A/N:
symbol meanings:
flashbacks
'thoughts'
"speech"
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Forgotten
He was gone, again. And I ached again and the voices nagged, insistent.
'I've finally lost it.'
But they continued, unabated as they had ever since he left, all his promises, all the words of others in there as well.
"Didn't he make a promise to you Naminé? Didn't he?" Larxene's voice echoed in my head taunting cruelly.
…but His were so much worse.
"I'll protect you, no matter what." And "Who am I going to have to protect if I don't have you!? Erase my memories, break my heart…I'll still have my promise. I'll still protect you!"
'… But…what if you're the one to hurt me? What then?'
"The way I felt was no lie."
'…Even though…you still chose Her over me.' I was having conversations with him in my mind and yet I didn't care.
"I'll find you again after I wake up. And when I do find you, we'll be friends for real."
'…Even though we both knew this was just another of your empty promises—you wouldn't even remember me. And… now that you do you left me again. It hurts so much now.'
The voices eventually stopped coming, stopped their taunting, stopped repeating empty promises back to me, promises I'd clung to for so long without even realizing it. The days became a blur they all melded together, days without meaning.
'Sora, I wish you were here. I want to see your smile again so bad. I miss you… but you've already forgotten me again, haven't you Sora? But...I remember… everything…I still remember that time it was short, so unbearably short, when you held my hand and then took me by surprise and held me tight. But… I wasn't and won't ever be your love, your light. Now you're gone and I'm crying, broken, dying inside.'
'I'm still searching for a light of my own, but I can't see it, I can't find it. Where are you? I need you right now. Please, don't leave me alone anymore… I can't handle it, being abandoned anymore.'
Nobodies shouldn't feel… but I do. I felt my heart break yet again, felt that ache in my empty chest.
'I still remember the first time.'
I roamed the halls of oblivion lurking waiting for him. He was back safely I breathed out the tension relieved when I saw he was okay. He'd won. But…
…the darkness lingered. He didn't want fake memories anymore. No surprise right? But now everything here reminds me of him… of both of them, they both left me. I wanted so badly to tell them not to go, to stay with me, to be by my side, but the words never came. I couldn't speak and they left of their own free will who was I to deny their desires? Because when you love someone you want to do what's best for them right? And so I tried.
I listened as he chose the pods, hurt but not surprised, not protesting, I couldn't make this any harder. Afterwards I went down there, to the pods, just to sense his presence, to see him, to feel him, to just be near him. That would have to be enough for me because I knew that would have to be enough for me… because I knew when it was over he'd return to Her.
"It's not fair! I already had to give you up once why do I have to do this again?! It's too much. I can only take so much. Just when I found one thing that mattered… I thought that… maybe I could rebuild my shattered life. I wanted to see you so bad Sora. But they'd already broken you; I'd torn out your heart with my manipulations, because to them we were only pawns, nothing more."
I watched him in that pod fast asleep; even though he was still there it wasn't the same. I wanted Sora back, his smiles, his warmth, his laughter. "I miss you." This thing I stared at was his shell while he slept inside.
"You hurt me." It was a simple truth but the words caught in my truth, I felt I didn't have the right to say them but yet I spoke inside that empty room where no one would know. I'd thought Nobodies weren't supposed to feel but I did, I felt slighted and betrayed.
"You left with a smile."
Oh God, that was the worst of it. I watched that dazzling smile as he left me, stepping into that pod and it closed in around you as memories of me began to fade.
Was he that eager to leave me and memories of me? Or… was he that eager to see her?
"Sora, I can see all the sadness you're hiding, I can feel it, I can see it in your eyes, heard it in your voice… but you never spoke of it. I know I hurt you, deceived you, but you never let it out. You just smiled again, this one a little strained, but still there. The first real smile I saw was as you said goodbye so eager to forget this… and me."
Now that you're gone again I'm left to gather the pieces of my life I'll try to rebuild it again. 'But...why? Why did you go? How can She be your everything when I mean nothing to you?
"I wish… I wish I couldn't feel at all. Please… just let me be numb. Because… otherwise I'll remember that as you left… you were smiling… and I can't handle that anymore. All this hurt. It's… too much."
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A/N: well lemme know what you think. I do have a prequal to this that i'll put up eventually. and maybe a sequal. maybe.
please please r&r I live on those things srsly.
Inspired by the song haunted by Kelly Clarkson link to a vid is listed below:
http://www. youtube. com/watch?v=O7bpMQt08FU (eliminate the spaces first but other than that that's the web address.)