V-chan - I believe I promised you guys that someone would try and fight their way out of this right? Well, the poor victim is...
Emily - Ooh! Can I say it?
V-chan - Sure
Emily - yay! Well, the poor looser is, JASDEBI!!
V-chan - Before we begin,
Emily – Someone get up here to do the disclaimer! And it better not be Allen, Kanda, OR Lenalee.
V-chan – How bout Rhode?
Rhode – What do I get out of it?
Emily – You can keep the doll we put in your room,
V-chan - and we'll let you outta here first.
Rhode - Deal! Well, D.Gray-man doesn't belong to V-chan or Emily, because if they did, Koumi would have two accomplices in his inventions.
Both – Damn! You read our minds! Good job!
Rhode – Thank you!
Note
"speak"
'thought'
(notes)
Ch 5 Lemme Outta Here!
Well, it's been rather eventful staying in Emily's dimension. Of course a majority of Noah's were complaining, but most of them learned to shut up about it really quick, or get their faces bashed in by Emily's n00binatior frying pan or scythe and V-chan's Dark Gloves.
The exorcists on the other hand, didn't mind. Yes, even the ever nomadic Cross didn't mind. Why would he? They let him drink as much booze as possible before V-chan cured his hangover with her 'gloves', then let him drink even MORE booze, WITHOUT consequences. That made him happy enough to not be pissed off and 'train' Allen (i.e. throwing him at a mob of Akuma or Noahs then yelling about the shitty job Allen's doing, WHILE Allen's fighting and Cross is sitting on the sidelines drinking booze).
Allen was just happy that his Master didn't 'train' him, or rack up debts. Although he didn't condone the drinking, as long as he (Allen) didn't have to pay for anything, he was fine.
Of course, everyone was curious about their 'kidnappers'. They barely knew anything about them, just that they were crazy (Koumi didn't mind that), curious, and had anti-akuma weapons, but didn't care for either side.
They were all eating breakfast, and seperated into two halves, although Cross and the Earl sat in the middle.
Seating went like this:
Rhode Tyki Lulubelle Jasdebi Skin Cross Allen
Earl
Bak Koumi Lenalee Kanda Lavi Krory Miranda
Suddenly, Emily's voice could be heard throughout the place.
"Good morning little idiots!" Emily yelled.
Tired sighs and grunts were her reply. Except for the Earl.
"Good morning Emily-chan." chimed the Earl.
"I said good morning dammit! Now all of you except the Earl, who was the only one who said good morning say good morning you good for nothing brats!" Emily yelled, again.
"Good morning." everyone else chorused.
"Good, now go into the main room. Be there in ten minutes. Failure to comply will result in mysterious happenings in no way linked back to me." she boomed.
Emily Turned off the speaker and giggled like a school girl.
"Man this thing is awsome, I should use this for school!" cackled the blond.
Everyone dashed in. Hey, if Emily or V-chan had anything to do with the mysterious happenings, someone might end up dead!
Question room
Everyone was seated, and waiting for Emily and V-chan, who weren't there yet.
Finally, the two girls showed up, with a giant wheel that looked like the wheel of fortune.
Being the people to always speak their mind, Jasdero and David once again started asking questions.
"What's that stupid," "retarded looking" "Thing?" they asked (in order, Jas, debi, both).
"Well, prisoners, we have decided that you know too little about us. As such, we will allow you to ask questions. It can be directed at either of us. The wheel is used to choose the speaker." V-chan said.
"Oh yeah! And you can ask as many questions as you want, not at one time of course." Emily added. She was holding what looks like Pocky. (DONT TOUCH OUR POCKY OR YOU DIE!)
Its like the freaky girls read their mind! Everyone didn't know whether to be frightened that they thought of this EXACT day, or excited since they could use this to figure out how the girls' brains work.
"Who's going first?" Krory asked.
"Hm, LET'S SPIN THE WHEEL!" V-chan screamed, and she spun the wheel rather hard.
...
...
...
The wheel wouldn't stop! Then they finally realized someone was humming.
It was Emily humming THE SONG Jeparody!
Finally, the wheel stopped.
It landed on...
Allen.
"Okay Allen, your question please." Emily said.
"Um... Okay." he answered uncertainly. There were millions of things he wanted to ask. He just went with the first one that entered his mind.
"Do you side with the exorcists or akuma?" he asked. That was the million dollar question on their minds, or at least one of them.
"Hm, we don't side." they said simultaniously.
"Quite frankly, we just care about who dies." Emily added.
"Like for me, if the Earl, Allen, or Lavi die, I'd probably kill their murderers." Emily said.
"True. If Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, Rhode, or Tyki died, I'd do the same." V-chan added.
"Although, if Allen and Lavi died, well, let's just say you wouldn't wanna be them." Emily added.
That answer shocked them. They only cared about who dies! Everyone of the non-mentioned characters were slightly put out.
"Okay, onto the next question!" V-chan yelled. Emily spun the wheel, which landed on...
Tyki.
"Okay, Tyki, ask your question." Emily stated WAY too nicely. (V-chan - something's off here)
Tyki was thrown off by Emily's tone, but asked his question anyway, a bit with a bit more fear.
"Okay, how do you imagine yourself dying? And don't hurt me." Tyki said, and looked around to make sure nothing was trying to kill him. Nothing was, for now.
"Hm, well, first of all, what makes you think we're alive?" V-chan asked. THAT unnerved most of the people. (as we love doing)
"Well, I think the last time I died," Emily said. She saw the weird looks the DGM cast was giving her.
"Reincarnations people! Anyway, I think my last incarnation got hit by some moving automobile. I could've sworn I saw a flying tire. After that, I took control of a policeman and shot the stupid driver, and then I went to DUNKEN DOUGHNUTS TO GET ME SOME DOUGNUTS CAUSE THEY'RE AWSOME" she finished. Everyone but V-chan looked at her oddly.
"Hm, well, I think my last life ended because of some douchebag pushing me into the street when a car came up and hit me. I was so pissed at the guy that I came back as a ghost, possessed some hitman and shot him. V-chan said.
Everyone gave her odd looks, well except for Emily. Emily was to busy working on her paddle ball.
Majority of exorcists looked sick, pale, and shocked. The minority was either indifferent, or didn't care(Kanda and Cross obviously).
The Noahs looked like they were either amazed that two girls would die and then kill their murderers, or indifferent. The Earl just thought that the girls were geniuses.
"Okay, I hope Tyki was satisfied with his answer. Let's spin the wheel again." Emily said. V-chan spun the wheel and it landed on
Jasdebi.(Didn't wanna waste space ya know!)
"Kay, since Jasdebi is two people, they can ask two questions." V-chan said.
"Excellent. Well, what are your fears?" Jasdero asked.
"Hm, I'm afraid of... Hoshino-sensei discontinuing the manga, cuz that'd be sad." V-chan said with tears in her eyes.
"I know! Well besides that, I'm afraid of WHITE PORK BUNS." Emily said.
Everyone looked at Emily as though she lost her mind... but that happens often
"Really, then where do you live" David asked.
"Somewhere." they chorused.
"Seriously!" Jasdebi yelled.
"Fine, your mom!" Emily yelled. V-chan just nodded in agreement.
"AUGH! IF WE STAY HERE, WE'LL GO INSANE!" Jasdebi yelled.
"Good. That's the point." V-chan said.
"LEMME OUTTA HERE!!" Jasdebi yelled.
They tried to attack Emily, but Emily used Loki to get around them and slashed at the twins' back.
Then, the twins merged and tried to shoot V-chan, but she activated her innocence and punched them. Emily had ten, ten-feet thick walls one behind each other, and Jasdebi crashed through all of them.
V-chan transported right in front of Jasdebi and hit them towards Emily, who slashed them right back at V-chan, who hit him back, and so on and so forth.
All the while, the other 'guests' were looking on, some in mild horror, some not even caring. The best reaction though, came from Krory, who was laughing and cheering throughout the entire 'presentation'. Yes he was bitter, the stupid brats almost killed him. Kanda and Cross were obviously the ones who didn't care.
The Noahs, had a mixed reaction. Rhode and Tyki were neutral, since the two ARE Noahs, but total pains in the ass. Lulubelle didn't care at all, little vermin those two are. Skin was watching in amusement while eating non-tainted candy V-chan gave him. The Earl, well he just watched sipping Earl Grey tea.
Finally, the two slightly insane and sadistic girls stopped thrashing the twin Noahs. Of course, the twins weren't without bruises.
On the contrary, the twins were seperated and lacerated with slashes and large black bruises the size of a basketball. Their faces had so many bruises that their face looked black and bulgy. There were three large bumps on their head, courtesy of V-chan, and a large scar on their back thanks to Emily.
"I feel better, don't you?" V-chan asked Emily.
"Yep. How bout you dumbasses?" Emily asked.
"What was that for?" Jasdebi cried in tandem.
"For being annoying, stupid," V-chan started.
"retarded," Emily continued.
"and trying to escape when we TOLD you anyone who tried to escape would get hurt." they finished in unison.
Everyone else stared at the twins and back at the hosts. It was incredible. They (excluding Cross) couldn't really believe that two innocent looking girls could nearly kill NOAHS. At least, until they realized that these girls were EVERYTHING but ordinary.
"Okay, Jasdero and Debbitto are examples of what we will do to ANYONE who tries to leave forcefully." V-chan warned.
"Yeah, only we will not go as EASY on you as we did them." Eimly added.
"What the hell, were you guys even serious!?" Jasdero yelled.
"We were slightly serious." Emily said.
"If we were REALLY SERIOUS, you'd be sleeping with the fishes." V-chan added.
"Okay, any other questions for us?" Emily asked.
Lenalee asked, "Um, how did you find your innocence?"
"Uh, it's really personal, so I'm not telling." said V-chan.
"Uh... funny story really haha well I was at the park throwing rocks at the Hudson River until something caught my eye, it was a SHINY rock, when I picked it up it materialized into my friend here Loki... and yeah that's about it." said Emily.
"Are you guys related? Because you guys seem like twins." Lavi said.
"We are not related little Bookman Junior. Although we count ourselves as related in all but blood and appearance." V-chan said.
"Yep!" Emily said.
"But you two dont look alike at all," began Kanda.
"Shut up, she's Chinese and I'm Irish. You got a problem with that?!" screamed Emily.
"What is does Emily want to do when she's older?" asked the Earl.
"Become a Manga artist." Stated the Blond.
"What's your favorite thing to do?" asked Cross. Emily dropped her mouth, V-chan looked shocked.
"HOLY CRAP, HE SPEAKS!" screamed Emily.
"I thought he'd just ignore us unless he had a hangover." V-chan said.
"Answer the question." stated the General. The blond idiot did a mocking salute to the General.
"Drawing, eating, dancing, spending time with V-chan, going on the internet, playing cards, cooking, playing pranks, throwing my n00binator frying pan at people, torturing people, being random, making people laugh and READING MANGA!!" screamed Emily who said all those things in a matter of twelve seconds.
"Hm. Reading fanfiction, writing fanfiction, watching D.Gray-man, reading D.Gray-man, hanging out with Emily, going online, cooking, being random, torturing people, daydreaming, oh, and learning Japanese." V-chan said in ten seconds.
Cross was satisfied.
"Um, are you gonna kill us?" Krory asked.
"No. We might make you half-dead though." Emily said.
"Oh! That reminds me, I need to heal the dumbasses." V-chan said.
She walked over to the disheveled, half-dead twins and activated her innocence. Luckily for the Noahs, they either reigned in their urge to destroy innocence or were unconscious and couldn't do anything. V-chan had one finger break down for each of the twins and whispered, "heal".
All of a sudden, the twins were as good as new. V-chan got her fingers back and deactivated her innocence before picking up the twins, and dropping them in a pile of sharp, pointy objects that Emily accidentally materialized.
"OW!" the twins yelled. Emily mistaken the sharp pointy objects for fire poured Water on them.
"HEY!"
"oops" was the blonds college level answer.
"What was that for?!" screamed the Twins who were now sore, covered with sharp pointy objects AND water.
"... Accident?" another one of Emily's college level answers.
"Oh we'll give you an accident..." began the twins.
"BREAK IT UP! You guys are fine anyway, although you'll be sore for a while." V-chan said. Emily poured more water on them.
"Stop it!" screamed the two Noah's, Emily giggled. That time was on purpose.
"Well, that's all the time we have, so go eat dinner and sleep. You'll probably be here for like, two to four more days." Emily said.
Everyone got up, and the hostesses disappeared.After dinner, everyone went to their rooms. They all wondered what would happen next, before they fell asleep.
"Well, this is boring. Let's give them nightmares!" said Emily with a smile of a child seeing Christmas.
So, V-chan and Emily gave everyone but Cross and the Earl nightmares. They were in Hell, and being tortured by the two.The affected people all shivered at the same time as the girls laughed evilly.
V-chan - Sorry about the wait. I was swamped in work, and I was lazy. -.-; Gomen, gomen.
Emily - Yeah sorry. I had English finals on 6/18, and I was brain dead for a while.
V-chan - Well, we're very sorry. I'll try and update this at least three other times besides this if I can survive my summer schedule of dance class and japanese class once a week, a four-week summer camp, and a one week trip to Disneyland.
Emily - That's a lot of stuff.
V-chan - I know.
Both - Well, Sayonara!