Velvet Skies

Chapter Five:

No Tomorrow

X

And their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny

I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying

Are the best I've ever had

Mad World

Tears for Fears

X

I wasn't awake, I knew that much. I was in some universe between the life and death. I think I am unconscious, and if I am I hope I can't feel pain. I'm standing in darkness and it frightens me. I use to be afraid of the dark when I was a little girl until my mother told me the only thing scary about the night was the shadows in our house.

Yeah, um… hey mum, demons are real.

The scariest thing about being along in the dark is when you can't move, but you're very aware of the fact that there's something just beyond reach, and if you could reach out, you would be able to feel that.

I couldn't scream, I mean, I probably could, but I was scared that whatever was on the outskirts of this darkness would be drawn to the noise. I have thee feeling that it's a cat but I'm not sure. Maybe it's Faith, and if she hears me, she'll save me, she'll take me home.

No, it's a stupid thought and I know it.

But you've got to have Faith right? If I could sigh out of self-pity right now I would, but fear kept me clamped still, only small shallows breaths escaping my lips. I won't even lick my lips, or even shape them into a "o" of surprise. I was aware that they were chapped and that I was thirsty, so very thirsty.

Then all feeling of thirst, and want stopped for just a microsecond as my body went in shock and then everything around me changed, the darkness began red from light shinning in my eyes through the skin and I was screaming. It took a second to realise that what I was feeling was pain, it hurt. Like someone had shot me in the stomach and then tried to burn the skin so it would fix its self. Then the pain changed like a thread and needle was weaving through my body, so carefully. I could taste my own blood in my dry throat that had crackled and broke while I was screaming.

I was aware of time now, and I suddenly wondered how long I had been in darkness, it had felt like nothing, just loneliness and pure fear. I don't want to go back, I didn't want to feel the pain, I wanted death, and I longed for it. But not if it was that blackness, I don't want to go back to the void in my thoughts and memories and fear. I may never forget the fear I felt.

But the red was slipping, turning darker and the spots that had been pain were fading black. No, I longed for the pain, I don't want to go back, I'll be good, please god, I'll do anything, I'll be good, I won't do anything, I'll try to be straight, anything you ask, I'll do anything. I'll get married; I'll look after the kid. I'll have the pain for all eternity; just don't make me go back. Please.

"D…"

Wait…something broke the silence, something is out there, but what was it? Come back, please, keep talking don't leave me here. I don't want to remember the pain again; I don't want to feel these feelings. I want to feel confident; I want to feed sacred or at least protected. I need to feel loved.

"Li…"

She's there. She came to save me. I have to escape I have to reach her. I need to reach her.

A sudden whoosh of air hit me and with an abrupt and unexpected force that made my whole body shudder with impulse to survive. My eyes flew open the same instant an electric current hit my heart. I was breathing like I had had the scariest moment of my life, but I don't remember.

"Doctor Harp, check her vitals. Melanie, get me Angel and tell him that she's alive and Smith, water."

There was so much light, so many voices that were speaking to loud. I went to put my hands over my ears before a pair of gloved hands stopped me. "Miss Briggs, you've just had a near death experience, it'd be advised for you not to move, even if that's all your body urges to do. At least not until you're hydrated."

I made a noise, I'm not sure I quite understood what she said, but I knew now that she hadn't been calling for me, she wasn't even here. My eyes darted around the room in hope of seeing at least a flash of her, but no. She wasn't here.

X

I was lying in the hospital bed. I had been where ever I was for three days and only recently do I remember what happened, there were laughter, screams, and then silence. That's all I remember, it was my last memory aside from a flash of fear in darkness, the longing for her. I told Angel that and he nodded, asking if I remember whom I saw.

I didn't.

They took the baby, apparently it only need a few weeks of incubation before it could be placed somewhere else. This narrowed the list of demons from millions to hundreds.

Faith hadn't visited me yet, when I asked about her Angel and Wesley just passed a look between them. I think she left, I think she saved me then she left thinking I was going to die. I'm not sure though, but I think that's what she would do, she didn't like to deal with pain like that, but I hope she at least left my bike.

Who am I kidding she probably took the keys out of my pocket while I was dying and left. That's what she probably did. But I don't want to think she did, so I blocked all feelings about her in a box, I needed to just pretend that it didn't happen, nothing of what I felt, nothing of the night we met, or the months that followed.

"Miss Briggs?" I turned to face the nurse, she smiled pitifully at me and I just wanted to hide at what she showed. I felt so ashamed in the room that I just want to crawl away and die.

"You can check out if you want, the doctors think you're healthy enough to leave now." I nodded and she unplugged the IV before sticking a bandaid over where I had the tube in me. Apparently all my paperwork was filled out and someone had brought over clothes for me.

Jeans and a black v-neck shirt, it felt good to be in them again. I placed my boots and my leather jacket on before I went to where my stuff was; I found the key card I had used to get into her room in my leather jacket, no one had taken it out, or if they had, they placed it back.

I shut the door behind me and went to her room to grab my case of clothes, only to catch my reflection in the mirror. My eyes looked hollow and gaunt and my lips were chapped, broken and pale. I had aged decades from that experience and it disgusted me.

I didn't even here the shower running until the door opened and she came out dripping wet. I stared at her in the eyes, shock etched on both of our faces before I reacted first, I picked up my bag and through it at her, it wasn't very big because I normally just bought new clothes where ever I was.

She caught it and looked at me, "What are you doing here? I thought you left L.A." I screamed at her, it was stupid. I was an adult, I didn't need to feel this way even though it was obvious I did and probably always would react this way in any situation.

"Li-"

"You didn't come and see me, you didn't check on me, you didn't even right a note, you just didn't come."

"I couldn'."

"Why?"

"Because." She screamed and then her voice went smaller, "I almost died in one from Buffy." All anger melted away. Buffy had tried to kill her, I didn't know that, I should have, but I didn't. Now I felt like a bitch but a stubborn part of me just kept talking to her in a low whisper.

"Could have at least given me flowers."

"I hate going near the things." She joked and I laughed, it wasn't like on the beach, there was more bubbly happiness then, but at least there was laughter. I was scared that I'd become numb and I wouldn't laugh.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't, not now, not ever." I wasn't sure if she was referring to killing the mood, or saying sorry to her, but I did know she was dead serious about what she meant. So instead of smiling and looking in her eyes I looked down, then felt the crimson colour reach my cheeks as I realised that she was still naked, wet and her sexy self.

She moved forward, and my body, like a reflex, moved back without me even thinking about it. I remember her telling me that you shouldn't think, you should let your body take control, let it wash over and like a strike of lightning I knew now what she meant.

I could almost hear her smirking as she took another step and my body moved back. "What's wrong Li, why are you moving so fast?" One-step forward, one step back, one step forward, one step back, one step forward bang. Oh crap, a wall. No not a wall, a corner. Shit, shit, shit!

A/N: Ok, it's long, over due and I know I should keep writing it and now I have written another chapter, hooray! Now I shall work on the next, mainly because I feel a lemon coming on… maybe.