Like A Total Idiot

(Jacob POV)

I don't know exactly when I stopped pretending to be in love with Leah and actually fell in love. I didn't even realise it until it was pointed out. The pack and I were hanging out. Leah and I had pretty much stopped phasing, because we knew the pack would find out we weren't really in love. But Paul was annoying me, making sleazy comments about my sister. It took one shiver to change, and attack.

Jake's got it bad for Le-Le! Paul crooned.

Huh? I stopped trying to kill him.

God, I can feel your imprinting Sam complained. At this point, Sam was a werewolf too.

You tricked me! I exclaimed, howling.

Had to see if it was real Sam replied. I phased back quickly, crouching and breathing heavily. I imprinted on Leah? Impossible! That would mean I was in love with Leah. Was I? I frowned. Sam and Paul phased back.

"Sorry, man," Paul said. Sam, Paul and I went to Emily's to get new clothes, and I went back home. Did I love Leah? How could I? I went inside. Billy was watching a football game. He looked up at me.

"What's wrong, Jake?" he asked. I sighed and sat down on the couch next to his wheelchair.

"It's hard to explain," I replied. He turned off the TV and stared at me.

"Tell me Jake," he commanded. He really should have been an Alpha, with commands like that. They are overpowering.

"Paul was bugging me, so I phased," I began, letting my voice trail off. Billy raised his eyebrows.

"They found out you and Leah aren't imprinting? I told you that would happen, Jake," Billy said, somewhat gently.

"The opposite," I grimaced. Billy stared at me in shock.

"You are imprinting on Leah now?" Billy asked in disbelief. I nodded.

"I didn't even realise it had changed until they said…" I frowned.

"I don't think your imprinting, Jake. It's too late to imprint," Billy sighed.

"Then what is it?" I demanded.

"Try love, Son," Billy rolled his eyes. I heaved a sigh of relief.

"So, will it go away?" I asked quickly.

"Love never fully goes away, Jake. Besides, for it to be mistaken for imprinting, it must be strong. What's wrong with loving Leah?" Billy asked.

"What if she doesn't love me?" I answered. Billy sighed.

"Son, there are times in life when you have to put yourself out there. If you don't, then you'll always wish you did," Billy patted my shoulder.

"I don't want to be rejected again," my voice trembled mid-sentence. God, I loved Leah. How could I stand her telling me she didn't love me?

"You have to try," Billy said firmly. I knew I did. I would eventually have to tell Leah, or else she would find out eventually. Stupid pack mind.

"I'm going for a walk," I said sharply. That's what I needed. Billy knew I couldn't take off now. I needed to be with Leah. Stupid love.

"In the rain?" Billy asked. I looked up at the window. Rain. Figures.

"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged. Billy examined my face, before nodded.

"Alright. Do whatever you need to do," Billy sighed. I ran from the house, and into the soaked streets. Gravel crunched beneath my bare feet. I should start wearing shoes again. I thought about Leah. Was I in love with her? Could I stop myself? I didn't need to be hurt again. I got enough of that from Bella. At least Leah wouldn't leave me for a stupid leech that broke her heart. Why was life so damn cruel? It was as if my life was some sort of sick joke, to see how far I could get pushed. What if I put myself out there for nothing? Would I ever be able to face Leah again? Would she care about the love she heard in my mind when we were wolves? What if she never wanted to see me again? I could never live with that. I fell in love with my beautiful wife, and now I wanted to kick myself. Why the hell did life have to be so damned heartless?