A/N: Here's the 7th chapter, and let's just say that it's the most dramatic one, yet. Seriously. We thought this story was missing some drama and, as usual, we didn't know what to do, so we just brainstormed until ding a flashing light bulb appeared above our heads and an idea was born. (Hallelujah!) Yup. It's going to be totally unexpected. I don't think we even saw this coming.
We'd like to thank the following people for reviewing: Emo Alchemist, sasusaku779, sasusaku0129, Bunny-Chan The Kick-Ass Ninja, VivaDiva, Kirei na yukki, SasuSaku Forever and Ever, ChristinaAngel, the blanket, Riropin, Sailormoonloverlol, lalagirl555x, ShikaGirl1990, Akemi Akira, xkissxdeathxbrex, luna starz, mybloodyday, HoshikoK, HannahsaurusRexLovesKiba, and lumierediva
Previously on Teaching Me-
I stared at her, almost mad she'd even say something like that, but then I reminded myself this was some made-up guy we were talking about. Not Sasuke.
"Why can't someone his age actually like me?" I asked, wanting to get their view on the situation.
"Because men his age want experienced girls, and you're, well, inexperienced," Hinata said, a faint flush on her cheeks.
"Is that what you really think?" I said. "How about you Naruto?"
"I'm with Hinata on that one. Sak, what if this guy wants to take advantage of you? I'm not going to let that happen. I'll tell your dad if I have to," he said.
"No!" I said. "No, don't do that. The case will be over by next week anyway. And I'll never see him again."
"Good," Naruto said. "All's well that ends well."
"Yeah," I said absent-mindedly. My own friends don't understand. And I fear they never will.
Chapter Seven
Those two weeks during which I was separated from Sasuke were unbearable. Oh sure, I had an awesome time in Sicily, but there were times when I just wanted to run into the comfort of his arms. I missed him terribly. The e-mails we constantly sent each other were not enough. I wanted to be with him- in his embrace, smothering him with kisses.
I have it bad, don't I? Real bad. And I don't know how to escape from my longing for him; escape from my thoughts of him. I'm a fool, obsessed with my love for Sasuke. But I can't help it. I've never been in love before and (as cliché as it sounds) I love being in love. It's such a wonderful, overwhelming feeling.
On Christmas day, I woke up to a surprise. I heard a knock on the door and went to open it. There was a deliverer with a big bouquet of red roses in his hands. "Are you Sakura Haruno?" the man asked with a thick Sicilian accent.
"Yes," I replied as he handed me the beautiful bouquet.
"There's a note as well," he said, taking out a white envelope from his pocket. My name was written on the front of it in a familiar handwriting.
"Thank you," I said as I grabbed that too. "Can you wait here a moment?" The deliverer nodded his head. I walked to the small hotel kitchen and placed both the roses and envelope atop the counter and grabbed my purse that was lying there. I walked back to the door and gave the man a generous tip.
"Thank you," I said again with a smile. Then I closed the door. I ran to the kitchen counter and buried my face in the roses, taking in their fresh, lovely scent.
Then I grabbed the white envelope and quickly opened it, anxious to read its contents inside. My dad was still sleeping in his room, so I risked quietly reading it aloud to myself.
Dear Sakura,
Merry Christmas, darling. I know I can't be with you right now, but I hope the roses make up for my absence. Do you like them? You mentioned once that red roses were your favorite. I wish I could see your smile when you finally receive them. That alone would be a satisfying gift for me- your beautiful and enchanting smile. I miss you more and more each passing day and, can you believe it, it's even started to snow here. Just a little, though. It's more like white, slippery mush than snow actually.
As I'm writing this, it's about ten at night and I'm sitting on my couch watching a Christmas special on TV. It's true, they really do make you feel better. And I hope this letter and the roses make your Christmas even better.
Yours, Sasuke
I held the letter to my heart and closed my eyes, picturing him in my mind. Yes, I could see him writing this, sitting on his couch wearing a dark t-shirt and old sweats.
I opened my eyes and placed the letter back in its envelope. I have to hide it somewhere so my dad will never be able to find it. And the roses- what do I say? I want to keep them in a vase full of water so they don't die. Do I lie and say I bought them myself? Or do I say it was a complimentary gift from the hotel? Why can't lying be easy?
"Sakura…there you are. Merry Christmas!" my dad said from behind me. I jumped, startled. I stuffed the envelope in my bra and turned around to face him.
"Merry Christmas to you too!" I said, giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek.
"How long have you been up?" he asked.
"Umm….for a few minutes now," I replied.
"You should've woken me up. Where did those roses come from?" dad asked, noticing them for the first time.
"From Hinata," I lied. She sent them here this morning. I told her where we were staying, so I'm sure she had this all planned out or something."
"Well, that's nice of her. They're exquisite flowers, too," dad said. "You should put them in a vase. You know how roses wilt easily. Your mother would always complain about that. One time, I just gave her a fake rose. She kept it after all these years- I know because I found it hidden in one of her drawers."
It was silent then.
"…..is it still there?" I asked.
"Yes. I never throw anything of hers away. You know that," he said. I nodded my head. Of course not, it'd be too painful to part away with memories. We still have her old clothes, for god's sake.
"I should go and put the roses in water," I said quietly.
"Yes," my dad said absent-minded, still stuck in his own private thoughts.
"I'll also make hot chocolate. It is Christmas after all," I said, trying to lighten the mood.
--
Classes have resumed and I'm back at school again. I'm excited. I'll be seeing Sasuke in a few minutes.
"Hey, Naruto, you don't think Mr. Uchiha's running a bit late, do you?" I asked him casually.
"Nah. I saw him in the copying room a few minutes before the bell rang. He's probably on his way right now. Why? Did wittle Sakura miss him?" Naruto teased. I rolled my eyes, trying to seem like I didn't care.
Just then, the door opened and all conversations ceased. Sasuke entered the room with a stack of papers in his hands and he greeted us with a warm smile. "Good morning class. I hope you all had a wonderful break and spent the holidays in a better place than I did," he said. Then he started talking about a homeless shelter that he visited on Christmas. He explained how he helped serve dinner to them and even donated money to the shelter place. The people there were grateful and although they had no homes, they were all well-received and had a nice bed to sleep on.
I was completely blown away by Sasuke's story. I had no idea that he deeply cared about helping the less fortunate. His account of that night made me feel selfish and unappreciative for not doing anything like that. I looked over at Naruto and noticed he was staring at a new watch on his wrist.
"It kinda makes you feel bad, huh?" he whispered to me. I looked at the new necklace I was wearing and nodded my head, agreeing with him.
"…which leads me to your first assignment of the semester," Sasuke said, passing out the papers to us. Since I was sitting in the front, our fingers brushed when he handed me the papers. I felt a jolt of electricity; ignited by two weeks without his touch. It was like feeling alive again. I looked up to see his face, but it was calm and collected. He has a good poker face.
"Hey. Pass the papers back," the girl behind me said. A bit rudely, may I add.
"Oh, sorry," I said, handing them to her.
"Okay," Sasuke said, trying to get our attention again. "As you can see, you each have a small packet in front of you that tells the story of a young boy's struggle of living in the streets. I want you all to read it silently to yourselves for about 20 minutes."
To be honest, I've never really stopped to wonder how other people live. I am aware of homeless people- I just never questioned myself of they way they live their lives. What do they suffer? How do they get by? That small packet answered all of these unasked questions. They do whatever it takes, basically.
After 20 minutes, we had a class discussion. Sasuke stood by his desk, silently hearing our opinions and comments. His gaze drifted off to mine and I could see a special twinkle in his eyes reserved only for me. I smiled dazedly, my mind dissecting every god-like feature of him.
The bell rang and I slowly packed my things in my bag, with every intention of being left alone with my teacher, if only for a few precious minutes. "Sasuke…" I said a little shyly. I didn't know if hugging him would be appropriate right now. "I missed you." Simple as that. We were in each other's arms in an instant. I felt at home. I breathed him in and smelled his cologne.
"Sakura," he murmured my name, stroking my hair with his gentle fingers. "See me after school," he whispered softly in my ear. I felt a shiver run through my body.
"Where?" I asked.
"Here."
"Here? Like here in your classroom?"
"Yes. I don't exactly feel like driving a half-hour just to see you when we can meet right here," he said.
"Won't anyone see us?" I asked.
"I'll keep the door locked. And the hallways are always empty after school. Everyone is either in the gym doing sports or in the library," Sasuke said.
"Okay," I said with a definite smile.
--
I knocked on his door, alone in the empty hallway. It took him only a few seconds to open it and greet me inside. I realized this was the same spot where I first kissed him, about two months ago.
"I've been thinking," I said, setting my bag atop a random desk.
"About what?" Sasuke asked, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I was glad he couldn't see the blush on my face. I wasn't expecting this much contact so soon. But Sasuke must've missed me just as much as I had.
"You're a really great guy, Sasuke. You're so selfless and noble. I really admire you for helping out those homeless people," I said. I felt him tense up behind me. I stroked his hands that were settled on my stomach, trying to loosen him up. "Sasuke?"
"Sakura, I appreciate the kind words you've said about me…but I don't think I deserve them," he answered into the crook of my neck.
"Why not?" I asked, confused. He sighed.
"Because I'm just a coward that's trying to fix what happened in the past," Sasuke said. "If anything, I did it all out of guilt."
"I don't think that's true," I said. "What happened?"
"I…I don't want to talk about it," was all he said. I turned around to face him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Was it a bad thing?" I inquired.
"Sakura, I don't' want to talk about it," he said again, sounding frustrated.
"Someone's got a mean little tempter," I said, trying to lighten the odd tension between us. "Fine. We won't talk about it. We don't' even have to talk at all. We can just… we can just stay like this." Then we kissed. Passionately and wildly. We stumbled our way to Sasuke's desk and somehow I ended up on his lap, with him sitting on his computer chair. It was one of those "in the moment" sort of things.
It was a never-ending, hot and heavy make-out. Sasuke bathed me in plentiful, lavish kisses on my lips and neck as his hand rubbed my thigh. My fingers combed through his ebony locks, pulling and tugging them in every crazy direction. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling too.
After the strong, urgent sensations passed, we just sat there, belonging in each others gaze. I could see myself forever being with this man; cooking him meals, washing his clothes, waking and sleeping with him every single day. Oh, I love him so much. Why can't he feel it? I'm sure that I am exuding all the love my tiny heart can offer.
I felt Sasuke's fingers grazing my cheek. "You have very soft skin, just like a baby," he said. Then his fingers moved down to my mouth. "But your lips are so plump and supple, how a woman's should be."
I looked at him and knew.This was it. This was the moment. Everything was so perfect. "I love you Sasuke Uchiha, more than any other person in this world. Even more than air and life itself and I want to spend the rest of my life with you," I declared to him, the biggest and happiest smile on my face.
Then I saw the look on Sasuke's face and it all came crashing down on me. I believe a small bit of me broke once I saw his reaction.
"Sakura…" he said slowly, choosing his words carefully. But it was all written so clearly on his face. Even his touch felt a bit colder, but I'm sure that was all in my head. "I-I don't know what to say."
"You should say you love me back," I said harshly. He stayed silent, which was even worse. "You do love me, don't you?" I asked desperately, losing hope.
"I can't love you. I just can't," Sasuke said, looking down. I was getting so tired of his vague answers.
"Then explain to me why you can't. You're the teacher, so teach me why you can't love me," I said, feeling the unwanted tears fall. I could taste the bitter saltiness in my throat, where my voice cracked. "How can you kiss me like that and just tell me that you can't love me? Why? Sasuke, why?"
"Sakura, please don't cry. It was never my intention to hurt you like this," Sasuke said, trying to place a comforting hand on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I spat out, shrugging his hand away. I stood up from his lap and started pacing around the room. "Is it because I'm too young? Is that it? Am I not pretty enough? Smart enough? What is it about me that you can't love?" I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest. The tears were still coming down.
"You're not the problem, Sakura. You…you're perfect. You've got everything great going for you- a loving family, college, amazing friends, art. And I don't want to be the one to bring you down with my mistakes. I don't want my stupid fuck-ups to be the reason why you'd hate me and not love me anymore," Sasuke said, standing a few feet away from me. "I wouldn't want to disappoint my parents anymore than I already have. To them, I'm the screwed-up son. And this, Sakura, what we have, as wonderful as it is, I know it's wrong. It never should've gotten this far, to the point where our hearts are now involved."
His words stung me. Didn't he take my feelings seriously? How can he just brush it off like that? "Sasuke, if you didn't want things to go this far, then why'd you lead me on like this? At least I was being honest with you, I knew what I was getting myself into, but you're still a mystery to me," I said.
"I've never lied to you, so please don't give me that honesty crap. Everything I've said to you was real. It was the truth," he said.
"So you think this was a mistake, then? Is that why you can't love me? Because you want to get rid of me and end all this, is that it? Well, don't worry, I'll make this so much easier for you. I'm leaving," I said, wiping my tears away.
"Sakura-," Sasuke said, but I cut him off.
"Please, just save it. You've done enough damage already," I said, grabbing my bag and heading towards the door. I forgot it was locked. Damn. Can't I ever have a dramatic exit? "Unlock this door," I said. He was right beside me.
"Sakura, I can't let you leave like this. I know you're not okay and-"
"Unlock this door now," I said forcefully. Sasuke looked at me with surprise and…hurt?
Anyway, he took out the keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. So this was it. It really was over. I opened the door and quickly left, not wanting him to see me crying again.
--
A broken heart shouldn't hurt this much. I feel like I've been kicked repeatedly in the stomach, and when I cry, it's more than just tears coming out. It's all the pain. I don't know how much more I can take before I truly crumble and break.
KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!
"Sakura, are you feeling any better?" my dad asked.
When I came home yesterday, I immediately went to my room and cried into my pillow. Dad was concerned about me, so I said I was feeling under the weather. Judging from the way I looked, it was believable. Dad offered to cook me something to eat, but I declined. I wasn't feeling hungry.
So now I have to face Sasuke today. And I'm scared. I just want to stay in my room forever and not deal with the world anymore. The thought of just seeing him makes me want to burst out crying. How can I compose myself for an entire class period?
But…I just can't hide. It's better to be brave (or at least pretend to be) and face him as soon as possible. I shouldn't prolong it more than is necessary.
"Yeah. Thanks for asking. Uh…I think I'll go to school after all," I called out to my dad.
"Can I come in? I at least want to feel your temperature," he said.
"Sure," I said.
Dad entered my room and sat down on the edge of my bed. He placed a hand on my forehead. "Well…you feel normal. But, sweetie, are you sure nothing's wrong? I heard you crying last night and, look, your eyes are all red and swollen. Did something happen at school?"
"No, nothing happened," I lied. Geez. When am I ever going to have an honest conversation with my dad?
"Okay," he said, kissing my forehead and leaving the room to give me privacy.
Fifteen minutes later and I was already out of the house. When I arrive at school I spotted Hinata and Naruto in a semi-crowded hallway. "Hey guys," I said with a small smile, but it felt sort of forced and fake. "What's up?"
"Oh my god, Sakura, didn't you hear? There was a fight yesterday," Hinata said. My pulse sped up at the word 'fight.'
"It was between my homeboy Shikamaru and that weirdo Sai. You both should've seen it. There was blood everywhere. It got pretty intense," Naruto said. I relaxed.
"Naruto, stop exaggerating. I just saw Shikamaru and he seemed perfectly fine. Not a bruise on him," Hinata said. Naruto rolled his eyes.
"So, what were they fighting about?" I asked, feigning interest.
"Oh. It was just Ino they were fighting over. Pretty lame, if you ask me. But, anyway, there would have been blood everywhere if Mr. Uchiha hadn't come and stopped the fight," Naruto said.
"Mr. Uchiha was there?" I asked. "How was he? Uh…I mean, did he seem sad or anything? Angry, perhaps?" But I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have said anything at all.
Both Hinata and Naruto raised curious eyebrows at me. "Sad? I guess. He seemed a bit frustrated at seeing two of his students fight, though," Naruto replied. I knew where that frustration came from, and it had nothing to do with Sai and Shikamaru. He was probably still worked up over our argument. I don't blame him. We both said some unkind things to each other.
"Mr. Uchiha was cool about the whole thing. He gave all of us a lecture about violence and let them off the hook," Naruto continued on. "Now that I think about it, he seemed distracted."
Distracted? By me? I thought he was done with me. Didn't he make that clear yesterday?
Just then the bell rang. I looked away when Naruto gave Hinata her goodbye kiss. When he and I walked inside Sasuke's classroom, I surprised the both of us by sitting in the back.
"Um…Sakura, don't we usually sit in the front? What's next? Are we sitting in the middle tomorrow? Why the sudden change?" Naruto asked me?
Sasuke's back was to me, but because Naruto has such a loud voice (it carries across the room) he definitely heard him. I could tell he was waiting for my response by the slight inclination of his head in my direction.
"I got bored sitting in the front. And, beside, all the exciting stuff happens here in the back," I said. "Look, there's Sai now. He doesn't look too happy."
"When does he ever?" Naruto said. I was going to say that Sai is one of those naturally apathetic types of people, but Sasuke began his lesson. He looked displeased- but what did he expect? For things to go on like they were? No. I need to distance myself from him and not give in to my temptation of wanting to be with him again. This time, I'll truly fight hard in keeping my feelings hidden from him. I have to give him up. Even I know it's impossible. It's like asking me to give up water. How can I survive without it? I can't. As much as it breaks my heart, I just have to learn to live without Sasuke.
--
After school I went to work. It's weird how something can happen to you that changes everything, yet things still remain the same. That is how I felt when I entered the café and saw the familiar customers.
"Sakura! I missed you!" Tenten said, giving me a hug. "And would you look at that? You even got a tan! Hey, Lee, Sakura's back!"
"Wha-oh, hi Sakura!" Lee said, coming out from the back room.
"Hi," I said, putting on my white apron. "How are you guys?"
"Who cares about us and our boring lives? How was Sicily?" Tenten asked eagerly. Even Lee was eavesdropping.
"It was fun. I had a great time there," I said, not feeling all that talkative. My mind was somewhere else.
"Is something the matter?" Lee asked, his thick, bushy eyebrows furrowing together.
"N-No. I'm fine," I said, wondering why everyone was asking me that lately. "I should go…um…serve those people," I said, walking away.
As the minutes tick-tocked away, I strained to stay alert. It seemed that everything around me was more dull and uninteresting. Without something to fascinate me, it was much easier to lose focus.
I dropped a cup.
I yelped- surprise entering my senses. I immediately murmured an apology to the customer and scooped down to pick up the broken pieces. Tenten helped me. By then I couldn't control my tears and they came spilling out of me. Rapidly.
"Sakura, it's okay. We'll get a new cup. Don't cry, we can fix this," Tenten said soothingly.
"No, it's not okay," I croaked out. I was aware of people looking over at us. "I…I need to go to the bathroom," I said, standing up and leaving. Fortunately, all the stalls were empty. I risked looking in the mirror and regretted it. I saw all my disappointment and pain reflected back at me.
It's not fair. Why do I get to feel like crap? All I wanted was for Sasuke to love me back; to love me as fiercely as I love him. We should still be together- existing for each other's companionship.
Tenten abruptly came in, an unreadable expression on her face. "It's him, isn't it?" she asked solemnly.
She knows. She's probably known all along. There's no mistaking who she's referring to.
"You were right Tenten. Love isn't as great as it seems," I said.
Silence.
"How did you figure it out?" I asked, meeting her gaze.
"I've realized it for a while. At first, I had my suspicions, but I always nudged them off, thinking it was impossible. But then he'd always come here and I saw you talking together. His eyes said it all. Sakura, that man loves you," Tenten said.
"No he doesn't," I responded icily. "Sas- Mr. Uchiha ended it. He said h-he couldn't love me after I confessed to him my feelings."
"I don't believe that," she said, crossing her arms. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. He said it himself," I said, using paper towels from the dispenser to wipe my tears. "You don't find this odd?" I asked curiously.
"What? That we're having a heart-to-heart talk in the bathroom? No, not really," Tenten said. I smiled, despite my sour mood.
"No, I meant, aren't you concerned about me dating my teacher?" I asked. Well, not anymore.
"Sakura," Tenten said, rolling her eyes. "As impossible as it seemed, I knew it'd be the right thing for the both of you. Don't you see? He was a lonely guy- you said so yourself- and there you were, eager to fill in those empty spaces."
I processed her words and came to the same conclusion as her. Sasuke and I completed each other. And now, without him, I feel so lost and alone. And that's the worst kind of pain.
"Tenten, I don't want to lose him. As much as he's hurt me, I still love him. Please, help me, tell me what to do," I said, grabbing onto her shoulders. She looked taken aback.
"Umm…maybe you should give him space. Back off for a bit, you know?" Tenten said.
"That's what I've been doing. And it's not working. Today in class he ignored me," I said.
"You need to give him time Sakura. He was probably confused or…or maybe he couldn't handle it," Tenten suggested. I shook my head warily.
"Tenten, there was something wrong with him, but he didn't want to talk about it. I think must've happened to him a long time ago and he's trying to hide it away from me. But why?" I said. "I thought he could trust me. I mean, I trust him completely."
"I think you're on to something, Sakura," she said. "Mr. Uchiha probably has a dirty little secret that he's not willing to tell you."
"But what could be so bad that he wouldn't want to tell me?" I asked. He mentioned he was a rebellious teenager…but how far did he actually go? "Tenten?"
"Just promise me that you'll try to leave him alone Sakura. He's a grown man and I'm sure he has his own reasons for not telling you some things," she said.
"Why does everyone still treat me like a child? I'm old enough to understand some adult things," I said. "Sasuke never used to treat me like that," I said as an afterthought.
Tenten sighed deeply. "Just promise me that, okay?" she said.
I'm probably contradicting myself, but I can't live without Sasuke. I won't just sit back and let him get away. I need explanations. I need answers. And he's the only one who can give them to me.
Okay, so all that was just a lame excuse to justify my need to talk to him and patch things over. I acted too rashly and I was beyond upset when I walked out on him and thought I could actually walk out of his life. I love him too much to do that. This is why I nodded my head and lied to Tenten. But she didn't need to do that.
I can't believe I'm actually going to do this. I'm going to spy on Sasuke and unravel all of his deepest, darkest secrets, in the hopes of winning him over again. Because I just have to.
--End of Chapter Seven--
A/N: We hope you liked the chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!!
And just to let you know, we're also currently working on some new stories- The End is Not Goodbye and Starving to be Beautiful. The first one is a NaruxHina love story and the second one is a ShikaxIno romance/angst story. Expect to see them posted soon.