Author's Notes: A note from Nida to Cid. Originally written in my free time between Chapters 5 and 6 of Pilot Wings, just so you know how long I was planning this vein of evil rather than where I ended up having the story go.

This, obviously, happened before I learned Nida needed to lose his memory, so this was where the story was MEANT to end up.

Cid,

It's been six months since I got back, and I'm writing, like I promised. I'm pretty sure you won't remember about it, but I gave you my word, and I'd never go back on my word to you. So, as pointless, as ridiculous as it seems, I'm here, writing. It's almost midnight now, and I've got work in the morning. Squall offered me time off, but… I need something you know.

Well, I guess I have something, other than the journal of course. I'm sorry, I switched our pilot wings. When I was cleaning up the extra room I found yours. They were simple steel things, shaped like the wings of a bird. They looked like you'd never worn them before, or maybe just only once. I was sure you wouldn't miss them, but I still left mine in their place. I wear your wings on my uniform now. Squall seemed bewildered by my loss of the gold and silver that had been made for me, but Kiros understands. Still, I hope that you'll find mine some day, to have something to remember me by. You are, after all, rather forgetful.

I think what makes it so hard to get through the days is that, other than the wings and the scars and the journal, there is nothing here that reminds me specifically of you. My uniform was so badly damaged in a Malboro uprising in the Islands that I had to get a new one. Nothing here is tied to you. It isn't our bed, your lady, our home. I'm not in your arms when I sleep. I wish you were here. But then… I guess you would be in the position I was. It isn't very pleasant.

What I wish for most (besides you of course) is someone to talk to. No one here would even begin to believe me. I was only gone for three days here. We were damn good on the timing. The only one I could consider speaking to is Kiros. He knows what it's like to love and lose, but he's all I've got and I can't risk driving him away. He'll never be you, but I guess there is some comfort I can take in that fact. When I'm with him I can at least pretend that it is really you.

So tonight, as promised, I made this letter for you, undeliverable, unremarkable, unbelievable, and unbearable. It feels as if all the pain from those first few days is back, but if I could handle it then, I can handle it now. All I can do is hope that the Lifestream, that flow of energy and existence Cloud spoke of is not only true, but universal. That someday, after we've lived out our time, your Goddess would grace me with being reborn to be at your side. It is a silly hope, but it gets me to sleep at night.

I wish I hadn't come back. I wish we hadn't found a way to bring me home. I miss you Cid. I don't think I will ever stop missing you. And I don't give a damn if you would want me to or not. Because somewhere inside I know you're just a greedy bastard and you'd want me to carry the memory of that to the grave. I just hope you remember me too.

And that, I guess, is all there is to say. I'll put this letter away now, hidden in the pages of the journal. Hidden in your story. Hidden along with you. I'm going to put it away now, and I'm not going to look at it, or this, or the wings again. I promised you that. I won't back down on it. Just please, please know I'll always love you and I'll remember what we had as long as I can. All for you.

-Nida

P.S. I've decided I'm going to stop using GFs any more than I absolutely have to. Anything to preserve the memory of you, you pompous, arrogant, self-centered, egotistical, vulgar, crude, cruel, gentle, sweet, kind, loving, wonderful, bastard.