The next evening, an outrageously made-up and coiffed Susan, clothed in a fluffy orange, green and purple ensemble, paced furiously in front of the bathroom door. Every once in a while, she paused to listen and then pound on the door.
"Anna, come on! You're not going to get out of this one! Especially now!"
"Why especially now?" Anna's voice called out irritably.
"Because if you're going to go enroll in graduate school at some geeky university next year, you're going to have to take advantage of every serious party opportunity that comes your way before then."
A weary sigh was heard within.
"Since when have I ever taken advantage of 'serious party opportunities'?"
"True," Susan admitted, crossing her arms and echoing Anna's sigh.
At last, Anna emerged, sporting much more conservative attire than her flamboyant roommate. Susan gasped in horror at the sight.
"What happened to the hair?" she demanded, pointing to Anna's hair, which was arranged as usual about her shoulders.
"Oh, get over it, Susan!" Anna growled.
"No! I will not get over it. The deal was the outfit or the hair," Susan insisted, as she held up the screaming yellow vinyl suit she had found for Anna.
"I propose a new deal," Anna suggested in a clipped tone. "No hair and no outfit or no party."
Susan shrugged and tossed the hideous suit over her shoulder. "Whatever. Let's go, we're wasting time."
She took hold of Anna's arm and dragged her out the door. Anna childishly dragged her feet the whole way, but Susan didn't release her arm until they arrived at the front door of her sorority house.
Anna gritted her teeth as she felt the ground beneath her vibrate to the rhythm of the music that pounded within. Susan bounced with excitement and pushed herself through the door into an ocean of feathers, beads and color combinations quite as gaudy as the one she was wearing. Anna soon lost her to the masked crowd and was left to fend for herself.
For a while, she toured the premises, finding some amusement in surveying the costumes. Every now and then, she stopped to speak to someone she knew or to be accosted for her "inappropriate" attire. However, after an hour, she became bored and stepped outside onto the porch to escape the stale air within.
Others, including Susan, apparently had had the same idea and were arranged in various clusters about the porch. Susan, still wearing her orange, feathered mask, was speaking to a tall, strangely clad man wearing a mask that appeared gray and obscure in the smoky, lamp lit darkness. Among the mingled voices, Susan's was distinctly heard, and Anna pricked up her ears to hear her conversation.
"That is so amazing! I would never have come up with that! I don't really think that would apply to me though, because I always got along with my mother. Maybe I was dreaming about my sister. I always fought with her…wait! There's Anna! You should try to figure out some of her dreams. She has some weird ones, and they're always about glowing things. Glowing eyes, glowing trees, glowing jewelry, you name it."
"Susan, what are you talking about?" Anna asked laughingly as she walked over and joined them.
"Anna! This is Gary, a very cool pysch major. He's been interpreting my dreams, and you know what? He tells me I have a lot of suppressed violence to deal with. But now it's your turn!"
"Glowing things, huh?" Gary commented as he blew a ring of cigarette smoke. "What's your major?"
"Physics and French," Anna replied, observing the man with a touch of skepticism.
"Yep, I told ya," Susan whispered loudly in Gary's ear while flashing a teasing grin in Anna's direction. "She's a school nerd. Have fun!" With that, Susan tossed her friend a wink and trotted off to join another group.
Gary looked after her, shaking his head and chuckling, then turned back to Anna. "She'd make for a great case study, you know. I'll keep her in mind when I start my dissertation." When his new companion failed to respond, he continued, "So tell me about glowing things."
"My dreams aren't so different from anyone else's," Anna replied shortly.
"I never implied that they were," he replied with an easy smile that made Anna altogether uneasy. "Well, why don't we humor Susie over there, and you tell me what you've been dreaming about recently."
"Nothing special. Really," Anna said, her discomfort becoming more apparent.
"Okay…so how about these nothing-special dreams?" Gary pressed, smiling slightly at her reserve.
"Well, there was one about being a child I think," she said casually, trying to imitate the man's relaxed nonchalance.
"You 'think'?" the man queried. Anna could almost hear a smirk in his voice.
"Well, I can't really be sure. It was kind of strange. I knew somehow I was a baby in a crib, and I could clearly hear another baby close by, but everything else was vague. The light was all silvery blue, like nothing you would see in real life. Then, I saw this black thing looking down at me."
"Could be an actual memory."
"I doubt it," was Anna's curt reply. "I don't have much of a childhood to remember. I was brought up by the state of New Jersey, so to speak, at least until I was…well, until I became a teenager."
"Yeah, then what?" Gary asked, turning to dump his cigarette ashes on a nearby tray.
"Then I found a family and moved to New York City. I was fortunate because my adoptive parents were very supportive. They made up for a lot of what I had missed."
"So, if they were so great, what made you decide to go all the way to Pennsylvania for college?"
Anna shrugged and looked away uncomfortably.
"Sorry, guess I'm being nosy," Gary said, though Anna could sense he was not particularly regretful.
"It's alright. They passed away during my sophomore year."
"Ouch, sorry again," he murmured. "What happened?"
"I guess you could say old age finally caught up with them."
"Old age?" He frowned, shaking his head. "So were they geezers, or are you just older than you look?"
"A little bit of both, I guess," Anna replied coldly with a strange glint in her eyes.
Gary noticed the change and chuckled. "Okay! Well, I think we both know you didn't spring up out of nowhere, so how do you know that your dream isn't a memory of your real family? A memory that is just now resurfacing? That happens a lot to people. You see or hear something that triggers the memory of some long forgotten event from your past, a memory that your mind has been repressing."
"An intriguing theory," Anna commented, "but I'm a little reluctant to take that particular dream seriously. The black, shadowy person was scary. So what is your diagnosis? What does my dream reveal about me? Suppressed violence like Susan?"
Gary assessed her with a long, measuring look. "No," he said at last, "something's there alright, but it's not violence."
Anna laughed derisively. "Very impressive. Okay, it's your turn. What's with the mask?"
"Hey, I'm not done with you yet!" Gary protested. "What's with the star? Or is it a snowflake?"
"The star?" Anna asked with a look of bewilderment that was immediately followed by a sigh of exasperation when he pointed to the pendant that hung a few inches below the hollow of her throat: a silver star with many rays, set with white gems that reflected the lamplight in beams of blue and gold. "Oh! I should have mentioned it before. It's a relic from the past that my mind's been repressing. Those social workers told me it was the only thing I was wearing when I was found."
She unclasped the necklace and offered it to Gary who examined it with interest. Turning it over in his hand, he brushed a finger over the small engraving there. "What's this? Hieroglyphics?"
"I'm not entirely sure," Anna admitted with a frown. "There's another story behind that, but I won't go into it. Suffice it to say that the social workers stumbled upon someone who could interpret the writing. It stands for Annalië, whatever that means. They all just assumed it was my name and called me Anna ever since. I guess Annalië was a little much for a homeless orphan."
"One soap opera after another," Gary remarked as he returned her necklace. "As for my dreams, we don't need to delve into them. They're just your average I-accidentally-came-to-school-naked kind of dreams."
"No, let's not delve into them," Anna agreed, wrinkling her nose.
At that moment, Susan bounced in between them and eyed each one with curiosity. "So, what d'ya say, doc? Is she hopeless?"
"As far as your opinion is concerned, yes," Gary said.
Weary of her roommate's teasing jabs, however innocently intended, and even wearier of the party, Anna interrupted them, "Susan, I'm going back to the dorm. I need to finish studying for my test tomorrow. Gary, it was nice to meet you." Before Susan could protest, she turned on her heel and strode off the porch and down the sidewalk.
The northern winters had grown steadily colder and the winds steadily harsher over the years, as if the elements were slowly rallying to push her kindred from the North with one final sweep of power.
Morgoth would move soon. She was certain of this. Her heart told her she would never again see a peaceful winter in Dorthonion.
The winds moaned throughout the fortress as if to confirm and augment her chill sense of foreboding. She felt the absence of her lord keenly and longed for his return, but he had left with all the forces at his command to defend his brother whose vague but urgent plea for aid had reached the fortress a few hours earlier.
She leaned out the window of her bedchamber and strained her senses northward to where she knew her husband and his brother were coming face to face with some unknown evil. The winds raised their voices to greet her before their mournful music slowed to a distinct whisper in her ear: Lost…The House of Finarfin is lost…The House of Fëanor will soon follow.
Her will struggled against the truth behind the evil words. In defiance she reached out with all her strength to touch her husband's bright presence, but she could no longer sense him. Nevertheless, she tenaciously searched for him, calling his name frantically into the night, heedless of the possible dangers of doing so. After what seemed like hours, she received some recompense for her efforts, but it was naught but the whisper of a presence, a brief mental caress. A farewell.
Her body collapsed beneath the sudden weight of grief onto the stone floor, and she remained there until she was found by one of her maids. The girl gasped in shock at the sight of her strong, proud mistress lying senseless on the floor, and she hastened to arouse her.
"My lady must have heard," she said in anguished tones. "Lord Angrod is-"
The noblewoman sharply raised her hand to cut her off before she could utter the dread words.
"We must be gone at once, my lady!" her maid urged.
Her mistress did not answer but allowed her maid to help her to her feet. As she did so, a strange light in the distance caught her eyes, and she gazed out her window in fascination as a thread of gold was sewn across the northern horizon.
"It comes, my lady! Do you not see? We must away at once!"
"What is it?" her mistress asked, watching transfixed as the line of gold grew brighter.
"Please, let us go!" Tears fell freely down the maid's cheeks. "Or we will perish as well! Let's go, Anna, let's go!"
"What did you call me?" she asked as she turned to her maid in confusion. She gasped in surprise when she saw that a diminutive girl with short blond curls had taken her place.
"Please Anna, wake up! It's not like you to sleep in on a test day."
Anna jerked her head up at the sound of her friend's voice and looked about her uneasily. Susan stood close by regarding her with a bemused expression. Anna looked down, and the rumpled condition of her textbook and papers told her quite clearly that she had dozed off at her desk while studying.
"At least I think you were sleeping," Susan continued with a smirk. "It's hard to tell because you always sleep with your-"
"I know, I know!" Anna interrupted irritably. "And don't tell me. It always freaks you out, right? Just like my dreams and my memories and-"
"Whoa! You're still mad about last night, aren't you? I was just teasing, Anna. That's what I do," Susan said as she watched her roommate stuff papers into her folder and then dive into her drawers to find something to wear.
"I know," Anna repeated in a less harsh tone. "I don't want to talk about this now, though. As you said, I'm running late. And aren't you supposed to be in P.E.?"
"Nah. I'm not feeling so dedicated today. Maybe next week. Besides, I just got back from the party." Susan nonchalantly plopped herself on Anna's desk, letting her feet dangle back and forth beneath her. A small, mischievous smile played upon her lips as she observed Anna race about the room. "Gary told me he likes you," she declared in a singsong voice. "He said you have a 'genuine air of mystery' that he really digs."
"Genuine air of mystery, huh? Interesting," Anna commented with a sneer as she jerked on a pair of tennis shoes. "And I didn't even need a silly mask to pull it off."
Susan rolled her eyes in exasperation. "No need to get snooty, missy! Save that for the guys at Columbia."
"Will do," Anna retorted, making no attempt to conceal her sarcasm. "I'll see you at lunch, I guess, if I make it through the test." She hefted her backpack and sprinted from the room without looking behind her.
"Oh, don't get all dramatic! You always get so dramatic! You'll do fine!" Susan called after her.
Anna did do fine on the test. In fact, she did better than fine and finished at least fifteen minutes ahead of everyone else. When the professor later returned the tests and praised Anna for receiving another A, she simply shrugged and made a mental note that she performs best under extreme pressure.
When Anna returned to her dorm, she found her roommate fast asleep, still dressed in her masquerade outfit. She shook her head and chuckled at the sight, predicting that it would be at least three o'clock in the afternoon before Susan would roll out of bed and change into something else.
After scribbling a note to Susan, Anna pulled on some gym clothes and left the dormitory in pursuit of her favorite running trail. It wound through a lovely wooded area and led one around the small lake that served as the eastern border of the campus. She had run cross-country during her freshman and sophomore years but was forced to give it up when she took on a second major. However, she still managed to make time nearly every day for at least a three-mile run.
This day though, she opted for a five-mile run. She needed to think. Her increasingly realistic dreams were putting her on edge. As long as she could remember, her dreams had a strange clarity that would either intrigue or terrify her. They often made her feel as if she were seeing a world through another person's eyes, and the world was always a strange one, filled with things she could neither describe nor comprehend.
When she reached a certain age though, her dreams took on a significant change. Whereas before it seemed as if she beheld events of another person's lifetime, Anna began to feel that she herself had passed into the world in which they took place and was living within it. In this world, people identified her by her other name. She had a family and friends, a history… and even a husband. She flushed as she recalled some of those dreams.
Anna had previously attributed her dreams to wishful thinking. They were probably typical among those whose situations in life were similar to hers. However, the dream that had disturbed her slumber the night before had deeply unsettled her. It was not that the dream was particularly frightening. She had had much worse. It was the feelings it had aroused inside her. She felt as if her heart had been truly wrenched from her, and she grieved still. When Susan had accosted her that morning, she responded to her teasing with a sharpness that proceeded from the bitter pain of loss.
The loss of what? My dream husband? Anna thought, deeply frustrated with the folly of her feelings. Susan's right. I'm letting myself get way too tense, and now it's to the point that I'm approaching insanity. Perhaps I should look Gary up and talk to him about getting myself committed.
Anna had immersed herself so deeply in her thoughts that she failed to notice a small, yellow caution sign and heedlessly passed it by. The angry voice of a school maintenance worker reached her ears and jarred her back to the present.
"Hey girl! You just plowed through my wet cement! Didn't you see the sign? I thought you had to be able to read before you got to college!"
Anna spun on her heel and favored the man with a withering look. "What are you so angry about? I didn't leave a single mark! The cement must already be dry!"
The man turned to examine the cement and found that it was indeed without even a hint of a footprint. Scratching his head in bewilderment, he gingerly tapped the toe of his shoe on the cement and then cursed when he left a prominent mark.
Anna shrugged and continued down the trail at a furious pace.