1The Twilight Saga and its characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer

3.

When I decided to leave my family my first thought was to go to Volterra. If I could not be with Bella why not ask for oblivion? But, I had already made this agreement with myself. I would wait until Bella's life was over. I cringed at the thought, but in sixty or seventy years I would make the trip to Italy. Until then I would find the will to live knowing that, somewhere in the world, she would be happy.

If I was being honest with myself, I also did not fully believe that I would never go back to Forks. Just to check on her. That's what I would tell myself. I wasn't ready for that now. If I was anywhere near her I would be undone. I would beg and grovel at her feet and hope that somewhere in her heart she might find forgiveness for what I've put her through. No. I could not go back now, but maybe someday. I would hold on to that hope. To watch her sleep, to hear her spoken dreams. I would hope for the strength to someday see her from the shadows. A specter, a ghost.

I then considered finding a deserted island somewhere and allowing myself to do nothing but wallow in my despair. With no one around to disturb me with their thoughts I could truly surrender to my misery. But, this idea was so pathetic it was offensive to me. If Bella did ever think of me, I would prefer to be somewhat worthy of her memories.

So, I decided to go to Denali. Laurent had gone there in the midst of our ... encounter ... with James. I wanted to pay him a visit. Specifically I wanted to find out more about Victoria. Her hand in those events had nearly led to Bella's death and I was not as forgiving as my family may think. The idea of finding her, and ripping her limb from limb, almost made me smile.

As I ran through the wilderness I realized that I saw nothing, felt nothing. Running like this used to be a source of release for me, but now it was empty.

About five miles out from the house I caught a scent that did not belong, but familiar all the same ... Victoria. I picked up my pace and was greeted by Kate once I came in sight.

"Is everything alright Kate? Where are Irina and Tanya?" I demanded. My muscles tense and venom flowing in my mouth.

I heard her thoughts before she could speak them. I relaxed a little as I knew my family was safe.

"They're fine Edward. They're hunting," she answered, placing her hands on my shoulders. "What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Was there a woman here by the name of Victoria? She's a friend of Laurent and ..."

"Yes, she was here three days ago," she interrupted. "She stayed for only an hour or so. She said she needed Laurent to help her locate an old friend. He left with her and said he would be back within a few weeks." Kate was truly concerned now. Her forehead was creased and her eyes dark. "Is he in some kind of danger? Should I go find my sisters?"

I laughed. I never would have ventured to be concerned about Laurent's safety. Now I considered it was possible Victoria may harbor ill will towards him for abandoning James in his hunt.

"No, no. I have no reason to believe he is in any danger." I smiled at her knowing that she was still shaken by my sudden appearance and forceful questions. "I'm sorry I startled you Kate. It is wonderful to see you."

"I am always pleased to see you Edward. But .. I must say ... you look ... awful. Has something happened to you? Do you need my help?" She dropped her hands and backed away from me, slightly. Her pale face was still shadowed in worry.

I was torn. Kate had always been a great comfort to me. We conversed easily and her thoughts were always honest and good natured. She was beautiful of course, as most vampires are, but she cared little of her looks or of what people thought of her. She was straightforward, to a fault, but never malicious or even unkind. The idea of sitting with her and telling her of all the events that had passed in the last month was appealing, but I knew I would not.

"I'm fine," I lied and forced a smile on my face. "The truth is I had come here to speak with Laurent in regards to Victoria. I was surprised by the fact she had been here so recently. I need to ... speak with her."

I did not like lying to Kate as I was always certain she saw through me. She looked at me for a long moment before speaking. Her thoughts were battling between forcing me to tell her what was really going on, or simply telling me what I needed to know without protest. She decided on the latter. The last time she had seen me I was troubled, but this was different.

"She mentioned going to Texas. Somewhere called Green River Ranch."

"Was Laurent going with her?"

"No. He was headed somewhere in Canada I think, but I wasn't clear on that," she grimaced. "He assured Irina that he would be back as soon as possible."

Her thoughts circled around Laurent and Irina and I realized that they had developed some sort of relationship. Kate did not approve, as she thought Irina's attachment had become much stronger than his. She saw the understanding on my face as I read her thoughts.

"That's why Tanya took her hunting," she continued. "She thought it would be a distraction. They'll be back soon if you would like to wait and speak with them."

I knew I could not stay. Victoria had already put three days of distance between us and I needed to close the gap quickly. Also, Tanya's thoughts were less than pure in regards to me and I would rather avoid that discomfort.

"No, I will need to be going. I'm sorry. I know it's horribly rude of me. Please give my regards to Tanya and Irina. I will try to make my way back soon so we can have a proper visit."

Kate suddenly closed the distance between us, wrapped her arms around me and whispered in my ear, "Cousin, I know you are in great pain. I will not pretend to understand, but always know that I am here for you." She dropped her arms and headed back for the house.

I stood for a moment, overcome by her concern and love for me.

My life had turned on to an unfamiliar path and, once again, I was faced with a new challenge. Tracking.