that in college, he had to work his way through and that going to school full-time and working just about full-time was not something he would wish on anyone, especially when it came to writing papers, studying for tests, and creating projects. His professors didn't care that he had to works and his employer didn't care that he was a full-time student; they looked at him as if he were just an all-around slacker and couldn't keep up.
"You need to decide which is more important to you, getting paid or getting an education."
After Dad passed away, I thought that I would have to get a job and that his wishes would go unfulfilled. I should have known better, of course. But it was still a bit shocking after talking to his lawyer that I would be taken care of. Somehow, dad had made sure when the time came, his wishes wouldn't go unnoticed. Between his savings, his life insurance policy, and the checks that mom and Phil send monthly to buy my love: I didn't need anything. I most definitely wouldn't need a job but with the lack of activity and the abundance of boredom that was occupying my time, I wanted one. Just to quickly revive my dull life.
I enjoy the quiet and my privacy. Company wasn't something I felt I needed, either. Sure, it was nice sometimes, but I could see how it could become annoying (which is exactly why I avoided going to live with my mother. My annoyance would grow rapidly around her). What little company I would need, I could easily get in class – or at a job, should I choose to get one. Because of this, I didn't feel that I needed a roommate, though I let the sales woman talk me into the two bedrooms … "just in case".
Also, Tempe and its surroundings are so much larger and far more diverse than my small little town of Bentonville, Arkansas. Who knew who was out there? They could be sloppy, drug addicts, rapists, murd… I had to stop myself there.
Who knew? I definitely didn't. I couldn't judge. But still, I didn't want someone living with me who had several different … partners who would come over at all hours of the night, either. How would you know who you were asking to live with you? It's not like they would proudly announce it when you first meet them. Would they?
I shuddered at the thought of someone that open to a relative stranger.
Either way, I had all that I could ever ask for: a roof, food, and distance between me and those who knew me. I could be anyone, I could start over new, I had more than enough free time to do anything I wanted, and I had no worries about curfews. A college students dream, right? …Right.
Unfortunately, this whole free-time business was not for me. I needed something to work on. I wanted something constructive to do with my time. Maybe I could get an early start on studying for my morning classes.
Gah, how pathetic am I? The second day of school and I'm already thinking of studying. No. That won't do.
I could… wonder around campus and hope to run into him again. A smile started to appear on my face when I remembered our last encounter in the parking lot. No matter how short it was. No matter how ridiculous my reaction had been. The blush made its way back up into my cheeks.
This is absurd, Bella! You haven't even talked to him! The smile that had appeared had begun to diminish. I mean, with a face like his, he may not even know how to hold an intelligent conversation. Bring on the frown. He probably got through school on his looks alone. And anyway, a guy who looks like that wouldn't want me.
I let out a mangled sound of frustration.
That's it. I have to get out of this apartment.
I traded my socked feet for a pair of worn out flip flops, grabbed my bag, and I headed out the door. I swung open the drivers side and climbed in. Sitting for a minute, I tried to decide where I was going to go. I remembered hearing about a rather large library. I took a peek at my campus map. Hayden Library. Located right next to West Hall, on the way to my sociology class. The class with him.
Stop it, Bella. It's just a guy. There were guys in Arkansas, too.
I let out an annoyed sigh. Returning to the game plan, I chose the library. A library that size surely had a nice literature section. I wouldn't even have to try to study. I could check it out and get some casual reading done for myself.
I started the refurbished, old mustang and, in order to waste more time, I drove slower than normal towards campus. I tried to appreciate the differences between Tempe and home. The lack of green was quite possibly the most obvious and most aggravating. Besides the heat, of course. Tempe was like an oven. Pebbles were used for landscaping here; grass was something I had already started to miss.
This is what you wanted – different.
Back home, a rock yard was a sure sign of a retired couple; too old or too unwilling to do anything to care for their lawn.
Wispy needles covered trees instead of big oak leaves. There were flowery clumps of yellow everywhere. I wasn't quite sure if they came from trees or shrubs. Dad would know. He always loved this kind of stuff. Every once in a while, I'd pass a bush with bright purple blooms on it. Shockingly colorful to be stuck in a world of brown and dirt.
I could see the charm of the west. But with the tortuous heat, the cruel sun, not even a hint of cool breeze, and with the air standing so still that it was suffocating; I could see that it wasn't for me. What was I thinking? Coming to Tempe, of all places. You could have gone anywhere: Seattle, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, and yet, you still chose Tempe?! You chose to be a Sun Devil?! I questioned my sanity as searched around for Hayden. I spotted West Hall and I looked in the direction that it should be. Just a big patch of Astroturf, some solar panels, and a big structure that looked almost like a large lantern. I continued to glance around; thinking maybe I miss read the map. I walked around West Hall and quickly recognized the Coor Building and several other buildings. None of which were marked as a library. Walking back towards the field of Astroturf, I pulled out my map.
I quickly found where I was standing, in between West Hall and McClintock Hall. I walked forward, where the tail end of the library building should be and looked up from my map. Just then, I saw a small herd of students walk down in to a large hole in the ground just next to what the map called Wilson Hall. I looked at my map again and raised my eyes back to watch more students enter and exit.
Underground library? How had I missed this on when I was walking around campus? Was I seriously that blind that I couldn't see a gigantic hole in the middle of campus that I could now clearly see the large stone sign that boasted "HAYDEN LIBRARY" above it?
I thought back to the private campus tour that I had given myself. I had walked almost the entire campus when I had seen him. Had I really been in that much of a fog afterwards?
I took a puff of hot, stagnant air, frustrated at my lack of observation that I had just displayed. I could feel that my face was flushed from embarrassment and I felt a rush of gratitude to the desert air. No one would know that I wasn't sun burnt. I walked towards the staircase descending in to Hayden's underground and pushed him out of my mind. Stupid perfect looking face. I bet he's a selfish dill hole. I was annoyed and completely done thinking about him.
I sped my stride and almost started running to escape the oven that must have been pre-heated for 550 degrees. The doors pulled open automatically and I stepped into the glorious air conditioning. A few steps in, however, I seriously considered turning back into the heat. There's no way that it could have been nearly as sweltering as I had originally thought. I was lucky that I had decided to grab my fathers' old sweater before leaving the apartment, unfortunately, due to my flip flops, my toes would have to suffer the tundra that was Hayden Library. The vast room felt colder than a meat locker and for a split second, I was sure that my entire tuition had gone to AC this very building. I shivered out a breath and I thought I could almost see the vapor leave my mouth (but I'm sure it was just my imagination). I shivered once more and turned towards the study tables where a few students were already hard at work. At least I'm not the only one who has nothing else to do. I picked a seat and put my stuff down in order to go find something decent to read.
I wandered around the aisles and had covered quite a bit of ground before I found something that caught my eye. I quickly grabbed it and was heading back to my table when I heard some whispers on the other side of the shelf. It's not that I condone eavesdropping, but sometimes, even if I try my hardest to avoid it, I can't help but hear.
"No. He refused me. Again! Al, I'm beginning to think you're right. That he doesn't like me," A soft tenor voice complained.
"Of course I'm right, Mike. And it's not that he doesn't like you -- it's just that he doesn't like you. He isn't into… he doesn't play for your team, ya know? It's not like I haven't told you that about a hundred times," an exasperated soprano answered.
"Well maybe if you would have told me!" the boy exclaimed.
"Mike! You're impossible!" the girl nearly shouted at him before quickly adding in a hushed voice "What did I tell you last week when yet another one of your failed attempts at getting into his pants backfired on you?" she fumed at him.
I tried to muffle my giggles. I honestly did. But as I passed the opening of their aisle, handsome pair of blue eyes was glaring at me. He had heard me laughing at him. Crap! I stopped short and immediately felt my face blaze and my eyes widen. I probably looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I tried to get my feet to work again, afraid of what the lovesick boy may say to me, but they wouldn't budge.
"Well, well, Alice" he said in a condescending tone and a wicked glint in his eyes, "he may not want me, but at least I don't look like that." He snickered to the small girl next to him.
I frowned as I looked down at myself. What was so bad about what I looked like? Jeans and a sweatshirt. Was that not good for here? Was my hair tangled or greasy? I took a shower today…
I looked back up to see the short girl appraise me critically, but the longer she looked, the bigger her smile got. It didn't seem like a sneer, or even sarcastic… but what did I know about her and her mean habits? The uncomfortable feeling I had when Mike had caught me grew too unbearable. I started to escape. The library was obviously the wrong choice. I shouldn't have even wasted my time attempting to find it. I'll have to find a different way to waste time… there's got to be a Barnes and Noble around here somewhere. That surely would have been better than this. Suddenly, the elf-like girl came running towards me and I felt my body tense as I tried to walk faster towards the table that held my belongings...
"Mike, you big jerk!" she hissed behind her. "Wait. I'm sorry for him." She called to me in a louder voice, causing people to glare up at me from their studies.
"He's just mad." She glared at her tall friend as she finally caught me. She quickly rearranged her face into a bright smile as she turned back to me and stuck out her hand to introduce herself.
"I'm Mary. But everyone calls me Alice. I haven't seen you around before, are you new?" She spoke rapidly, excited to be talking to someone she didn't recognize.
"Uh, yeah. I'm new." I mumbled back.
"What's your name?" she asked, more controlled this time.
"Bella." I picked my bag up and gave her a weak smile, nodding at her as I took a step away, hoping to continue my escape.
"Bella, wait!" she followed and grabbed my arm.
"Have you had lunch yet? Mike and I were heading to the MU and you can come, too." Mike made an annoyed huff and stormed off cursing.
"Well, it looks like I'm going to lunch. I'd love for you to come," she amended her invitation, not looking upset in the slightest that her lunch date with Mike seemed to be cancelled.
"I've already eaten actually." I told her, still slightly uncomfortable, but much better since Mike had left.
"How about coffee? There's a small shop right around the corner. Come on!" she grabbed my arm, not letting me disagree.
Allowing myself to be pulled to the exit, I wasn't quite sure how to feel. At least this would be an interesting way to pass time. With that thought, I felt a smile crawl onto my face.
Talking to Alice was a different experience. She was hilarious, side-splittingly funny, open to new things and people, and very welcoming. It was a nice change from my computer screen. She told me about Mike, his one sided love affair, and his sad, failed attempt at wooing some poor guy named Edward. She told me how she was born and raised here in Tempe. She and her older brother, Emmett (she also called him "the Giant"), grew up next door to the Masens'. The Masen family had two boys and a girl. Edward (the poor boy who Mike fancies) was the youngest of the Masen kids and had turned 21 over the summer. Jasper (I didn't miss how she said his name like a sacred prayer) and Rosalie Masen were twins and were on the verge of turning 23. Emmett's 23rd birthday was two weeks ago, while Alice would turn 21 in January. They were all thrown together as children and were inseparable since. She told me several stories ranging from joint-family vacations, parties, high school drama, to the more recent college/dorm life craziness.
I had just finished my first Velvet Elvis, only trying it because Alice had bought it without telling me. Alice was in the middle of telling me about a graduation party that they had all attended when her phone sang out Hedwig's theme. She frowned slightly at the interruption but quickly smiled when she saw who was calling. I held in a big smile as I heard the familiar tune. My mom had put that ringer on my own phone when she bought it for me. I'd have to be sure to ask Alice about Harry Potter. Maybe then I'd have something interesting to add to the conversation.
"Do you mind if I take this real quick?" She asked as she bounced lightly in her seat.
"No, that's fine. I… I need to run to the bathroom anyway." I lied in order to give her privacy and to stretch my legs. She smiled brilliantly at me and assured me it would only take a second or two. I smiled back and got up from my chair. I turned the corner towards the bathroom but got distracted by a display of original looking coffee mugs and music. That's one good thing about Tempe so far. I'd get to experience music I would never hear of in Arkansas. I stood and looked through the interesting color combinations and rifled through CD's of people I've never heard of, picking out which ones I would want to buy eventually. When I felt as if I had spent enough time in the bathroom to be polite I headed back towards Alice.
Immediately, I saw that she wasn't alone. A handsome blond man was sitting next to her with an amused smile stretched over his face as she excitedly recited the story of Mike's newest attempt at getting himself into Edwards' pants … er, heart. I caught the tail end of the story, but what I had heard was even better than in the library.
"Jasper," Ah, so this was the Jasper Masen. I could see why Alice adored him, but it was also very obvious that he adored Alice just as much, maybe more.
"He was so devastated ... that Edward … wouldn't pull ... the ribbon!" she continued, laughing hysterically.
Jasper sputtered with laughter. Once he had caught his breath, he agreed by saying he wouldn't have pulled it either.
"Oh Jazz, it was priceless." She took a deep breath and wiped her eye as if she had been crying. I smiled politely at her as I sat, not wanting to interrupt their conversation.
"This is Bella by the way, the one I told you about" Glancing at me. Maybe it was me, but something about the way she said my name made it sound like there was a hidden agenda. Something I didn't know that the both of them did.
Jasper looked at me with his green eyes and smiled, but much like Alice had earlier, he seemed to take me in. As if sizing me up. But those thought swiftly left my mind as his smile grew. There was something about the smile that seemed very familiar, but still different. It was too…. Straight? Yes. It should be a little crooked and it'd be perfect.
Just like him.
"Hello, Bella." He said courteously. "Alice tells me you two met not long ago?"
I nodded, a little dazed and smiled back at him. Jasper's smile may not be better than his, but it was still quite dizzying.
"Wow. And you're still here? You must be very brave." he joked. He turned towards Alice, just in time to see her tongue sticking out at him. He smiled bigger.
"What he means to say, Bella, is that it's nice to meet you and that we both hope to see you around more." She said while not breaking his eye contact with a rather large smile on her face, as well, giggling slightly.
"It's nice to meet you, too, Jasper." I said. They were still gazing at each other and suddenly, I felt as if I was intruding on a private moment.
He leaned in to her side and started whispering to her. I tried my best not to listen. But obviously, Jasper was not fluent in secrets. I looked down and started playing with my phone. Pretending to check a text message I didn't really have.
"I think you're right, Ali." He said softly, yet still too clearly. "Of course, we'd have to be more careful. You know how he overreacts when we try to .. help him out. You remember last time?" he shuddered.
"I couldn't pitch for two weeks last time" he continued while looking at me from the corner of his eye.
"Later Jazz. I know it'll happen. It's all I can see." she smiled slyly at him and quickly dismissed the secret topic.
"So Bella," Alice returned to her normal, cheery tone. "Would you want to come to dinner with all of us tonight? Or do you have plans?" She asked, suddenly looking unsure.
I thought for a minute. It couldn't hurt to meet all of the Masens' and Brandons' could it? It'd be nice to have some friends here, and if they were anything like Alice said, we'd get along great. I did have another class today, but that would be over at 4:15 at the latest. What the heck, what else would I do? Facebook? No way. Not tonight!
"Yeah, that'd be great!" I said, excited.
We exchanged numbers and I told her what time I'd be out of class. She looked at the area code from my number and frowned slightly.
"Bella, where are you from? I've never seen this code before?" she asked. It sounded a little tense.
Why would an area code make someone tense? You're being stupid, Bella.
"Oh… I'm from Arkansas." I looked down at my shoes. A little hick town in Arkansas. A little hick town that I didn't want to be reminded of anymore today.
"Really?" she sounded intrigued. She'd probably be wondering why I wasn't barefoot and pregnant or some other ridiculous stereotype people have of the South. "You don't have an accent."
That wasn't a question.
"Nope. I escaped without one. I'm actually the only one in my family without one. I lucked out" I laughed, hoping the subject would be closed. Honestly, I was lucky to be without. It used to make me feel left out, saying the odd things that only Southerners say, but it not sounding right. But now, it would only help me blend in and I was thankful for that.
I said a quick goodbye to Jasper and Alice said she'd call after class if I didn't call first. But before I walked out the door, she caught me in a hug goodbye. I was stunned. I haven't let anyone touch me since dad left. It wasn't really intentional, but physical forms of affection just made me cringe afterward. Alice was just so friendly that I guess I was caught with my guard down. I walked back to my car and I was shocked to find that the hug wasn't awkward or as uncomfortable I assumed it would be. It felt like hugging a sister. It was nice.
Class ended early and the end couldn't have come sooner. The professor seemed to be very cut and dry, what you see is what you get, and overly dull. His syllabus was split into "DO IT" and "DON'T DO IT". That part was okay. What was not okay was the creeper next to me. He sat alarmingly close to me and would leer at me every time the professor would say the phrase "do it". The last "do it", he even raised his eyebrow at me and passed me his number. Luckily, just then Professor Hale muttered a quick dismissal and I literally ran out of the room … leaving the creepers number behind me on the desk.
Still jogging out of the building, I looked back to ensure that I wasn't being followed. Good. No one seemed to be behind me. Well, no one that made my skin crawl, at least. I turned back just in time to see the swiftest glimpse of his face and his wide, shocked eyes before our bodies collided and crashed to the ground.
Son of a mother!!!
I was horrified. I was absolutely frozen and my eyes were squeezed so tightly that it was starting to hurt.
I landed on him.
Not near him.
Not even beside him.
Oh no. No … no.
I landed on him. Not only that, but I landed on him. Out of all the people in the world … out of all the people at Arizona fucking State … that I could have used my body as a battering ram against and land on top of, like he was my own personal pillow (of course, if he wanted to be my personal pillow ... I wouldn't mind.), it just had to be him. There was a hand near my lower back and one closer to my shoulder. To an outsider, it would look like a loving embrace. But to someone who had witnessed the truth of what happened -- they would know that he was probably just trying to find something to latch onto. I just was the only thing within reach.
I heard a low groan coming from underneath, however; neither of us had yet made a move to get up. I cautiously squinted through one eye, hoping to catch of glimpse of the expression he had on his face, praying with all my might he wouldn't be angry with me. To my surprise, his eyes were closed and a quiet smile was lingering on his attractive face, just like the one by the car earlier before lunch. He actually looked as if he had thoroughly enjoyed being tackled by an insane stranger. I opened my eyes the rest of the way and to get a closer look.
He really did. With his hands still in place, he really looked relaxed and completely at ease. He hadn't even bothered to open his eyes until I started to extract myself from him. When those vibrant green eyes snapped open, it seemed as if he had forgotten his surroundings.
As if one could forget that they were lying on their backs, in the middle of campus, with a girl on top of them. The moment our bodies broke free of each other, reality hit him. The look in his eyes changed and for a minute he looked like a little boy who just had his favorite toy stolen from him.
I stood up quickly. Too quickly. My head was spinning. Slowly, he stood up as well. I hadn't realized how tall he was.
Fuck, he's gorgeous. He continued to stare at me, a little frown on his face as he opened his mouth to say something. He was so close. His hair was blazing in the sun.
It was suddenly very hot.
"Oh god. I'm so sorry! … I can… I can't believe. I'm so sorry that I wasn't watching where I was going. I was runni—crap!" I started in. I averted my eyes when I found that looking at him turned me into a bumbling mess. I knew that the heat I was feeling wasn't just Arizona, that my face had to be a tomato. I took step back to give him his space (a chance to flee, if you will), but as I did, he followed and took a step forward, his arm raised just slightly.
What was that?
I took another step and started to turn when he put his hand on my shoulder, stopping me.
Did he not want to go? Did he not want me to go? Did he miss the feeling of my body pressed against him the way I did?
That'd be nice. Highly unlikely. I reminded myself. But, still very nice.
I turned to face him fully, trying not to stare at the beautiful man that stood in front of me. For all I knew, he could think me as creepy as I thought the creeper in my last class. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.
"Please, no apologies. I'm the one to blame. I saw you coming and I…I don't know what went wrong, but I..." he trailed off, not seeming to be able to find the words he wanted. Was he nervous?
"I'm glad I was there to, at - at least, break your fall," he chuckled slightly. Even if he was anxious, his voice was rich like velvet. I looked up at him with a questioning glance and was quite pleased to see his crooked smile and blush in place as well.
Huh. At least it wasn't just me. He looked down at his shoes and then slowly looked back into my eyes.
"I –uh, I've seen you around." He said, clearing his throat. The alluring blush continued to sneak out of his cheeks as he gained composure of himself, eventually returning his face to the wonderful color that rivaled my own paleness.
Of course he had seen me, I thought chagrined. I had stood up in front of the entire class and made a fool of myself during those stupid introductions. His blush may be retreating; mine however had come back full force. His lip twitched and his smile grew a bit wider.
"Yeah, I… I think you may be in my sociology class…?" I answered trying to act as if I hadn't basically drooling all over myself from looking at him during said class.
"I'm Edward by the way." He stuck his pale hand out as if to shake. "We did those introductions in class, I know. But I must say that I was a bit distracted and sadly missed your name." he chuckled. The sound of even his slight laughter was comfortably warm and wrapped around me like the best kind of hug. No sound could ever compare.
"It's Bella. Well, technically it's Isabella, but … Bella." I tried to cut my rambles off in time. I raised my hand up to his to answer his friendly gesture but when our hands connected, my breath caught. An electrical spark shot through me. Did he feel that? If he did, he showed no indication, but he smiled big at my name and mouthed it as if committing it to memory.
"Well, Bella," It was my turn to smile big as I realized how wrong I was. I didn't just want to hear his melodious laughter; I wanted to hear my name from his lips everyday of forever. The sound of my name coming out of his mouth was perfection. He looked down at his feet again, his blush brighter than ever.
"Now that you've tackled me, maybe you'd… want to join me for dinner?" His glowing eyes, fixated on mine, seemed to burn with green fire. I'd officially die happy. I looked down as well in an attempt to control the ridiculous joy that was threatening to erupt from my body. When my eyes returned to his dazzling face, I was startled and thrilled to see his excited, green orbs were still fixated on my unremarkable brown ones.
Yes! Absolutely, let's go! My inner self was doing somersaults and flips that I could never actually pull-off. I couldn't help the smile that came to my face. This boy – no, not boy– this man wanted to eat with me. To spend time with me! Him. The gorgeous one from class. From the parking lot. The reason I nearly mauled a poor landscaper on my first trip to campus. He was looking at me again with a full fledged, handsomely, crooked smile on his face. Oh, his eyes! I thought for the second time today.
Why? Why would he want me?
Apparently, I hadn't answered soon enough. He lifted his hand and lightly grabbed my hand, forcing my eyes back to his on contact. Again, a slight shock reverberated through my body as if saying "SAY YES! SAY YES!!!" He smiled once more.
"Bella, come to dinner with me." He implored, searching my face, staring into my soul, waiting for my answer. I could feel his hand wrapped around mine. His thumb was softly moving in calm circles on the back of my hand. I looked down towards our hands and I was dazed. His pale skin holding onto mine looked like it was made to be. It looked like perfection. I felt my mouth go dry at the thought of never getting a chance to hold his hand again. I looked back into his eyes.
"I... I would really like that, but.. I" I desperately tried to come up with the right words to express how desperately, but not too desperately, I wanted to go with him. Alice Brandon! I cursed my newest and only friend.
"Edward, I'm sorry. I have plans." I said wistfully, the buoyant smile had fully left my face with the words I had to say to him. I looked at my feet again. This time, however, it was in disappointment rather than rapture.
"Oh." His smile faltered and his delightful eyes left my face. He slowly let go of my hand and his expression changed. Was he mad? No… that wasn't it. He looked as if he had been rejected? Rejected? Ha! Surely, this god-like man didn't believe I was rejecting him?! I thought incredulously. I don't think it's possible for anyone to not want him.
"No worries. I …just wanted to… uh- make up for the whole… collision." He looked away, looking for an escape.
"Maybe another time?" It came out almost as a plea. I had wanted to show him that it was honestly just bad timing. He didn't say anything, but the red in his cheeks were back. He looked into my eyes once more, searching for something, and started to turn to walk away. No! What did he see that made him walk away? I had blown it. I had blown the only half-chance that this divine man had almost given me, would ever give me. I was pained by the thought.
"Edward, please, wait..." I pleaded in a soft voice. I found that my hand had automatically risen itself, reaching out for him. My skin was practically crying for his contact again. He looked back at me when I said his name with a new, beautiful emotion locked in.
"I've got plans tonight, though I'm free tomorrow? I'd really like to get a rain check?" Oh, please give me another chance! Why would he give me another chance? Look at him! He could have anyone on this campus and here I am saying, 'Sure, maybe later'. I'm insane. Alice would understand, right?
"Or maybe… I could reschedule tonight? She would totally understand." I gave him a timid smile. The proverbial ball was now in his court.
His eyes brightened into something wonderful, hopeful, and almost excited. The left side of his face pulled up a little. But just as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. His expression changed. The disappointment and rejection was back. Once again, he reminded me of the little boy who lost his toy.
"It's fine. I shouldn't make you change your plans." He said looking down. Then offhandedly added, "To be honest, I was trying to get out of a family dinner of sorts." He was looking past me now, suddenly very interested in something going on behind me. I felt my hopeful expression fall.
Ouch. Really? That's the only reason why? I wanted to ask him. But my subconscious quickly answered for him: Of course, that's why Bella. Look at you. The only reason why he started talking to you in the first place was because you tackled him to the ground.
Just then, Hedwig's theme went off from my phone.
That must be Alice. Suddenly, my time with him was cut short. I could ignore it… it could be possible that class wasn't out quite yet.
I looked up at him. I don't know what I was looking for really… I guess anything that would say that would tell me what he was thinking. He wasn't looking at me any longer. His eyes were trained on what looked like a little house. I couldn't quite place his expression but his eyebrows were crunched and it looked as if he were biting the inside of his cheek. Hands shoved his deep into his pockets; he let out a breath, nodded almost infinitesimally, and turned to face me. His lips were parted and he looked as if he were about to say something.
The bells went off as my phone rang again. This time, I actually groaned out loud. Go. Away.
"I guess I should take this…" I trailed off, hoping he'd change his mind and give me the best night of my life.
No such luck.
"Sure... I'll see you in class, Bella." he said softly, wistfully.
"I'll see you Edward. I'm sorry again… for running into you." I blushed as my eyes met his, feeling wistful as well.
Gorgeous. Why does he have to be so gorgeous?
I would gladly run into him any day. He gave me a small, slightly dejected smile and walked quickly out of sight. I let out a miserable sigh before I flipped my phone open to find out what was keeping me away from Edward tonight.
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Alice had insisted that she come to my apartment to get us ready. I started to give her directions and she interrupted, saying she knew exactly where it was.
I didn't think anything about her coming here until she walked in and started to look around. Suddenly, I was embarrassed that I hadn't finished unpacking.
"You just moved in?" she appraised as she gave herself the tour, with my lagging behind her.
"Yep. I think I've been here couple of weeks." I answered trying not to sound uncomfortable.
"Great!" she smiled. She stopped and turned to face me. "I can help you unpack and decorate, if you want. Did I tell you I'm going into interior design and fashion? We can paint and get some shades. The sun here is brutal, these shades won't hide the morning sun…" she eagerly looked around the bare living room, coming up with ideas I'm sure.
"That'd be brilliant, Alice. Thanks!" Thank God. It'd be easier to unpack the pictures with a distraction. Maybe this apartment won't be so barren after all.
With that, she got to work on me. She picked out something from my closet and asked if I had ever straightened my hair. I looked at her confused.
"Alice, my hair is already straight."
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After what seemed like hours later, we were in my mustang, pulling into a parking spot in the front of a restaurant called Oregano's.
"I'm so excited for you to meet everyone! Bella, they're so eager to meet you." She mumbled something else about a "he", but I didn't quite catch it so I blew it off.
"Yeah, I bet. So far, I have a great track record with your friends." I mumbled gloomily, still bummed about my should-be dinner plans with the angel of Arizona State.
"Oh, Mike-schmike! Don't worry about him. He just saw how insanely beautiful were and got jealous. I think he may have even had a straight moment," she winked with a mischievous grin plastered on her face.
"Besides, you did great with Jasper," she smiled widely at his name.
We were the first of the group to arrive. I stood off to the side twisting my ring around my finger (a habit I developed immediately after Renee had given me this ring) as Alice talked to the hostess as if they knew each other. I watched as Alice slipped the girl a bill and asked if we could be seated right away. The girl looked at her skeptically and told Alice the house policy. It was something about waiting for everyone in the party to be present before being seated. Alice interrupted her gently, reminding her of a favor the girl supposedly owed her.
The girls' eyes widened and she bit her lip, looking around, as if to check if the coast was clear.
"Fine, but this is the first and last time I do this for you, Alice Brandon!" she said, quickly in a low tone.
"Thanks, Heidi!" Alice chirped, smiling triumphantly. "You know the rest of the group, they'll be here any minute."
Heidi led us over to a round table in a corner and told us our waitress, Tanya, would be with us soon. As Heidi left, I saw a slight smirk on her face at Alice's slight intake of breath at the waitresses name. However, before I even thought to breach the subject, Alice herded me into the chair that sat directly in the corner.
"You had your chance. There's no escaping now," she joked, trying to hide her seriousness, as she sat down on my left side. Successfully trapping me like an animal into the corner.
Would I need to escape? Did she think this would be unpleasant for me? I tried to push these slightly frightening thoughts away and gave her an unsure smile.
Jasper was the first to arrive. He kissed Alice on the cheek as he sat down on the other side of her small frame; he looked up smiled widely at me.
"I see you survived Alice's crash course to getting ready?" he chuckled. I smiled kindly; still nervous from the odd comment Alice had made, nodded, and let them fall into another hushed conversation. They really do this a lot. Maybethat's what you do in relationships. Whisper.
Hmmm… I wouldn't mind whispering to Edw… stop it! No more thinking of him tonight, missy. I frowned slightly as I scolded myself.
"Jazz, where is he? He was supposed to be with you. You said he was coming!! He is coming, isn't he?" Alice asked, sounding a little more than miffed.
"Calm down, Al. Yes. He'll be here. Emmett and Rose sent me ahead. Emmett is quite literally dragging him here as we speak." He laughed and leaned in closer to her. Again, in a poor attempt to whisper, he continued in a low voice "He seriously tried to get out of it. He claims he's met someone and he's insisting that he wants no one else. He said that this would be a ridiculous waste of time."
They both glanced up at me. Jasper looked a bit unsure, but Alice was convinced.
"Well, won't he be surprised." Alice whispered back and grinned impishly.
I suddenly understood how this could be unpleasant. It was a set-up. With a boy.
She just met me! Literally, only hours ago I accidentally humiliated a love-sick Mike who failed to woo his … his …what was his name… and now she's putting me up with some guy?!
Oh god.
I said no to him for this. I felt my brow smush together and I felt as if my face had drained.
I couldn't spend time with Edward, because I was being set-up with another guy? My hands contracted into fists and the spot on my right hand… the hand held by Edward seemed to burn. I turned to Alice with my eyes squinted in irritation.
No. Squinted in rage.
Before I could say anything, a very pretty, overly curvy waitress came up to our table and introduced herself as Tanya. I watched as Alice clenched her jaw slightly at the "stealthily" evaluated Jasper as a small smirk flashed across her plump lips. This didn't go as unnoticed by Alice as it did Jasper.
Good. I thought nastily. At least I'm not the only one annoyed, now.
She flipped her strawberry-blonde hair over her shoulder and leaned across the table, effectively giving Jasper quite the view of her large chest. Biting the tip of her pen, she asked Jasper for his drink order. He asked for a water with lime, not even looking up from his menu. Good man, Jasper. Tanya then looked at me with a look of total disinterest as I asked for a coke. When the orders got around to Alice, who seemed to be deliberately asked last, ordered a "red-headed slut" with quite a bit of venom in her voice. I felt my eyes go large and I glanced over at Alice, whose ears were steadily turning pink. Tanya looked as if she were about to ask for ID when Jasper stopped her, ordering another water, but with no lime. She had obviously missed the punch line. Tanya winked at him and left to fill our order with an extra sway in her step. A look of understanding graced Jaspers' face. I tried to muffle my laughs when I started to giggle softly at the realization on his face, afraid that Alice's anger might get pushed onto me. Luckily, Alice's stony glare softened when she too saw Jaspers face and she started to giggle with me.
"God, she is such a skeeze." Alice said under her breath. "Heidi is going to – "
"Emmett, there really isn't any point to this… OUCH! Let go of me. Rose! Tell him to let go!" a livid, strained voice met my ears, efficiently cutting off Alice.
"Uh oh. They're here. He's not happy." Alice started bopping her knee as if she were nervous. Jasper murmured his I-told-you-so's and the pixie shot him a look of displeasure.
"Eddie, just shut up and walk. You're getting a free meal out of this, if nothing else," a robust voice answered his plea.
So there was no escape for him, either. He was being set-up and he was no happier about it than I was. At least I didn't have to put forth effort. I secretly smiled at the thought of who I'd put in effort for. I looked up and was quite shocked to see that very person being dragged by a burly monster towards our table.
"Alice! What did you say Jaspers' brothers' name was?" I asked, slightly panicked.
"Edward." She said looking in my eye, evaluating my reaction to him. She must have seen something she liked in what I thought was an uneasy expression because she started smiling brilliantly. I looked to Jasper for help.
"Hey, Edward," he called out, "you're seating over here. Right next to our new friend, Bella," Jasper said as if his brother wasn't being hauled in by an enormous sack of muscles. Yeah, thanks for the help, jerk.
Edward stopped resisting and looked up with an irked expression at his older brother when Jasper had said my name.
"Yeah, Jazz, that's fuckin-" His venomous voice was immediately frozen the instant his eyes met mine. His eyes grew wide and his glorious face paled before his cheeks suddenly burned bright.
"Shit." He swore as he closed his eyes. I kept my eyes locked on him. I couldn't look away. I could feel Alice's eyes boring into my skin. I felt others staring at me also, but my eyes saw nothing but him.
"Are you… Are you blushing, Edward?" the leggy blonde, Rosalie, next to him asked sounding a little startled.
"Well, well Rosie. Look at that," Emmett said softly. "He meant it."
Meant what?
Edward's beautiful face snapped to lock his eyes with the giants'. "Emmett. For the love of God!
For once. Shut. Your. Mouth." he snarled. He looked almost lethal. Even murderously angry, he looked perfect. Like a god. Terrible power and overwhelming beauty all wrapped up together.
Alice thought this would work? That he would be interested in me? Wait… Jasper had said he had met someone. Why did she keep this going after Jasper had said he found someone? Edward's earlier reservations were right. This was pointless. It was cruel.
I broke my stare from the desire of my eyes and I forced myself to look at Alice, seeing for the first time a timid, almost nervous expression that she was watching me with. She was weighing my reaction to him. My eyes tightened once more.
How could she throw her friends into this? How could she throw a relative stranger into this situation? Just a group dinner, that's one thing. But a blind date was vastly different. Especially one where only one participant knows and said participant doesn't want to participate.
Edward. The beautiful one who I couldn't extract from my head if I wanted to. The one I had unceremoniously taken down while running away from a creeper. The one that made me blush and that blushed in return. The one who I had instantly been taken with. The one with the smoldering eyes and the hair I wanted to touch. The one that refused Mike's numerous, very disturbing advances. The one Alice had grown up with and loved as a brother. The one from all her stories. The one who I had turned down, just a couple of hours ago and I spoiled my half-chance with in order to be shoved into this very situation. The one who was currently being shoved my way.
Emmett pushed Edward into the corner with me and sat down, successfully blocking the other exit. We were both stuck. Like caged animals. I had heard Jasper mention, when I "wasn't listening" that Edward didn't want to be here. That he wanted someone else. This could only hurt me. This would be a disaster.
…A disaster with a nice view.
My face was hot, as it had been since I saw him locked in Emmett's iron-like grasp. My eyes darted to his face without my permission. His face was down, toward his lap, his eyes were closed, and it looked as if he was pinching the bridge of his nose. Was he mad or trying to get a hold of himself? He could get a hold of me if he wants… I took in a deep breath in an attempt to divert my current thoughts and calm myself. That turned out to be a bad idea. He smelled good. Even from my very separate, distant chair.
Jasper introduced me to Rose and Emmett. Rosalie smiled but she was sizing me up and looking doubtful, but Emmett on the other hand, accepted me almost as immediately and fully as Alice had. He actually pushed Edward into me while he bounded over to give me a bear hug. Rosalie grabbed his polo shirt before he had gotten to me and pulled him back to his seat. Emmett complained for a short second while Edward and I both readjusted ourselves in our chairs. I, once again, found myself missing his body being forced against mine. The strange, electrical pulse from earlier was back and if felt like you could cut the air between the two of us. God, this is awkward.
"Bella, I'd like you to met my friend, Edward Masen. Edward, this is Bella Swan." Alice spoke up. I looked at his face, straight forward while Edward glared past me at both Alice and Jasper, his jaw clenching and unclenching. His eyes darted to mine and softened. Quickly, I looked away, feeling a new wave of blush hit my face as he took me in.
"It's nice to meet you, Bella." he said in a low, attractive voice.
"I think the pleasure's all mine." I said quietly as I stared holes into my empty plate.
I glanced around the restaurant, slyly taking in the others at the table, but partly just trying to look anywhere but him. Rosalie looked slightly miffed, Emmett was pouting while his eyes flashed between Edward and me, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jasper take a worried look at Alice, but she just returned his gaze with a reassuring smile.
What used to be chapters 2 and 3 are now combined. I think it flows a bit better. More detail has been added, stupid things have been taken out. There's an ASU map on my front page if you're curious.
I hope you enjoy it. I'm working hard to edit the next chapter so I can hurry up and write the rest for you. Let me know what you think.
Thanks so much :) Happy Saint Patricks day!!!