A/N: J-Just shoot me. Please. Because I made you guys wait FOREVER for this chapter. I'm so sorry. I really am. I'll try to be a better author. I'll.. ; A; Well, you get it. I'll try to make this chapter long to please you guys, so just DON'T SHOOT ME. PLEASE.
Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica, although I really wish I did. ; A;
4: Love Only Me
Misaki's POV
It was peaceful. Well, at least until he rung my doorbell. I wasn't going to open it at first, as I really didn't feel well, and I wasn't expecting anyone, but when I got to the door and saw the disheveled mess that he was, I let him in instantly. "Shinobu.. are you okay?" I asked, and he looked at me with one of those 'Does it look like I'm okay?' faces. It was clearly obvious that he was not okay. I really wonder why I even asked. Even though he was my friend, I was questioning him like I was some sort of investigator. Why? Because after he shook his head violently to the last question, I asked another. "What's wrong..?" I asked.
At first, the only thing that he would tell me is that it was a long story, but after a couple minutes of asking why he came here if he didn't want to explain, he gave in. Before I let him explain things, I took him to my room. As soon as we got safely in, he spilled. "I-It's just.. I don't know if Miyagi really loves me. I mean, I know he says he does, but he seems to get so easily ticked off at me.. and he also has this picture of his old teacher, whom he was in love with, and he keeps it with him wherever he goes. I'm not sure if it's because he misses her or just because he used to love her. I don't know anymore," he said, and shook his head lightly. You could tell from the way he looks that he's been worrying about this for awhile now. I got us each some wine, the only drink I could find in this house besides water.
"Have you tried asking him about it? Or even talking to him," I asked, and he shook his head lightly. He was going to explain, but I thought I knew what was wrong. "Is it because you feel weird asking about it? But, then again.. if what you think is true, then you may not want to ask because you're afraid if he finds out that you know that he still loves that person, then he might break it off," I stopped there, looking for some form of answer. He shook his head to the last one, and I frowned lightly. "Shinobu, there'd be no reason for him to play with your feelings like that, though. I mean, you were the one that convinced him that being gay is alright, in the first place," however, since that's true, that also could've meant that he didn't think it alright at all, and he really was just playing with Shinobu. He could've been trying to teach Shinobu a 'lesson'.
We sat in silence as we finished our drinks, and then something unexpected happened. Shinobu had long been cried out, and when I wasn't paying attention, he walked over to me, as before he was on the other side of the room, laying down. He kissed me, and I was shocked. At that point, I knew I liked Usagi, and I didn't want this to ruin my chances with him. "M-Misaki.. C-Can you help me f-forget," he breathed into my ear. You could tell from the way that he was stuttering that he did love Miyagi no matter what, but that he felt so unloved himself. I was about to respond, but he kissed me again and slowly pulled off my shirt. I didn't even try to resist at this point because by then my mind was not working correctly and was set only on trying to prove that my love for Usagi was real before I told him anything. I didn't want to end up hurting him, because even if I didn't love him, I cared about him very much.
The next thing that I remember, I was blinking sleepily and as a quickly shot up out of bed I could see that Shinobu was laying next to me. After recalling what had happened the previous night, I started panicking, but then I heard Usagi call me down and I woke up Shinobu, got dressed, then ran downstairs. "Yes, Usagi? Is there some-- Miyagi. What are you doing here?" I asked, and I didn't try to, but I sounded pretty cocky. He gave me a concerned expression, went to talk, and then stopped himself. It was like he didn't know how to say what he wanted to say, whatever that was.
Shinobu came down the stairs after he was dressed to see that Miyagi had been looking for him. "Shinobu! I'm so glad you're okay. But damn kid, I swear if you scare me like that again I'll kill you." Miyagi threatened. Shinobu blushed and yelled at Miyagi to shut up. Miyagi was thanking me for taking care of the 'brat', even though I didn't really do much, in actuality. When I finally managed to get them to leave, I turned around to see a depressed looking Usagi, which worried me deeply.
I was going to ask, but he just started asking me questions before I could do much of anything. "Misaki, why do you look so flustered? What happened between you two last night? What was wrong with him when he came over?" I was caught off guard by this, and I didn't know how to answer especially since I didn't know some of the answers at all. I didn't remember what happened between us at all, actually, but I think that we did something bad.. I was scared at this point. "Misaki, don't tell me you... you guys... had sex?" I wasn't sure. I just started crying because I was that scared. I didn't want him to hate me. "Misaki...Why did you need him... when you have me? I love you, Misaki."
I looked up at him, and stared into his purple eyes. "Usagi.. I... I'm so glad. I-I like you." Of course, I loved him at this point already, but I couldn't say that. It wasn't one of those 'I'm going to make him wait for me,' kind of things, it was that I just couldn't say it without dying of embarrassment. He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, and started kissing me wildly. I kissed back, and it soon started to feel like our tongues were fighting, and the usual winner was his. So I eventually gave in, and his tongue explored my mouth until we both had to take a breath.
I didn't want to stop what was happening, because even if I wouldn't admit it, it felt really good. My heart, now pounding rapidly, felt like it was a bomb that was about to blow. I think he noticed that as he chuckled lightly and smiled at me, and I blushed. That smile was to wonderful to be true.
I nearly had a heart attack when I heard the doorbell ring. "W-Who is that this early in the morning..?" I said, and he gave me a face that was practically begging me not to answer it, but I had to. It was my brother. "Yes, brother?" I asked him a bit sadly. He looked at me with his ever-so-cheerful face and smiled.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing, Misaki!" I frowned lightly. He had to come then of all times? I loved him a lot, but I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get to finish what I was doing. "Ahh! So I see you're enjoying your time with Usagi?" He asked happily. Yes, I was enjoying very much before he showed up... I was sad.
OKAY, I TRIED TO MAKE THIS LONG, AND I PROBABLY FAILED MISERABLY, AND WE ALL GET THAT. Okay, yeah.. I'm so sorry. I truly am sorry that I haven't updated in forever, but I've been updating my DA a lot.
If I don't update for a long time, you can encourage me here: . C:
In other news, you expected the smex to happen in this chapter didn't you? WELL IT DIDN'T. HAH. You MIGHT get it soon. I've been really depressed lately.. ; u;