A/n. hi everyone! This is another instalment of twilight: new plot. As you may have noticed, this is no longer a one-shot. But we just love humiliating the characters in this book sooo much that we thought we'd carry on. Just a notice, we don't want any flames! If you don't like it, then don't read it! Simple! This story is during BD while Bella is Prego with our dear sweet Nessie. This one is written in a script.
Disclaimer; again we still don't own twilight, but we did win an award the other day for killing the most producers in our minds.
Bella's pregnant, RUN FOR YOU LIVES!!!
(Emmett is skipping through the house in a pink mini-dress searching for Edward. He finds him under the stairs, curled up in a ball, dry-sobbing and rocking back and forth. Emmett drags him out, Edward is covered in some sort of weird food.)
Emmett: (In weird high-pitched voice) hi Eddy Weddy Freddy Ceddy Beddy Deddy Meddy Seddy Teddy!
Edward: Emmett?
Emmett: (stomps foot and makes a tantrum) No, no, no! my name is Emmettelda and I'm your new sister. I took Bella's hormone pills!
Edward: well that explains the dress.
Emmettelda(?): why were you sobbing and why are you covered in gloop?
Edward: b-b-b-b-b-Bella! (starts sobbing again)
Emmettelda: What happened?
Edward: S-s-s-she had a c-c-c-craving.
Emmettelda: What for this time?
Edward: Bears liver with chocolate sauce and peanuts with lobster ice-cream and sprinkles.
Emmettelda: didn't she like it?
Edward: She would have done but I forgot the sprinkles. She smashed the plate over my head, then sat on me for about an hour before throwing me out the room, and boy is she heavy! She's like a fucking walrus in the form of a human
Emmettelda: OMG! Dude, you can NEVER forget the sprinkles. You got off lightly, remember what happened to jasper?
(scene moves to upstairs where jasper is in a white room, rocking back and forth with a big hole in his head)
Jasper: Never forget the sprinkles… never forget the sprinkles or gun goes…… BANG!
(scene moves back downstairs)
Edward: Yeah, I remember. He keeps trying to kill himself you know. He watched Dracula the other day and thought the sun would kill him.
Emmettelda: oh yeah, I remember. He didn't die, just scared the shit out of that squirrel that keeps stalking me.
Bella: (from the other room) oh boys! I'm hungry!
(both boys squeal like little girls and dive under the stairs hugging eachother)
Edward: Emmettelda! That dress is sooo soft!
Emmettelda: I know, Alice designed it.
Edward: I gotta get me one!
End!