DISCLAIMER: Please see all previous; no ownership, no profits made.
A/N: I had intended a more substantive chapter of this story as my contribution to the Pulse Day Update Posting Challenge developed on BBWW – it seemed there were more requests for updates in this story than my other unfinished fic. I appreciate the interest, everyone.
But RL and other things got in the way and this isn't what I'd hoped to have. I'm really sorry – I hope to do a better version within the next coming weeks and will either take this down and put up what I hope will be an improved version, or will try to supplement soon. I especially want to apologize to those on BBWW who managed to get their done – sorry to let you down, guys – you've done a great job at bringing back M/L to the front page.
CRASH 11:13 p.m.
Max took a shot, and stood back to watch her ball spin across the balding green surface of the pool table, knocking a couple of the striped balls further from the table's pockets, but not dropping into the pocket quite yet, either. She wasn't in the mood for this, but wasn't in the mood for much of anything these days. Her thoughts were on Logan. Logan, and his latest drama. Logan ... and his distance ... Logan ... and her complete lack of inspiration how to break through.
Maybe that's it ... maybe there is no breaking though. Maybe if I stop pushing, he'll work through whatever it is and we can just get back to things, as they were. Or ... maybe I'll get over it all and just get on with my life...
...like maybe he already has.
Max barely reacted to the men's grunted celebration at having the table back as she glanced around Crash, registering with distracted disinterest her long familiar hangout. The place was its usual noisy, humid, grungy place, her friends engaged in their usual brainless banter, and she was suddenly acutely aware, once again, that there was no Logan waiting for her to escape for a game of chess or a half-way intelligent discussion...
"Boo, if he's got you so far down in the dumps, just go talk to the boy." Original Cindy sided up to her, a new determination coloring her previously offered suggestion. "All this mopin' ain't doin' neither of you no good and ain't gettin' anything settled..."
Max drew a breath to argue that he had nothing to do with anything, but quickly realized how lame it would sound – and how she just didn't have the energy to argue something that Cindy already saw through. "He hasn't exactly been around to talk," Max muttered.
"Since when have you let something like that stop you? You know where to find him..."
"He's been busy. With a special friend of yours," Max added, her tone a new mix for her of irritation and – Cindy could swear – jilted, hurt lover. "Guess she decided to come back to mixed doubles after having her fill of the all-girl team."
"Hey – " Original Cindy turned to face Max full on and stepped close, an honest irritation emerging now. "I thought we went through this before. I ain't buying that Daphne is swingin' the other way, and I don't know if Rich Boy is cold or distant or whatever you said he's been." Cindy kept her voice low enough that the others wouldn't overhear, but she had no problem getting her point across. "I don't know what's up with you or him or Daphne and I am just about done givin' a rats ass about any of it." Her words were sharp and direct and working their way through Max's bruised emotions. "But you are making yourself and everyone around you crazy because your boy ain't callin' you no more and you won't do one thing to get face to face with him on it. Boo, you can mope all you want or you can snap at me, but ain't nothin' gonna fix things with Logan except talkin' it out with Logan."
"And what if he's decided..." Max blurted then stopped, realizing why this time it was so different, why with Logan she felt all the emotion she'd never thought to waste on any of the guys she'd known before. "Cindy ... what if he's decided that ... that having somebody hanging around him who was built by hand is just is a little too creepy and..."
"Max, that's bullshit, and you know it!" Cindy interrupted forcefully. "I've seen how he looks at you..."
"Yeah? Well, me too, and that look has been way different in the past couple weeks." Max snapped back at her friend – and then, as if she suddenly heard the words herself, her expression shifted, and Cindy saw a hurt, lonely woman in fear of losing – what? Her first real love? Max's eyes looked into Original Cindy's, long, and shifted from defensiveness and frustration to hurt. "And..." she managed to pick up her words, "...and I don't think talking now will do anything but make things worse..."
Cindy's expression changed too, to a look of sympathy and understanding. "It might hurt, Boo, an' that's a fact. And you may be right – it may make things worse. But nothin' else is gonna give you your answers other than gettin' with Logan to find out what's goin' on with him. And that's gotta be better what you been workin' through here lately – isn't it?"
Max didn't answer.
With a sigh, Cindy came close to bump Max with her hip and loop an arm around her friend, saying nothing more. They stood silently for a few minutes, watching the others, until the table was passed back to them and, with an apologetic shrug, Cindy moved her off to take her turn.
Looking back to her friends, not really seeing them, Max frowned as she reconsidered those thoughts that had just arisen, recalling in the weeks after Ben how Logan looked at her as if he somehow knew it all, knew her for the killer she'd been made to be. If ever he was going to move on and away from her, it was now – his assessment of her ... his return to the world of Cale Industries and yacht clubs ...
... and Daphne ...
As Sketchy finally lined up his shot, the tales of his latest scam eliciting groans from his long-suffering friends, Max looked away from the table, her mind still over in Sector 9 and on the mess that had her at odds with Logan. Without thinking about it, in long-practiced habit, she scanned the crowd unconsciously ...
...and gasped involuntarily when she saw, across the room, the very familiar, determined gaze of her brother Zack as he sat at the bar and waited for her to see him...
FOGEL TOWERS PENTHOUSE 10:13 p.m.
Bling had worked in silence as he ran through Logan's late night ROM. In recent weeks their therapy sessions had been less frequent, and few words passed between them. Lately Bling's charge had been quieter, brooding, even secretive – and no amount of cajoling or lecturing would get Logan to let him in. Bling had been worried but realized that for the present, maybe the best he could hope for were these three or four sessions a week, when he could at least keep an eye on the man and be there when he was ready to open up.
And Bling sensed that tonight, despite the silence, something was on his mind. In the set of Logan's shoulders, the tension in his jaw...
It wasn't long before he spoke. "Look, Bling, you shouldn't have to come out so late. My schedule is hectic anyway, and it's not fair to you to make you accommodate..."
"Not a problem," the therapist countered smoothly, knowing precisely where this was headed. "So I start my days later, too."
"But it will be worse in the next couple weeks, and after – we're working on a new project... I don't know when I'll be here. And anyway – it's been how long now? We both know I can do this on my own."
"And I know you don't pay me to be your mother," the trainer worked steadily as he spoke, not breaking stride, " but we both know you won't keep up your ROMs – or keep an eye on your health – if someone isn't here to pester you."
"So you can call. Besides – if you take over Eyes Only, you won't have time."
That one caught Bling fully by surprise.
Logan saw the man react to that, and before Bling could start the inevitable protests – or questions – he continued, "same salary? Or – maybe you need a raise; I'll do what I can to manage that. My accountants are still trying to sort out what's what after CI was locked down, but I think we can work something out. Eyes Only needs to keep going, Bling, and I've let other things force it out lately. So..." he looked at his friend, seeing the look of deep concern there. "Interested?"
Bling's eyebrows drew into an even deeper frown as he looked for answers in Logan's face. "From the time you filled me in on everything, nothing has been more important to you than Eyes Only, not your health or your safety ... not even Max, though for a while it seemed as if she might be running neck and neck. I guess that's changed, too." When Logan looked away at his words, Bling knew he was getting close to the bone, and pressed, "and now you're trying to hand off Eyes Only, after pushing Max away..." Logan's small reaction of surprise told Bling that not only was he right, but Logan thought he'd managed to hide what he was doing. Bling just shook his head. "What is all this, man? Did you confirm that it was Manticore involved in all of this, and you're hanging around Cale Industries day and night to ... what? Find out that they're doing? To force them out in the open?" When Logan said nothing, he added, "Whatever it is, you've decided that you need to protect Max in all this – and the best way is to chill her out." Bling laughed humorlessly at the thought, "man, don't you get it? That's just gonna make Max crazy enough to do press even harder, and do some digging of her own."
"No, it won't..." Logan said softly, finality heavy in his voice. "Not this time."
CRASH 11:27 p.m.
Max had mumbled something about heading to the ladies room as she caught Zack's eye and flashed a few terse hand signals to him, telling him there was a safe place to meet in the alley behind the bar. Looking around quickly only once, to see if her friends noticed her slipping outside – or if anything else seemed out of place – Max blended into the crowd and made her way out the back to the dank, dark alley where, none the worse for his last escape and evade, stood her older brother.
"Zack!" she blurred close and, as she had before, the first time she knew who he was, pulled him into a hug. If ever she needed a big brother, even if he was distant and professional, that time was right now. "Screw the 'phony sentimentality' crap, Zack – I'm really glad you're here."
Max felt Zack's arms circle her and return the embrace, still somewhat ambivalently at first, but he finally seemed to relax a little as he brushed his lips across her forehead in a protective kiss. "Okay Max – for you, I withdraw the 'phony' part." He pulled back to take an appraising look, and saw a Max much less settled and centered than he'd last seen her. He frowned slighty. "You okay?" he asked.
"Yeah – sure – always. Just surprised to see you," Max shook herself to smile at her brother, genuinely glad he'd interrupted her obsessing about Logan. "Are you okay? It's got to be something major to bring you back here to Seattle, after everything – is something up?"
"Yeah – it's time to go, Max, and we need you." Her eyes rounded in stunned surprise as Zack's words tumbled from him. "No more running, for any of us. I've got a place now where we'll have protection even from Lydecker – from any of the black ops he can muster – with a government that won't cave in to their demands. It's warm there too, Max," he even laughed, "no more running up to Canada. They'll grant each of us asylum..."
"Asylum?" she echoed, her pleasure in seeing him giving way to concern about what he had planned. "Zack, what are you talking about? Any government that would be willing to take on this one..."
"... will at least leave us alone, if we're remote enough. Look, " he reasoned, "... it's okay – just a neutral place with no reason to suck up to the U.S. We have land, plenty of room and resources... a place to take Brin for reprogramming ... a place that we can get everyone out, and we can be together .. like it was before. We're going to get Krit and Syl, and plan one, last raid on Manticore. We'll get all of us – Tinga and Brin, too, all of us – back together again, where we can finally stop running." He warmed up to his vision for them all. "If we're going to get them out, we need you, Max, we need your help. We'll plan a real rescue op this time, not another one of those on-the-fly assaults. We'll organize and plan, just the way we were trained to do."
"Zack..." Max looked for some sign, looked to see if he was crazy or drugged or if he really had built them a plan that could work. "even if it were possible, I can't just leave Seattle permanently; my home is here now..."
"Max – I know about 'home' for you these days. I did my recon." His eyes flashed cold, knowing that his next words would be the key to this mission – and how much was at stake. "Whatever it was that you had with Cale – it's over." As she sucked in her breath as if struck, he pressed, "face it, Max – whatever the reason – he's moving on, without you in the picture. He's back at his family's company and he's back out on the scene with some other woman – someone not Manticore. Did he ever offer to take you any places like that, Max – or did he just keep you around as a genetically enhanced back-up?"
Zack kept his gaze steady as Max's eyes flashed with anger and something else, something he wasn't sure he'd ever seen before – certainly not in her – a pain that went deep, to the heart of her. And as much as he knew he was doing this for her, for the others – Zack found that the words he had to say to her to get her out of town weren't all that hard to believe. He'd seen the connections and relationships his siblings had tried to forge; had learned more than he ever wanted to know about Manticore and how all the creators and teachers, the trainers and commanders really felt about them all. With all of that – he had never yet fully been willing to believe that what he said about Cale, in these moments – about his true feelings for Max and his real reasons for keeping her close – weren't true...
Even so, Zack felt a moment of guilt for what he did, another layer of anger at Manticore for all they had done, all those who had been pulled into its net through their connections with those Manticore had created. No matter how much Cale used Max for her abilities, there was genuine pain in the man as he schemed to send Max away. Looking at Max now, Zack couldn't deny the heartache he saw in her beautiful, sad eyes. Just because he had not allowed himself to become involved didn't have to mean it was impossible, as nearly all of his siblings had proven...
...but even so: for a man who professed to care for Max, Cale had done a lousy job of showing it, Zack reminded himself brusquely – putting her at risk by getting her involved in his shady projects, whatever the hell they were, by allowing her to return to Seattle when Lydecker was practically waiting at her doorstep. At least now, finally – when it suited his own purpose as well as kept Max safe – Cale was giving Max the boot.
And it was about damn time.
Max had said nothing in the face of his accusations, and Zack knew that, this time, she had little to say to contradict the past few weeks as Cale had carefully cut her from his life. Softening slightly for the hurt she must be feeling, Zack nevertheless went for the kill shot. "You know it's true, Max," he said low, stepping even closer until he practically breathed in her ear. "It's no different than what they did at Manticore – we were made as tools, as functionaries, that's all – and Logan Cale saw that function and skill package and became your new CO – your new Manticore. He found a effective operative in you and took advantage of what you had to offer."
"You're wrong," she breathed, in a harsh, deadly whisper, barely audible. "All the rest, the crap with Daphne and Cale Industries and whatever messed him up when his uncle was killed, all of that, hell, you may be right. But Logan was never like them – ever." Her eyes filled as she felt herself arguing with herself as vehemently as she argued with Zack, realizing her worst fear was that maybe ... maybe ...
She turned and stalked away. Suddenly realizing he might have gone too far, Zack moved to catch up with her. "Max, you can't walk out on Brin and Tinga – the longer we wait, the more..."
"I'm not walking out on them!" She stopped and spun back to face him, her eyes flashing. "I'll go with you tomorrow – but you have to let me have a few hours, maybe ten or twelve, I don't know how much time it will take..."
"Max, we have to go..."
"We'll go. But before we do I need to go see Logan first – I need to decide if I'm going to come back to Seattle after we're done..."
FOGEL TOWERS 12:02 a.m.
Alone again.
As he stared out into the night, his second scotch of the night in hand, Logan reflected on the ties he was severing, all at once, ties with the two people who had been closer to him in the past year than anyone had been in so very long. Bling ... well, Bling would be around, probably, not willing to let too much time go by without checking in. But Bling he could hold at arms' length, could slowly shut him out like an outgrown friend ... he knew he could do it believably. It was cold; it was not something the man deserved, just the opposite – but for his own safety ... even for the good of Eyes Only... it was necessary. And maybe, someday, down the road... well, maybe someday he could explain. The thought made it just a little easier to face.
But Max... What had she said once, that he was the 'lone wolf' type? Had she meant it, or was it all a part of the teasing she'd been doing, when she had first learned about Val, and was determined in her own, taunting way to ferret out the information about his ex-wife? Since then, every once in a while, when he remembered her reaction he pretended that she did so out of a bit of jealousy too, that maybe it bothered her, just a little, to think of him with another woman...
...the way it was killing him to think of her with Zack, right now. She might still think of him as a brother, but it was clear that wasn't what Zack thought of their connection. And though Zack was all business when they discussed their plan for getting Max away from Seattle – which Logan still had to appreciate, down deep – Logan knew what the man must be thinking. I'm all but giving the bride away at the wedding, Logan swallowed, the ache in his gut getting more insistent. Who knows if they'll ever hook up – but if they do, I've given them my blessing with all this – haven't I? It was clear, ever since the last time Zack had come to take Max away, that it would take a seismic shift in their status quo to get Max to leave Seattle – to leave him – if even Lydecker and exposure had not.
And once again Logan cursed his pigheaded, obstinate, obtuse conviction that Max was beyond his reach, when that simple truth had been right under his nose all the time. Serves you right, bucko, the most remarkable woman in Seattle comes back to stay, under threat of capture, imprisonment, and God knows what else, and you know damn well it wasn't just 'cos she liked her job. You squandered it all by feeling sorry for yourself that you weren't good enough for her as you are ... and now you have to run her off by convincing her you don't have feelings for her...
Nice little life you've gotten yourself into now, Cale, he reminded himself yet again as he stared into his drink, feeling its effects, but not the numbing sensations he'd hoped for – anything but. Instead, he remembered how Zack looked as he quickly agreed to get Max away from Seattle ... away from him... safe. At least she'd be safe; hell, she'd be with her siblings, something she'd wanted more than anything in this world. Zack gave him his word.
And if it makes Max happy – if he makes her happy – well, what's the downside?
He lifted the chilled glass to his lips and took another long draught of the rare single malt that both chilled and burned as he swallowed. In a sudden memory, he felt a bitter laugh catch in his throat as his eyes burned. 'If he can take it, so can I,' his thoughts paraphrased the lines he suddenly remembered, from another tragic love gone wrong in war time. Throat tightening with the pain of what he'd set in motion, and what he stood to lose, he lifted his glass in a mock salute, out into the night, out to Max, wherever she might be. "Here's looking at you, kid," he whispered, the stars swimming before him.
If Bogey could do it, he vowed, so can Eyes Only...
To be continued...