Ruki44: Sheepish grin Sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've been working on my other story, Hylian Phoniex (Yea i know prolly sp that wrong) and I was determined to get it done before summers end. That ended in complete and utter failure.

Tetra: Geez, you are a loser.

Hinata: Tetra, that's not nice!

Ruki: Yea! If you're going to insult her, get better insults.

Rukia: Or mess with her mind!

Ruki44, Tetra, Hinata, Ruki: ...

Ruki44: Hey look Rukia, look bunnies.

Rukia: Oh my god! Where! Runs after 'bunny'

Ruki44: Yea anyways, I didn't feel like writing out the whole temple because that would be a pain in the ass.

Tetra: Lazy ass.

Ruki44: Yea i know, and since I'm such a lazy ass, you and Ruki can do the disclaimer.

Ruki: Why me!

Ruki44: Natural reflex, just do it.

Ruki: mutters darkly Jerk off. Come on Tetra, let's get this over with.

Tetra and Ruki: Ruki44 don't own nothing...

Tetra: Wanna hunt her down?

Ruki: Hell yea!

Hunts Ruki44 down

Hinata: I'll get the replacments...

The Forest Temple-Boomerangs and Bosses

We had returned to the previous chamber, Zelda was muttering angry words and I already established to myself, never, ever, and I mean ever, get on the receiving end of the Princess' fury. I don't think I would last longer than a minute.

We then walked down a passage, these spidery bomb things were everywhere. When I hit them with my sword (or when they stupidly got into 100 feet of Zelda's range) they curled up into a little ball and blew up. Living bombs, it was sort of cool.

"LINK, YOU MORON, IT'S GOING TO BLOW UP NEXT TO YOU! RUN!" Midna yelled at me as I looked down to indeed see a bomb animal and it was indeed seconds from exploding. I would have probably been blown up if it wasn't for Zelda. With an annoyed glance she wacked away the animal into a wall where it promptly blew up, showing an alcove with a bunch of pots and I swear to goddesses, one of them was moving and making weird noises.

"Haunted pottery!" Zelda yipped, all bloodlust gone as she more or less jumped into my arms. "Do something Link!" She cried, holding onto my neck for dear life. This would be a good time to mention I think that I'm really uncomfortable around girls…

"Um ok…" I said nervously as I gently pried her off me and carefully walked toward the offending pot. I picked it up, feeling it vibrate in my hands.

"SPIRITS BEGONE!" I yelled as I threw it against the wall, shattering it. What was inside was not a ghost but rather a chicken…of sorts. Or maybe it was a turkey…

"Hey look Link, a chicken!" Zelda's childish nature was back and in full as she peered over my shoulder with a huge smile on her face.

"I am Ooccoo, I was exploring this temple and got lost." The creature-Ooccoo introduced herself.

"Right and got stuck in a pot behind a blast wall." Zelda remarked in my ear softly making me shiver. I am getting really uncomfortable right now…

"Anyways, if you don't mind, I'll hang with you guys since you have a sense of direction. If you ever need to warp back to the temple entrance, just let me know and I can do that. And when you want to warp back to the room you were in, I can do that too." Ooccoo remarked before jumping into my bag. What. The. Hell.

"That's going to be helpful. Anyways, let's go Link." Zelda, who wasn't at all disturbed out by the last few events grinned and proceed to push me down the hall.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

I sighed as I sat down on the ground. We had been running around this damn temple for hours and all we got accomplished was freeing a couple of monkey, learning that Zelda can't be and should never be, no desperate the situation, with explosives of any kind.

"I'm tired Link." Zelda complained as she sat down (well more like fell down) next to me.

"I'm actually rather tired as well. All those near death experiences can take a lot out of you…mentally and physically." Midna remarked as she appeared out of my shadow, giving Zelda a meaningful glare. Zelda just rolled her eyes however.

"See! This is why people automatically like Link better then you. He's not annoying." Zelda shot back, closing her eyes. Midna raised her eyebrow.

"What do you mean? The only person that has met the both of us is you Princess." Midna shot back. Zelda lazily opened one eye before smiling again.

"Well it still holds." She said cheerfully before closing her eyes again.

"Hey!" Midna yelped, floating closer to Zelda before sighing.

"It's no use, she's asleep." Midna groaned, looking over to me, studying me over.

"What?" I asked, feeling uncomfortable again.

"Nothing…you should get some sleep." Midna told me before turning away and I swear I heard her mutter stuff such as. 'Hormones, that's what it is.' and 'Not my fault this is the first non perverted guy she had in contact with…' among other things along those lines. I ignored her and found myself drifting off into a dreamless sleep. Midna was right, near death experiences did do that to you.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

I awoke with a start. This wasn't my house, there aren't my clothes, where was I? When I saw Zelda breathing softly next to me, her face at complete peace, I remembered everything. I was in the Forest Temple doing goddesses know what with a crazed imp and the Princess of Hyrule-who I more or less helped kidnap. I gulped. Oh good goddesses was I in deep shit…

"Link? What are you thinking about?" I looked over to Zelda surprised. She was awake now and her blue eyes were boring holes into me. I sat up.

"Nothing. You rested now Zelda?" I asked her politely. Zelda seemed amused however.

"You're cute when you're nervous." She told me matter of factly. I blushed as she laughed. WHERE did that come from I wondered.

"We should…um…get moving on…" I stammered, cursing to myself. Living all my life with 

woman like Illia I should be at ease around girls right? WRONG! Illia did a better job of scaring me so I had no feeling towards her besides fear and friendship. Mostly fear. Illia is also scary when she's mad and half of the time it's at me…

"Aw, Link is nervous around girls, how cute." Midna teased me, floating mockingly around my head. "Too bad he's stuck with two of them." She laughed, giving me some room and hanging around Zelda. Despite their bickering, the two seemed to be close friends. I couldn't help but wonder how the female mind worked.

"Let's get a move on because this temple is doing nothing for my completely rational fear of spiders. In fact it's making it quite worse. Getting killed more than twice will do that to you." Zelda piped up, striding toward the door.

"Yea, hopefully the next dungeons don't have as much explosives." Midna muttered as she used her Twili magic to open the door. When I say that, she transformed her hair into a giant hand and lifted the door open.

"No matter what, that is still sweet ass." Zelda said as she walked into the room. In front of lay the key we needed.

"That is surprisingly easy." I noted surprised. The last keys we found involved Zelda picking treasure chest locks. Seriously though, who in their freaking right mind keeps keys in a locked chest? Really now, it's completely pointless.

"Who cares!" Zelda yelled excitedly as she ran toward the key. Then this plant…thing…from the previous room appeared, except this one was huge ass. Seriously though man. What. The. Hell. Zelda did a complete stop as it at the key and backpedalled toward me.

"It ate the key!" She yelped. Just then a roaming bud lunged at us and Zelda jumped to the side as I dodged to the side and destroyed it with a jump attack. Take that you little carnivorous plant…thing.

"That just leaves the son of a bitch plant that ate our key." Zelda said, eyeing the bombs with a hopeful eye. Oh no, no way was I letting her handle bombs. No way in hell. With a full sprint I plucked a bomb and chucked it into the flower. It swallowed it and exploded leaving only a key and a screaming monkey. Good riddance. I ignored the monkey and went for the key. Zelda however went for the monkey lamenting (yet again) on how cruel this was.

"You listening to me Link?" Zelda asked me, obviously not amused.

"Yes." I replied automatically, already heading toward the next room.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

With all the monkeys freed, we finally crossed the gap in what I can tell was the temple's largest room. Zelda was singing "George of the Jungle" behind me. Seriously, what goes on in that 

mind of hers?

"HEY, THERE IS THAT FREAKING MOONING MONKEY! I'M GONNA GET THE DAMN BOOMERANG AND SHOVE IT UP HIS…" Zelda yelled as we entered a room with lots of pillars.

"Hey look it's going to fall…oh wait never mind." I cut her off mid rant as the monkey started to stumble. So the pillars weren't that sturdy…interesting. The monkey flashed it's bottom at us one more time and slapped its hindquarters. Zelda gave an enraged yell as I narrowed my eyes. It's on. That boomerang it's carrying looks awfully nice. Zelda can kill the baboon and I'll steal its boomerang. It's a no lose situation!

The monkey began jumping from pillar to pillar. I ran into the center of the ring with Zelda following closely behind eyeing it with a murderous intent. Finally it stopped and threw the boomerang at us. I ducked and ran at the pillar it was standing on and rammed into it, making the baboon fall. Zelda, seeing her opportunity ran to where the monkey lay on the floor and went wild on its butt with her sword. With a screech it jumped back on the pillar, but not before grabbing the boomerang.

This ordeal went on for several more minutes until a final combo attack by Zelda sent the monkey scurrying and I quickly pocketed its weapon. I mean come on, it made little whirlwinds! Who wouldn't take it? Zelda, obviously pleased with what she accomplished today just grinned like a moron. And I managed to keep her away from some explosives so that fight was an especially good one I would have to say.

"Well then Link, let's get going shall we?" Zelda commented in a surprisingly sweet tone. I eyed her and a slight shiver went down my spine as I realized what of sort of position I was in. I was with the Queen of Hyrule, who for some odd inexplicable reason has taken a liking to me (which will save my head no doubt when all of this settles down because technically I still did kidnap her) who was emotionally unstable after long hard years of politics. And an imp who I knew nothing about as well. Cold sweat began to run down my face.

"Link? Link? Earth to Link…LINK!" I jumped as I was hit in the back of the head by Zelda who was staring at me with a cross between an annoyed look and a look of concern.

"Sorry." I muttered. "Just thinking about my imminent death." I explained to Zelda's confused look.

"Keep Zelda away from explosives and you should live." Midna helpfully supplied. Zelda gave a half hearted swing at Midna.

"Shut up. Come on Link, let's go." And with that Zelda gently pulled on my wrist, goddesses forbid I zone out on that again.

XxXxXxXxXxXx

So…many…damn…monkeys. I eyed the room where all the monkeys were holding on to each other's feet to make a giant fuzz ball rope.

"That is so cute." Zelda cooed. I gave a sideways glance toward her before sighing. I had all but learned that Zelda seemed obsessed with animals. That's why she didn't scream out at my wolf form.

"Yea, because a bunch of swinging monkeys are so cute." I muttered as I was rewarded with a swat on the back of the head by Zelda. That seemed her favorite way of punishing me for whatever I did to annoy her or did something 'incredibly stupid' as she put it.

"Shut up Link and come on. Talley-ho!" She growled, no seriously growled, at me. As she jumped on the monkey swing, Midna came out of my shadow.

"She's scarier then you are when you are in your wolf form." Midna noted. "Especially with explosives" She added as an afterthought. I rolled my eyes and jumped on the monkey swing and swung over after Zelda.

Zelda gave me that 'finally' look. I just shrugged in response. We walked through a large door. Inside there were lots of pots. I walked over to one and smashed it and a fairy fluttered out.

"Why the hell are you randomly breaking pottery." Zelda asked me as she eyed the fairy. "Too bad we don't have a bottle or something. Fairies are really helpful in case you die. They bring you back to full health before you died." I grinned and whipped out the bottle I was given back home for catching that ladies freaking cat.

"That will be helpful." I grinned as I used my matrix skills to catch the fairy. Zelda starred at the caught fairy and grinned.

"That was helpful. What other items do you have with you?" She asked me. I laughed sheepishly.

"I swiped the boomerang." I admitted. Zelda however was fine with that.

"Excellent. I was going to as well, but forgot. Good thing you remembered." She strolled toward a large locked door and looked back at me. "You have the key right?" She asked me. I took it out.

"Wonder why it's locked." I mused. Zelda shrugged.

"Don't know, hey Midna, you know why?" Zelda asked, looking down into my shadow. Midna appeared and leaned back.

"The item I need is behind that door, and it's pretty powerful. I don't think there is some large parasite thing or anything of the sort though." Midna mused. Both of us stared at the imp.

"That sounds rather specific." Zelda muttered, taking the key from my hand and unlocking the door. Midna opened it for us as we walked inside. It was a small batch of rather sickly looking grass with a pool of rancid in front of us. Just then the door locked behind us. Well that's usually a good sign… Just then this obscenely large parasite reared from the acid. I was going to kill Midna.

"Holy son of a bitch!" Zelda yelped as she jumped back as one of parasites three heads attacked her.

"Keep away from her!" I growled, whipping out my boomerang as it withdrew its head. I threw it at the monster, as it picked up a bomb and it ate it, the monster ate it. Then it blew up, making its head go limp. Sweet…

"Do that to the other head!" Zelda commanded me. I grinned at her.

"See! This is how you use explosives!" I couldn't resist a jibe at the princess. She rolled her eyes as I got rid of the other the other head. That just left the big head. Just then the mooning baboon appeared carrying a bomb.

"TAKE IT DOWN!" Zelda yelled screaming, pointing at the monkey. I guess she still has it out for the beast. I shrugged. So her love of animals only went so far… I threw the boomerang at the monkey and instead of hitting the thing, it grabbed the bomb and his the giant head, making the thing fall to the ground near Zelda, an eye rolling out of its mouth. Ew.

"AH! EW!" Zelda screamed, slashing at the eyeball with her sword. After a couple of combo hits, the monster reeled back in pain. Well this works…

The battle went on like this. I blowing up the plant, making it fall, Zelda screaming and slashing at the eye. All the while we were dodging the purple acid it splashed up at us. Finally, the thing died and the acid disappeared and the monster turned into this…thingy. Also this giant heart dropped down.

"This is what you are after right? What is it?" Zelda asked, studying the artifact as I studied the heart. Old stuff bores me.

"Yea, it's a piece of the fused shadow. This helmet is also a piece too. There are two more piece around Hyrule." Midna explained. Zelda nodded her head.

"What are you going to do when you get all the pieces?" Zelda asked Midna suspiciously. Midna rolled her eyes.

"Kick Zant's ass obviously. He gave us Twili a bad name…we're not a bad race." Midna sulked. I picked up the heart and walked over the two females.

"Sounds fair enough. We're all on the same side aren't we? Anyways Zelda, you seem to be really smart. What is this thing?" I asked her, showing her the giant heart. Zelda walked over to 

it and touched it as well.

"It raises our health and stamina. These things are really rare." Zelda mused. She then grinned at me. "I'll activate it, so jut keep hanging on ok?" She warned me. She closed her eyes and the heart started to glow and any cuts and injuries I obtained vanished and I felt much stronger then I was before.

"That's going to be helpful I bet." Midna commented. She pointed to a light that I hadn't noticed before. "That will take us to the outside. The next place we have to go is into the Goron Mines." Midna informed us.

"But I'm hungry!" Zelda yelled in frustration as we walked toward the light.

Lethe: Seriousy, why do I always cover?!

Riza: What about me?

Hinata: We were going to do Ed again but that ended in failure.

Sesshomaru: Indeed

Lethe: So did you, what the hell!

Hinata: It was supposed to be Itachi, not you!

Sesshomaru: Was being keyword.

Lethe: Who comes here willingly?

Hinata: People with no lives.

Riza: Obviously