Chapter 3

Tuesday and Friday, August 26th (continued) and 27th:

He was beautiful and so very close to me. He smelled of sunshine and grass and something else I couldn't quite make out. Whatever it was though was absolutely perfect. I could feel the heat from his pale skin radiating onto my arm. Our chairs were smushed together and we were shoved into an almost intimate arrangement. One that was normally unacceptable for strangers. However, Emmett had made a big fuss about how Edward was making him feel claustrophobic. I had tried to scoot over in order to give him more room, but Alice's chair seemed to be glued to the spot. I wanted to give him his space. I didn't want him to feel any more uncomfortable than he already was. The whole situation was awkward so I continued to stare into my empty plate and he remained silent.

Luckily, Tanya had finally returned for the rest of the order, giving us a reprieve from the tight silence we had all been sitting in. Thankful for the distraction, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Buck up, Chicken. My dad's voice sounded like he was actually in the room speaking these words to me. I smiled at the phrase and exhaled. I opened my eyes feeling a little refreshed and decided that it didn't matter that this was insanely awkward. I could try to make the best of it… maybe we could team up and try to have fun. It didn't matter that this god didn't want me. He had been nice to me earlier. After this dinner, I would go about my life having met new people and he could go on with his, being with the one he wanted.

And we would just be friends.

I bit back the frown that was threatening the corners of my lips and made the choice to break my lingering stare from my plate. I was mentally ready for the night. I was ready smile. I was ready to laugh. I was ready to make new friends. I was ready to open my mouth and make a light side note to Edward, showing him that the night would go quicker if we tried to make the best of it.

What I was not ready for was seeing Tanya shoving herself into the ridiculously small corner with Edward and I, flirting shamelessly with him. This unambiguous act was far worse than her smirk at Jasper; poor Edward looked as if he had been marked as prey. Although Tanya's attempts were very obviously one-way, the way she was acting was considered rude… at least it was where I come from.

Her body was leaning towards Edward, who was forcing his body to lean into mine in attempt to maintain some of his important personal space while consequently completely ignoring mine. His face looked as if it were fighting to stay polite. The slight frown that had been on his face since before he entered the restaurant had deepened, but I'm not sure that anyone else had noticed. His eyes looked slightly panicked as he peeked around the table, pleading for anyone to save him from the top-heavy waitress who looked like she was about to eat him as a snack. I was shocked to see that no one batted an eye at Edwards' discomfort.

Suddenly, a spurt of homesickness shot all the way through my body. Is this how people treat others in this state?

"Well, what's your name, sugar?" asked an unattractive, fake Southern accent. The sound made my head snap to look at her. I was just in time to witness her over-sized breasts being smashed into his arm. White heat flickered just under my skin and I was overwhelmingly irritated at her. My anger, though, was not directed at her horrible attempt at an accent as it probably should have been. She was, after all, vocally disfiguring my heritage with the worst attempt of seduction ever. No. My anger was flaring due to the fact she was shoving her ridiculously comical fake chest into a poor, obviously horrified males face.

Normally, I would have been shocked that I found myself far more offended by her attempt to entice him than the butchering of my heritage. But there was something pure about Edward. There was something about him that I wanted to defend.

I felt my fists as they clenched convulsively as she drew even closer to him even though his face clearly showed the evidence that he wanted no part in it.

"I… uh. I'm –" he stammered still searching for the help that didn't seem to be coming. Why wouldn't they help their friend and brother out? Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were desperately trying to hold their laughter in. Alice, on the other hand, simply looked at me with a cocked eyebrow, as if she were waiting for my next move. Waiting to see what I would do. I clenched my jaw, angry that they would let their friend suffer.

Luckily, I was fairly literate in awkward situations. Thanks to my dad and Jacob, I had learned to be quick on my toes and witty enough to hold my own… at least I was witty back home. But wasn't sure if that meant anything here. I quickly looked into the menu and ran my hand through his silken hair to get his attention. Cassie, a good friend from high school had given me many impromptu lessons on how to get attention from males. If I had learned anything from Cassie's many drabbles on "How to Woo a Man", playing with his hair was an intimate thing. It supposedly drove men (definition of "men" for Cassie: the boys in our high school) crazy "in the best way possible".

Carefully and slowly, I walked my fingers up to where his bronze strands met the collar of his shirt. Lightly twirling his hair through my fingers, I reached my other arm to meet his hand that was gripping the back of his chair. I rested my small, white hand on top of his and rubbed my thumb against the back of his large, pale hand.

"Edward." I let his name reverently roll off my tongue in a poor version of the velvety voice from earlier in the day. He quickly turned to face me with a look of grateful surprise, obviously not expecting me to be the one to help him out as we hadn't spoken a single word to each other since Alice had "introduced" us. I tried to remain calm as I realized how incredibly close his face was to mine. I tried not to thank Tanya for crowding him so much that his lips were within reach. I couldn't, however, hold the smile back that his faces closeness had caused, nor could I hold back the quick trip my eyes took to his lips. I continued to play with his bronze strands and hold his hand as I fabricated my story out loud.

"Sugar," I looked up at Tanya to make sure she heard before looking back at Edward, continuing my con. "Before we go all the way home, I think we should get a pizzookie again?" I watched his face carefully. His right eyebrow raised, but his face remained pleasant. I was thankful he was allowing me to try to help. As I closed the distance between us, I prayed that he wouldn't mind this next little bit.

"Do you remember last time you brought one home? You looked absolutely delicious with ice cream and chocolate spread all over you …" I trailed off suggestively, blushing at what I was implying. Slightly leaning into him, my hand moved down from his hair lightly tracing his perfect jaw line and trailing his neck, to fix his already straight collar, trying to not only convince bimbo over there of a lie to get her to back off but also for him to play along. For good measure, I stared at him from under my lashes and bit my lip (another trick I had heard from Cassie), hoping he would understand without words. My blush started to warm my face as I replayed the words that had come out of my mouth. I had literally just implied to a stranger, in front of his family and closest friends, that we have had sex. Not just regular sex, either. Sex that involved ice cream and a half baked cookie being smothered all over Edward's gorgeous, pale bod- Focus, Bella!!

I shiver ran down my spine at the picture I was trying to force out of my head. I managed to stay in character and maintain eye contact as I watched his bright green eyes darkened as he stared back at me. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine and I felt my underwear become moist. FOCUS! My blush grew as he lifted his hand up to my face, cupping my cheek as naturally as he had done it a hundred times. I leaned in, as any lover would, and reveled in his gentle touch. I was rather excited at the prospect that we would have to keep these pretenses up every time Tanya appeared. Prayers started forming in my mind, asking God that she would be here quite often. I did, however, have to push away the thought of how this little game of ours could potentially hurt me.

"My love, can I ever say no to you? Whatever you want… however you want… it's yours." His eyes were filled with want and his reply was playful and loving. And he said it just loud enough for skankzilla to hear.

God, he's good.

He was the perfect actor, performing with feeling and intensity that left me in awe. He left me wanting more, as always. To my surprise, he didn't stop there. He closed the gap between us with pink cheeks and grazed his nose along my jaw line. My breath caught and I was dizzy with his closeness, his smell, and his warmth. There was a quiet "mmmm" sound that rose from between us. I couldn't be sure, but I was almost positive it wasn't from me. I closed my eyes in pleasure. It would have been the perfect move for our façade, but only I had to know that it wasn't just for show. Once he got up to my ear, he breathed something to me. I strained to hear.

"You're all I've ever wanted." He had whispered so low that I could barely make it out, but I was quite positive that's what he said.

My eyes shot open. Suddenly, the moment was real. We were no longer playing to shoo- away in response to an unwanted advance.

Jasper cleared his throat to let us know Tanya and her chest had gone. Edward detached his hand and straightened up, immediately breaking our eye contact. He went back to doing exactly what he had been before. Staring into his plate, not saying a word, face paled, and chewing on the inside of his lip. I, on the other hand, took longer to get out of character. I blinked a few times, attempted to rid myself of my flushed cheeks, wanted to forget how his hand felt on my face, wanted to forget those incredible fake words he said, and tried to steady my breathing.

It was a show that you initiated. I reminded myself, angry that moisture was now building in my eyes. It was a show that felt entirely too real.

My pride was starting to hurt and I wasn't about to stop it. I had just humiliated myself for him. I had just implied slightly disgusting things in front of people he had known his whole life… there was no "thank you", there wasn't even a smile. Just back to ignoring. Today had been like a rollercoaster with him and his mood swings were giving me whiplash. He was so beautiful and good one minute, acting like he wanted to be near me, acting as if he wanted me; then suddenly cold and detached, ignoring my existence the next. I couldn't keep up, but I wanted to and I had tried. Those words he said to me, the way he said them. I had actually believed the pretense because it honestly sounded as if he meant them. And if he didn't, why would he say it so only I could hear it? If he was simply pretending to be whispering sweet-nothings in my ear to keep up the pretense, he could have just prattled on about the weather. Not string me along like some puppy, begging for a bone. I didn't need this. I didn't have to do this. Fuck being friends. Who needs friends anyway?! The anger was steadily rising with my blush and I needed to get out.

I stood and turned to Alice, looking for a getaway. She sat in her chair, suddenly very interested in a text-message. I glared for half a minute and then turned towards Edward. His chair was empty. Good, maybe he'll be cornered by Tanya. I thought, disgusted by the whole situation.

I stormed out without another word to anyone. I got to my car and wrenched the door open. I fought angry tears the whole way home. Within no time, I was back in my bare apartment with stupid tears still falling down my face. My anger hadn't fizzled out but the day had worn me down into pathetic sniffles and pitiful thoughts of home. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to wake up from a stupid dream in my bedroom in Arkansas. I wanted my dad to smile over the paper at me in the morning, allowing me to grumble about it being too early and him being too chipper. I wanted to go to Wal-Mart when I was bored, I wanted to walk in the woods, I wanted to live in a place where I didn't have to worry if I had locked my front door.

I woke up the next morning in my bed. My pillow was damp and my eyelids were heavy. I had apparently cried myself to sleep for the first time in a few months. As I dragged myself into the bathroom to shower, the events of the previous night began to replay. I leaned against the shower wall and slid down until I was sitting. With my head in my hands, I cursed my luck. I cursed the situation. I cursed stupid Tanya and her stupid flirting ways. I cursed Alice for forcing me to go. I cursed Edward for being able to have this effect of me. I cursed myself for trying to help someone out and being effected. I cursed Edward again, just because. I cursed Arizona for being hot, and stupid, and dry. I curse...

UGH! Just get over it, Bella!

I felt my jaw clench in determination and slowly I stood back up to finish my shower. Some boy wasn't going to ruin another one of my days because he wasn't available for me. Boys had never had this effect on me before, what the hell gives him the right to make me feel like this now? Who the fuck does he think he is?

When I stepped out of the shower, I was done with the whole situation. I didn't care and I wasn't going to worry about it another second longer. I could drop the class he was in and I could continue my first semester at Arizona State without another thought of that pompous asshole.

****

My phone beeped again. Informing me of yet another text message from Alice. She had stopped calling around noon and now was sending me a text every 10 minutes on the dot. I hadn't bothered to check them yet, but I was getting curious as to what they said. It didn't really matter. It was a total shit thing that she did, forcing her life-long friend and someone she had barely even known into a horrendous situation.

Half an hour later, I cracked. I looked at some of the texts. I have to admit, some of them were pretty funny. She had apparently stopped apologizing around one when she started to describe how Tanya treated Edward the rest of the night after his "knight-ette in shining armor" vanished into thin air. I have to admit, the one when Tanya brought him a pizzokie at the end of the night along with her phone number was pretty much the best thing I had ever heard. Still, I wasn't planning on answering her just yet.

Of course, I hadn't counted on her knocking on my door.

She flitted into my living room, carrying a large box of donuts.

"These would have been better if you had answered your phone at 6 this morning. Donuts that have been sitting out for the last 10 hours aren't as good as they are fresh." She said happily. I just stared at her, not sure what to say.

"Oh Bella." She sighed. "I'm not sure where to start. I don't want you to think that we're normally like that. Last night was tense and awkward. Edwa-" I stopped her, cutting her off.

"Tense and awkward?" I nearly shrieked. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Channelling my anger, I began to pace the small space in front of the sofa. "Alice, how could you do that? You don't know me! How could you put me in a position like that? How do you know I don't have a boyfriend or fiancé back home? How do you know I'm not a lesbian? How do you kn-"

"Bella, sweetie, it's just obvious. I don't mean to sound rude, but I was in your apartment yesterday. I was around you for several hours, there's no ring on your finger, there aren't any pictures around the apartment. And to be honest, the second I saw you, I knew you the right one for Edward. He may seem like a major dick to you right now, and believe me, he won't live that down for the rest of his life. But he's not usually like that.. outside of Mike. He's worse with Mike," she paused to giggle. "He's actually a really great guy, he just… needs a push now and again."

"Have you ever thought that he doesn't want a push?" my voice was much louder than I had originally wanted it to be. I saw Alice's blue eyes widen. "Or maybe you should push him into someone who he wants to be pushed into? And not someone you just met? Dammit, Alice! I had already embarrassed myself in front of him yesterday without your help." I finally sat down next to her. I had calmed myself, but with the mention of the events before dinner, I felt my face redden again. I was longing for the run in again, the feel of his body against mine, wondering what would have happened had I just said 'yes' to him and called to cancel with Alice. It surely wouldn't have been as disasterous. Even if he didn't want me, we probably could have easily been friends.

"Yesterday? Before dinner, you mean?" Alice's voice was curious.

"Yeah… I sort of mowed him down." I said meekly. I looked over to Alice and noticed the strange look on her face.

"So you had seen Edward before?"

"Mmhmm. A couple of times actually. He's in one of my classes." I didn't add that I was planning on dropping the class to her. I didn't want her to attempt to talk me out of it. She continued to look perplexed.

"Bella, can I make last night up to you?" she asked quietly. Her voice was timid, there was no confidence in it as there had been yesterday when she had invited me to coffee, or dinner. She was actually leaving it up for me to decide, not just assuming that I'd agree.

"I know the start we had as friends wasn't ideal. But like I told you earlier, we aren't normally like this. I'm really sorry about the way things turned out. I can see us being great friends and I don't want to lose you because of a stupid stunt that upset you." I studied her face. She looked sincere. And although she could be a little overwhelming, we did have fun together before dinner. I could see us being good friends, too.

"Sure, Alice. All's forgiven." I said, trying to give her a smile. Her returning grin was grateful and bright.

"So, what's your favorite movie?" she asked, getting up to look at my movie collection.

Several Harry Potter movies later, Alice stood. Stretching her small frame and topping it off with a yawn, she bid me goodnight with the promise of calling me the next afternoon and then she was gone.

Between Potter movies, we had discussed quite a lot. I was no longer going to drop a class just because of the situation with Edward. I figured if I was to be friends with Alice, we would have to be around each other. I tried to steer clear of home, just to avoid a long, drawn out talk that I wasn't really sure I was ready for yet. But she now knew of my run-ins with Edward, my basic favorites, and my awful fear of needles. I knew that she had accidentally caught fire to the Masen's cat when she was 8 due to a dare, she enjoyed painting, and her never-ending quest to set Edward up. Though, I had made her promise to never make me the set-up-ee again, there was something in her eyes when she swore to it... as if she were trying to find a loop-hole through the promise already.

I, too, got up and stretched. I picked up the mugs that had held our Ramen and put them in the sink. I locked the door and walked into the spare room. It was just my laptop and I on a Friday night. I quickly checked my email and scanned over some of the homework that I had for Monday morning. I played around on Facebook for a bit and saw that Alice had requested to be my friend. I flipped to her page, curious as to what all she had.

Thousands of pictures. Vacations, recitals, graduations, parties, and so many more. I scanned through the titles of the books and clicked on the ones that held my interest.

She was right. In every set of pictures, everyone was present. Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and Edward. In every picture of the group of them, the couples were all paired up and Edward always had the same expression. Not quite happy, but not sad. Just a small half-smile.

As the dates went further back, the pictures became more humorous and less paired up. There was a pre-pubesant looking Emmett wearing a curly blonde wig and a light pink dress striking a hilarious pose. A scrawny looking Jasper with his lanky arm around his twin sister, Rosalie. A very awkward looking Alice and Edward looking away from each other.

My phone vibrated alerting me of a call and allowing me to finally looking away from a very handsome picture of a sweaty Edward, focused intently at the soccer ball above his head. I may not appreciate his attitude, but I could sure appreciate his face. Checking the time quickly, I saw that it was 12:49.

Who would call me this late? Surely Alice didn't have anything else she had to say to me tonight? She would wait for tomorrow… right? No one in Arkansas would be calling now with the time difference.

My phone had started on another vibration spree when I had finally reached it. I didn't recognize the number, so I didn't answer. I should be asleep anyway. If it was important, they'd leave a message. I walked back to my bedroom and got ready for bed. Before cuddling into my sheets, I checked the phone again to see if there was in fact a message waiting for me. No new voice mails. It was probably a wrong number.

Oh goodness. Things have changed. In the story and in life.

First of all, thank you for your patience and words of encouragement. I'm glad you guys are still reading and waiting to hear what happens next.

Second of all, things in my life got super chaotic. There was death and school. It hasn't been a good spring, but summer is now here in Phoenix, which means theres lots of time for me not to be outside. Lots of time for me not to be doing anything else but writing.

I hope you like the changes. I hope it's not as rushed as it was before. I'm excited and I really hope you are, too.

Thanks and plan to hear from me sooner... hopefully :)