Hey, people! What's up? Here we go with another chapter of insanity known as the Zelda How To Guide. Here goes! The reason why Ganondorf wasn't in the last chapter was because there wasn't enough room for him in the van… especially with Darunia weighing down the back of the van. XD Just think about what the other drivers are thinking with Nabooru and Link staring out the windows and the bumper of the van dragging while Zelda drives like a maniac! XD

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How To Make Toast Like Zelda Characters

Darunia: Grab as many pieces as will fit into the toaster at once and set all the dials to the same number. As soon as they all pop up, spread an insane amount of butter over each and waste no time in stuffing them in your mouth.

Nabooru: Set the toaster on a setting that gives the bread an even brown color. Spread either peanut butter or cinnamon over it (NO SUGAR!) or both and eat it in a half-delicate way. (Somewhat quickly, but by all means, DON'T pull a Darunia, for goodness' sake!)

Saria: Dye the bread green with food coloring and stick it in the toaster just long enough to get it warm and slightly crispy. Put some grape or strawberry jelly on it and eat it carefully.

Malon: Play around long enough to make some of the egg mixture that is used for French toast and dip the bread in that. Fry it in a pan until the egg stuff is cooked and pour maple syrup on it (after you put it on a plate, of course!). Eat it with a fork.

Ruto: Use the toaster to get the bread warm and slightly crispy. Spread some fish paste on it (Link just LOVES the smell of fishy breath (NOT)) and eat it, regardless that everyone else thinks that the fish paste is disgusting.

Impa: Toast? Who needs toast when you can make PANCAKES?!?

Rauru: Stick the toast in the toaster and fall asleep. Wake up after the toast is cold and wonder why it won't melt the butter you put on it.

Dark Link: Leave the toast in the toaster until the smoke detector rings. When everyone plugs their ears, yell that it was Link's fault. When no one believes you, pull out your toast and eat it even though it will burn you. It tastes best fresh.

Ingo: People actually EAT toast? Steal a pancake from the ones Impa made and STILL complain that Talon is lazy.

Talon: Do what Malon did, but use the remnants of her egg stuff. After the egg is cooked, put it on a plate and put ketchup on it instead of syrup.

King Harkinian: Make garlic toast for DINNER even though it's BREAKFAST time, and then wonder why you have nothing to eat for breakfast. Talk about the "peace all true warriors strive for" and "dinner" until everyone leaves.

Zelda: Put the bread in the toaster until it's a light golden brown. Pull it out and put a small amount of butter on it. Put a small amount of cinnamon and sugar on it and eat it daintily, like a princess should.

Link: Who needs toast when there's bacon?!? After everyone else is done in the kitchen… and you've had your morning cup of COFFEE (If you read Link's New Adventure, you know what that means! ;D), start frying some bacon. When Ruto offers you some fish paste, refuse as only you can "Gimme fish paste and I'll cut ya in half" and draw the Master Sword. When she backs away, resume the bacon-frying. When the bacon is done, hijack one of Impa's spare pancakes. Drizzle the syrup on and start eating it only to realize that you didn't put enough syrup on it. Add more and when you're done with the pancake, eat the bacon. If you get bored, dip the bacon in the leftover syrup on your plate.

Ganondorf: BURN the toast and take a piece of the leftover bacon that Link fried. Burn it or stick it in the microwave for too long. Put a crazy amount of orange marmalade on the toast and put the bacon on top. Eat your mutilated creation.

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This was really random and I had writer's block on Talon. :O Anyhow, I figured out something and here ya go. Link is still my favorite. He's got the craziest ones (ideas). I got kinda sick of typing about toast and couldn't think of any other ways of making it, so that's why there're pancakes and bacon. Mmm. Bacon… um… just tell me your favorite part. Thanks. That's what the review button's for. XD Hugs for reviewers! Hmmm. I should really do a Star Wars version of this. Tell me your favorite one!