Song — In His Touch by Céline Dion.

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Pain Takes My Heart's Place

Chapter Five

The moment Meredith stepped into her hotel room, she dropped her purse and went straight for the restroom. She flipped on the light-switch and grabbed at three or four separate tissues from the Kleenex box on the counter and brought them directly to her face. Meredith wiped her eyes gently and eventually took a fleeting look at herself in the mirror, only to find herself face-to-face with a woman who had red blotches and stained cheeks from crying.

What she saw didn't resemble the Meredith she knew at all. The woman she saw looked as though walls had crashed around her and each separate brick that fell represented a tiny stab at her heart—metaphorically speaking, yet also figuratively… She did feel as though she had a broken heart and no one, she determined easily, should ever have to feel that particular way. Ever. No matter their past or circumstances. Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past.

Meredith dropped the used tissues into the trash bin and walked out to eradicate her coat. She lazily draped the article of clothing over the tiny table in her hotel room and wandered over to the tiny refrigerator to snatch a bottle of water. After removing the lid, she took a few sips and then jumped the tiniest bit when she heard a knock on her door. She inhaled sharply, clearly knowing who waited on the other side of the door, and then set the water bottle down before unhurriedly making her way over to the knocking.

She unlocked the door and hesitantly opened it, bringing her directly in front of the man she traveled across the country to get away from. Bummer.

They stood in silence for what seemed like an eternity, but not before Meredith noticed the relief that washed over Mark's face when she opened the door, and the warmth that appeared in his eyes as they fell upon her petite figure. The sorrow. The love. Her face remained emotionless, save for whatever remained from her crying fiasco earlier. And she hardly ever cried, so this frightened her—the crying thing, over a guy. She promised herself at a young age that she wouldn't turn into one of those girls, yet she couldn't help it.

Forgive me,
Don't know where to start.
I guess we've come to
The serious part.

Her hand dropped from the door and she simply left it open, Mark still outside the door, as she turned from it and walked back into her room. Meredith grabbed the water bottle again and this time took a seat in one of the chairs surrounding a little square table in the hotel room. Numb fingers deftly amused themselves with the water bottle as Meredith gazed off into space, out the window. The darkness made it difficult to make out any real building or object, but the occasional building light and star in the sky made for amusement.

Mark took a few steps into the hotel room, but didn't shut the door or walk over to Meredith at once. He watched her movements closely and noticed how significantly her demeanor changed—this Meredith before him acted more dark and twisty than bright and shiny. He did this. He vowed not to allow the dark and twisty Meredith to return years ago, and there she sat… Mark closed the door and locked it as she had it before he knocked, and stuffed his hands into his coat pockets while he cautiously wandered over to where she sat. He gave their Labrador a simple pat on the head on the way over, but his focused remained one hundred percent on Meredith.

I need to find out
If there's a chance
For us.

"Hi." Mark stated in a whisper while he pulled out the other chair. Meredith barely nodded her head in acknowledgment, but Mark's eyes discerned the minute action. He sat down and followed her gaze outside the window. They sat in silence, simply staring for quite a while before Mark tore his gaze from the window and fixed it onto Meredith.

"I know what I did was beyond horrible," he began, keeping his voice in the same whisper he used primarily. "And you did not deserve it… You deserve so much more, so much more than what I have given you. I'm an ass—no, worse than that… It's indescribable. There's no word for what I am." He spoke slowly; cautiously.

Cheat. Bastard. Liar. Man-whore…

"But I will regret what happened every day of my life, and I have regretted it since I saw your face when you walked in and then drove off… A part of me left with you—a large part of me, and I feel like I can't breathe without you, Meredith. You have my heart."

Don't give me that same old look
It won't win me over.

Tears stung his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair, but Meredith remained unaffected. She sat emotionless and detached, and her eyes still gazed out the window, into darkness as she waited in silence. Before long, though, her eyes drifted from the window and down to the bottled water in front of her. She analyzed the plastic carefully—at least it seemed as though she was analyzing it—before she began to shake her head slowly.

"With Addison, Mark? With my best friend? While I was working?" She began quietly, but felt her voice becoming louder as the anger rushed back into her veins. "I had had a long—no, beyond long day, and I just wanted to come home and see you. Spend time with you and our dog. I walked in and it was dark and empty, so I glanced through the mail while I made a cup of coffee… I called for you. I said your name and I knew something was wrong when you didn't answer. So I went upstairs…" She trailed off.

The tears stung her eyes, but she began to confuse herself emotionally as she felt anger and sadness simultaneously. They both fought for control, but both of the emotions kept strong, not letting up one ounce of the energy they contained.

"I heard her. I heard you. The stiletto… It wasn't mine," she stated. Her eyes flicked over to him and bore right into his own, and Mark brought in a sharp breath of air as he noticed the iciness in her usually warm, green eyes. "How could you?" She questioned accusingly, eyes narrow.

"What would possess you to do something like that?" She hissed and stood up from the table. Mark did the same and she tried to turn away—get away; do anything—to get away from him. The tears began to fall powerfully and she let out a semi-soft sob.

You can say you love me,
That I'm your perfect crush,
How it hurts to need someone that much…

Mark walked over to her again, trying to get close to her, while he remained silent. Tears stained his own cheeks as new ones began to fall, and he became surprised to hear her voice once again.

"How could you, Mark? How could you do this… How— Could you?" She continued the mantra as her tiny, ineffectual fists began to hit his chest. This action just caused Mark to step in closer to her, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his warm body. She continued to hit her fists into his chest with the little amount of energy she had left, and she couldn't stop crying. No matter what she did, she couldn't stop.

"Mere… Meredith," he whispered and brought one hand up to still her fists, while he pulled her even closer to him with his other arm. "I'm sorry, Meredith… I'm so, so sorry… I'm sorry."

Meredith finally gave up and dropped her hands from his chest, and barely wrapped her arms around his waist as he continued to hold her close. Both of his arms wrapped around her while her cries wracked her body, and Mark felt his heart strain to a level he had never felt before as he felt her small body try to hold in her emotions against him.

He didn't say anything as silent tears fell down his own cheeks. Mark just held her as close as possible and lifted his hand again, this time to bury it into her dirty blonde locks. Meredith's tears began to stain Mark's shirt but she simply couldn't bring herself to care as she exhaustedly—emotionally and physically—clung to him.

You can swear you mean it,
But that ain't good enough
'Cause when a man loves a woman it is all
In his touch.

Her grasp loosened on him as Meredith felt her breathing even out, slowly but surely. Mark still held her close, however, and he had no intentions of letting her go anytime soon. But she wanted out.

"No," she whispered harshly as she pulled away, out of his grasp. She would usually find comfort in her future husband. He would know how to fix things. But he hurt her. Where could she find comfort now?

"She wanted me to tell you that what happened was the biggest mistake of her life," Mark whispered softly. "She's flying out to Seattle sometime soon, too… She misses you, and she doesn't want to lose you. Like I don't… Ever. I can't be without you, Meredith."

She couldn't hear Addison's name. She began to turn away.

Mark saw this and gently grasped her forearm, tenderly running the pad of his thumb over her soft, silky skin—his touch felt electrifying. Their gazes locked and neither one of them turned away. They felt together on a new level—drawn together—and Meredith didn't turn away as she saw Mark bowing his head down to meet their lips.

'Cause now that we've come this far
We don't want to loose it.
If you wanna win my heart,
Baby, just shut your mouth.

His lips were soft against hers. Tentative. They meshed together perfectly, yet Mark pulled away after their lips met once. If his touch previously felt electrifying, their kiss represented some sort of lightning storm. He met her gaze again, before he leaned down for another kiss. This time, however, he didn't pull away and nor did she. Their lips soon found perfect synchronization as they angled and slid together. His hand reached up and buried itself into her lavender-scented hair again, becoming intoxicated by the scent as he began to gently run the tip of his tongue along her bottom lip.

Meredith felt her knees begin to weaken as he softly and sensually began to suck on her lower lip, accompanied by a gentle nibble every now and then. She found herself parting her lips, granting him access as his tongue sought entry. Meredith felt as though she was melting into his muscular body and Mark stood more than happy to support her weight.

How much time had passed, neither of them knew, but they remained so engrossed in each other that they couldn't part. They missed each other and on top of that, all of their emotions began to seep into their kiss as time wore on, making their kiss a powerful one at that.

Maybe this was their second chance. Maybe this was supposed to make their relationship stronger.

She sighed into his mouth and gradually parted from him once the kiss lightened a little bit. The tip of her tongue gracefully slid along her now red and plump lips as she savored the taste of him.

"I love you, Meredith."

Meredith stood quietly as his words echoed repeatedly in her thoughts. With their lips a mere hair's width apart, she brought her gaze up to meet his once more, while she whispered against his lips, "Show me that you do, Mark… Actions speak louder than words."

Mark bowed his head after he nodded his head and then placed a gentle, loving kiss on her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere; not without you."

With a sad smile, he turned from where they stood and headed for the door. He glanced back at her before he walked out, practically whispering his next few words. "I love you, Mere," he repeated. "Don't forget that, okay?"

She stood wordlessly, and watched him walk out from her sight and close the door.

I'm fine. I'll be okay... I'm just fan-freaking-tastic. But the tears fell.

You can swear you mean it
But that ain't good enough
'Cause when a man loves a woman it is all
In his touch…
Then words don't mean that much.