Whoo hoo! This is proof that I am, in fact, living! I know I haven't updated. Right now it's summer. So yes. I can waste my time updating. You heard me right!

So there's some language in here not suitable for little children…but it's based on a real experience. Trust me. In fact, all the randomness in my stories is based on real experiences...I need to hang out with different people…

V for Whatever I Feel Like

"Mammoth babies!" Marth cried.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

"FTW…" spoke Pit.

"Hey, Pit said 'FTW!" Link cried. "Maybe he stopped talking backwards!"

"I think Pit meant, 'WTF,' as in 'What The Fuck?'" Zelda said softly.

"I thought he was saying 'FTW…'" Link looked at the floor.

"Why would Pit be saying 'For the Win?'" Roy inquired. "He doesn't encourage…uh…mammoth babies."

"Wait, 'FTW' means 'For The Win?'" Link paused. "Not 'Fuck the Whore?' OW! Why'd you slap me, Zelda?"

Zelda sighed and shook her head. Link rubbed his cheek as Roy turned to watch the numbers light up as they moved on to their destination.

"Hey…how come we stopped at 5?" Samus asked. "No one's stopping on 5, right?"

The doors opened. No one moved.

"Get out there!" the Authoress suddenly appeared and used her magical strength to shove each Smasher out of the elevator.

"Wait!" Roy jumped up, but the elevator doors closed. "Where are we…?"

"It's 11:00…" Samus mused as a clock tower went off. "It's really quiet here…"

The sounds of a girl screaming made all the Smashers turn in the same direction.

"It's the generic damsel in distress scream!" Marth jumped to his feet. "I'd recognize it anywhere!" He didn't move.

"Well, aren't we going to go save her?" Roy asked, taking a small step forward.

"No. I told you, I recognize the scream, but maybe it's a really happy person," Marth shrugged.

"Screw you," Samus ran off, pulling her whip out.

They all followed, and when they turned the corner, they were amazed to see a woman on the ground, struggling to get up, and a masked man in the middle of some insane speech.

"…However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition…who are all of you?"

The Smashers couldn't help but stare. The man was dressed all in black, with long shoulder-length hair and a mask with a creepy grin on it. The girl stood up and scrambled over to the other side of the alley so she was behind the masked man and looked at the Smashers.

"It's you!" Zelda cried with joy.

"I bed your pardon?" the masked man asked.

"It's V!" Zelda squealed.

"What?" Link turned to Zelda.

The Hylian Princess ran up V. "You're the person who saves England! You promote anarchy! You're a hero! I love you!"

"HEY!" Link said, eyes getting all watery. "I…saved…Hyrule…" he added quietly, looking at his feet.

"But you're nowhere near as articulate as V," Zelda smirked.

"Who are you?" V asked, taking a step back. Anyone was sure that if he hadn't been wearing a mask, he would've had an eyebrow raised.

"Eek!" Zelda cried. "He asked who I was! Now if I can remember that one line…Oh! Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a princess!'"

"He just said that to me…except he said 'I am a man in a mask,'" the girl spoke.

"And you're Evey!" Zelda shrieked, running to the girl and shaking her hand vigorously.

"How do you know all this?" Samus scratched her head.

"Ugh," Zelda rolled her eyes. "'Remember, remember, the Fifth of November, the Gunpowder Treason and Plot. I know of no reason why the Gunpowder Treason should ever be forgot...'"

"Oh, I remember!" Roy shouted. "I thought you were on drugs that one week."

"Niaga revo dna revo eivom eno taht gnihctaw tpek ehs nehw?" Pit mused.

Zelda glared at Roy. "It was one of the best films I'd ever seen! And now we're in it!"

"I'm sorry," Evey said, pulling her hand free of Zelda's, who had still been shaking it subconsciously. "But…er…I really must be going…"

"Wait!" V and Zelda cried at the same time.

"He has to take you to blow up the old Bailey!" Zelda spoke.

"I wanted to take you to a concert!" V growled as he turned to Zelda.

"That's what you tell her," Zelda crossed her arms. "But you're really going to blow up the old Bailey…"

Evey's eyes doubled in size.

"You're ruining everything," V told Zelda, trying to remain calm.

"I know, but it's inevitable anyway, right?" Zelda flashed a smile at V.

V grabbed Evey's arm, who screamed. "Thanks for ruining everything!" And he pulled her away.

The Smashers didn't bother following.

"Zelda!" the Princess turned to see a very irritated Authoress. "You ruined one of my favorite movies of all time!" she flipped her hair back, sighing in frustration. "It was a mistake to bring you all here. I thought you'd all want to help V and start some anarchy and crap, but it didn't work out so great. I'll fix it all and send you back. Yeesh. This sucked."

"I'm sorry, I was just so excited!" Zelda cried happily.

"Blah blah blah," the Authoress rolled her eyes. "Try to restrain it or I'll do that myself with my fist!"

"You wouldn't punch her!" Marth cried.

"Fine, I'll punch you!"

"Eep!" Marth hid behind Pit.

"Ugh, why do you have to be so cute, Pit?" the Authoress groaned.

"Wonk t'nod I," Pit spoke, shrugging.

"Hmm…you still the only one who speaks backwards..." the Authoress tapped her chin. Smiling, she turned to Samus and whacked her across the head.

"Hey!" Roy cried.

"Nani o shiteruno?" Samus snarled. "Eh? Waa! Nihongo o hanashiteimasu!"

"There we go," the Authoress grinned.

"She's speaking in Japanese!" Marth cried. "Oh no!"

"Why is it such a problem? It's your native language before all of you were dubbed into English," the Authoress looked at her nails.

"What? Nooooo!" Roy cried.

"Roysan!" Samus grabbed his collar, shaking him.

"Nuf eb ot gniong si siht…" Pit sighed.

"Indeed," the Authoress grinned. "Okay, get to the elevator everyone, before I send pretty pink unicorns after you!"

"Aah! Haiyaku!" Everyone knew Samus's fear for pink and unicorns. "Ikimashou!"

Yeah sorry my Japanese is a little off. I got out of school, so I sort of stopped studying it. La la la…