Ŧ Ella.

Why did James have to show up now when I was having a very interesting conversation? Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! I put my phone away, then I suddenly picked it out of my pocket then flipped it back open and checked in the recent caller's list.

Tom

504-6620

8:28 PM Call Ended : 8:38PM

I looked at the name I added him under. He was the only person I knew who was named Tom, so I didn't think putting his last name would really matter. I didn't know why, but I just wanted to sit there and look at his caller ID.

Addam came running into the kitchen expecting his dinner since mom and Justin both have doctor's appointments. I quickly picked up the black glass plate in front of me with macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets on it and I handed it to him without a word. He looked up at me quickly, before running back into his room.

"Thanks Ells, oh, James is in the foyer. He's waiting for you ..." he said as he quickly took the plate and ran back down the hallway to his room. With a reassuring slam of the door, I knew he was already safe in his room. Good.

I had such a headache on the way home about Tom and what Sarah said to me, I already took an Ibuprofen and my head still didn't feel any better. You get the feeling where you want to load up more and more so that the pain would just go away? Yup, that's so me right now, and James wasn't going to make it any better.

I met him about six months ago in my English class. He's a very serious person, who never likes to have any fun what so ever. His type of fun is going to see a play or something. Not really my type, I don't even know how we got to going out. He speaks his mind constantly, not really caring what anyone thinks of him. Or his opinion. Whether it's a piece of art or a book he was evaluating or somebody's outfit they were wearing. He always has to get his opinion in, and it always has to be the right one.

Stupid, I don't even know why I hang out with these people. When I really think about all their faults and what they could do to me if I trusted them enough, I don't think that my reputation would be very safe, not that it is now.

I was on the computer looking up information on none other than Tom. I walked over and looked at my three windows that were open. I rubbed my hair with a towel, like I said to Tom I was out in the rain a few minutes ago. I looked at my tabs. One was Teen Idols, and it had his entire biography listed along with Bills. I'm not trying to be nosey, it's just I want to know a little more about him. I love Tokio Hotel, but I've never really got a chance to learn about Tom's background.

Date of Birth

1 September 1989, Leipzig, German Democratic Republic

Okay so he's a little older than me, by what a year? I sighed and quickly scrolled down a little farther so that I could get some info in before James took up all my time.

Birth Name

Tom Kaulitz-Trümper

So, his parent's are divorced, his mom remarried too. Interesting. It would be interesting to see what he was like when he was a kid, to actually know him then. I bet that would be a treat, please note the sarcasm.

Height

5' 11¾" (1.82 m)

Stupid tall person. I'm only 5' 2, so it doesn't really matter. I kept on scrolling down and I could hear James pacing in the foyer rapidly. Just a little more time.

Trade Mark

His dreadlocks.

I smiled at my mental image of Tom with his dreads smiling at me like he did today. I needed to check one more thing, just hold on James.

Enjoys partying, hip hop, music, girls and graffiti. Figures that he mentions girls in this catagory.

Bilingual: English and German.

In my opinion an important part of a relationship and extremely beautiful. - on sex

BRAVO: Have you ever said 'I love you "?
Tom: No, because I have never felt that way ... Same here here buddy . . .

BRAVO: Would you leave Tokio Hotel for a great love?
Tom: I think one thing has nothing to do with each other. Tokio Hotel are the most important thing in my life and every girl by my side should understand this. However, in this period is difficult to have a girl because we are always on the go.

She should be extremely spontaneous and funny. I should be able to have an exciting time with her and well, she should have a nice outfit, nice clothes. One should simply be on the same wavelength and of course I should like her outer appearance. - on how his perfect girl should be like

Figures. All that information right there is telling me not to get envolved with him at all. The part about the sex is interesting though, he constantly show off and talks about how much he's gotten or had compared to the others. Like that little red button that you get told not to push but you push it anyways . . .

My view on sex however, is terrible. There are certain rules to be obeyed before somebody has sex with me at all. Number one they should leave when its over and not leave a number because I will not call them what so ever. Number two I don't care about them. At all. Those two rules comply to all one night stands, which so far in my life I have had four, not counting the guy who was my first. Tom and I probably have this catagory in common more than anything else.

His perfect girl however, is so general. When I read that description I automatically think of blonde, dumb and that show Girl's Next Door. It's all so interesting how his views are so different than most peoples. I closed out the window and went over to the next one, I looked at all the pictures of him that I found.

I'm not trying to be a stalker, it's just that he's so intreaguing. He hardly ever smiles in any photos, he always looks so sad. Most rock stars do that, don't smile when they take a picture to try and look tough. But there's just something about his eyes, they just look so sad. I dunno, I'm fooing myself into thinking these things. I think. I closed out the other windows and got up from the computer. Why am I getting so envolved in this Tom business anyways? He sleeps with girls for fun, he is so not for me. Just get him out of my mind! UGH! I threw my towel on the computer chair in anger, causing it to turn in circles. Stupid Tom.

I sighed and started through the kitchen and living room to the foyer, where James was already waiting on my steps for me. James is the only boy that I really had a serious relationship with, like, serious relationship. It was different, considering the last guy I went out with got what he wanted and then totally left me . . . well, technically I left him, I felt suffocated in that relationship. I was really hoping that James wasn't like that, and so far, he wasn't. But you never know, some guys can put on a good show.

"Hey Ells, why didn't you get my call?" Shit. I sat down next to him on the last step and pulled my phone out of my pocket. What should I say? That I was on the phone with somebody else? Or should I just tell him the truth? Na, I like my first opion better.

"I was on the phone with Kasterina, she wanted to make sure that I was okay after my little thing with Sarah.'' Okay, now I've said a little too much. He's going to ask me a lot more about it now and he's probably going to call Kasterina to make sure. Ugh, I've done it now!

"What did Sarah say now, huh? You gotta stick up for yourself, hun. Or else she'll walk all over you." His blonde wave moved as he patted me on the back and I quickly put my phone down on the step beside me.

"I know, I know, she said something about the people I'm going to meet tomorrow. But I said I didn't really care and stuff, and I do too stick up for myself!" I crossed my arms and I glared at him. Who was he to tell me that I had to stick up for myself, I'm not stupid I already knew that!

"Ella! Can you come here! I spilled something!" I heard Addam yell from the other room. Ugh, I swear, that boy cannot go a second without spilling something or tripping and falling not that I can say that much about myself but still. I looked at James and he smiled and patted me on the back.

"Go, before it stains." He smiled and I nodded and got up and ran up the stairs to Addam's bedroom.

"Addam, go get a towel . . . "I started as I walked into his room and saw he had spilled only water on the floor. I hit myself in the forehead and started laughing. Addam stared up at me.

"Honey, it's only water, it'll be fine. Don't worry, just get a towel and cover it up." He smiled and nodded and I walked out of the doorway and back to the top of the stairs. Looking down, I see James looking through my phone that I left on the step beside me. Shit I didn't realize that I left it there, I thought I remembered to pick it up. I start to walk down the stairs to him and I sit by him again on the step, trying to completely ignore that he has my phone.

"Heh, he spilled only water, it'll dry.'' I laughed as I pretended to realize that he had my phone and that I didn't. "Oh, there's my phone, I was looking for it in my pocket and there it is!" I grabbed it out of his hands and shoved it back in my pocket again. Hopefully he wasn't going through my recent calls, cause he'd see Tom's number at the top.

"My older brother Toby did that once and he flipped out too," He said as I got up to go to the kitchen again. I turned around when he grabbed my wrist and I looked at him, glaring. I never thought that he would be this aggressive, he has never touched me like this, let alone had the balls to grab me.

"I'm going to miss you when you leave ..." He said standing up, still gripping my wrist tightly. He was a little bit taller than me, not by much though, but I still had to look up to see his face. My eyes widened and I stepped backwards a little, trying to break free.

"You won't go running off with another guy, right?" Damn, he did look through my call history. I didn't know what to say, I had never been threatened before like this, at least not by someone this close to me. He thought I was going to run off with Tom, and so what if I did? Not likely though. But he wouldn't have anything to say about it, he can't even speak up when we go through a drive through.

"No, why would you think that?" I asked, trying to stray him off the subject of Tom or any other boy for that matter. I didn't want him to find out, it could crush our whole relationship.

"I just don't want you thinking of anyone else but me, okay?" He chuckled and let go of my wrist. I walked quickly into the living room and bent down pretending to get something out of the lower cupboards. I looked at my small wrist, red marks were around and under my hand and you could see finger marks a little on my skin. He really tried to hurt me, he wanted to cause me pain.

"Ella?"

I perked up immidiately and got up from the lower cabnet. James was sitting at the kitchen island now and was staring at me when I came back up from the floor.

"I just wanted to see if Addam put the dishes away correctly. So that when I open the door they don't all come falling out on me when I open them up later." I said waving my hand in the air, trying to make it like it was nothing. He raised an eyebrow and then motioned me over to him. It took me a minute, but I finally walked over to him and sat down on the stool next to him. He grabbed my hand and put it on the counter and interlocked his fingers with mine and pulled me into his lap. He was sweet when he did these little things, but I just couldn't help but feel the sting in my wrist as he did it.

"I'm really going to miss you . . ." He sighed as he played with our fingers on the counter. I sighed, remembering that I was going out of town in two days. I was leaving for a whole year to be with a band that I hardly knew, and was going to work for them. Leaving everyone I loved and cared about behind, including James.

"Yeah . . . Me too."